The Weapon - Apocalypse - part 5
By Diana the Valkyrie
Out on the town in Yokohama

Duncan:

Today she gets to Yokohama, she should be there right now. Then she'll suborb
home in an hour or so, we'll put the babies down and then yo ho ho. We'll have
a couple of hours before George and Felicity get here, and I know what we'll
be doing. And I've found a nice short hop for her next ship haul, just a
couple of days, Channel to Gulf, cutting out the long haul via Gibraltar,
flying a straight line overland Europe. I wonder what the air traffic
controllers think about this. I bet these ships show up well on their radar.
"Gulf Queen here, half a million tons of supertanker, requesting clearance to
land ..." Uh ... phone ...

"Hi, Duncan." "Wendy!" "Bads news, baby." "Oh no! What? You're OK? The babies
are OK?" "Yes, yes, it's nothing like that. I'm at Yokohama harbour, we're
docked and moored, and I just need them to sign the paperwork to accept
delivery. The problem is, they want to inspect the cargo before signing off.
Are they being unreasonable?" "I guess not. You might have dropped a couple of
tons or something. Actually, there's always shrinkage, the stuff evaporates
slightly." "Well, they're saying that they want to pump it out and check it's
all there." "That doesn't sound too bad." "It'll take 24 hours, they said."
"Shit." "I know." "Bugger." "I know." "Fuck fuck fuck." "Duncan, you aren't
saying anything that I haven't already said, although not in front of the
children. I'll keep you up with where we get to."

I'd guess all superheroes have this problem. How much time to you give to
other people, and how much to you keep for yourself. Bear in mind that each
minute you keep for yourself, you might have saved a life. Or, in Wendy's
case, each hour spent hauling ships was worth three babies rescued. So, how do
you justify spending an hour with someone you love, when you know that means
condemning three babies to a life of misery?

I won't pretend I know the answer to this question. But I do know that it's
tearing her apart; me too.

. . .

"Uh, Duncan?" "Yes, love?" "They're still unloading the ship; they've
suggested that I go out with them this evening, I think it's a hospitality
thing. They want to take me to a traditional Japanese inn, I think I ought to
go, there's no point in alienating them. They seem like nice guys, I don't
think they'll make improper advances." "I feel sorry for them if they do.
Sure, Wendy, you go out and paint the town red. I'll be alright here, don't
you worry about me all by myself in the house, the fireplace really does need
sweeping and I've got my broom and everything."

Wendy.self:

Fireplace? Broom? He can be pretty weird sometimes. I guess he's lonely, poor
baby. Well, if we're going out, I guess I'd better wear something suitable.
Hmm, red silk kimono with the Pretty Flamingo logo on the back, hair up in
something elaborate and complicated. High heels, they can look up several
inches at me as I totter around pretending to lose my balance. And a couple of
papoose-carriers for the babies, they'll be fine on my back. I hope Duncan
isn't upset about this, it's so difficult to know what sets him off. But I
ought to be nice to these people, they are our customers, after all.

Wendy.telecoms:

"Hi, Duncan. We're in something called a Yakitori bar, and they're plying me
with whisky, I think they're trying to get me drunk. So I'm playing along with
it, staggering a bit in these heels." "What are you wearing?" "I've made this
long red kimono, with a broad gold waistband. I put my hair up, and stuck
chopsticks in it. Nothing underneath, of course. Pretty Flamingo logo on the
back, I thought I might as well do a bit of advertising!" "Sounds yummy, I
wish I could see you." "Hang on, there's a mirror here. OK, you have email."
"Blimey. Gorgeous. But how did you do that?" "It's just pixels, Duncan,
uploaded to you as an email." "Huh. Yes, I remember Milly did that once."

"Yes, she did."

"Uh..."

"Uh."

"Are they feeding you, too?" "Yes, they keep putting little dishes in front of
me with things I don't know what they are. So I'm eating them, I guess that's
the idea?" "Yes, and tell them how delicious they are." "And they keep filling
my glass." "Don't pretend to get too drunk, love, otherwise they might get
some silly idea." "Don't worry, baby, I'm on top of it. Oops, now there's some
girl with masses of makeup on her face, and some sort of stringed instrument
singing to us." "That'll be a Geisha, they're really putting the boat out." "I
just brought the boat in." "I mean, they're entertaining you royally, Geisha
are quite expensive. Oh, she's stopped singing, and they're all looking
expectantly at me. What do I do, Duncan? Help!" "I'd guess they're expecting
you to sing." "All I know is songs for babies." "Well, tell you what, do some
magic, that'll surprise them." "OK, I'll magic a grape out of her ear. Yes,
that went well, OK, I'll do a few more tricks. And maybe she'd like to hold
one of the babies. And I'll show them the bunny game, I'll tell them it's a
British drinking game."

. .

"Duncan, what do I do, one of them just keeled over." "Drunk or ill?" "Drunk,
I'm pretty sure. Should I fly him to his home, or what?" "You don't want to do
that, he'll probably throw up as soon as the cold air hits him, which will be
a very unpleasant experience. Get him into a taxi, get the other one to tell
the taxi driver where to take him. Then put the other one in another taxi and
send him home, then fly back to the ship." "Babe, I don't know how I'd cope
without you to be my Wielder, I'll do all that." "Love you, honey." "I will
love you and protect you and obey you." "Forgive me if I'm a tad sceptical
about the obey part." "Heh"

. . .

"Morning, Duncan." "Afternoon" "Morning here. And they've finished the cargo
inspection, they say we're short by fifty thousand tons." "What? No way!" "I
know. I know what the ship plus crude weighed, and I know what it weighs now
when it's empty, and they've made a mistake. What should I do?" "Let me talk
to them." "Uh, Duncan, it might be better if I handled it, you know I can be
quite ... daunting ... when I want to be." "Wendy, you don't have the experience
for this kind of commercial dispute." "And you do?" "Well, I guess not, but
neither do you." "Yes, but when I frown at them, it's more likely to have an
effect than when you do, especially as you're not actually here." "But you're
a woman, and, well, er. Women aren't taken as seriously as men, you know what
I mean? Especially in the Japanese culture." "Duncan, I can assure you that
they will take me rather more seriously than they take any ordinary female. I
just carried a half million ton ship halfway around the world, and I'll be
sure to keep reminding them of that." "OK, OK, you win. Try to get them to do
a recount, tell them you already weighed the ship on arrival and when empty,
you think their instruments might need recalibrating or something. Don't
accuse them of dishonesty, or tell them they're wrong, it's important to save
face. Blame the instruments, then face is saved." "Sounds good, Duncan, wish
me luck. I'm going to wear a worsted pinstripe business suit, jacket and
skirt, red blouse, and I'll have the babies in a basket." "It would look
better if the babies weren't with you." "Leave them alone on the ship? No
way." "I thought you'd say that. OK, good luck, honey." "Love you, baby."

"Duncan, they aren't budging, and they're saying we have to compensate them
for the missing oil." "WHAT? That'll wipe us out!" "It'll what?" "It'll take
every penny we have, we'll have to file for bankrupcy." "What do I do?"
"Intimidate them a bit, love, you're so good at that."