Things are often topsy turvy in the world of schmoos. Enculturated to admire thin, soft, weak, and non-athletic women, a schmoo's hardwiring (along with a pinch of mysterious environmental factors) leads him to admire thick, hard, strong, and athletic women. Schmoos live in a world dominated by men while they dream of women who are dominant. Topsy turvy....
Given a schmoo's fate of swimming upstream, it's not surprising that sometimes this "anti-attitude" expresses itself in a chatroom built for schmoos and other hangers on ;-). Case in point: late in September an unusual form of competition came to Diana's Coffee Lounge. Though competition usually infers an event structured to determine who is the best at something, this struggle for was for last place!
It all began with a comparison of male brain-size... 9-22-99
JoanneFan - Tre, I know how you black guys are. I've been in the locker room. Hahaha!~... boomer - tre is endowed, he told me so gaily - ....a manly man............ MitchMiller - You guys wanna see big eh?... MitchMiller - ( )( )///////////////////////]]]]D how's dat! * Just Metaform Tré checks to make sure his towel is securely fastened... MitchMiller - 1/32 scale model of the original. Just Metaform Tré - You guys are terrible...I'm highly offended by the nature of this discussion. Just Metaform Tré - I hope you people know that I am celibate. gaily - ...boys will be boys......
Dr. Sigmund Biceps PhD propounds that discussions of such a sensitive, Freudian nature often negatively impact the egos of the insecure.You know, the shrink may have something there...
boomer - you're offended, i'm jealous... boomer - i'm celibate too, just not by personal choice Bryan S7 - I'm just a loser. ;)... Bryan S7 - I lettered in Choir.. :)... boomer - bryan, theres only room for one loser in this room boomer - and since ms isnt here, i'm it Diana the Valkyrie - So, we have to have a loser competition, so see who gaily - ...well, this conversation has taken an interesting turn........... Diana the Valkyrie - who is the chatroom loser?...Despite the effect on the male-ego, competition is a male moral imperative...
Diana the Valkyrie - So B7, state your case for why you think you're the Chatroom Loser boomer - hey, i got beat out for a message board by some guy called wild guy... Diana the Valkyrie - Boomer, explain why you think you're the Chatroom Loser... boomer - with my luck bryan will win the loser competition and i will lose at that too... boomer - now theres a question, who is the loser, the one that wins the loser comp or the one that loses it... Diana the Valkyrie - Boomer, you're getting philosphical Diana the Valkyrie - Obviously, the loser of the competition is the loser... Diana the Valkyrie - And so far, Bryan hasn't even submitted his entry... boomer - then i win, i'm the loser Just Metaform Tré - I'm the biggest chatroom loser because I haven't had sex since...mmmm...the last time I had sex.... oriole99 - Boomer, you're only a loser if you think you're a loser... boomer - i dont think i'm a loser, but everybody else cant be that wrong Bryan S7 - Submittied my entry for what? Sorry, I'm kinda in-and-out... Diana the Valkyrie - Good entry, Bryan. I think that beat's Boomer's entry... Bryan S7 - If we're debating who's the biggest loser, I win hands down... David - Heloo everyone!... David - I must be a loser. I can't spell hello. Bryan S7 - I am, trust me on that one... Bryan S7 - See, Diana thinks I'm a loser. ;-)... Diana the Valkyrie - It's difficult to decide, they're all so close...
Hmmmmm...Diana indecisive? Perhaps she's just being politically correct. Regardless, the penultimate loser has yet to be determined. I despise loose ends. So send your votes to me at TexBB@aol.com and I'll name the winner in next month's newsletter... Click this if you want to know my prediction and some insight into the anatomy of a loser... 06.htm at www.thevalkyrie.com
Comment from the Valkyrie:
It isn't indecision or an attempt at political correctness. The problem is that whoever wins the "biggest loser" competition is a winner. The problem is one of logical paradox; by selecting the biggest loser, he is no longer a loser and ought to be stripped of the title, which is then awarded to ... and so on.