Put 'em Up, Martha!
By Soxs


It's a beautiful day at the Cyberland arena. The stands are filled to 
capacity, as we await the feature match of the day. Martha Stewart will 
don the tights against an unknown opponent! We're live at Martha's 
palacial estate where a makeshift ring has been set up in her stunning 
garden. The crowd is growing anxious as we await the competitors for 
this match.  And here comes Martha gliding to ringside from her mansion! 
She's accompanied by several of her servants who are laying rose petals 
in front of her as she graciously moves down the path to the ring. She's 
adorned in a long pink robe and is smiling to the folks that have come 
to see her fight. Climbing through the ropes now, Martha moves to her 
corner and is removing the robe,revealing her attire for this match. 
She's chosen a one piece bathing suit,tights,socks,and wrestling boots, 
all pink! She looks marvelous!!!!! Hey! Who let Billy Crystal in here??? 
Anyway, she is now bouncing in her corner and waving to her fans. Her 
unknown opponent has yet to arrived. A stir has begun at the edge of the 
grounds. We think her opponent has arrived...and looking towards the 
fountains area we see...yes...a figure is approaching with an 
entourage!!! On closer inspection we see none other than.....Betty 
Crocker?????  Yes!!! It's the famous icon of American baking,fans!!!! 
Betty enters the ring and smiles at Martha who is smiling back at her! 
Betty has arrived wearing a satin white robe and on sliding it off 
reveals a pearl white outfit of a sleevless cotton top and satin boxer 
shorts! Yes,she look's elagant, to say the least! Betty has chosen pearl 
white tights, thick,white aerobics socks that she has pulled straight up 
to mid leg,along with pearl white wrestling boots. The ladies are called 
to center ring and given instructions. They are cordially greeting each 
other as the ref,who will leave the ring as soon as they get 
started,fills them in on the rules of the fight. No eye gouging 
and....well...that's the only rule!!!  This should be a heck of a 
brawl,fans!!! The ref takes his leave and the women wait in their 
corners for the opening bell. Ding!!! And here we go!!!  Betty moves to 
her right and cautiously circles her opponent...but wait!!! Martha is 
extending her hand to shake Betty's as she smiles warmly at her 
opponent!!! Betty pauses,a bewildered look on her face,but moves in to 
shake Martha's hand,smiling slightly. The women clasp their right hands 
in a warm handshake and...Martha launches a hard kick to Betty's 
stomach!!! Owww!!! That must of hurt!!! Betty keels over in a bent 
position and Martha is raising her arms...hands together...for a sledge 
hammer!! Pow!!! Right on the back of Betty's neck,she goes down like a 
ton of bricks!!! Betty is now flat out on her face as Martha moves 
around her and is now kneeling down and straddeling Betty's back!!! The 
women are at center ring and Martha has grabbed two handfuls of Betty's 
hair and is pulling it from side to side!!! This is horrendous!!!  Betty 
is crying out as Martha laughs!!!  The crowd is yelling for Betty to get 
up but she is having a rough time of it! Martha is twisting Betty's hair 
in tight grasps and insulting Betty's baking recipies!!! Betty's face 
has become red as a rose and she look's to be enraged!!!  Betty is 
getting her knees under her and has gotten to a hands and knees 
position,Martha still locked in her hair. Betty has thrust herself to 
the right and has taken Martha with her!!! The women are now scrambling 
for an advantage as they wrestle on the floor of the ring!!! Martha and 
Betty have entangled themselves together and are rolling around the 
ring!!! I can see Betty launching numerous punches to Martha's body as 
they continue to roll! Martha seems content to pull at Betty's hair as 
they roll from side to side!!! They have entwined their legs into a 
writhing battle of tights!!! Hissing sounds can be heard from the area 
of their legs as they fight on the floor of the ring!!! Betty's punches 
are having an effect on Martha who has slowed down a bit and now Betty 
has taken the top position!!! Martha has released her hair grasp and is 
trying to cover up from Betty's fistic assault!!! The baking queen is 
pummeling Martha with lefts and rights to her face and upper torso!!! 
Martha shreiks out as Betty's punches are landing with thudding sounds 
and definite damage!!! Martha has managed to squirm over to her side and 
is fumbling with one of Betty's wrestling boots! She's pulled the laces 
and untied Betty's right boot! Martha polietly informs Betty of the 
untied laces and Betty is...releasing her and rolling off the prone 
Martha to retie her laces!!! Is she kidding??? Martha is taking the time 
to regain her composure,fix her hair,slow down the bleeding,oh...no 
bleeding so far fans,and Betty is tieing her laces and adjusting her 
socks back to an upright position, they had fallen during the fight. 
Martha leaves her socks scrunched down and is ready to resume the match.  
The women move directly to each other in a straight line and lock 
up,collar and elbow at center ring! Betty and Martha are struggling 
about and have ended up in the corner! It's Martha who has Betty in the 
corner and has begun pummeling her victim with hard body shots and 
kicks!!! Betty is howling as she takes the brunt of the blows and tries 
to counter with strikes of her own. The women are fighting toe to toe 
and battering away at each other with a stunning show of guts!!! Neither 
is moving away,they are standing and fighting at close range!!! Both 
women are bruised and sweating as well as sobbing and running out of 
steam! The fight has begun to slow down with the women now clinging onto 
each other,still in the corner and they are now leaning on the ropes! 
The women have their sides against the ropes and they are clinching with 
an occasional punch being thrown! Betty has reached under Martha's legs 
and is now lifting her up and...yes...over the top rope!!! There she 
goes!!!!! Martha has been thrown from the ring,she slams into the grassy 
area below!!! Betty isn't waiting for her to re-enter the ring and has 
jumped out to continue the fight!!! Betty has pulled the stunned Martha 
to her feet and is slamming her head against the ring apron!!! Martha 
screams as her head thunks on the apron!!! Betty is now holding her 
opponent by the hair with her left hand and is now...bashing her with a 
hard right cross to the face!!! There goes Martha again!!!  She sails to 
the grass and I think she is out of it!!! Betty lowers herself onto the 
fallen Martha,sitting atop her. She's pinning her arms to her sides and 
the ref gives her the ten count! It's over!!!!  Betty Crocker has beaten 
Martha Stewart up!!!! That's all for now,folks!!!  See ya next 
time...same time...same station!!!The end