The Weapon - Resurrection - part 25
By Diana the Valkyrie
The impossible takes a little longer
Update: 25/06/2003 to valkyrie05



I thought about that for a minute. "It's impossible" is what people say when
what they actually mean is "I don't know how to do that." But Wendy was likely
to take this literally, and from there, she'd think that if Duncan says it's
impossible, then it is impossible. And if Wendy believed that it was
impossible, then that meant that it actually was. Because in order to do
something difficult, you have to really believe that it can be done.

Oh well. I have to try. "Just because Duncan says it's impossible, doesn't
mean it is." She looked down at me. "Don't be silly, David." Damn. Try again.
"Fiona didn't think it's impossible." "True. You know, in all the time I've
known her, she's never asked me for anything? Not a thing! Everyone asks me
for things, some people all the time." "Can I have a kiss?" She hugged me
tighter, and I felt my ribs grind against her body. "But Fiona never asked for
anything until now. That must mean it's really important to her." "Wendy.
Unnnhhh. Please ...." "Oh, sorry baby." she slackened off her hug a bit, and
now I could breathe again. "Yes, it is important, Wendy. The whole world is
suffering, and no-one can see a way out. But you bring something new to the
table."

"David, listen. We're talking about a world economy here. We're talking about
several billion people and their motivations, their plans, their dreams. What
I'm good at is breaking things, not making things. Show me a fleet of
warships, and I'll show you a tangled mess of wreckage. But show me a tangled
mess of wreckage, and I wouldn't be able to make a star fleet out of it. It's
all one way, increasing entropy. I can't do it, Duncan agrees, that's that.
Let's find a kitten in a tree, I can do those."

"Fiona asked you." "Yes." "She thinks it's very important." "So does Duncan,
but it's irrelevant how important it is if I can't do it." "That's true, but
look, let's not give up right now. I've got a couple of ideas, but I need to
get them straightened out in my head. When I've got them straight, then we'll
ask Duncan, and we'll see what he says. Huh?" She sighed. "I suppose so. It
can't hurt for you to try to make plans, but while you're doing that, it's
going to be kitten-in-a-tree time for me." "Huh?" I asked. "You know what us
superheroes say? There's always another kitten in a tree."

We landed at night. I mean, it was very late afternoon, but at this time of
year, it was dark. Wendy started clattering saucepans in the kitchen, I
scuttled off to my study to make plans.

From my own knowledge of the world, and Fiona's analysis, I could see four
interlocking problems. And the difficult thing was that they were
interlocking; you couldn't just deal with one of them.

First, there was the political problem caused by the UN sanctions against the
US. That also led, in part, to the economic problems of the Great Depression,
and to travel restrictions.

Second, there was the economic problems of the Great Depression, caused partly
by the sanctions, and partly by the cost of energy, mostly meaning oil,
because no-one was willing to invest in the new fusion power technology,
because of the uncertainty of recovering the investment on account of the
Great Depression.

Third, there was the medical problem, which led to people being isolated and
afraid or unable to travel, which led to political distance between countries,
which fed the political problem. It also cause a morale problem; people were
afraid of catching one of the several prevalent diseases, and it also made the
economic problem worse.

And fourthly, there was the general loss of people's morale, caused partly by
the mass unemployment (economic problem), partly by the high cost of energy
(oil price problem), and partly by the medical problem. The low morale meant
that people weren't spending, which impacted on the world economic situation.

Just like in the 1930s, a major cause of the Great Depression, was the Great
Depression itself. It fed on itself, a vicious circle.

To tackle the medical problem would need huge amounts of medical research,
which would cost huge amounts of money, which wasn't available, because of the
economic problem.

In order to tackle the economic problem ... the political problem and the oil
cost problem would need to be dealt with.

And so on. To deal with any of the four problems, the other three had to be
dealt with first. No wonder Duncan thought it wasn't possible. Or, to be more
precise, Wendy's Duncan emulator. Because it wasn't really Duncan's thoughts,
it was Wendy's idea of what Duncan would have thought.

And there was a lot about human motivation that Wendy didn't understand.

When Alexander the Great was faced with having to unravel the Gordian Knot, he
just took his sword to it and chopped it apart. My idea was to use Wendy as a
sword to break this Gordian Knot apart. And to do that, we'd attack all four
parts of the situation pretty much simultaneously. What I had in mind, was a
confidence trick. Because the problem, in essence, was that confidence was
lacking.

Over dinner, I started to explain my ideas. "Like so many things, it boils
down to a money problem." Wendy held up her hand. "Stop right there, David.
I've been trying to understand this money thing of yours for fifty years now,
and I still don't get it. And I don't want you to try again, it's a waste of
time. I just can't get my head around it; every time I think I've got it, I
find I just didn't understand." "But you got money when you worked at the
restaurant, you must have understood that." "Right. They gave me a bundle of
paper, I gave that to the church, what's to understand?"

Yes. I suppose so. She didn't have any needs that money would take care of.
She didn't understand how money symbolises ... well, no point in going over
it. But since money is just a symbol, I ought to be able to explain this
without the symbolism. "And anyway, Duncan says it's impossible." And if
Duncan said it, it must be right, is the consequence that is so obvious that
it doesn't have to be stated. So, how do I get out of that quandary?

"Wendy, I need to talk to Duncan." "Go right ahead, he gets a feed of
everything I see and hear." "Yes, but I don't want you listening in." "Oh, you
humans and your secrets," she said, huffily. "Please, Wendy?" "OK, if you
want. I'll go take a hike, you talk to Duncan, I won't listen" and she left
the room.

Leaving me. All alone. No Wendy, no Duncan.

Wait a minute. She can hear me even if she isn't here, she told me about that
gravity wave thing. And she told me I could talk to Duncan, she won't listen.
So, I'll just trust her.

So I sat there all alone, and explained my ideas, and my plan, to a Duncan
that died 23 years ago and only existed as an emulation in Wendy's mind, and
neither of them were present. I felt like a complete dipstick, and if a
passing psychiatrist had seen me, he'd have concluded that I was ripe for the
Funny Farm, my place in Arkham Asylum assured.

But, having been around Wendy for a few days now, I was now convinced that if
she said she could do something, she was right. So I finished my explanation,
and then told him that Wendy could come back now.

She flew in through the door, and said "You really ought to rig up one of
those cat-flaps for me like Duncan made." "What did he say." "He said that
you're completely barmy, the world is screwed, your plan is insane, and it
just might work." I grinned. "So it's not impossible?" "No, he says maybe,
just maybe ..." "So you'll give it a try?" "Of course I will. I'm the Guardian
of Humanity, what the hell use am I if the first time Humanity has a major
problem I just turn tail and concentrate on kittens-in-trees? Anyway, Fiona
wants it, and I've never been able to give her anything that she wanted
before, I've tried chocolate and flowers, and she passes those straight on to
her patients."

"Right" I said, rubbing my hands together gleefully. "This should be fun."
Maybe I should explain, us academics don't often get a chance to Save the
World. Not that I'd be Saving the World, that would be Wendy. But I'd be the
source of the advice that she'd be using. Wendy smiled. "And I've got some
advice from Fiona that I'd like to try out." "Oh? What's that," she asked.
"Come to bed, and I'll show you."

In bed, she started to arrange herself as usual, with her arms around me and
her cape covering us both. This was a very pleasant way to sleep, but I was
emboldened by Fiona's suggestion. Instead of just relaxing into her arms and
nestling up close to her body, I made a sudden push, and a grab, and I got on
top of her.

"Now what?" she said.

"And now, my dear, I'm going to rape you," I said, in my best Boris Karloff
imitation.

I'm not sure what I expected. Maybe she'd laugh, tell me not to be silly, and
to go to sleep. Maybe a stinging slap on the backside. I certainly didn't
expect what I got. Her voice went up an octave, and she said in a little-girl
voice, "Oh no, please don't hurt me, I'll be good" So I deepened my voice a
bit, "Oh yes! I'm the big bad wolf and I'm going to gobble you all up." And
she ....

She ...

Look. I know this is silly stuff. Very silly. And I also know this is none of
your business. Go away, and come back in the morning.

. . .