Warning signs and short stuff By The Collector Tales from the feminine side or Muffy’s muscles. Copyright 1998 The Collector These stories are adult in nature and should not be read by anyone under 21. Send comments to ChuckSt35@aol.com Dear reader: As my primary concern is for your health and well being, this collection is offered in hopes that you will recognize the subtle warnings and nuances of feminine strength. She may be a co-worker, a friend, an object of your affection, but please, for your safety, watch for the signals. As always, when in doubt, consult…well, you know. You’re in rush hour traffic, late for work at your new job. As the taillights on the car in front of you suddenly light up, you slam on the brakes, but still hitting the car in front of you. You get out of your car, as does the driver in front. She walks up to you. “Why were you following me so close?” As you look at her, she’s barely a day over 20, nor an inch over 5’5”, a very attractive brunette, dressed in a skirt, blouse and heels. “I’m sorry…are you OK?” “I’m fine, but our cars are locked together. You better call someone.” She says. You grab your cell phone, then grab a marker to place on the road at the well to rear of the cars. As you walk back to the cars, you see only her legs as she’s bent over between the cars. You hear the wrenching sound of metal being torn from metal. She sees you, then quickly jumps into her car and drives off. You look at your bumper and its original shape has been restored! You arrive at your office in a huff, bypassing everyone knowing you’re late for your first meeting. You walk into the conference room and take your chair. Your boss enters the room escorting the same girl you saw this morning. “Ah, Jack” he says, “I’d like you to meet your new assistant, Susan. Susan, I’m sure Jack will be glad to teach you everything he knows.” “I-I think we’ve met.” As you take her small, feminine, hand, you feel strength in her grip quite like nothing you’ve felt before. She replies to you, a coy expression on her face, “I think we can probably teach each other a thing or two…can’t we Jack?” * * * Linda calls you, frantic, from a phone booth, claiming an old boyfriend is stalking her. You get in your car, rush to her, and find the area surrounded by police cars and an ambulance just arriving. You see a man, much larger than yourself lying on the ground, bruised, a black eye, his clothes torn. You run to Linda, wrap your arms around her, and her emotions begin to spill as she breaks out in tears. She looks up into your eyes and innocently says, “I didn’t mean to hurt him, honey, but I warned him.” “But Linda…how…?” “Oh…silly me…I knew there was something else I meant to tell you.” * * * Katie tells you that your favorite bar is holding arm wrestling tournaments Saturday night and she wants you to enter it, thinking you might do well. You sign up, at 185 pounds, for the heavyweight group. You listen as the pairings are called for your division, and also hear Katie’s name called. At only 120 pounds, you tell her you’ll get it corrected so she’s in the women’s division. She looks at you and says, “But, honey, I’m in the right division. Maybe we’ll meet in the finals…I know I’ll be there.” * * * You’re in your office in a heated argument with your secretary. She is actually yelling at you, insisting you’ve sexually harassed her. You storm out of the office, then hear a slight shriek from her and a grinding noise. You hurry back into your office, and she quickly puts her right arm behind her so as to not let you see it as she positions herself in the room strategically. You walk to her and look behind her, shocked at what you see. She then moves her right arm from behind her back as you notice a swelling in her upper arm as she asks, “Looking for this?” holding the door to your safe. * * * On your third date with Tara, up to this point, the most she’s let you do is kiss her. You’re sitting on your bed as you begin to disrobe each other. As her clothes fall from her, her body is as beautiful, as perfectly proportioned, as you’d imagined. As she looks at you, her breathing becomes heavier, her tongue gently slides across her lips, and a broad smile comes to her. Without warning, you feel yourself lifted off your feet, as she throws you to the bed, and straddles you. You reach your hands up to grab her, but her hands meet yours. You struggle to free your hands, then realize, even though you’re exerting all your strength, that you’re no match for her as your hands are slowly, yet easily pinned behind your head as you watch her lips come to meet yours. * * * You’re at a formal business dinner and your date is your boss’ secretary, Barbie. Your boss, Jerry at 6’3” and drunk, walks up to both of you, discreetly grabs your sport coat and pins you against the wall. “Stay away from Jeanette if you want to keep your job.” At 5’9”, you’re no match for him, not to mention he controls your livelihood. Barbie, at 5’4”, grabs his wrist. “Barbie…no…please.” He mumbles. You look into her brown eyes; she smiles at you and turns her gaze to Jerry. As she squeezes his wrist, he lets go of you. She turns his arm sideways then he grabs her wrist with his other hand. She smiles quietly at him as you notice his knees begin to bend, as she ignores his other hand. As she forces Jerry to the floor, a strange look comes to her as her smile turns vicious. “Barbie…you’re hurting me…please” Jerry begs. His knees buckle, as he falls to the floor, as Barbie looks down at him, an air of superiority in her eyes. “I know…you won’t try that now again will you?” she asks casually. “N-no…I’m…” She lets his hand go, then reaches for yours as you walk off together. You look into her eyes and she says, “I’m sorry, I guess I should have told you about my little secret.” * * * As you clean out your garage with your girlfriend, Wendy, you notice she picks up an old rope lying the length of the floor. She holds it in her hand while she sees something else that interests her. You reach for the end lying close to you. Feeling romantic, you pull on the rope to reel her in. But she doesn’t move. You then grab the rope with both hands, but she is totally unaware of your efforts. You struggle, putting your entire weight behind trying to pull her to you, but still nothing. Your entire body is leaning back, but she seems totally oblivious to your efforts. Without warning, she shifts her body away from you, pulling you off your feet and onto the floor, where you land at her feet. She looks down at you, a look of innocence on her face. “Honey, what happened?” she asks. “Oh, nothing, I just slipped.” You reply. “A strong wind or something.” “Probably something…or someone, very strong, Honey, I’d be careful.” * * * Visiting your girlfriend Teresa’s mother’s home for the first time, she invites you to stay for dinner, her ulterior motive being to find out more about the guy dating her daughter, or so you think. She’s a strikingly beautiful, well-built woman who could pass easily for Teresa’s sister. She’s also a flirt. While Teresa’s in the kitchen with dinner, she fixes you a drink and asks you to sit on the couch next to her, your backs to the kitchen. As the conversation carries on, you notice her moving closer and closer to you, her skirt inching up each time she moves, her beautiful legs begging your attention. As she inches closer yet, you start to stand up to move away. She places her hand lightly on your chest. You push yourself harder, but you’re unable to move, realizing she’s a much stronger woman than she appears, even much stronger than you would expect a man to be. “A little stronger than you expected John?” she asks. “Y-yes…Kathy…I-I didn’t think a woman could have strength like you.” Her hand still on your chest, you reach up, place your hand around her bicep and feel it tense immediately, expanding in your hand, feeling each ounce of her strength. “I’m a very powerful woman John…extremely powerful…I think you could learn to enjoy that.” “Mother!” Teresa walks from behind the couch. “But Honey” Kathy says to her daughter, “He’s so cute…I thought maybe….” Teresa reaches down and grabs her mother’s wrist. You see Kathy’s face grimace, resisting Teresa, as Teresa easily pulls it away from your chest, much to your shock. “Oh, alright, honey, you win.” Kathy says to her daughter. As Teresa stands over you, Kathy walks away and you hear her mumble, “My own daughter…half my age and twice as strong.” Teresa looks at you and says, “I’ll deal with you later.” * * * After the football game Friday night, the team and the cheerleaders head for your house. Occupying both the basement and the main floor, it’s wall to wall people. As you and Kelly, your girlfriend and head cheerleader wander through the house, you hear roars and cheers coming from the basement. You and Kelly scurry downstairs and see everyone gathered in a circle. In the middle you see the head of Gonzo, your center and the biggest, and by far the strongest guy on your team, arm wrestling Erica, one of the other cheerleaders! You look at their faces and are astonished to see Gonzo sweating, straining while Erica, upon seeing you both, waves to you. “Don’t hurt him, Erica!” Kelly calls out. “I won’t…I’ll put him down real easy.” She says as she slowly, yet deliberately pushes Gonzo’s arm to the table. She gets up and comes to join you. “Erica…how’d you do that? How’d you’d get so strong?” you ask. “Oh that? That wasn’t that hard.” Kelly looks at Erica and asks, “He’s not that strong is he?” You look at Kelly, not believing what you just heard. “Well, for a guy I guess he is, but no, he’s pretty weak. I still don’t understand how…” Erica replies. Kelly interrupts, “I know…it’s funny isn’t it…how guys can even think they could be as strong as a girl.” Erica replies “You’d think they’d learn by now.” “I know, I hate to keep proving it to them. You’re not like that are you Honey?” Kelly asks you. You look at her, your mouth on the floor, not having a clue what to say. Erica says, “Oh no…” Kelly takes your hand in hers. “C’mon Honey, it’s time you learned.” As you walk off, you feel her delicate hand grip yours tighter and a slight pain runs up your arm as she smiles back at you and she says, “This won’t hurt baby…I promise.” * * * It’s 2:54 AM. You come home from a date and see your babysitter, Muffy, 20, wearing headphones and dancing in the living room. She wasn’t your first choice for a sitter, but the only one left to care for your 8- year-old sister while you’re visiting. She’s gorgeous, but ditzy, the girl every guy in the neighborhood wants to date, the only one you never heard rumors about, at two years your junior you’ve have given anything for one night with her. She waves at you as though nothing is wrong and continues dancing. You’re drawn to the skimpy outfit she’s wearing that fits her much too well. Her legs are bare, as are her feet. Her top is cut above her navel and as she jumps the bottom of her breasts reveal themselves. You motion to her to take off the headphones. “Hi…you wanna use them?” she asks. “Er…no...did everything go OK? Karen’s sleeping alright?” “Yeah…everything’s cool…I like sitting for Karen…she’s so much fun…and she helped out a lot too.” “I’m glad everything’s OK. Here you go” as you hand her the fee. As Muffy walks to the door, you ask, “What do you mean, she helped out a lot?” “Oh, she tied up the burglars. Bye.” “Wait a minute! What burglars?” “The ones in the kitchen. I must have forgot! Come here…it was so cool, you should have been here.” “What happened? You ask as you walk into the kitchen and see three large men lying tied up in the corner. And Muffy proceeds to tell you what happened, in her own 90-mph, animated way. “Well, these three guys walked in, and like, they thought they were going to rob you, so like I wasn’t going to let them. And the one guy says ‘Sit down and shut up” and like I didn’t want to so I said ‘I’m so sure…make me” and he grabbed me but he didn’t know I was strong, so I lifted him up and threw him at the other two guys, and they got really really really mad and all came at me at once but I grabbed two of them by the shirts and lifted them up in the air and like, they were really really really surprised, but I threw them across the room and the other guy came at me but I put his head in my arm and gave him noogies on his head and he was crying because I wouldn’t let go and said my big arm muscle was squeezing against his face and then I think he passed out then the other two guys came at me again but I grabbed each of their hands and I think I broke them since they were screaming really really really loud and woke Karen and she came down and saw us and was crying and that made me mad so I just started slapping both guys in the face and backed them up all the way to the kitchen and Karen was still crying and that made me even madder so I made a fist and hit both of them on the jaw and they fell down and then I went and picked up the other guy and brought him in here and I hated to finish them because, like I felt so strong and sexy beating them up and then I found a rope and Karen helped me tie them up.” “You did this Muffy? By yourself.” “Not by myself. No way.” “Well, who else then?” “Like, duh, my muscles, what else…and they’re really really really strong too. But I can’t show you…I’m not 21 yet.” You’re surprised, shocked, at what the supposedly ditzy blonde has done, and now find her enchantingly alluring. And you’d have given anything to see how strong she is. You ask her, “You said that made you feel strong…and sexy?” “Like, for real, I was hot, but I can’t talk about that till I’m 21. I can’t do anything till I’m 21! And I want to do everything.” She comes close to you, her body barely an inch away. She hold out her right arm, perpendicular to the floor, and rolls up her sleeve. “What are you doing?” you ask. “5…4…3…2…1” And you hear the clock strike 3:00 AM. “Aren’t you going to wish me Happy Birthday?” “Huh?” “Well, you want to see Muffy’s muscles, don’t you?” as she presses her beautiful body against yours raising her powerful arm in front of you. * * * You’ve started dating Anne, who works in the same building as you. She’s beautiful, intelligent, sweet, seemingly the woman of your dreams. After three dates, she decides it’s time you met her twins, Mark and Jenny, both 13, and asks you over for dinner. As she’s fixing dinner, her boy comes in with a football and asks you to play catch with him. After being in the back yard a few minutes, Jenny shows up and wants to play also, so you form a triangle. You’re separated by 20 yards from Jenny, so you move closer to her. She tells you to stay there, that she can throw it that far. She takes an easy catch from Mark, then throws it ‘like a girl’, but on a line shot that hits your chest and sets you back a couple paces. Each time she throws it, you find yourself backing further away until you’re nearly 40 yards away, yet she still throws it effortlessly, and still on a line. Your backing away has caused Mark to move back also until you realize you’re using all your strength to reach Mark, yet Jenny is still using apparently little effort. Your hear Anne’s voice call Jenny as she rushes inside, her ponytail swaying from side to side. You and Mark also call it quits. As you walk towards the house, Mark starts a conversation. “I wish I could throw like my sister.” “I’ll say…she has a great arm.” “I know, I can’t beat her at anything.” “Not anything? How come…there must be something.” “Nope. She’s so strong; I can’t even come close to beating her. And she knows it, so there’s nothing I can do about it. But the best part is, none of the big guys at school pick on me ‘cause they’re afraid of her.” “You’re talking about Jenny? Your sister?” “Yeah…I know she doesn’t look it, but a guy would have to be stupid to mess with her. She even has muscles bigger than any guy I know. Only saw one person ever beat her at anything.” “Oh, your dad?” “Ha ha, no, my mom, she’s so strong, she almost makes Jenny look weak. And, boy, has she got muscles!” We walk into the house and into the kitchen where Anne greets us. As Mark walks away, she says, “I heard you guys talking. I hope…that doesn’t scare you does it? ” “Um…no, should it?” Anne gently kisses your cheek, looks at you and smiles, “Oh…maybe.” * * * You’ve met Shannon, your assistant, in the library downtown to do some research for a client. After three hours, at 10:00 PM, you’re both dead tired, but you’ve collected everything you need for your presentation. All that needs to be done is to have everything catalogued, run the numbers, type the first draft and prepare the charts, a job that will take at least 8 hours…. and has to be done by 8:00 AM. “Sorry, Shannon, but I guess you’re not finished yet. You know I need this by morning.” “Oh, really? What makes you think I’m going to be up all night doing this?” “I said you are, that’s why.” “You think so? I have no intention of doing this tonight. You’ll have to do it yourself. Do you have a problem with that?” “Yes, I’m your boss. What makes you think you can get away with talking to me like this?” She reaches into her purse, thumbs through her wallet and pulls out a newspaper clipping, apparently several years old, unfolds it and hands it to you. The article headline reads “The Olympic committee ruled today that a local teenage girl is ineligible to compete in men’s weightlifting. In an unusual ruling, a committee spokesman said that 17 year old Shannon McTavish, a cheerleader and beauty queen, has strength far superior to the men entering that would make the event non- competitive, and unfair for the rest of the competitors. Replied Shannon, “I just think it’s unfair. I can’t help it if I’m stronger than they are. If they keep us girls out, they’ll never know who’s really the strongest.” Shannon looks at you and asks, “That article is four years old. I’m even stronger now. Do you still have a problem…boss?” Then she moves her pretty face close to yours and asks, “Are you willing to put your strength against mine? After all, I am just a girl.” “N-no…Shannon…” “Then you better hurry…you have a lot of work to do tonight.” * * * The preparations have taken nearly a year. Fortunately for you, Jennifer and her mother have handled everything. They selected the clothes, ordered the flowers, arranged the caterers, selected the minister, wrote the invitations…and Jennifer even wrote the vows herself. As you stand at the altar, Jennifer and her father walk down the aisle towards you. You’ve never seen her happier…or a woman more beautiful. You hear her mother sniffling in the front row. She approaches you and takes your hand as you turn towards the front. As you hear the vows being read to you, they pass by you as only conversation, until you hear, “…and do you promise to obey Jennifer…” “Obey?” you nearly shout. Then Jennifer looks up at you, that look she gives you that makes your heart melt, and her delicate hand takes on the strength of a vise that shoots a pain up your arm and through your body as you feel her power for the first time. You feel tears welling up in your eyes, and your knees get weak as you look at her. “Honey?” she asks, as she squeezes your hand just slightly harder, her blue eyes staring at you through her veil, and a grin comes to her you’ve never seen before. “I-I do.” you mutter. As you turn to kiss her, your knees give as she holds you up and you hear the congregation clapping. And over her shoulder you see the sad face of her father staring at you, his head moving slightly from side to side.