The Weapon - Resurrection - part 9
By Diana the Valkyrie
Lovers split asunder
Update: 24/05/2003 to valkyrie05


She was obviously feeling better now, so I switched the PDA recorder back on,
and started to continue my questioning.

"So, I understand now why you disappeared, went into hiding. Do you have any
plans to come back again as the Guardian of Humanity?"

"I can't fly," she said, simply. Yes, I'd forgotten about that. No big deal to
someone like me, since I can't fly in the first place. But how does a
superhero get to where the action is? Hop on a bus? Hail a taxi? Drive off in
the Batmobile only to find that it's impossible to park in London?

She was sitting on the floor again, I was back in my chair, looking down at
her. "You know, that's a major problem," I said. She nodded. "Especially if I
have to deal with an invasion from the stars. Lobbing rocks at them from the
surface isn't going to work very well, I need to be able to get out there and
break things." "So how did you lose your ability to fly?" "I don't know." "I
thought nothing can damage you?" She nodded. "That's what I thought. But
obviously something has, and I don't know what did it. Or how to fix it. and
it means I can't fulfil my purpose to be the Guardian of Humanity."

I made a note in my notebook, to try to work out how that could have happened,
and how to repair the damage, if possible. And I underlined it three times,
because it was so important.

"What happened to your babies? Mattie and, er ..." "Rosetta. They grew up, you
know? They're old enough to be grandmothers now." "Do you ever see them?" "Not
since ... not for a very long time, no." "Wouldn't you like to?" She sighed,
and nodded. "Then why don't you?" She looked hard at me. "I don't want them to
see me like this." "Like what?" "Like, I cry all the time, and I can't fly,
and I look a mess. I want them to remember me as I was, in the good times,
before, before ... before he died."

I thought, Mattie and Rosetta must be about fifty now. "And what about the
other people you knew from, from back then?" She glanced around the room,
although I was guessing that she wasn't looking at anything inside the room.
"They're all fine, although Fiona is getting on a bit, she's over a hundred
years old now." "Shouldn't you go and see Fiona before, before..."

She regarded me sadly. "You all die. You all die and leave me alone. You live
for a very short time, and then you die, and there's nothing I can do about
it." She sighed. "Yes, I suppose I ought to visit Fee. She was kind of like a
mother to me. But the trouble is, if I do, it'll just make her unhappy to see
what I'm going through. Isn't it better that she remember me as I was? Well, I
suppose she would be able to handle it, but there's another problem. She'll be
going to heaven soon, and if she sees me like this, she'll tell Duncan, if he
doesn't already know, and I know what that will do to him, and I don't want to
make him unhappier than he already is. So no, I don't want to visit Fiona. And
anyway, I couldn't even if I wanted to. No travel permit"

I closed my eyes for a moment. Everything came back to the same problem.
Duncan in heaven, Wendy here. Lovers split apart with the greatest separation
possible. There was nothing I could do about the fact of Duncan's death, but
her belief that he still existed in a place called heaven, was festering in
her soul. And yes, she did have a soul, at least if anyone does, she does too.
But to her, in her mind, he is still there, but she can't reach him. And that,
I decided, was the main starting point to try to clean up this mess.

"Tomorrow is Sunday, Wendy. I want to come to church with you." She looked at
me, her head tilted to one side. "Why?" she asked. I sighed. "I want to talk
to Father McPherson; you, me and him." "About what?" "Heavy stuff," I replied,
"like life after death, and whether only humans have souls." "I already talked
with him about that." "This will be different, Wendy. I know what questions to
ask." "Oh." "And I want you in costume for the meeting, so he knows who he's
talking to." "No."

"Wendy, I want him to understand that this isn't just a hypothetical question,
that the answer is important to you." "No."

"He probably gets asked about cats, dogs and goldfish all the time. My guess
is, he just automatically gave you the answer he gives about goldfish without
actually thinking about it." "No"

"Why not?" "No"

I found it very difficult to argue with her. First, I felt very intimidated in
her presence. This was someone who could extinguish a star, never mind about
what she could do to someone like me. And she seemed to know how to dig her
heels in; by not even giving me a reason, I couldn't reason with her. And she
was using her will-weakener on me, I was starting to think that maybe it was a
pretty silly idea.

I tried a different tactic. Maybe I could appeal to vanity. "Wendy, you look
so stunning in your costume, when you changed into it just now, I felt like my
heart had skipped a beat, you were gorgeous." "No."

Damn it. I really need McPherson to take this seriously, and seeing Wendy in
costume will do more to wake him up than anything I could just say. I really
want to heal up this open wound she has about Duncan being in heaven and
needing her.

"What would Duncan want?"

At least that didn't produce an instant "no". She thought about it. And she
misted up again, and said, "I don't know. Oh David, that's the thing, I don't
know what's right with you humans any more, because I don't have my Wielder to
talk to, I don't know the right things to do or say, I have to just make it
up, and I can't get it right, and I don't understand you people, you think
differently, you're all so, so alien!"

We're alien?

I suppose she's right, I hadn't looked at it that way round before. We must
have a whole lot of stuff incomprehensible to her. She continued, "Duncan
would know what to do, he always knew what to do, he just knew, he's one of
you, but he was my Wielder, so he was also one of me, one of us, I mean he
was, oh, I can't explain it."

"You were in love."

"Yes, I suppose, how do I know? I've heard the phrase, but how can I tell if
what we felt was the same as what you people feel? And whenever I had
something difficult to understand about you humans, I could ask him, and he'd
know. And even if he didn't know, his guess would be better than mine could be
because he is one of you, so I did what he said." "What, always?" "No, of
course not always, sometimes I knew better than him, but when I didn't, he was
always there for me, even if I had to use the phone to talk to him."

I took my courage in both hands, as the saying goes, and went for it. "Well,
you can't talk to him now, and I'm not your Wielder, but I am a human, and I'm
telling you that this meeting will be a lot more productive if you wear your
costume."

She looked at me. At least I wasn't getting the instant "no" now. "I don't
want people to know that The Weapon is still here," she said. "That won't be a
problem, any meeting with a spiritual advisor like McPherson is totally
confidential. He won't tell anyone." "I don't want to start getting all those
people wanting something from me." "You won't, Wendy. No-one will know." "He
will. He'll ask me to fix the church roof or something."

I sighed. "Wendy, if he tries anything like that, I'll jump on him. OK?" She
nodded.

"I haven't worn it for so many years now." "You wore it just a few minutes
ago." "I meant, in public," "This won't be in public." "It'll feel wrong."
"Wrong? Why?"

There was a long pause. "Duncan designed it, you know. He said I ought to look
impressive. Make a statement. He said, I ought to flaunt my power." There was
another pause. "I don't feel very powerful now. I can't do the one thing I
most need to be able to do, I can't protect him. I feel totally impotent.
That's why it would feel wrong."

She could smash the moon, kill the sun. And she felt impotent? Damn, it
*always* gets back to Duncan. That's why it was so important to cut this
feeling of guilt that she was suffering from. "But he wanted you to wear it?"

Long pause. "Yes." "And we're going to be talking about heaven, and your soul,
and Duncan. So will you wear it?" Very long pause. "Yes."

I felt like I'd made a breakthrough. It wasn't the petty victory of getting
her to dress up, it was the fact that she trusted me enough to take notice of
what I said. It was the fact that she was willing to listen to me and take my
advice. "Oh, Wendy, that's great, you'll make such a good impression. Come
here, I want to kiss you."

She offered me her cheek. Oh well, a warm cheek is better than a cold
shoulder. Then she stood up. "I'm making supper," she announced, "I'll do a
curry." "I thought we'd eat out." "No, I'd like to cook for you. Duncan loved
curries, so I'm pretty good at them." There was no way I could argue with
that, except one small detail. "I don't have any rice. Or any spices." "Not a
problem," she said confidently, and made for the kitchen.