Diana the Valkyrie

Diana the Valkyrie's Newsletter - November 1998

A hard man is good to beat

November

Most of November is taken up with the preparations for Christmas; the Special Christmas Offers, decorating the shop windows with fake snow, and recruiting the fake Santas. Meanwhile, out in the countryside, the holly really is showing a fine crop of red berries. Contrary to what people think, England isn't covered by a thick blanket of fog in November, and hasn't been since Sherlock Holmes's day.

New and updated Galleries

People keep asking me, what about a movie starring a bodybuilder? The answer is Blood Games; look at the Gallery (and you can buy it in the Shopping Mall).

This month saw the start of the WSE pictures going up (they'll be arriving for several months yet). I'm still getting stuff up from the November 1997 Ms Olympia contest! The latest Galleries there show the winners award ceremony.

Thanks to C-P for a bunch of pictures from Switzerland; he went to a competition there and took lots of great shots. He's also the source of the Marilyn mpgs, he and Marilyn being married.

The Library

Smac has his own Bookshelf, and very prolific he is too, writing mostly f/f boxing stories, rather violent and bloody.

Christmas is coming. So I wrote a Christmas story. There's no sex or violence, though.

Ladybumps

Great news for Ladybumps fans. I've put up several more back issues of R & D, and I'll be storing archives of back issues of that learned journal from now on. Plus I added Penny Pontoons, updated Silvie McFarland, Virgina Felsom, Bman, Iczerman, Pope and Hunter S Creek.

Censorship?

The US government has tried to pass a law that tries to tell me what I can and cannot have on the free areas of this web site (this web site is already banned in some countries). In particular, their law doesn't let me have women showing too much skin, stories in which people do what we all know that people do, and any mention of several "vulgar words". I don't know the details of the law, I can't keep track of what every government tries to legislate. Did you know this web site is banned in at least one arab country, the United Arab Emirates? Well, I think it is, it's hard to keep track.

The intent of the law is to protect children, a worthy ambition. But A) it makes the newsgroups illegal, all of them, because anyone might post anything to any of them. B) it tells me that I can't have anything at all rude in my free areas, and C) how are they going to stop children from using their parent's credit cards, which is currently a generally accepted proof of age, but which (let's be realistic) doesn't work because every child over ten knows how to write down their parent's credit card number (and when a service offers to validate age without charging the card, the parents will never find out).

So how can one verify age? Ask to see a jpg of the drivers licence? Do that, and pretty soon, kids will be scanning their parents drivers licence. A jpg of the birth certificate? Same problem. There is, in fact, no way that an online service can verify the age of people, other than have them present themselves in person to a doctor for inspection.

The good news is that the law I take notice of, is the law of the country I live in, the law of England. And in England, the daily family newspapers include material (half naked women, "vulgar" words, and copious information about who's bonking who) that the proposed "Child Online Protection Act" would try to keep from youthful eyes (here in England, you can get married at 16, so by then you'd better know about the birds and the bees!). So the web site won't be much affected by this law if it does get passed. In extreme circumstance, if they actually find that it's a legitimate law (it's being challenged in court) and they start enforcing it, it might mean geographically relocating the server to a country where freedom of speech is more available. That won't affect web site members, because the URLs will be the same.

More good news, a court in one city in the US has issued a temporary restraining order so this law won't be enforced until at least December 4. This is so that the new law can be challenged as being contrary to another pre-existing set of laws in that country; this other set of laws exists to stop the government passing some kinds of laws, and they changed this higher set of laws a bunch of times, and the first and fifth times they changed it, they made changes that possibly makes it illegal to have this new law - yes, I know it's complicated, but hey, I didn't design this system. I'm told that it works just fine, though.

Newsgroups - NewsThumbs

Several members reported that the news dried up on November 15th. But it hadn't! It turned out, I'd not explained carefully enough to Joan, that she had to copy the menus from Greta. So I explained it more carefully, and now she's doing it fine.

A few members have complained to me about inappropriate material on various newsgroups. Yes, I know. The problem is that news is posted by millions of people on 100,000 servers all over the world, then shared amongst these servers. And anyone can post anything to any newsgroup. There's several thousand pictures per day just on the newsgroups that I offer, and if I spent 15 seconds checking each picture, that's a 30 hours per day.

So, I can drop newsgroups, I can add newsgroups, but I can't look at the pictures. In case you were wondering how I can make thumbnails without looking at the pictures, the answer is, hey, this is on a computer, how do you suppose it's done?

The Movie Theatre

There's a whole new Movie Theatre, devoted to the Women's Strength Extravaganza 1998 and this in showing an increasing number of clips. These clips have been the number one download in November.

The Shopping Mall

I added another video to the Builtmore Shop; Blood Games, starring Christine Lydon in an action fantasy.

There's three new Andrulla Blanchette videos, and Cathy vs Pierre is now available on video.

There's also the Kasie Cavanough shop, with three videos you might like.

You might have seen and liked the Cathy dominating and spanking Pierre pictures and clips. Some people told me they liked them, and asked where they could get the video. Well, there wasn't a video, but now there is, I took the footage, edited it, added titles, and now you can buy the video in the Mall.

Uncle SL

Uncle SL (who you might have known under the name Uncle Sleezy, but now he's gone respectable), has started up an Artists Agency. I've made an Uncle SL web site and the artists he's representing have already started to get commissions. If you want some artwork done for a project, or just for your own enjoyment, you can see examples of the work of about a dozen artists, and you can commission them to do art to your preferences. Contact the artist directly (I put the email addresses in the Galleries, or write to Uncle SL.

And if you're an artist, it means that you no longet have to starve in your attic. You can get actual money for doing what you enjoy doing anyway. Maybe not enough to retire on, but the fact that people are willing to pay for something you made, gives you a very warm appreciated feeling. People rarely thank artists for giving their work for free. Contact mortonvh@worldnet.att.net if you want Uncle to represent you.

If you're a story author, and especially if you write about a particular character or characters, you might enjoy seeing your character coming to life with the artist's pencil. Plus, if you like, maybe we can try to sell the illustrated books in the Mall to other members.

New Servers

When I actually went to buy these wonderful 19.2 gb drives for $300, they turn out to exist only on paper. Foo! So it's back to the 17gb drives. The new server is still being built; just as well I start triggering things like this a long time before they're actually needed.

The Office

I was taking Amex for several months. But they seem to be making mistakes, and it's difficult for me to sort out the consequences. Specifically, they seem to take the monthly billings I send them, and hold on to them for a while and then process them all at once. This causes people looking at their statements to think that there might be a double billing, and it's no fun at all to sort out. They may also be doing double-billings, even though I only send them one set of billings.

So I'm going to stop taking Amex. Members paying via Amex will have already been sent an email explaining this in detail, and a reminder. If you're on Amex and you didn't get an email from me, then I did try to send an email, but maybe you mistyped your email address. In which case, contact me.

The Clubhouse

In the Chatroom

By CaptainCorc

When I volunteered to do the chatroom coverage for the December newsletter, I little realized that November would prove to be the month of my lightest attendance therein since I became an addict back in May. I know--that's what the archives are for. But wading through the archives doesn't appeal to me. It's already a matter of record, and I would rather spend the available time actually chatting than looking at chat that happened yesterday or last week.

So, since the idea of this portion of the newsletter is to allow the opportunity for a member to give personal impressions of the place, that's what I'm going to do. Anybody who frequents the Lounge is already in possession of their own version of a chronicle of the highpoints and fun times of the month so an account of what I might consider the primo chat achievements would be superfluous. That, and involve a lot of reading that I don't really have the time or inclination to do.

The reason I haven't been around much is that I've found a real, live woman to spend time with. This virtually unprecedented development has altered my schedule more than somewhat. But even in the midst of this new found intimacy, I continue to drop in whenever I can to see what's going on. There is no place I know of on the web that's anything like Diana the Valkyrie's Coffee Lounge. For me, it's like having a friendly and favorite saloon you can always figure on dropping in on and picking up where you left off. It's a comfort to know the place is available and always a treat of SOME kind when you visit. You never know just WHAT kind of treat you're in for, but that's part of the appeal.

So, in the spirit of the ritual consumption of turkey giblets here in the States, I'd like to say thank you to all who frequent the chat room. Thanks for the company and the fun and the knowledge and the song lyrics. Thanks especially to Diana for making it all possible and for taking a large part in making it a joyful place to be.

And Sheila, congratulations on your sponsorship and official standing as chat attraction on Monday nights. And Happy Birthday, by the way. This reviewer remains your most bloodthirsty companion in the continuing campaign to eradicate chickens from the face of the earth.

You can read CaptainCorc's statistical summary and find out who made how many posts, who said the most, and so on.

On the Message Boards

By Warrior Poet

Hello, Folks

Diana has assigned me the duty of keeping records on the message boards. Here's a monthly on how many total posts there are, what the top ten most popular boards are, who are the most frequent member posters, and some other statistics. I have chosen not to keep track of non-member posters because of the inability to keep track of identities. It is not that the non-members don't make a significant contribution to the message boards, but it would be impossible to keep track of all the names and aliases. These records are not without some margin of error. I must do this in time be put into the newsletter, so I have to do some of it before the stated deadline. Also, when messages are moved into the archives they no longer reveal who is a member and who is not. This being so, I can't count these posts in with the member tally. I will include them in the most popular board figures.

This is my first month of doing this, so if you can think of anything I may be leaving out of my records, please e-mail Diana with your suggestions. Everything I place here is, of course, preapproved by her. Any good ideas you send her will be forwarded to me. Enjoy!

-Rob-

Total Number of Posts: 3131

Top Ten Most Frequently Posted Boards:

  1. Scooby's Stage - 236
  2. Diana the Valkyrie - 190
  3. Biceps - 173
  4. Female Bodybuilders - 160
  5. Jill Brown - 159
  6. Lift & Carry - 155
  7. Sheila Burgess - 114
  8. Andrulla - 101
  9. TV & Movies - 100
  10. TomNine's Tenement - 99
Percent of Total Postings by Members: 59%

Most Frequently Posting Members:

  1. Diana the Valkyrie - 89
  2. Tre' - 62
  3. Jabber - 54
  4. Scooby - 47
  5. Jill Brown - 41
  6. TomNine - 39
  7. Mook - 37
  8. Andrulla - 32
  9. Sheila Burgess - 29
  10. HardbodyPaul - 25

Thank you, Warrior Poet. So now we know who the worst Message Board chatterbox is - it's me!

Other news from the Message Boards

Jazzmon's Message Board is back, and now Jill Brown has her own board (and there's also a new Jill Brown Gallery, showing her doing various feats of strength, plus posing. The commonest reaction amongst members is "Wow".

The internet is international. Most people on the internet speak English (British, American, Australian or Canadian) but not everyone. So I added six message boards for various languages; Dutch, French, German, Italian, Japanese and Spanish. Only postings on those languages will be allowed, any postings in English will be ruled as off-topic (except my introduction, of course) and moved. I'll add more languages if a few people write and ask for them.

The German board started getting postings as soon as I put it up! And the French board became very active in the last few days of Novemeber. On a web site run by a Valkyrie in England with the server in Washington. It really shows you, it's one world.

TomNine and Andrulla logged in together from a Mall in King of Prussia. Blastermouse asked if that was because they couldn't find anywhere bigger for a session.

You can now search the Message Board archives for a word or phrase. And you can search the chat room archives (the ones that have been made completely public) also. Have a look at the main clubhouse page for these.

A Valkyrie for Christmas

It occurs to me that quite a lot of members might like to give their favourite Valkyrie a Christmas present. If that's me, then what I'd like is for you to write a story for the Library on the web site. But there's lots of other Valkyries here.

As you know, to compete in bodybuilding at a high level, what you have to do is train, rest and eat. Sounds simple, right?

Training means six hours per day in the gym. Plus maybe a couple more hours cardio on the bicycle.

Eating has to be little and often, high protein low fat. Steamed chicken, boiled shrimp, eggs, rice, baked potato. And supplements; vitamins, creatine, etc etc. Expensive food.

So it's a full time occupation, and there's no time to earn a living to support yourself, your menfolk, and (possibly) children.

The fans can help. A lot of the fans want to help, I know, because the tell me so. Fan Power, a potent force!

The best present that you can give your favourite Valkyrie, is cash, or a check. Put it in an envelope with a Christmas card, and put it in the post. $10 will be welcomed, you mustn't feel that she'd be offended.

If you don't know your favourite Valkyrie's address, ask on the "Valkyrie for Christmas" message board.

Do *not* send cash or checks to me; if you want to give me something, write a story for the web site.

Jigsaw Puzzle

A jigsaw puzzle over the internet. Who'd have thought it! So I've put one up, thanks for King who found the way to do it, and did the picture. It's on the clubhouse page, near the bottom.

Sponsorships

Nicole did her European tour in November; Germany, France and UK, and was warmly welcomed by members in each country.

Andrulla went out to California to finish making Magneeta. While she was there, she shot a video, we'll be seeing that soon. Meanwhile, there's three more Andrulla videos available in the Shopping Mall.

Back Page

Sometimes people ask me "What's new on the web site?" So I tell them to go look at the What's New page, which tells you which stories, galleries and video clips are new or updated on the web site. I guess maybe people don't realise that this is something that is actually re-made new every single day, so that you can actually pretty much rely on it. I say "pretty much" because if an author sends me a version of a story with a few spelling mistakes corrected, then I'll put it on the site, and it'll look new. Well, it is new! Sort of.

I made a web site for Jazzmon, you'll find it on http://jazzmon.thevalkyrie.com. I quite like making these personalised sites, and I can make them quite quickly, so if you know anyone who needs more publicity, tell her that maybe Diana the Valkyrie can help (there's no charge).

Christmas is coming, and all over the country, geese are looking nervous. I heard that the UK government will be allowing us to eat beef on the bone again soon (they banned it, on account of mad cows). One wonders what changed to make them unban it. Maybe I'll have a roast ox for Christmas. Or maybe it'll be turkey again.

The next newsletter will be after Christmas, so I'll wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year now, and may Joy be Unconfined. Well, if she eats too much turkey, she'll at least have to loosen her belt a bit.

I checked the site statistics. that Sandra counts up each night. At the end of November 1998, there were about 134,000 pictures (5.5 gigabytes), 6.3 gigabytes of video, 2600 text files (mostly stories) and a total of about twelve gigabytes. That's not including News, which is another ten gigabytes or so.

To the Library