The Weapon - Lex - part 22
By Diana the Valkyrie
So what are you doing this afternoon
Update: 06/11/2003 to valkyrie05



"So what are you doing this afternoon?" she asked. "I think I'm going to put
together the biggest file server I've ever handled." "For why?" she asked.
"For, er. Your data." "Oh, really?" she queried, "you really think you can
handle me?" And she gave me a sexy smile.

I looked at her, up and down. "I don't think there's a word for the size of
data you've got there." "Damn straight." "So what am I supposed to do?" "How
about, admit you can't do it, tell Cattermole it's not possible ... " "She'll
get me fired ..." "I know, but you're stuck with that no matter what happens,
so you might as well take the afternoon off and come visit some friends of
mine."

She was right. Cattermole is a vindictive vicious virago, she'll get me fired
for being unable to do something that's plainly impossible. So I might as well
get used to the idea. And if the Guardian of Humanity, um I mean Wendy, is
asking me to visit friends with her, that's probably the best offer I'll ever
have in my whole life. "Me?" was my rather inadequate response. "Yes, you. You
remind me of someone I knew a while back." "Knew? What happened to him?" "He
died, froze to death. But his death taught me one of the most important
lessons I ever learned, so he didn't die in vain." "How did he freeze to
death?" "He fell asleep outdoors in the snow. You see, he was expecting me to
look after him. No, he was relying on me to look after him. I assumed that
grown-up humans can pretty much take care of themselves, but he got the idea
that I'd be there any time he had any problem. And that's not how it works."

"So how does it work? I thought you're supposed to be our Guardian?"

"I'm not *supposed* to, I don't have to do this. I do this because I love you,
it's the way we People are. Each of us has a species, we arrive soon after
we're born, and we bond to our species, like a chick bonds to the mother hen?
And you're my species, and I love you to bits. But really, you can't expect me
to take care of all the small stuff. I mean, if an asteroid were to hit the
planet, I'd stop it, obviously, but, well. Fact is, you all die. You live for
about a hundred years, tops, and then you die, and I can't stop that
happening. So a quarter million of you die every day, and that hurts, but
that's the way it is."

"You could stop an asteroid?" I asked, focussing on the important stuff.

She gave me an "of course" look. I gulped.

"Mostly what I do is small stuff, without telling anyone, like helping someone
get in their crops before the wet causes problems, or mending someone's roof
to stop them getting wet when it rains. But the main reason I'm here is to
keep you out of the war."

"War?"

"Between the ... oh, I'll tell you about that some other time, you want to
visit my friends or don't you?"

"Yes, OK. I mean, yes please, I'd love to. What friends, where? Are they more
super-people like you?"

She laughed. "Thing is, Geoff, in a few months, I'm going to need a few
billion dollars, so I need to start getting something organised." "Good idea,
I could do with a couple of million myself." "Oh, you are *so* like Simon!"
"So where are we going?" "Las Vegas" "But that's, that's, well, a long way
away, it'll take until at least this evening to get there." "Not if we fly."
"No, even by airplane, it takes time to get to the airport, time to ... hey.
Hey. HEY!!!"

You know that feeling you get when an express elevator whooshes you up to the
100th floor? That's the feeling I got, except that it was ten times worse, and
continued for ten times longer. And when I finally plucked up the courage to
open my eyes, we were flying over the desert at least a mile high. "Five
miles, actually," she said. "How fast?" I asked. "90% the speed of sound, I
don't want to make a sonic boom, and it really isn't that far from here." "Why
don't I feel the wind?" "I've got a force sheet around you. That's also the
reason why you can breathe, by the way."

Oh.

"I feel kind of helpless." "That's because you are. Trust me, I won't let you
fall." Yes. Well. I don't really have much choice, do I? "So, do you trust
me?" "Yes, sure." "No, Geoff, not just because you have no option, I mean
really, do you trust me." I thought about this. Yes. "Yes, I do." "Good. Hold
on to that thought, you'll need it later."

"So who are we going to visit?" "Some people. Geoff, can you keep a secret?"
"Yes, I think so." "Good. Because you're going to have to."

We landed in the middle of Vegas, in a large parking lot. No-one saw us come
down. Wendy set me on my feet, and held my arm while I got my knees
functioning again. Once I'd got myself sorted out, I turned to her, and said,
"Fuck."

And then I just stood there with my mouth open.

It wasn't just because the wings had gone. It wasn't just because she'd gone
platinum blonde. It wasn't even because she'd lost several inches of height.