Diana's Crusade 
By Diana the Valkyrie
Diana fights Fraulein Ingrid and the evil Nazis


This is the fifteenth in the series of stories by Diana. I'd just 
like to emphasise that, although I am rather stronger than the average 
girl (or even than the average man), what follows is entirely a fantasy 
of mine. I made it up. It didn't actually happen. Valkyries are 
mythical. I think. 

My German isn't very good, so I might have the spelling and grammar 
wrong. Or maybe some Germans don't get it right, especially when they 
get excited. 



This is actually the second part of a cycle of stories covering a single 
theme (you might actually say it isn't actually the second one). Read 
the earlier ones, you'll see what I mean. This part covers what happened 
to Diana at Bayreuth. Look out for the continuation. 

If sex and violence isn't you, then don't read this. If you don't think 
that people behave like this, look at some of the old newsreels of the 
Nazi rally at Nuremburg. 



(C) Diana the Valkyrie, 1996. Email me at valkyrie@thevalkyrie.com


Recap from Diana's Prof: 

When we were in the plane, I tried to quiz Diana, to find out more about 
Siegfried, but she looked across me at Judy, as if to say "do 
something", and Judy kept me occupied until we landed. She's remarkably 
good at that. 

We all went to Diana's flat first, and she told Hassan and Kevin to take 
a walk for a few hours. Then she sat down cross-legged on the floor, 
Judy and I on the settee, and Judy held my hand, as Diana explained. I 
like holding hands with Judy, we do that a lot. I think it must be love. 
We're both acting like teenagers in love for the first time, and it's 
great. 

"You wanted to know about Siegfried. Well, Michael, it isn't what you 
thought. And Judy, I haven't given you all the details, either, I didn't 
want to while we were still in Bayreuth. So, I'll give you a summary of 
the situation, then I'll tell you what happened while you were at the 
opera. OK?" I nodded, and got a good grip on Judy's hand. 

"You thought I was enjoying a good fuck while you were at the opera, 
right?" I nodded. "No. We didn't have sex, not even once. Siegfried is 
fighting the neo-Nazis, and he wants us Valkyries to help. And I said 
yes." 

"But ... but ..." I said. 

"During the war, the Nazis tucked money away in Swiss banks, billions in 
gold, stolen from their victims. Now this money is being used to fund 
neo-Nazi groups around the world. Siegfried is a member of an 
organisation devoted to frustrating their plans. But they have no 
resources, not enough people, no cash, no government backing, nothing. I 
told him I worked in a bank. And when I explained to him that I was a 
Valkyrie, he said "Gott has sent you" and he told me the whole thing, 
and asked if I and my sisters would help him. Well, we're not actually 
sisters, but, oh Michael, Judy, you should have seen what I saw. We've 
*got* to do this. I'll tell you about it. And I agreed to help. But I 
couldn't tell you about it, not while we were in Bayreuth, you don't 
know who might be listening, or what might be bugged. Trust no-one, 
Siegfried said. They have agents and sympathisers everywhere." 

Judy nodded, she knew all that already. "Details, Diana. What were you 
doing those four days, what have you agreed to do, how will we do it, 
oh, millions of questions." 

"Right", said Diana, settling herself more comfortably. "Here's what 
happened, and what I saw and did, and what we're going to do." 

Diana: 

He really swept me off my feet. Well, of course, I rather liked being 
swept off my feet, so I helped him a bit. We danced, not just the 
bouncing up and down sort of dancing, but the hold me close and move as 
one sort of dance. Every move he made, I knew where he was going, it was 
like we were made for each other. So we danced again, and again; he kept 
telling the pianist what to play. Then I saw you guys leaving, and I 
thought, I can either go to the opera, or dance with Siegfried, and I 
can go to the opera any time. 

Eventually, the pianist insisted on leaving, so Siegfried took me to a 
night-club, where we sat and drank coffee and talked and talked. I told 
him that I worked in a bank, and he told me he was a computer 
programmer, but not just a programmer, he was "Ein systems programmer". 
Apparently, they're greatly superior to applications programmers, and 
get paid a lot less to make up for that. After I got used to his funny 
word order, he spoke excellent English. So then he asked me if I was a 
secretary or what, and don't you just hate it, Judy, when they assume 
you're a secretary. "Yes, and I hate it when they assume that nursing 
isn't a highly skilled profession. It makes me want to give them a 
suppository, just to demonstrate" said Judy. Yuck. So I explained what I 
actually do. 

"I'm a deal negotiator, I negotiate deals. Say, for example, we've got a 
client who's selling something, and the other side is buying. It all 
sounds fearfully complicated, but it all boils down to price. They want 
a low price, we want a high price, and there's an area of overlap 
between our ranges where a deal can be made. My job is to get as 
favourable a price as possible, within that area of overlap." 

"Different negotiators have different negotiating techniques, and most 
of us have more than one way we work. My way is to use sex and violence, 
domination and intimidation of the other side. I call it the Fourfold 
Way." "What do you mean, sex und violence?" said Siegfried. "I wear sexy 
clothes, but sophisticated, not tarty, a short, mid-thigh skirt, black 
nylons and a silky blouse, with no bra, because I don't really need one. 
Then I cover it all up with a long tailored jacket, and a silk scarf 
round my neck, so you can't actually see much. And at an appropriate 
time in the negotiations, I stand up and take off my jacket, and hit 
them with my sexy body." Siegfried looked at my chest, and nodded. "Ja, 
I can see how that would be a blast of sex. But violence?" "I wear a 
bullwhip round my waist, as a belt. I unwind that and put it on the 
table. The whip symbolises domination, of course, and the fact that it's 
made from a bull's penis, and worn as a woman's adornment, symbolises 
the total domination of the female over the male. They understand the 
symbolism immediately, but the nice thing about symbols, is that they 
operate below the level of the conscious mind. Putting that whip on the 
table totally undermines their male egos." Siegfried wiped his brow. 
"Ist hot in here, nein?" "Ja, ist hot, Siegfried." I smiled at him, he 
was quite sweet. "Sex and domination, you see, Siegfried. Then I show 
them what violence is all about." Siegfried mopped his brow again. 
"Ach?" 

I put my hand in my bag and felt around. I always carry a few, you never 
know when you're going to need one. I guess most people don't walk 
around carrying six inch nails. But I don't use them for fixing fences, 
I use them for fixing men. I showed him one of them, let him fondle it, 
feel its steely hardness. They really are tough, made of case-hardened 
steel, because you don't want it to bend when you hit it with a hammer, 
do you? So when he gave it back, I rolled it up in a paper napkin, that 
protects the palms against the metal, in case it breaks, and 
incidentally makes it a little easier to bend. Thumbs in the middle, 
fingers on the ends, and away we go. I handed Siegfried the napkin to 
unroll, and he gazed, aghast, at the bent six inch nail inside. Then he 
picked it up, and tried to bend it more. Of course, he couldn't. Men are 
such darlings when they get to this point, it takes them such a long 
time to accept what just happened. Sometimes I have to do two or three, 
to convince them. Sometimes I have to go further, like I had to with 
Michael, and give him a little bit of a bruise, so he knows there isn't 
any conjuring trick involved. 

"And that's the violence, Siegfried. Once you've seen me do that, your 
will turns to mush, you'll do whatever I ask you to do. Sex and 
violence, domination and intimidation. I always do well in my deals, so 
they pay me rather well. Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you 
pleased to see me?"  

He was staring at me like I was some sort of ghost. No, make that some 
sort of superhero; it wasn't fear, it was admiration. "Du bist ein 
Amazone!" he breathed. "No, Siegfried, not an amazon. I'm a Valkyrie." 
"Vas ist das?" So I explained about Valkyries, the thick bones, the two 
inch layer of muscle over our bodies, the displaced tendons, all that. 
"Ordinary men just crumble in my hands, Siegfried. Like you're going to. 
and you'll be surprised what it feels like to have sex with a woman who 
is several times as strong as you are, and can control your weak body 
with hers." Siegfried moaned. I have an unusual seduction technique, but 
it works well. Sex and violence, domination and intimidation is also a 
good way to get a man into bed, you see.  By the time I've finished 
explaining to a man why the next several hours are going to be the high 
point in his entire life, he's more than ready for me. "Das Walkyre!" he 
said. "Mein gott in himmel." "Speak English, Siegfried, I don't speak 
that much German." He looked round, left right, and stood up. "Diana, we 
must talk, immediate. This is important." It must be. He'd lost his 
erection. I looked up at him, "What's the matter, Siegfried?" "I can't 
tell you here, please Diana, you're a godsend. Please, komm mit, we must 
talk." 

I followed him out into the warm evening. He looked up and down the 
street. "We must go somewhere quiet, where there aren't any people, 
where we can't be overheard. Oh, Diana, this is just right." "Somewhere 
quiet? How about the Tivoli, the Tiergarten - at this time of night, 
it'll be deserted, right?" "Ja, because it's closed und locked." 
"Perfect, don't worry, Siegfried, I can get us in, let's go there." 

We took a taxi to the Tivoli, and he dropped us outside, looking at us 
like we were crazy, since it was closed. After he'd gone, I gave 
Siegfried my bag. "Here, hold this Siggy." The main gates were those 
wrought iron ornamental type things, with vertical bars about twenty 
centimetres apart. A small child might have just squeezed in, but German 
children are notoriously well behaved, and wouldn't dream of doing a 
thing like that. Valkyries don't always obey the rules, though. Of 
course, twenty centimetres wasn't enough for Siggy, let alone me. But 
although the bars were thick enough to stop a man from bending them, 
they wouldn't stand up to a Valkyrie for very long. So I took a bar in 
each hand, wrapped it in a paper hanky because they were a bit rough and 
rusty, and pulled. I pulled, and the bars creaked and groaned, and 
slowly moved apart. Behind me, I could hear Siggy saying "Walkyre!" We 
climbed through, and I thought, should I close them up behind me? Then I 
thought, no, we'll be leaving that way, I'll do it later. 

So we walked through the big park, past the closed rides and stalls, all 
alone in a Tivoli made for thousands, until we reached the big fountain 
in the middle. We sat down next to the pool, and I thought, now for some 
heavy snogging, and moved close to him on the bench, brushing my breast 
against his chest and resting my hand lightly on his trousers, 
scratching gently, which usually works great. But I was amazed, he took 
my hand in his, pulled it away from his genitals, and said "No, Diana, 
please, I must tell you some important things." Sigh. Come on, Siggy, 
let's get onto the main event. Hurry up. 

"Diana, you've heard of the Nazis?" "Of course, but that was fifty years 
ago, we're all friends now" and I tried to get friendly. "No, Diana, 
please, I don't know if I can stop you, please don't." So I stopped. 
Temporarily, at least. "What is it, Siggy?" "During the war, the Nazis 
looted all of Europe. They stole private property from museums, banks, 
private individuals. In the concentration camps, they killed people, and 
melted down the gold in their teeth. They stole property, then sold it 
to German industry. They charged the factories for slave labour. Diana, 
they were evil, horrible, but they made a lot of money." "It didn't do 
them any good, though. They're all dead now." 

"No, Diana, they aren't, that's the important thing. There's a new Nazi 
movement, we call them the neo-Nazis. They call themselves many things, 
different in different countries. You have them in England, for 
example." "Yes. I've heard about them, 18 something, 1 is A and 8 is H, 
AH is Adolf Hitler. But they're just nutters, Siggy, no-one takes them 
seriously, surely?" "No-one took the Nazis seriously in the 1920s, 
Diana. That was a big mistake. Because they got bankrolled by German 
industrialists, who saw them as a counter to the communists, everyone 
was so afraid of the communists then. And because they had access to all 
that money, they were able to bribe and intimidate, print propaganda, 
buy advertising space, until they became so powerful, no-one could stand 
up to them. Then they took over the German government, and started the 
war. The Rhineland, Austria, Czechoslovakia, Poland, France, Russia. 
Millions and millions got killed, in the war and in the extermination 
camps. It was awful, and it mustn't ever happen again." "But no-one's 
afraid of the communists now, the neo-Nazis don't have any money, and 
no-one's going to give them any. Why should they?" 

"It's the money the Nazis stole, Diana. They banked a lot of it in 
Switzerland, in secret accounts. And that money's being used now, used 
to fund the neo-Nazis all over the world. In England, in America, in 
Scandinavia and here in Germany, oh, Diana, it could all happen again, 
don't you see?" "But that's terrible. Why don't the civilised 
governments just confiscate the money? Then all that's left is small 
groups of nutters with outlandish beliefs, and everyone ignores them, 
they aren't really dangerous." "No, they aren't dangerous if they have 
no power, but that gold, that money is power. The governments can't do 
anything, because the Swiss banks won't disclose anything about who owns 
what, so it can't be traced. They can't force the Swiss banks to 
disgorge these funds, because they don't know what accounts, or even 
what banks." 

"Can't they trace the payments to the neo-Nazis, back-track them?" "Not 
easily. and anyway, they can't be bothered, they don't see the same 
terrible prospects, they think it's all harmless eccentricity. But 
Diana, you should see them, the hate, the lies, the swastikas, the 
pictures of Hitler, the threats, the ugliness. And they're getting 
bankrolled now, just like in Germany in the twenties." "But they could 
never take over here, or in England, or America, it isn't possible." 
"Maybe not, Diana, but suppose, just suppose that they manage to subvert 
the government in some African country, or on of the parts of former 
Yugoslavia, have you heard of the Chetniks?" "No?" "They were Croatians, 
Nazis, and they fought on the side of the Germans in the war. Their 
Nazis were worse than the German Nazis. Suppose the neo-Nazis managed to 
establish a state in part of Croatia? Is that so impossible, with all the 
confusion and fighting there? The Nazis offer law and order, the trains 
run on time, no more crime, safety and security, and people believe in 
them, they sound so convincing." 

I bit my lower lip. It sounded horrible. "Or maybe a South American 
country, one of the Latin American states, they had close ties with 
Germany, and a lot of the Nazis fled to there, like Eichmann. What if 
they mounted a putsch, and there was a Nazi state in South America?" 
"But Siggy, that's so far away, why is it important? They can't do 
anything here, can they?" Siggy took both my hands in his. "Diana, do 
you know what the Nazis did to people they didn't like? In the 
concentration camps?" I nodded. I've seen the pictures. It's the essence 
of evil. How man can do that to man, is beyond my understanding, but 
obviously they can and did. "Diana, what if they did that in some small 
South American country. So what if it's many miles away? So what?" 

He's right. They're still people, aren't they? Just because they live 
ten thousand miles away from me, doesn't mean they aren't people, just 
like the guy that lives next door. There's no difference, Siggy's right. 
"You're right, Siggy. You're right. But, but what ... I mean if the 
governments can't or won't do anything?" "Then we must, Diana. Our 
consciences tell us we must." OK, I have a conscience, too. But it 
wasn't telling me that I had to do anything about this particular 
problem. 

"I'm a member of a secret organisation, Diana. You must swear secrecy 
now, because my life would be at risk if the Nazis knew. I can't tell 
you any more until you swear." He brought a bible out of his pocket. 
"I'm not a Christian, Siggy." "Juden?" "I'm a Valkyrie, Siggy. You know? 
Wotan and Thor?" "Oh. Well what do you swear by?" 

I reached up to my hair, and pulled my Valkyrie knife out of it's 
scabbard. Siggy looked *very* surprised; I don't think women carry 
weapons where he comes from. "Ein echte Walkyre" he breathed again, 
staring at it with very big eyes. It's large enough to be classified as 
an offensive weapon, but it's also a work of art. I had it made 
specially. It's got a stainless steel blade, sharp as a needle and keen 
as mustard. The handle is solid silver, chased with brass for decoration 
and balance, and the blade is etched with runes. The runes spell out 
"Her name is Diana, meaning Huntress, and she is a Valkyrie." I got that 
from the Edda, and changed it a bit. I call it Cat's Claw, and I always 
carry it, because a Valkyrie should always carry a weapon. I told Siggy 
he mustn't touch it, the only time that Cat's Claw may touch a man is to 
draw blood, and I didn't have any Band-Aids with me. So I held Cat's 
Claw in both hands, and swore a dreadful oath, promising that I would 
never reveal what he was about to tell me, except with his permission. 

Then he told me, and I can tell you, you'll see why soon enough. "We 
call ourselves "Broderbund", the band of brothers." "That cuts me out, 
then." He didn't understand, and continued. Men! "Some of us lost 
relatives in the camps, some of us are what they regard as Untermensch, 
some of us have religious convictions, and some of us are members simply 
out of conscience." "And you, Siggy?" "Untermensch. I would be 
exterminated." I stroked his hand protectively. "Not while I'm here, you 
won't be." He smiled at me. "We stay secret, because they try to 
assassinate us whenever they find us. We try to find out their plans, 
and disrupt them. We try to find out their sources of funds, so we can 
block them. We try to stop them, whatever way we can." "Whatever way?" 
"Yes." "Any way at all?" "Yes. Have you ever read about what went on in 
Nazi Germany? Any way at all." Hmm. That's a difficult one. Do the ends 
justify the means? You have to ask this question again and again, every 
time you have to make a judgement. Fifty million people killed, untold 
misery and suffering. What terrible acts can you morally commit to stop 
that? It's not an easy issue.  Well, I know something I can do, right 
here and now. I put Cat's Claw away, and pulled Siggy toward me. "I 
think you're wonderful. What do you do, Siggy? I mean you, personally?" 

"I don't look like an Untermensch, I look completely Aryan. So I'm a 
member of the Bayreuth chapter of the World War Two Study Society, 
that's what they call themselves. The 2SS for short, you see? I go to 
the meetings, I find out what is going on, and I feed that information 
back to the Broderbund." "That sounds dangerous. If they find out, 
they'll kill you." "No they won't. It's far worse than that. They'll 
give me to Fraulein Ingrid, and she'll force me to betray all the other 
members I know of the Broderbund, unless I can find a way to kill myself 
first. So I don't know many of their real names, and I don't find out 
where the meetings are until the last minute, and lots of other security 
precautions like that." "Who's Fraulein Ingrid?" He shuddered, and 
looked down at his feet. "Please", he whispered, "don't make me think 
about her." Golly, she had him intimidated. So I put my arms around him, 
and pulled him towards me. I stroked his hair, and whispered into his 
ear "Siggy, don't be afraid. I'm a Valkyrie, I'll protect you. Don't be 
scared." He clung to me. "Oh, Diana, I have to pretend to be so cool, so 
brave, but every time I go to the 2SS meeting, and I see Fraulein 
Ingrid, I'm so scared, so frightened. She, she ..." he choked, and 
coughed. I patted his back, and hugged him gently. "Don't be scared, 
Siggy, you're doing fine." 

He pulled himself together, and faced me. "Diana, you're a blue-eyed 
blonde, they'll accept you as an Aryan. And you're a woman, they don't 
regard women as a threat." "Except Fraulein Ingrid" I said, and 
immediately wished I hadn't, because Siggy acted like a snail does when 
you touch it, he almost visibly pulled back into his shell. 

So I coaxed him out again, and got him talking. "OK, so I join, and get 
their confidence, but what do you want me to do?" "The money in the 
Swiss banks is controlled by someone, we don't know who. We call him Die 
Gelt, The Gold, but we really have no idea who or where he is, what bank 
he's using, how he sends the funds, anything. Diana, you're a banker, 
you know how banks work, you know the language they use, you'll be able 
to deal with other bankers. So you'll be able to trace back, when the 
funds get to the 2SS, what banks they came from, how they got there, and 
so on back. Until you find out which Swiss bank, and then you can find 
out who Die Gelt is." "And then what?" "Then we cut off the flow of 
money. Using whatever means it takes, Diana. Whatever it takes." You 
know, people often wonder what would have happened if Adolf Hitler had 
been killed by a shell in the Great War. Would that have spared the 
fifty million of WWII, or would his place simply have been taken by 
someone similar? Well, worry about that some other time. "Siggy, my 
impulse is to say yes, I'll help you, but this is a really big thing, 
and I'd like to spend some time thinking about it first." "Of course. Of 
course. Diana, it might help you make up your mind, there's a meeting 
with the Broderbund tomorrow. I'll take you along, you can meet some of 
the others." "Surely you're not allowed to do that. How do you know I'm 
not one of the 2SS? How do you know I wouldn't just kill every man 
present at the meeting?" 

He looked *very* nervous. "Would you?" "Siggy, what a stupid question. 
If I would, am I going to notify you ahead of time?" He shook his head. 
"Could you?" I took out Cat's Claw, tossed it in the air, and caught it. 
"What do you think?" "I think you're sex and violence, domination and 
intimidation, and you do it to every man you meet." I laughed, he was 
right. It's completely automatic, I'd have to make an effort not to. 
"Diana, this is so important to us, you're the only person who has a 
chance at succeeding in this. I think it's a risk worth taking. And I 
don't think you're in the 2SS, because you're such a nice girl." Me? 
Nice girl? Should I take that as an insult? No, he didn't mean it that 
way, I'll just let it ride. So I pulled him towards me again, and kissed 
him, and we spent the next few hours talking about history, about 
politics, about religion, and about Nazis. Then we realised it was 
getting on to midnight, so we got back to the entrance, slipped between 
the bars again, and I straightened the ones I'd bent as well as I could, 
they still looked a bit wonky, but maybe no-one would notice, or if they 
did, wouldn't know what had happened. We went back to my hotel and I 
kissed Siggy good-night. 

Michael and Judy weren't back from the opera yet, so I went to bed, and 
fell asleep. I was wakened by a pillow landing on me, and I had Cat's 
Claw out and the pillow eviscerated before I knew what was happening. 
Feathers absolutely everywhere, all over the bed, in my hair, and I even 
had some in my mouth. "Hello, guys. Good opera?" Of course, they wanted 
to know if I'd got lucky with Siegfried, and I couldn't really tell them 
anything. So I told Michael to go to bed, he seems to have learned 
obedience quite well, and he wasn't any trouble. Then I took Judy into 
the other room, and told her that I was having a great time, not to 
worry about me, and I'd be missing the opera tomorrow as well, and I'd 
tell her all about it later, maybe. She's quite a lot older than me, 
she's kind of like the mother I didn't really have. Well, I did have a 
mother, of course, and she was great, but my mother wasn't a Valkyrie, 
of course. Judy's also a bit naive, having spent her whole life trying 
to pretend that she isn't a Valkyrie, and she was only just beginning to 
enjoy herself. And she had this lovely thing going with Michael, you 
could see a mile off that they were in love. They kept touching each 
other when they thought no-one was looking. And Michael is so sweet, 
he's easily my favourite man. Not much sexually, but the most fun you 
can have with your clothes on, as they say. Although Judy seemed to be 
getting all the sex she needed from him, I expect she was using some of 
the man-extension techniques I'd showed her. 

Anyway, Judy was satisfied with this, so we changed into our nighties 
and went to bed, with Michael between us. Although after a few minutes, 
I noticed that she'd got him on top of her, and they were trying to have 
sex without waking me up, so I pretended to be asleep, and eventually 
they stopped making me jealous, horny and randy and we all fell asleep. 

The next day, the three of us acted like tourists. We even went to the 
Tivoli, which was very different in the light of day from the lonely 
dark night. As we went in, I noticed that the vertical bars on the main 
gate weren't quite straight. 

When we got back to the hotel, Judy started getting ready for the 
evening, and so did I. What do you wear to a meeting of the Broderbund? 
I'd forgotten to ask Siegfried. Do I dress formally, or casually? Jeans 
(ugh) or a skirt? I hate jeans, my legs are much too big. In the end, I 
settled for a Little Black Dress, I always look OK in that, and I 
wouldn't be overdressed if it was casual, or out of place if it was 
formal. OK, that's settled. Now the important bit - weapons. I thought, 
they'll want me to hand in my weapon, and a Valkyrie always carries a 
weapon. I could understand why they'd be a bit nervous about that. So, I 
thought, I'll carry two weapons, one to hand over, and one to keep. I 
have a leather scabbard for Cat's Claw, as well as the more flamboyant 
silver one I usually wear, and that's a lot harder to spot, and even if 
you do, you'll think it's just a hair slide. So I put my hair up in an 
upswept style, and used Cat's Claw to keep it together. Then I decorated 
the front with a silver comb, not actually silver, actually stainless 
steel, and the points of the comb are horribly sharp, you could use it 
as a saw. I call it Shark's Teeth. It seemed to frighten Michael, 
anyway. 

We all went down to the lobby, and Siggy was waiting for me there. He 
clicked his heels at Judy and Michael, and said "Guten abend, mein Frau, 
mein Herr" and offered me his arm. Don't you just love this culture? So 
they went off to see Die Walkure, and I comforted myself with the 
thought that I could see that any time, but Siggy was now or never. 

We arrived at the secret hideaway, which turned out to be a laundromat 
in the middle of the town. I suppose if you're having a secret 
conspiracy, a laundromat is a good place to meet, at that, if you use a 
different one each time. And as I expected, before they let me in, they 
insisted on taking my weapon. I explained them that if a man touches it, 
it must draw blood, and to my surprise, they seemed to understand. So I 
held Shark's Teeth and stroked the man's forearm, then gave him the 
comb, and someone bandaged it up for him. I didn't bother to tell them 
about Cat's Claw, and I think Siggy might have guessed, but he very 
wisely kept his mouth shut. 

What happened next, totally blew my mind. It's the last thing you'd 
expect in this situation, but then, I've never been part of a conspiracy 
before. Do you suppose they all swore dreadful oaths to rid humanity of 
the Nazi menace? Do you suppose they made plans to assault the bastion 
of the Nazi faith? Do you suppose they entrusted me with some deep, dark 
innermost secrets of the Broderbund? No. What those guys proceeded to 
do, was have a committee meeting. Yes! They had an agenda, they had the 
minutes of the last meeting, and what made my brain reel most, they had 
Actions, and it was *just* like in the bank, none of them had carried 
out the actions from the last meeting, and no-one seemed bothered by 
that. This wasn't a conspiracy, it was a committee! A German committee, 
at that, and it's a close thing between that and the English kind for 
utter incompetence and impotence. I guess I must have let my amazement 
show, because Siegfried looked rather sheepish. But if this lot were all 
that stood between the civilised world and the Nazi Hordes, we might as 
well start knitting our swastika armbands. 

I was agenda item fourteen, so I had plenty of time to get used to them, 
although in one sense, I already knew them very well, having attended a 
million committee meetings just like it at the bank. Actions so old, 
that even though it hadn't been done, it could be closed anyway, because 
there wasn't any point any more. I almost expected to get to an item 
"Assassinate Hitler - action, Count Staffenburg." Their hearts might 
have been in the right place, but their balls were missing. I guess they 
really did need a Valkyrie, at that. 

Plenty of time. Because like every other committee meeting, the chairman 
had no idea of how to run a committee, he let them break up into 
separate discussions, he didn't keep them to the point, he didn't stop 
them going round and round the same point again and again. The hours 
went by; they were obviously having a great time, talk being such an 
excellent substitute for action. 

Eventually we got to agenda item fourteen, and Siegfried explained my 
presence. He was speaking German, which I can just about follow, but not 
perfectly.  He explained that I was a Valkyrie, and what that meant. I 
lifted my skirt a few inches, so they could see my thighs, and smiled at 
them. Apparently, his idea was that I should join the 2SS Bayreuth, take 
Fraulein Ingrid's place (quite a few of them shuddered at that, and I 
wondered what was so special and scary about Ingrid) and take her place. 
From there, I'm supposed to find out how they got their funds, and trace 
back to Die Gelt, because I was a banker, and knew about such things. 

I didn't have the heart to disillusion them, what I know about banking 
can be written on the back of a pound note. You don't need to know 
anything about banking in order to haggle about a price. What I did 
know, is that I might just be able to discover what bank they got their 
funds from directly, but that bank wouldn't tell me how the funds got 
there, and there would be a chain of banks, each with anonymity and 
privacy rules, and probably at some stage the chain would be broken by a 
courier taking some bearer bond or gold certificate from one place to 
another, and no chance of tracing that back unless you interrogated the 
courier. The sort of money that Die Gelt had, would guarantee his safety 
and security. But I didn't disillusion them, there didn't seem to be any 
point. They wanted to do the Right Thing, but didn't have the foggiest 
idea how. It's such a shame. Maybe I could come up with something - they 
certainly wouldn't. 

So at the end of Agenda Item Fourteen, they took a vote, and they voted 
that I should do as Siegfried suggested, and bless them, they thought 
that their vote actually meant something. And they wrote it down in the 
minutes, and there was an action on me. And my eyes misted up. They 
were trying so hard, these undercover committeemen, trying to do the 
right thing, without the faintest idea of how. If that was the kind of 
opposition the Nazis had faced in the 1920s, I could see how they'd 
succeeded so easily. Talk about licensed to shovel paper around, if 007 
saw this lot, he'd swear off secret agenting for life. But it wasn't 
their fault, they were just nice guys trying to do the right thing. So I 
thought, maybe I'll help them a bit more. 

"There's a few of us who are Valkyries. With your permission, I'll get 
them involved, too." Siggy looked at me, his eyebrows almost lifting 
into orbit. "More?" I nodded, thinking of Hilde, Freya and Judy. And 
maybe even Vicky, she'd be ideal for this sort of thing. "Who?" they 
asked? "Best if you don't know", I said. I can just see this lot holding 
out under torture - threaten to give them their tea half an hour late, 
and they'd crack wide open. It's a hard world, and sometimes when the 
tea does arrive, it's lukewarm. 

Well, the committee meeting prattled on and on and on, until eventually, 
round about four in the morning, they'd got through the whole agenda, 
and were on to "Any Other Business". And then, of course, each of them 
had their own little point they wanted to bring up; the wording on a 
leaflet, a report from some village no-one has heard of, that sort of 
thing. You know? I expect you've had a bellyful of that sort of meeting, 
you just don't expect it in an underground anti-Nazi conspiracy. Dawn 
the rosy fingered was just making her presence felt over Bayreuth when 
we finally escaped from the clutches of the bureaucrats, and it was 
about seven in the morning, so I suggested breakfast to Siegfried. Don't 
get me wrong, I'm not a greedy pig or anything like that, it's just that 
I have to eat a lot, because my body burns a lot of calories, and I get 
terribly hungry, three times a day. The other Valkyries have exactly the 
same thing, and none of us are fat. Michael says it's because of our 
metabolism, but I don't care what the reason is, all I know is, I get 
hungry a lot, and I eat so much that people stare sometimes. Anyway, my 
stomach thought my throat had been cut, and was demanding food. In fact, 
it was being quite specific, it was demanding sausages, eggs, bacon, 
mushrooms - the list was quite long, and I'm sure you get the general 
idea. 

So we got another cab, and drove round Bayreuth until we found a 
transport cafe that was open, and there we spent the next three hours. 
Not just eating, though. We were at the back talking. Or rather, 
arguing. Because I saw absolutely no point in putting myself out so that 
I could become a minute on the agenda of next month's meeting. 

"Diana, you *must* help us! Only we can save the world from the Nazi 
menace." "You must be mad, Siegfried. That lot couldn't save sixpence 
for a rainy day, let alone the world. All they know about is minutes and 
agendas, reports and actions, *and* they never carry out the actions, 
just like all other committees I've ever seen. They have no conception 
of getting off your bum and actually doing something." Siegfried went 
quiet. I think he already knew that. "But the Broderbund is all we have, 
don't you see? And once, long ago, it wasn't like that. We were young, 
full of piss and vinegar. We'd raid the 2SS, and trash their offices, 
break up their meetings, stuff like that. Then Fraulein Ingrid came 
along, and, oh Diana, it isn't as simple as you think. Yes, I know 
they've lost heart, so would you, if you'd ..." "If I'd what?" He shook 
his head. "If you'd seen ... It's no use, you wouldn't believe me. 
Please, can I ask just one more thing of you, then. Please?" I sighed. 
"Yes, Siggy?" "Tomorrow there's a meeting of the 2SS, and I'm attending. 
Could I bring you as a possible new recruit? You can make your own mind 
up then, when you've seen them." 

I looked up from my fingernails. "Do you have a copy of the agenda, and 
last meeting's minutes?" I asked, wickedly. "No, Diana, unfortunately, 
they aren't like that. I wish they were. No, the 2SS is a very different 
can of fish." "Kettle of fish, can of worms." "Whatever." Well, I 
suppose I owed him that much, having gotten his hopes up. And thinking 
about it, the fact that I'd get no help from the Broderbund wasn't that 
important, since I hadn't been counting on any in the first place. OK, 
let's see these kids playing at being Nazis. 

By the time I got back to the hotel, it was noon. I hadn't slept much 
that night, and Valkyries need sleep too, you know. But there was a more 
urgent need. Breakfast hadn't really stuck to my ribs, they hadn't given 
me anything of substance, just cereal and cheese. So I went out with 
Judy and Michael to an eat-all-you-can emporium, my favourite, and I 
ate-all-I-could, which is a lot. I'm persona non grata at all the 
similar places round where I live. Then we went back to the hotel, and I 
crashed out, kapow, exhausted. 

I didn't tell Judy where I was going the next day, but I did tell her I 
wanted to look a knock-out. And I asked her if I could borrow her long 
satin evening dress, powder blue, strapless, backless - practically 
topless. Unfortunately, although my breasts are entirely adequate, 
Judy's are rather more than adequate, and we had to make some running 
adjustments to make it fit. Not knowing what I'd be facing, I really 
wanted Man-Beater round my waist, it's such a comforting feeling. But 
they talked me out of it, and I have to admit, a bullwhip doesn't look 
right with a long satin evening dress. But I gave Cat's Claw a bit of a 
sharpen before tucking her into her holder, and that made me feel 
better. Siegfried picked me up in the lobby again, and off we went. 

This time, we went in his car, and our destination was some sort of 
hunting lodge or hotel out in the forests near Bayreuth. There were lots 
of other cars in the car park, and people buzzing around wearing their 
glad rags. 

As I walked in to the reception area, I felt icy fingers on my spine, 
you know that sensation? The reason was that it was a perfectly normal 
looking hotel, and at the entrance there was a big banner saying 
"Welcome to the World War 2 Study Society". By the side of it, were big 
posters, saying WW2 SS, except the SS looked like double lightning 
bolts, and I've seen enough old war films to know what that means. As we 
walked in there were huge swastika flags hanging from ceiling to floor, 
and slap bang in the middle, a massive picture of Der Fuhrer, Adolf 
Hitler. These guys were serious. And you had to duck under the picture 
to enter the main hall, where the action seemed to be; it was like 
bowing to the dead dictator. Well, if you've played DOOM, you maybe know 
what this all looks like. I can tell you, though, a game is one thing, 
but being confronted with that lot in real life, is something else 
again. 

When we got into the hall, some sort of beer-drinking game was in 
progress, there were rows and rows of tables, with hundreds and hundreds 
of beefy looking men wearing black shirts (and a few women, hardly any) 
sitting with immense steins in their hands. And the Braumeister, dressed 
in military uniform and jackboots was counting them up "Ein, zwei, drei" 
and they'd drink most of their beer, and then "Ein, zwei, drei" again, 
and on the count of three, all the beer steins would crash to the table. 
And then they'd sing some song about a guy called Horst Wessel. 

I have to say, it was about as sinister as a booze-up in a brewery. 
Hundreds of fat jolly blokes getting mildly sozzled on beer, singing 
songs, and having a good time, and I told Siegfried so. "Better than 
agendas and minutes, eh?" I said, and picked up a beer stein from a 
passing Braufrau. But after a while, the Braumeister called for silence, 
and four men struggled on with some sort of frame, that they put up on 
stage. It was two vertical bars, supporting a horizontal bar that was 
maybe six feet long, and held maybe seven or eight feet above the 
ground. The audience watched in silence as they built this contraption, 
it seemed to be very solid, as if it was designed to take a lot of 
weight. And as I looked around, I saw they laughter was gone, no-one was 
drinking, and the atmosphere had turned serious. Then the Braumeister 
announced "Fraulein Ingrid", and the men broke into a frenzy of banging 
their fists and beer mugs on the table. In the middle of this reception, 
she walked on to the stage. 

She was pretty, with long blonde hair that she wore piled on top of her 
head in a coil, adding to her height which I guessed might be about 
five-ten or eleven. Her high heels gave her another four or five inches, 
and I thought they'd chosen the Braumeister deliberately to be small, 
and so make her look taller by comparison. Next to him, she looked like 
a giantess of a woman, and I guessed he must be well under five feet, 
although I hadn't realised that before. 

She was wearing a military-type tailored jacket, and underneath that a 
white blouse which was obviously very well filled, buttoned up to her 
neck, tucked into a severe calf-length black skirt, very full, she 
swished it as she walked on. Underneath the skirt, were long leather 
jackboots with high heels, and I immediately wondered what I'd look like 
in boots like that. I like to look intimidating, it's sexier. She walked 
up to the steel bar, and reached up to grip it with both hands. Of 
course, that made her breasts swell up and stand out, and I saw a few of 
the men round me suck in their breath and glance at each other, and 
grin. I couldn't believe she was about to do a gymnastic display, and 
indeed she wasn't. "Commenze", she commanded. 

A man in a black shirt was led on - he was wearing a blindfold. The 
Braumeister took a sheet of paper from the prisoner's escort, and read 
out the charges. Siegfried translated for me, he'd been caught with his 
fingers in the till, I gather, and he was about to be punished. They 
took off his blindfold, and turned him to face Ingrid. She gripped the 
bar with both hands, then slowly raised her legs until they were 
straight out, parallel to the ground. Then she slowly spread them apart, 
and her skirt draped down between them, leaving her legs naked apart 
from the calf length boots, and the skirt covering her crotch. Even at 
this distance I could see that her legs were extremely thick and heavy, 
but she seemed to have no trouble keeping them up in the air, spread 
apart, pointing to the audience. "Kommen zie hier", she said to the 
prisoner, and the escorts had to prod him forward, and then slowly, 
reluctantly, he walked towards her. "Mein liebling", she said, quietly, 
but a microphone picked up her voice and amplified it all round the 
room. The men at the tables were completely silent. "Kommen zie" she 
repeated, and he walked into the vee of her legs. 

At that point, I could see that she was a lot taller than he was, and 
suddenly, the whole scale of the tableau changed. The Braumeister wasn't 
five feet tall, he was about the same height as the prisoner, normal 
height, maybe six foot? Which mean that Fraulein Ingrid must be, my god, 
she couldn't be! If that was right, she'd have to be seven feet tall, 
and those thick legs, golly. No wonder all the men here were in awe of 
her. "Kommen, kommen" she said, seductively. Then, as he got close 
"Kussen mier". Obediently, he came close to kiss her, and as he did so, 
she brought her legs together. Except that his body was in the way. 

I've never, ever done that to a man, but if I wanted to really hurt 
someone, I'd wrap my legs round him, link my ankles and straighten my 
legs. She didn't do that. She didn't link her ankles, she just brought 
her legs together. And now I could compare the size of her thighs with 
his body, and each thigh looked bigger than his chest. The microphone 
picked up his voice now. "Nein, nein, Fraulein." He was begging her not 
to do this, but it was obvious that there was no mercy here. She shifted 
her grip on the bar above her head slightly, and her feet slowly moved 
closer to each other. He was babbling now, promising never to do 
anything bad again, promising to give her his oath, his allegiance, 
anything. But still her legs slowly moved together, like a machine. 

And then she kissed him. At first, I could see him struggling, but her 
mouth covered his, and then his body stiffened, then jerked, then was 
still. The audience was dead silent, his voice was muffled by hers, and 
the only noises were the crack-crackle as his ribs broke. After several 
seconds of that deadly kiss, she opened her legs again, and he slumped 
to the floor. Then she lowered her legs to the floor, released the bar 
and stood over him. The prisoner escort returned, and helped him to 
stand up again, he was obviously in very great pain, but at least he was 
still alive. Fraulein Ingrid reached out with one hand, and gripped him 
by the front of the neck. "You'll be a good boy now, won't you?" He was 
too far gone to answer, and the escort helped him away. And yes, I could 
see that she towered several inches over the tallest man in the escort, 
she *had* to be seven feet tall. 

The audience went wild - clapping, stamping and banging on the tables. 
She smiled at them and returned to the frame. She held up a hand for 
silence, and asked "Would any man here like to kiss me?" Nobody spoke, 
nobody moved. She smiled again, reached up and resumed her position. The 
escort brought on the next victim, and the Braumeister read out his 
offence. This one had seen the fate of his predecessor, and wouldn't 
move towards her. The escort pushed him, but he simply went limp in 
their hands. He wasn't going to stand between those deadly legs to be 
crushed. She strolled over to where he crouched on the ground. "Either 
you will stand up and kiss my lips, or you can stay down and kiss my 
thighs." I looked over to Siegfried, and he explained. "She is 
threatening to put his head between those steel pillars, if she does, 
his skull will burst from the pressure. She's done that before. They 
usually stand up." That's exactly what he did, and she took his hand and 
led him to stand at her frame. Then she reached up and held the bar. 

She raised one leg as high as his waist, then the other. Then she 
laughed, and told him to turn round. When he did, we could all see why 
she'd been amused - he'd wet himself. "Turn back, and put your hands 
under my skirt." He obediently did as he was told. "Now lift my skirt 
and stroke me there." His will was completely broken by now, he did as 
she ordered. "Harder, faster" she said, and she closed her eyes. I could 
see that her legs had moved, she was now gripping him lightly between 
them. "More, more" she said, and I could hear the excitement in her 
voice. "Please, please don't hurt me" the man begged. Her eyes closed, 
and she was smiling. "Now, bring me to orgasm" "No, please" he moaned in 
terror, but he did as she dictated. His hands moved harder, faster, and 
her legs came closer together. She started to sing, and her voice 
mingled with his groans, louder and louder until she was drowning out 
his cries of pain. Then she arched her back and lifted herself high off 
the ground; his body was trapped between her thighs and raised into the 
air. There was a scream, then I heard two screams, then everything went 
still. 

She opened her eyes, and lowered herself down from the bar. Then she 
released the man between her legs, and he fell to the ground in a heap. 
Her legs slowly sank down to the floor and took her weight, and she 
yawned and stretched, showing off that magnificent body. The audience 
went wild again - whistling, stamping and banging on the tables as hard 
as they could. She smiled at them and held up a hand for silence, and 
asked "Would any man here like to give me an orgasm?" Each man looked at 
his neighbour. It was clear that they all wanted to, but feared her 
power. Nobody spoke, nobody moved. 

They carried her victim off, and she came to the front of the stage, and 
spoke to the crowd. "That's what happens to traitors. That's what 
happens to weaklings. That's how we purify ourselves, make ourselves 
ready for the struggle to come. Because our struggle will end in 
victory! Cheer for Victory! Cheer for Victory! Cheer for Victory!" And 
the crowd echoed her words "Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!" She raised 
both her arms, and the audience stood up and each man present, Siegfried 
included, raised one arm in salute. I did the same, you don't want to be 
different in a place like that. 

She silenced the audience again, and they hushed immediately. "Who are 
we?" "Der Volk" responded the audience "And who is the enemy?" she said. 
This was obviously a well-practised catechism. "Der Untermensch" chanted 
the audience. The Undermen. "And what will we do to the Untermensch?" 
"Exterminate. Exterminate. Exterminate." And they broke out into "Sieg 
Heil! Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!" again. 

It was hard to keep a straight face. I couldn't help thinking of Daleks, 
that race of superior being, the regular foes of Dr Who, whose inability 
to climb stairs didn't stand in the way of ruling the universe. But 
these guys were deadly serious, and I don't think they were being 
metaphorical when they talked about death to the Untermensch. I looked 
at Siegfried, but he was watching Fraulein Ingrid, and he looked like he 
was regarding her with the same admiration as any other man there. 

She turned her back on the audience, and for the first time, I had a 
chance to see how broad her body really was. She wasn't just tall, she 
was wide, deep, big in every dimension. I guess that she'd have two 
problems walking through doors; she was very obviously several inches 
too high for the standard six foot three inch door, and would have to 
duck deeply to get through. But it also looked to me as if she'd be too 
wide to get through. I wondered if she went through doors sideways. If 
so, how did she duck? 

She went back to the metal frame, but this time she didn't reach up to 
the bar again, she just stood there waiting. "What do you want now?" she 
said to the audience. They knew exactly what they wanted. "Der 
Untermensch. Der Untermensch. Der Untermensch." they chanted. She 
smiled, they knew their catechism well. 

The guards returned with a man, his arms handcuffed behind him with 
steel manacles. The audience chanted quietly, rubbing their glasses in 
circles on the table, making a sound like water on shingle. "Der 
Untermensch. Der Untermensch. Der Untermensch." She walked towards him, 
behind him. She took his wrists in her hands and pulled them apart, 
breaking the chain that linked them. Now he was free of the handcuffs, 
but in a much more terrible captivity, he was in Fraulein Ingrid's 
hands. She held one of his hands, and like you might lead a lover to 
bed, she led him to her metal frame. He followed her without struggling. 
I asked Siegfried for an explanation. 

"That's one of the Untermensch." "What's an Untermensch?" "An Underman, 
one of inferior race." "Yes, I know that, but what is he?" "I don't 
know, Diana. I don't know how they decide who is of an inferior race. I 
know it's good if you have blue eyes and blond hair like you and me, and 
the darker you are, the worse it is, but apart from that, I don't know. 
I think it's anyone they decide they don't like, for whatever reason." 
"He doesn't seem to be afraid, is he drugged or what?" "No, he isn't 
drugged. He doesn't know what's going to happen. He's been told that 
he's going to participate in a little drama, then he'll be set free. The 
others, they were 2SS people, they knew what she does to men. But this 
guy, he hasn't a clue." 

She stood under the bar, facing him. She pulled him towards her, their 
height difference making him look like a child in her arms. His head was 
lost between her breasts, her arms round his body hid him almost 
completely. Then she turned him to face the audience, reached up to grip 
the bar with her hands, and in a single slow but fluid motion, brought 
her legs up and settled them firmly round his waist, linking her ankles 
together. 

The audience moaned, and the Braumeister picked up the microphone. "We 
will now crack the nut." A few men giggled, nervously. "Ein" They rubbed 
their glasses on the tables, the sound like the wind over grass. "Zwei" 
They rubbed harder and faster, the sound like the sound of the sea. 
"Drei" Again, the glasses rubbed on the table tops, making a noise like 
an airplane taking off. "Drink" The men lifted their glasses and began 
to drain them. And at the same time, Fraulein Ingrid tensed those huge 
quadriceps around the Untermensch's waist, which gave way immediately 
under the immense pressure that she could exert with her ankles linked. 
He jerked back, forward, then blood began to pour from his mouth from 
his destroyed internal organs. The blood spurted onto her jackboots in a 
great gush, blood then vomit, then more blood. Soon, the flow stopped 
and he was still. She opened her legs, and his misshapen body fell to 
the floor. She stood over him for a second, looking down scornfully, 
then stepped forward to the edge of the stage to address the crowd 
again. 

"Blood!" The audience repeated her word. "Steel!" "Steel" they responded 
"Blood and steel!" The audience echoed the phrase. "Steel and blood, the 
steel of our muscles, the blood of our enemies bodies. We will remake 
the world in blood and steel, in steel and blood." The audience was 
cheering insanely. "Steel and blood will give us Victory." "Sieg Heil!" 

She looked down at her feet. "There is blood on my boots. Who will clean 
my boots?" Every man present stood up and volunteered, Siegfried 
included. She chose two men from near the front, and they proudly strode 
forward, and climbed up on to the stage, and knelt down to lick the 
blood from her boots. Meanwhile, the guards carried the corpse away, and 
four men with mops and buckets wiped up the mess. And while all this was 
going on, she addressed the crowd. 

I shan't bother to repeat what she said. It was the same message again 
and again, hate and death, blood and steel. The audience was cheering 
her on, the Braufraus were refilling their glasses. After a few minutes, 
everything was ready for the next victim. Another Untermensch, and 
honestly, he looked to me to be exactly the same as the men around me. 
Did his ears stick out further? Was his nose longer? Shorter? Was it 
because he had long hair? How did they decide? 

This one knew that he was doomed, and he knew that there was nothing he 
could do about it. The audience booed him, and taunted him. 
"Untermensch! Untermensch! Untermensch!" they yelled, plus crude sexual 
insults, as he was dragged on by the guards. They put a high stool by 
the front of the stage, and rested his chest on that. He wasn't tied 
down, but he knew that escape was hopeless, so he just waited passively 
for his fate. 

Eventually, Fraulein Ingrid finished haranguing the crowd, and they were 
in a frenzy of blood lust, demanding "Death for the Untermensch." They 
banged their glasses on the table in unison, chanting "Todt! Todt! 
Todt!" Then she turned to her next victim, bent over the stool, his head 
hanging down, the top of his head towards the audience. She straddled 
his head, one of those huge thighs on either side, covering his ears. 
You could just see the top of his head; her thighs were huge, but so 
hard that his head didn't make any impression on them. Her feet were 
about a yard apart, to make room for his head between her legs. The 
microphone near his head picked up a high moaning, keening noise, the 
sound of a terrified rabbit. And then they started to count. 

"Ein" and the glasses started rubbing in circles on the tables. "Zwei" 
and the noise became louder. "Drei", and the sound of the glasses 
swelled to a loud rushing noise. "Drink" cried the Braumeister, and the 
glasses were raised to lips, but just as that happened, Fraulein Ingrid 
brought her feet together and tensed the muscles of her legs. There was 
a loud "CRAAACK" as the victim's skull burst, and blood and brains 
sprayed out over the nearest drinkers. Rather a lot of blood. An awful 
lot of blood, as his heart continued to pump for a little while, trying 
to maintain the blood pressure in his burst head. 

I looked around, and although one or two of the men seemed nauseated, 
the great majority were grinning and drinking down their beer steins, 
draining them to the bottom. Siegfried was drinking, I couldn't see his 
face. Then the Braufraus circulated again with their great trays of 
litres of beer, replacing the empty glasses. 

"Blood!" Her shout was amplified by the sound system, and rang round the 
hall. The audience echoed her shout. "Steel". The crowd parroted her 
cry. "Death" again the cry went ringing round. "Victory" and again they 
went off into the "Sieg Heil" routine. You'd think they'd be bored with 
it by now. She led them in another round of chanting, blood, steel, 
death and victory, and then she called for quiet again. "The gore of our 
enemies is on my thighs. Who will clean it off?" There was almost a riot 
as blood-crazed neo-Nazis rushed up to the front of the stage, their 
hands in the air. She chose two of them, gripped their wrists in her 
hands, and lifted them both up on stage. She lifted them straight up 
into the air, and dropped them in front of her. Then she raised her 
skirt, parted her legs, and they licked off the blood and brains of the 
unfortunate dead man. And while they cleaned her thighs, she whipped up 
the audience to new frenzies of hatred and excitement. 

"They are too weak to live. We must purge them from our midst, the 
weaklings and the half-men, the Untermensch. The don't deserve to live, 
they're taking our Lebensraum, our jobs, our food, corrupting our 
children, destroying our economy from within. We must make ourselves 
clean and pure, noble and fine." Clean? She thought that what she'd just 
done was noble and fine? 

She looked down at the two men licking her thighs. She kicked them, not 
hard enough to injure them, but enough to send them flying off the 
stage, landing on the floor below, among the crowd. They were helped up 
and given foaming glasses of beer to revive them, clapped on the back, 
they were obviously regarded as being very lucky men indeed, being 
permitted to lick the thighs of Fraulein Ingrid. 

Then the Braumeister called for silence again, and beckoned off stage 
for the next victim, another Untermensch. This one didn't know what had 
happened to his predecessors. All he knew, was that a gorgeous giantess 
was waiting for him, speaking affectionate endearments to him. He was 
naked, and I could see that he had a lovely body, well muscled and firm, 
and he was hung like a horse. As he walked towards her, he began to 
display a large erection. Siegfried whispered to me "He performs at one 
of the more decadent night clubs in the red light area. He thinks he's 
here to give his usual performance." 

Fraulein Ingrid beckoned him towards her. When he was a couple of meters 
away (and the tip of his penis was a lot closer), she held out her hand 
to stop him. She slowly unwrapped her long skirt from around her waist, 
and tossed it to the ground, then ripped off her blouse, revealing very 
large, prominent breasts that stood almost straight out from her body. 
The man wanted to move to her, but she held him off with one hand as she 
reached up with her other hand and unpinned her hair, which cascaded 
down her back. She looked very beautiful, and if she'd been a couple of 
feet shorter, she'd have been cute. Then she let him move towards her, 
until the tip of his large erect penis rested against her thighs. She 
put her hands under his arms, and lifted him easily until his head was 
level with hers; then his penis was touching her belly. She brought him 
close to her face, and kissed him slowly, then held him away from her 
body, and tossed him a few inches into the air, spinning him round so 
that when she caught him again, he had his back to her, her arms round 
his waist, and that immense erection was facing the audience. 

"Shall I crack the nut?" she asked the crowd. "Ja" came back the mighty 
roar. "Ja, ja, ja". She looked over to the Braumeister. "Eins". The 
glasses rubbed on the table. "Zwei", and the sound was much louder now. 
"Drei" and again the sound of the glasses on the table. "Drink". The 
glasses were raised to mouths, and beer flowed down hundreds of throats. 

I could see her muscles flex, tightening her grip round his body. The 
first thing that happened, was his erection drooped and shrivelled. Then 
he vomited. Then he lost control of his bladder, and urinated over the 
front of the stage. Then blood, blood from his mouth, at first a 
trickle, but then a great gush as her arms tightened round his abdomen, 
destroying all his internal organs, rupturing veins and arteries, 
collapsing his body until with a final spurt of crimson, he lay limp in 
her arms. Then she simply dropped him, and raised her arms over her head 
"Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil! Sieg Heil!" the audience went wild, and she 
walked off. 

We didn't see Fraulein Ingrid again - the rest of the evening was 
drinking and singing, and by golly those guys loved to sing. But I 
whispered to Siegfried that I wanted to pick one of these guys up and 
ask him some questions, and he should go home without me. "But what 
about you, Diana?" "Don't worry, Siggy. I can take care of myself." He 
nodded. "I know. Please be careful, Diana." "Siggy, I want you to 
pretend to be drunk. Just give me a few minutes, then start acting 
inebriated - visit the toilet." 

Siegfried was great. He spilled some beer down himself for the smell, 
slurred his words, and staggered when he got up, nearly falling over, 
and said something that the others laughed very loud at, so it must have 
been crude. I pretended to be disgusted, and as soon as he'd gone, I got 
up and moved to another table across the room. "My companion is very 
drunk. Do you mind if I join you?" They shoved up to make room for me, 
and one of them said "You are English, yes?" "Yes, I am. My name is 
Valerie, Valerie Stokes." Well, I couldn't give them my real name, could 
I? "Willkomen, Walerie" said another, and they summoned the Braufrau for 
a glass of ale for me. 

"You are new to our little club, Ja" said one of them. "Ja, I mean, yes, 
I am." "Und what do you think of Fraulein Ingrid?" "Impressive, very 
impressive" I said. And I wasn't lying. I'd hate to bump into her on a 
dark night. "She knows how to use her legs," said another, and they all 
guffawed. "Fraulein Ingrid" said another, raising his glass, and they 
all drank to Fraulein Ingrid, including me, of course. 

"My escort is drunk", I explained, "and I need a big strong man to take 
me home after the evening." They talked among themselves for a while, 
and I gathered that most of them had wives waiting for them. But then I 
stood up, put my hands up to my hair and stretched, the satin evening 
gown outlining my breasts nicely, and suddenly there were eleven 
volunteers. I chose the one who spoke the best English, and we went 
outside to his car. "Where to?" he said. "Hermann, somewhere we can be 
alone," I said. 

He thought for a moment, then said "I know a place, my friend has an 
apartment that he isn't using, we could go there." "Perfect", I said, 
and relaxed back into the car and closed my eyes. 

We got there, and he let us in with a key that he took from a ledge high 
up on the wall. Inside, he turned on the lights "I want to get a good 
look at you." He grinned - he liked what he saw, I look pretty good in a 
strapless backless satin evening dress. I didn't care much for what I 
saw, though. He was going bald, he was badly overweight, his breath 
smelled, and he liked watching Untermensch getting killed. Never mind, I 
wasn't here to enjoy myself. We went to the bedroom, and fucked. I 
didn't enjoy it much, but he did, especially the second time. He quite 
liked the third time also, but by the time I got to the fifth, he was 
begging me to stop. "Let's talk", I said. Men are usually pretty 
talkative after the fifth. 

"Tell me about Fraulein Ingrid". "Oh, she ist wunderbar, sie schon" 
"Speak English" "She is an Amazon, so big, so strong, so ruthless." A 
Valkyrie can be pretty wicked too, but I didn't tell him that. "She is 
two meters, sixteen centimetres, 185 kilos. And it is all muscle, she is 
like steel. No man can stand up to her. She is the Uberfrau, the 
Superwoman." 

I did a conversion in my head. Seven foot one. Wow! And 185, that's a 
familiar number, I'm about that, but in pounds. Ingrid was over 400 
pounds, none of it fat. "She can kill a man with one hand round his 
throat, she can tear off a man's arm, she can twist a man's head right 
round in a circle." "And has she done that?" "Oh yes, she gives us a 
demonstration at each meeting we have, she's glorious, she's our Amazon, 
our Fuhrer." Fuhrer. Yes. I've heard that one before, too. "Where did 
she come from?" 

"I don't know", said Hermann. "I've been a member of the 2SS for many 
years, back in the days when it was just a club for people interested in 
the old days. We would drink the good beer, and sing the old songs, and 
the younger ones would dance a little. And sometimes we would have a 
lecture on military tactics. I was a member of the committee in those 
days. It was fun, but nothing much happened, we weren't really going 
anywhere." 

A drinking club. The 2SS was a drinking club, you find them all over 
Germany - hell, you find them all over the world. A place for men to go 
and get slightly drunk, away from their domestic troubles, where the 
wife can't find them and ask them to fix the washing machine.  And a 
committee. Is the world made up entirely of committees? "So what 
happened?" 

"One day, Fraulein Ingrid walked in to our meeting. She's so big, so 
tall, everyone stopped talking to look at her. She told us we should be 
ashamed of ourselves, talking and doing nothing while the mischlings 
took over the world." "Mischling?" "Half and half, you know? The 
mongrels, the half-breeds. The ones who have some true blood, but 
diluted with Untermensch blood. Because the sub-humans are to stupid to 
do anything except work, so the mischlings are the most dangerous." He 
really believed this gibberish, too. 

"So then someone stood up and called her a stupid bitch, get back to the 
kitchen. He said 'I'm one of your half-breeds, and you're offending me.' 
She walked up to him; she must have been fifty centimetres taller than 
he was. She bent over and picked him up, her arms around his chest, and 
she simply crushed him until his ribs broke. Then she threw him across 
the room, he must have flown ten meters, and she said to the rest of the 
room, 'Anyone else want to call me a bitch?' Of course, we all kept 
silent, none of us wanted to feel her arms round us. But several men 
walked over to her, and looked up into her eyes, and said 'Tell us what 
we must do.' 

"At first, the Society was divided, between the followers of Ingrid and 
the rest of us. They started dressing in black shirts and boots, and 
they would march and drill each week, using wooden rifles. But at each 
meeting, Fraulein Ingrid would be there, surrounded by her followers, 
and they would bring to her anyone they didn't like, and she would 
punish them. This would often mean tearing off their trousers and giving 
them a spanking, and that was incredibly painful, because her hands are 
heavy and hard. It was also round about then that she started the leg 
punishment. She would sit on a chair and a man would be forced to stand 
between her legs while she brought them together. No man was ever able 
to stand for very long." 

"Then there was the Annual General Meeting, and the vote for the new 
committee. Many of the Blackshirts stood for office, and the others 
intimidated the ordinary members to vote for them. They got a majority 
on the committee, and then they changed the rules of the Society, so 
that now the committee meets only to confirm the decisions already made. 
One of the first changes was to confirm Fraulein Ingrid as absolute 
leader, our Fuhrer." 

This sounded very like the way that the Nazi party came to power in 
Germany in the twenties and thirties. "What about the people who didn't 
like the new rules?" "Oh, everybody liked them. You see, the committee 
was hopeless, they were never able to agree on anything. Ingrid got 
things done, she made things happen. She organised military drill, and 
bonfire nights, and she made sure that anyone who broke the rules was 
punished. Rules are very important, you know." I nodded. I don't tend to 
take much notice of rules myself, but I know lots of people think 
they're important. "She brought discipline to the Society, and we'd 
needed that. Her discipline is very strict, so everyone obeys orders 
now. We know where we are, you see, we know our place, and that's 
wonderful." 

"What about the murders?" I asked. "What murders?" Hermann said, with a 
puzzled look. "Three men were murdered this evening." "Oh that!" Hermann 
said with relief. "No, those weren't murders. They were Untermensch, not 
much more than animals. And they were killed quite quickly, Ingrid 
doesn't cause any unnecessary suffering. But you must agree, she 
provides great entertainment!" 

Yes. That's how it's done. You define a group of people as being sub-
human, then it's all right to torture and kill them. It's done all over 
the world, not just by the Nazis. 

Now at that point, I could have quietly killed Hermann; he was at least 
an accessory to murder, and possibly more. But Valkyries don't kill men, 
in fact I've got a very strong aversion to even hurting the lovely 
darlings. While I was thinking, Hermann was burbling on about the time 
he'd been permitted to lick her boots "A great honour" he said, and 
something that gave him pleasure in the memory even now. Alternatively, 
I could have told him that he was a disgusting immoral low-life, and 
other such invective, and shown him the error of his thoughts. But I did 
neither of those. 

I gave him my full face, big eyes, and "Hermann, this sounds so 
wonderful. Can I join your Society?" "Yes, of course, of course, all are 
welcome. And you are so Aryan, Valerie, so blonde and beautiful, you 
will be a very good member." "Great. I must go back to England for now, 
I'm only here for a week, but I'll come back, and I can join then?" 
"Yes, yes". "Close your eyes, Hermann." He did. "Now, Hermann, go to 
sleep, my liebling." 

I thought about what he'd told me. I guess it's the same in any group, 
one leader and a bunch of sheep following. And just as I was able to 
intimidate a group of a few men into obeying my will, using my sexuality 
and Valkyrie strength, so Ingrid was doing the same with the entire 
WW2SS. The evil was all hers. Well mostly hers, because evil finds more 
evil - bad people emerge to do the devil's work. Hermann wasn't really a 
bad sort, no worse than most. He'd been led astray, that's all. He 
needed someone to bring him back to normality, but of course before that 
could happen, Ingrid's influence had to be broken. 

The next day, I woke up next to Hermann. I gave him one more fuck for 
luck, and to make sure he remembered me, and then I reminded him about 
me wish to join the WW2SS. "Keine probleme" he said, "No problem." We 
had breakfast, and then went down to the middle of town, where WW2SS had 
its recruiting office. There were guards with rifles outside the doors, 
and I had to look really closely to see that they were just wooden 
rifles again. Inside, there was the standard bureaucracy. 

I filled in form after form. They wanted to see my passport; I told them 
that passports are not necessary within the EEC, and I didn't need one 
or have one. "But Germans often don't have a passport, so what do you 
use in that case?" "So do you have any identification?" I thought about 
this. "Would a letter addressed to me be sufficient?" They brought out a 
big book of rules, and yes, that was permitted. "Excellent", I said, 
"now if you could give me an envelope?" And while they watched, I filled 
in the name of Valerie Stokes, and a fictitious address, and gave them 
that. Bless their little bureaucratic hearts, this fell within the rules 
so they accepted it. I guess the rules are there for a reason, but after 
a long time, people forget the reason, and just enforce the rules. 

We spent the entire day at this. They measured my height and weight, and 
made various measurements around my skull, I can't imagine why. And they 
measured my nose especially carefully; I guess if it had been too big I 
wouldn't have been allowed in? Or maybe if it had been too small? But 
eventually, they put a bible in front of me, and I had to swear by the 
Christian God to do my best for the WW2SS, in general, and in particular 
I took an oath of allegiance to Fraulein Ingrid. It's just as well that 
the Christian God is irrelevant to Valkyries. 

Then they took 250 DM from me, about $100, as my first year's membership 
dues. Some things are always the same. Then, after everything was done, 
they gave me a membership card. It had my name, my membership number 
(7438) and it said that I was a full member of the WW2SS. Then they gave 
me the starter pack, including a big heavy book full of rules, all in 
German, so I couldn't understand it. And then, finally, I could go. 

I went straight to Siegfried. He was in, and as soon as he opened the 
door, I took him in my arms and gave him a big hug. Not as big as the 
ones that Fraulein Ingrid gives, of course. And I told him I'd joined 
the Society, and I'd be going back to England soon, but "I'll be back!" 

We spent that evening just talking about the WW2SS and their beliefs, 
and I told him about Hermann, about how he wasn't an evil man, but 
misled. Hermann has a wife and kiddies, and he just wants the best for 
them. "But he didn't mind sleeping with you, Diana!" I frowned at him. 
"Do you think he should have said no to me?" "Well, of course, he's 
married." "Siegfried, if you were married, do you think you could say no 
to me?" He looked down at his shoes. "No" he whispered. "Well, that's 
what Fraulein Ingrid is doing, only on a bigger scale." 

I got back to the hotel quite late, what with talking so much to 
Siegfried, and I decided to use Michael's room, rather than wake you 
both up. The next morning, we all packed, and flew back to Heathrow. 

Michael: 

"Fuck me" I said, with feeling. I'd thought Diana was just out painting 
Bayreuth red, I hadn't suspected she'd got herself mixed up in an anti-
Nazi conspiracy, joined a neo-Nazi party, witnessed three murders, and 
decided to embark on a crusade. "Fuck me". Judy turned to me, put her 
hand on my knee, and said "Sure. Right now?" I smacked her hand, and 
looked at Diana. "So what are we going to do?" 

"I don't know", she said. "I thought, the first thing I'll do is tell 
Judy and Michael, then we can all think about it and work out a plan." I 
looked at Judy, she looked at me. "I thought you knew all about this 
already?" Judy shook her head. "No. Diana told me she was going out to 
meet some people, and then to a beer evening, but I had no idea that she 
was involved in anything like this." "That was because I had no idea who 
might be listening, tapping the room, whatever. Siegfried told me that I 
had to be ultra careful, and after I saw Fraulein Ingrid in action, I 
could see why." 

I nodded. I'd assumed that Judy had been clued up, and me excluded, when 
actually Diana was being very sensible about security. Then I asked the 
obvious question - I find that sometimes you don't get the obvious 
answer. "Is Fraulein Ingrid a Valkyrie?" 

"She can't be", said Diana. "A Valkyrie wouldn't do what she does to a 
defenceless man." Judy agreed. "I'm not so sure", I said. "Look, just 
because you've got a protective feeling towards men ..." and Judy put 
her arm round me "... doesn't mean to say that all Valkyries do. Look at 
Vicky!" "Well, I'm not so sure about her, either." "No, Diana, listen. 
Let's separate the physical from the psychological. The physical is the 
big bones, the displaced tendons and the layer of muscle round your 
body; the psychological is the protective feelings towards men. The 
physical has to be entirely inherited; nature if you like, whereas the 
psychological has got to be at least to some extent learned - nurture. 
Vicky's the way she is because of what happened to her, don't you agree? 
Because of that bastard Eric, or whatever his name was." Diana said 
"Mmmm", thoughtfully. 

"So let's talk about Ingrid. You think she's over seven feet tall?" 
"That was just a guess, remember. I assumed that the guards were normal 
height men, and I estimated that she was thirty or forty centimetres 
taller. Do you think that's too high?" "No, even at seven feet and a 
couple of inches she wouldn't be the tallest woman in the world today. 
There's Sandy Allen, she's seven feet seven." "Wow" said Diana. "I bet 
she eats her Wheaties. Hermann said she was two meters, sixteen 
centimetres, 185 kilos." "That's 85 inches, seven feet one. And 408 
pounds" I said. 

"How did she move?" "What do you mean?" "Did she move easily, or did she 
have trouble walking?" "She moved like a cat, a big cat. Grace and 
power, you know?" "And did you see her waist?" "Yes, and it was big, not 
slim like a girl. I mean, she did have a waist, but not a small one, 
like you'd expect on a woman." "More like what you'd expect on a 
Valkyrie, like you and Judy?" Diana nodded, glumly. "And her thighs?" 
Diana nodded again. "Big. Very big. Bigger than her waist, I'm sure, and 
bigger than the men she was crushing. Oh dear, Michael, I'm afraid you 
might be right. How strong do you think she is, then?" 

I did some sums. Let's assume she's like the other Valkyries I know, 
just scaled up a bit. OK, Diana's five foot five, that's 65 inches, so 
Ingrid's 31% taller. That's 124% bigger in volume, and she's, um, 121% 
heavier. That checks out, it means she's built to the same 
specifications, only bigger. So her arms and legs are also 31% bigger in 
diameter and circumference, and 71% bigger in cross-section, and that's 
what strength depends on, doesn't it? Oh, but also the longer arms and 
legs give you more leverage. "Diana, I'd guess she's twice as strong as 
you, plus or minus 25%" She wrinkled her nose at me. "But you're 
prettier." She wrinkled her nose again. "You're just saying that, you 
haven't even seen her." Which is true. "I still think you're prettier." 
Which was silly of me, because Judy was sitting right next to me, and I 
found myself wrestling with a Valkyrie, not something I'd normally 
recommend unless it's one you're in love with. After she'd subdued me, 
and I'd sworn that she was even prettier than Diana, we were able to 
continue. 

"How can she deal with a Valkyrie twice as strong as she is?" asked 
Judy. "I can think of three ways, off the top of my head," I answered. 
"That's why you're here", said Diana. "What are they?" "Number one, use 
the method I use for dealing with Judy." "What's that?" asked Diana. 
"Complete and total submission. It works great. I'm going to have to do 
whatever she says, so I might as well do it immediately." Diana laughed. 
"That's no good, I hope your other two ways are better." "Right, well, 
if she's twice as strong as one of you, then the two of you are a match 
for her." "Hmm, and if we added Freya or Hilde, we'd be more than a 
match." "Right!" "Sounds good - what's your third idea." "Cat's Claw. If 
you cut her throat, that would seriously slow her down." Judy chipped in 
with "No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife between the 
shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style." 

"I don't really like either of those," said Diana. "But suppose we took 
out Ingrid, then what? She's only part of the problem." "But surely," I 
replied, "without Ingrid, the WW2SS would revert to being a beer 
drinking club, maybe with a bit of marching about with wooden rifles?" 
"Not if some other leader took her place. Then we have essentially the 
same problem. Plus, remember the Broderbund, and the funds in the Swiss 
bank. We ought to try to deal with Die Gelt, find out who he is, so we 
can stop him funding the groups in other countries." 

We discussed the situation far into the night, until eventually Hassan 
and Kevin returned, and Diana said "Time for bed." She took the bed, 
with her boys, and Judy and I slept on the couch. It was rather narrow, 
but newly-weds don't mind that. Well, we weren't actually married, I 
thought, and wondered what she'd say if I proposed to her. And with that 
pleasant thought, and the warm feeling of her arms round me, I fell 
asleep. 

Next day, Diana sent her boys out for the day, and we continued. Diana 
summarised what we'd agreed so far. 

"We've got to murder Ingrid." I looked at Judy; no-one liked the use of 
the word murder, but we'd agreed that calling it anything else was just 
pretending to ourselves. We agreed she deserved it, she committed 
several murders every month. But still, murder is murder. "Then we have 
to put someone in her place, and that's obviously got to be a Valkyrie. 
Then she has to use her position to track back to Die Gelt, and he's got 
to be dealt with." We didn't feel Die Gelt had to be murdered, just 
neutralised. Without access to the funds, he'd just be a harmless old 
man. Diana continued, "Ingrid's murderer could be anyone, but her 
replacement has to be one of us, and obviously a banker is going to be 
better at this than a nurse. So it looks like it's me, chaps." And she 
fluffed her hair up. 

I looked at Judy. I hadn't discussed this with her, because I knew what 
her reaction would have been. What I was about to suggest was, on the 
face of it, crazy. But the logic was compelling. I took a deep breath. 

"First of all, I want you to promise to hear me out. I don't want one of 
you Valkyries jumping all over me, you know I can't fight back." Diana 
laughed, and said she'd hear me out. Judy nodded. 

"Diana, you've already been to their meeting, and you'll be recognised. 
That will compromise Siegfried. And don't say they might not have 
noticed you, I saw you in that long blue satin evening dress, you'll 
have been noticed by every man there." Diana scratched her nose. I 
continued. 

"You're right about needing a Valkyrie to replace Ingrid, and a banker 
is better than a nurse. But Vicky is also a banker, and she's much more 
suitable." "But ..." "Hear me out." She subsided, and went back to 
listening mode. "Now, the person to murder Ingrid isn't you, or Vicky. 
She'll know about Valkyries, being one herself, and she won't let you 
get anywhere near her, not with a weapon, anyway. And you'll need a 
weapon, she's too big, too strong for any of you. But she won't be 
afraid of a weak helpless male. Someone like me." 

Then I sat back and let them try to shoot me down. "You're just a man, 
you wouldn't be able to kill a Valkyrie." "Yes I would." "Don't be so 
silly, Michael. She'd just smash you flat in one second. And you 
wouldn't be able to get close to her with a weapon." "Yes I would. Let 
me explain to you. Judy, spread your legs." She did, looking puzzled. I 
pulled up her skirt. "Look, you see here? On the inside of her leg, you 
see this big artery? It's the femoral artery, it's the biggest blood 
carrier in the entire body. Cut this, and you bleed to death in 
seconds." "But you won't be able to get close to her with a knife, you 
said so yourself. And even if you did, she'd crush you before you could 
get close to her." 

But I had my answer, all ready. You have to understand, the only way to 
fight evil, is with total war. If you're going to murder someone, you 
mustn't be too picky about how you're going to do it. I knelt down in 
front of my love, my Judy, pushed her legs a bit further apart, and 
pushed my head in, towards her crutch. Then I turned my head sideways a 
little, and nipped gently at her skin, with my teeth. 

"That's how." 

There was a silence, which was broken by Diana saying "Jesus." Then by 
Judy, saying "You'd do that?" "Not to you, Judy, of course not. But you 
see how easy it is? If she'll let me put my head between her legs, she's 
dead meat." Both the girls pressed their legs together. "You'd be soaked 
in her blood." I nodded. "It's like putting your head under an 
elephant's foot." I agreed. "It's the most insane idea I've ever heard." 
"But I'm right, aren't I? You girls wouldn't get close enough, but I bet 
she'd let me get in." More silence, followed by Diana's "Shit". 

Then Judy said, "But what about Vicky? You know what she's like, how do 
you know she wouldn't just decide to make you into one of her toys?" I 
shook my head. "She wouldn't dare. You two would sort her out in no 
time. I really don't think I have to worry about Vicky. And she's the 
most intimidating of all of you, right? So she'll be an ideal 
replacement for Fraulein Ingrid. She'll have the WW2SS eating out of her 
hand in no time." "But she loves to hurt men. She'll ..." "She'll what? 
Put dog collars on a few of them? Tie them up and spank them? Judy, 
anything that Vicky does is gentle stuff compared to Fraulein Ingrid." 
"Fuck-a-duck," said Diana. 

They argued quite a lot. Normally, I wouldn't argue with a Valkyrie, 
it's too difficult. They just sap your will, then pull your feet out 
from under you. But they weren't doing that this time, the debate was 
logical and reasonable. Except that I couldn't believe what I was 
talking myself in for, and I tried not to think about it. Eventually, 
Diana joined us on the settee, turned to me and gave me a hug. "You 
remember I called you a brave soldier all those weeks ago, when I hurt 
your arm?" Yes, I did. You don't forget that sort of thing, and my arm 
throbbed a little at the memory. "Well, I think you're the bravest 
soldier I've ever met." And that, I think, encapsulates the whole 
problem of being a man. You do crazy brave stupid things, just so that 
girls like Diana say things like that to you. 

And thus it was, a few days later, that the three of us went to visit 
Vicky. I hadn't met her before, so I was rather nervous about this, I'd 
heard terrible stories. We knocked at the front door, and some dogs 
started barking. Vicky opened the door, and I got my first sight of her. 

It was obvious to me that she was a Valkyrie - she had the same thickset 
body, blonde colouring and confident manner that I knew so well from 
Diana and Judy. But I didn't gaze at her for long. My attention was 
drawn to the dogs. Because they weren't dogs. 

She'd tied each wrist to the corresponding ankle with about eighteen 
inches of steel chain, so they had to walk on all fours, and put mittens 
over their hands, so they couldn't use them except as legs. They wore 
muzzles to hold in place the ball gag that stopped them from making 
anything other than dog-like noises. They were dressed in a sort of baby 
romper-suit, an all-over zip-up, and where the dog's tail should be, 
they had, well, a tail. Diana took one look, and said "My god, Judy, 
look!" and strode over to the nearest, ripped off his muzzle releasing 
the ball gag, broke the chains, and helped him to stand upright. Judy 
copied Diana with the other one; Vicky stood with her arms folded, 
looking amused. "It's OK, love" Diana said. "You're free now, you're 
safe, you can go home." One of the men yelped and whined, the other one 
went straight back down on all fours, and rubbed himself on Vicky's 
legs. "They like it here", she said. By now, the other one was also 
rubbing himself against her legs, the way dogs do. 

I just sat in an armchair. If there was going to be a fight between 
Valkyries, I wanted to be out of the way. But there wasn't a fight, 
Diana just scratched her head, and said "Well, I guess if they like 
pretending to be dogs ..." "They do" Vicky said, firmly. "They love it. 
I feed them once a day, give them water in their bowls, and they're my 
pets. And they aren't pretending, they are dogs." She patted one of them 
on the head, and he looked up and yelped happily. I felt a bit like that 
sometimes with Judy, except that she didn't actually feed me, I was 
supposed to feed her. Diana shook her head, and said "Well, send them 
out of the room, anyway. We have to talk." 

With the dogs frisking out in the garden (I couldn't help looking out at 
them occasionally, they seemed to be doing such an excellent dog-
impression, you were tempted to actually think of them as dogs) we got 
down to business. Diana explained about Nazis, and neo-Nazis, and stolen 
gold, and Die Gelt, and the WW2SS, and the Broderbund, and Fraulein 
Ingrid. Vicky sat and listened, I mostly watched Diana, I still couldn't 
really understand how she so effortlessly assumed leadership of a group 
of Valkyries. Then Vicky said, "What's this got to do with me?" So Diana 
explained that we planned to assassinate Fraulein Ingrid, and track back 
to identify Die Gelt, whoever he was, and deprive him of his power. 
Vicky repeated, "So what's this got to do with me, and why should I 
help?" "Because, Vicky, we need someone for protection while the 
assassin is getting close to her, and then afterwards, we need someone 
to take over the leadership of the Party. And that's you." 

Vicky looked thoughtful. "Hundreds of members?" "Yes" "And I can play 
with them?" "Well, a bit. You mustn't carry on the murder and torture, 
like Fraulein Ingrid." "No, that's fine, I'm not into killing men, 
that's a terrible waste." I looked out into the garden, where two dogs 
were playing tug-of-war with a rubber ring, and wondered whether that 
fate was better. "OK, so you can play with them a bit, turn them back 
into a beer-drinking club, and we'll investigate the bank transfers." 
"Two birds with one stone, Diana, some of them will know how that works, 
and it might be rather fun getting them to talk. So who's the assassin, 
is it Judy?" 

"No", I said. "I am." "You?" she laughed. "But you're just a man! You 
couldn't hurt a Valkyrie if your life depended on it!" "I can, and it 
will. But until I get close to her, and come under her protection, I 
need you to protect me." "Do you even *know* how to use a gun?" She was 
assuming that I'd be shooting Fraulein Ingrid. "I know all I need to 
know." I didn't think she needed to know how I planned to terminate 
Fraulein Ingrid, so on the need-to-know principle, I didn't enlighten 
her. "Anyway, how do you propose to get close to her?" "I know 
Valkyries" I said, simply, and smiled. 

Vicky looked over to Diana, who smiled, and said "Show her." So I got 
up, and walked across to where Vicky was sitting. Then I knelt in front 
of her, and reached up to rub her belly, round and round, then up, up to 
her breasts, left nipple, right nipple, underside of the breast, while 
Vicky lay back in her chair enjoying the sensations. Then I stopped. 
"Like that." She opened her eyes. "Yes, I could get quite used to that. 
How did you know ... oh, of course." When you're in love with someone, 
you very quickly learn what they like the most, and you rapidly learn 
how they like it, where, how often, and so on. I learned this on Judy, 
then found that Diana responded brilliantly to the same touches, and now 
Vicky had confirmed that it was a common Valkyrie weakness. Vicky smiled 
down at me. "You and I, little one, are going to have a lot of fun 
together." 

"Vicky, I'll make this very simple. If you hurt him, or terrorise him, 
or mistreat him, or fail to protect him, you'll have me *and* Judy after 
your arse. You understand?" Vicky smiled, wistfully. "Mmmh. I'll be nice 
to your baby. Just think of all those yummy Germans just waiting for 
their new Mistress. Er - can I take my dogs?" "Don't be silly, Vicky, of 
course you can't." "Well, who'll look after them? I can't just put them 
in a kennels, you know, they'd ask me what breed they were." Actually, I 
was thinking that Vicky's kind of dog had a lot of advantages for 
travellers - no anti-rabies quarantine necessary, they don't chase cats, 
they can travel inside the aircraft as passengers. But leaving them 
behind - surely that wasn't a big problem? "Can't you just leave them 
alone for several weeks with a supply of dog food and water from the 
tap?" Vicky shook her head. They can't manage a tap, they'd drink from 
the toilet bowl, you know what dogs are like." True. "And they can't 
manage a tin opener, how could they?" Hmm. The mittens, I'd forgotten 
those. 

"Look, Vicky, I'll get one of my ex-boyfriends to look after them, 
they'll be all right." Diana has more ex-boyfriends than a dog has 
fleas, on account of she has a new one pretty much every day. "No thank 
you. They won't feel a sense of responsibility, they'll lock them in a 
closed car or something." Diana shook her head impatiently - "I don't 
believe this. We're getting hung up on a pair of dogs." I didn't bother 
to point out that they weren't actually dogs. It didn't seem relevant, 
somehow. Instead, I made a constructive suggestion, Diana had a couple of 
pets of her own, although she didn't treat them like animals. "What 
about them staying with Kevin and Hassan?" 


They all came to see Vicky and me off at the airport. Diana gave me a 
big hug, a kiss, and a bent six inch nail. Judy gave me a much bigger, 
longer kiss that might have developed into something more, if it weren't 
for the fact that the previous night had left me feeling like I'd never 
be able to have sex again. Valkyries can be so persistent, and you can't 
say no to them. Well, you can, but it doesn't change anything. And the 
two dogs (I hadn't found out their names) howled and whined as if they 
knew what was going on. Dogs can understand quite a lot, you know. 
Especially these two, I suppose. Then Vicky and I went through Boarding 
Pass control, and waved goodbye to our friends. As we went through the 
metal detector, Vicky buzzed, and had to be body-searched. Afterwards, I 
asked her what caused the buzz, and she said "I have a little something 
in my hair", and I guessed she'd got that habit from Diana. Diana 
carries a wickedly sharp knife, Cat's Claw, and Judy carries a brass 
knuckle duster, disguised as a hair tidy. "So what have you got up 
there, Vicky?" 

While we were waiting for the flight, she reached up and brought it out 
to show me. "It's a kongo." It was made of brass, like a dumbbell shape, 
sort of like a small hourglass. The handle in the middle was just the 
width of your hand, and it must have weighed about a pound. I held out my 
hand for it, but she shook her head. "Do you know what happens if a man 
touches it?" I swear it's Diana inventing these legends. "What do you do 
with it?" "Oh, lots of things." She took it her hand. "Can you imagine 
what it would feel like against your skull? Or I could kill you with a 
blow to your temple." Ouch. "Or if I press it against here, I can 
inflict as much pain as I want to" and she held it against my kneecap. 
"You promised Diana you wouldn't ..." "Don't worry, little one, I'm here 
to protect you." I wish she wouldn't keep calling me little one. I'm 
five nine, that isn't little, and she's only a couple of inches taller. 
Then they called our flight, and the kongo disappeared back into her 
hair, becoming just a piece of jewellery again. Brrr. Valkyries make me 
want to cross my legs, sometimes. 

We got to Bayreuth, and in the middle of the town, we rented a small one 
bedroom flat, since we expected to be there for a while. We unpacked, 
and hung up our clothes, ordered a pizza to be delivered, and went to 
bed, Vicky in the bedroom, me on the convertible couch in the living 
room. It wasn't too uncomfortable, but I tossed and turned for a long 
time. I have a vivid imagination, and I kept thinking about nut 
crackers. I kept thinking about Fraulein Ingrid, and what she could do 
to a man, and I imagined myself putting my head down there, between her 
thighs, and I kept shivering with fear. Eventually, I couldn't take it 
any longer. I decided I was being very silly; I knew a way to conquer my 
fears. There's a Valkyrie in the next room, and you have no idea how 
soothing it is when one of them puts her arms round you. So I got up, 
padded next door, and slipped into bed with her. "I was wondering how 
long that would take you", she said, and I felt her strong arms round 
me, shielding and protecting me, and I felt a lot better. 

I didn't feel that I was being unfaithful to Judy. I mean, Judy knew 
what things are about, she knew Vicky and I were going to be alone 
together, and they'd laid down the law that she wasn't to hurt me, which 
was great. But no-one said she couldn't fuck me, and I lay next to her 
big body on the bed, and brought my hands up to stroke her belly, then 
the underside of her breasts. It had the effect that this always does 
have on Valkyries, and she squealed with delight, and attacked me back. 
Pretty soon, I was fast asleep, exhausted by the powerful woman who kept 
her arms round me as I dozed off. 

Next morning, I woke up, to find I was still in the circle of her arms, 
only I was on top of her. Judy does this to me as well, and Diana says 
she prefers sleeping that way. Maybe it's a Valkyrie thing? Like I 
prefer to have the weight of a blanket on top of me, a Valkyrie likes to 
have the weight of a man on top of her? I wished I could spend more time 
studying Valkyrology, I guess I knew more on the subject than any other 
man, but there was so much more to learn, so much more to know. Vicky 
was already awake, and when I moved, her arms tightened around me. "Good 
morning" I said. Her answer was to rub me up and down her body, and if 
you've never had that done to you by a Valkyrie, you don't know what 
you're missing. Their strong arms make you feel like you weigh nothing, 
and the feel of their body against yours arouses you until you think you 
might explode. Then she spread her legs, slid me in, and brought me 
slowly to orgasm. 

Afterwards, I lay on top of her, and gently stroked her breasts. "Vicky, 
you enjoyed that, didn't you? I certainly did." She looked at me, and 
said "Of course I did, why do you think I was making all that noise?" 
Valkyries tend to be noisy, but Vicky was almost deafening. "So why do 
you like hurting men?" 

She stroked my back. "Don't worry, little one. Diana and Judy are 
protecting you, I won't hurt you." She squeezed me in her arms, not 
painful, but uncomfortable enough to make me realise what she could do 
if she wanted to. Then she kissed me, and said "I'll protect you too, 
you sweet little thing." Which was nice to hear, but I still wanted to 
know. "Why do you like hurting men?" 

She rolled over onto her side, and her arm on top of me immobilised me. 
"Let me tell you about the bastard that made me kill my baby." She told 
me about Eric, who'd taken advantage of her when she was a bit younger, 
made her pregnant, then because she was pregnant, left her (see Diana's 
Chum). And Vicky was distraught, and hated the pregnancy that was the 
reason he'd left her, and when she had a miscarriage, she naturally 
blamed herself for not wanting the baby. But now she blamed Eric, and 
transferred that to wanting to punish all men. "But that's just one 
selfish bastard, it doesn't mean all men are like that!" I looked into 
her eyes, and they were soft and misty, she was almost crying. "I killed 
my baby" she whispered, and suddenly she wasn't the big tough Valkyrie, 
she was an unhappy young girl with a recent miscarriage. 

"No, you didn't" I insisted. "Vicky, about a third of babies miscarry, 
its just the way things are. It isn't the fault of the mother, it's just 
that not all fetuses develop properly." "I know that. But still, maybe 
if only ..." and then she was crying, and she was in my arms, not the 
other way round. Well, both really, but you know what I mean. I held her 
as she sobbed. If only. The two unhappiest words in the language. But in 
this case, wrong, because absolutely nothing she could have done would 
have helped the miscarriage. I explained this to her. She sniffled and 
snuffled, and her tears stopped flowing, so I kissed her, softly, not a 
sexy kiss, but a kiss of support, a kiss that said "I'm with you on 
this." 

"So what happened to Eric?" "Oh, you met him, remember? He was the one 
in the light brown romper suit and the feathery tail." Oh. Ah. I see. 
Remind me never to get a Valkyrie really upset. "So who's the other dog? 
I mean, who was, I mean, er ..." "Just some guy, he saw how happy Eric 
was as a dog, and wanted to be one as well. It's a good life, you know, 
no responsibility, just play all day, chase balls, eat, sleep, eat, 
sleep, sex sometimes, I haven't had them neutered. They're ever so 
housetrained, never make messes indoors. I don't let them chase cats, 
and I take them out to parties and things, let them sit under the table 
and get fed scraps. They love it!" "Uh, I don't think that's the sort of 
thing I'd fancy, Vicky." "No, Michael, I know that. Judy had a long chat 
with me about you. You're a Professor of History, and your specialist 
subject is Valkyries." I guess she's right. I haven't thought about 
Viking trading patterns between Normandy and the Scandinavian Vikings 
for weeks and weeks. She seemed to have cheered up a lot, a good cry 
does you good, sometimes, lets it all out. I think being hugged helps, 
too. "Tell me about Valkyries, Michael. I've heard some stuff, but I'd 
like to hear it from you." 

So we went out shopping for all the necessities that you need to live; 
food, drink, washing up liquid, that sort of thing. A kettle. And while 
we shopped until we dropped, I told her what we knew so far about the 
condition we called Valkyrie, for want of a better name. I told her 
about the gross anatomical differences, the heavier bones, the layer of 
muscle round the body, the displaced tendons that gave her better 
leverage. I explained some of the consequences of these differences - 
the higher metabolic rate that caused the increased appetite, the 
different shape that a Valkyrie had compared to an ordinary woman. She 
is much thicker round the waist, as the two inch thick layer of muscle 
added twelve inches to the circumference. Her bigger bones and thicker 
musculature leads to legs like tree trunks, typically somewhat bigger 
than her waist, and Vicky confirmed that she was like that too. And the 
psychological differences that all this caused, the greater self-
confidence, which I'd observed most markedly with Judy, who had changed 
from an ungainly and rather shy wallflower, into a graceful and self-
confident man-killer. Hmm, maybe I should have worded that differently, 
never mind, Judy would understand what I mean. 

And the epitome of Valkyriehood, the canonical Valkyrie, is of course 
Diana. Vicky agreed, and told me the story of how she met Diana, by 
throwing herself under Diana's car, how Diana had taken her home and 
taught her self-respect and pride in what she was. "I added three inches 
to my height, just by standing up straight." 

That evening, we ate out, and when we got home, Vicky disappeared into 
her bedroom. I got ready for a night on the couch, but then she re-
appeared, and she looked stunning. She was wearing a long silk night-
dress, frothy with lace round the breasts and hem, with huge floppy 
sleeves, and a sultry smile. I gulped, and thought of Judy. But Judy was 
thousands of miles away, and they'd told Vicky she mustn't hurt me, they 
hadn't told her she mustn't seduce me, and you try saying no to a horny 
Valkyrie. After the first one, I lay in her arms trying to get my breath 
back, and told her that I thought that she was gorgeous, that her 
nightie was gorgeous, but I somehow hadn't thought she'd have anything 
like that, and she told me that Judy had given it to her before we'd 
left. Judy! Oh, Judy, I miss you, and I love you so. What a lovely 
present. 


Next day, I staggered out of bed - I could hardly stand, Vicky had only 
just about managed to keep her promise not to hurt me, but I wasn't 
complaining. I was a bit sore, a bit stretched and a bit, well, shagged 
out is the best way to put it. A Valkyrie can be a pretty wonderful sex 
partner, when she puts her mind to it. A couple of cups of coffee later, 
I was ready to visit the headquarters of WW2SS. It was time to become a 
Nazi. 

I needn't have worried about my non-blond colouring. Most of the people 
in the office looked pretty much like me, so it obviously wasn't that 
big an issue. They put me through the same rigmarole that Diana had been 
through, and even accepted an envelope addressed to my fake address as 
proof of identity. Aren't bureaucracies wonderful? They took the entire 
morning and half the afternoon to process me, and eventually, they took 
my 250 DM and I was a member. I even had an armband with a swastika on 
it, for formal occasions. They told me to go out and buy my own black 
shirt, trousers and boots. 

While I was there, I asked if there was any work I could volunteer for. 
I know what these organisations are like, they suck up resources like a 
vacuum cleaner. When they asked me what skills I had, I explained that I 
was a professional Historian, with considerable knowledge of Germanic 
Myth, which is true, since Germanic myth and Nordic myth are the same. 
They got *very* excited about that, as I knew they would, and asked me 
if I'd be willing to work in the Ideology department. That sounded great 
to me, since my objective was simply to get as close to Fraulein Ingrid 
as possible. 

The next day, Vicky joined up. We joined on different days, because we 
didn't want it too obvious that we were together. Vicky wore a very long 
skirt, and a baggy sweater, with a jacket on top; we didn't want them to 
see her build just yet. She got a job as a typist in the Propaganda 
department. 

After I'd been there a couple of days, I was beginning to get really 
interested in what they were doing. They were taking bits of Old Norse, 
and bits of Teutonic Knight stuff, plus some Druid myths, and a fair bit 
out of Tolkein, and mixing it all up together, and coming out with their 
own version. The main problem was, they wanted it to all be tidy and 
internally self consistent, and the raw material wasn't, myth is like 
that. So we were trying to make it all fit together properly, by 
changing the bits that didn't fit. It was interesting work, I have to 
say, if a little pointless. A bit like doing a crossword puzzle. 

Then on the Wednesday, Fraulein Ingrid came into the office. She was 
like a whirlwind, a tidal wave. There were six men around her as some 
sort of bodyguard, not that I could imagine why she'd need a bodyguard, 
maybe they had some more basic use. There was a meeting (yes, even Nazis 
have meetings, in fact, the Hitler Nazis were especially good at 
creating multiple bureaucracies). And I was called into the meeting to 
explain progress on the creation of the mythos. I'd been warned that 
this might happen, so I was prepared with slides and charts. I'd boiled 
their mythology down to its essence, straightened out the logic, added 
the necessary flourishes and rituals, and then my own finishing touch - 
Valkyries. Invincible warrior women with muscles like steel, blessed by 
the gods, favoured by the gods, fighting for the gods. I was looking 
straight at Fraulein Ingrid as I went into a lot of unnecessary detail 
about my Valkyrie myths, and since I'd invented most of it based on what 
I knew about the real Valkyries I knew, she was obviously relating to 
it, and relating hard. 

After the meeting, one of her guys came to see me at my desk, and told 
me to visit her in her apartment that evening, nine o'clock sharp. 
Naturally, I was there exactly on time. 

There were two guards at the door, and they frisked me quite thoroughly, 
and rather rudely, I thought. And they made me walk through a metal 
detector, before being allowed into an anteroom where another pair of 
guards, armed with sub-machine guns, sat looking smug and arrogant in 
their black uniforms. No chance of smuggling a weapon in here, no chance 
at all. Then I was shown into her boudoir, a rather surprisingly 
feminine room, and there she was, sitting on the bed, big, strong and 
ugly. Ugly - yes, her face wasn't her fortune. From a distance, her face 
had looked pretty, almost beautiful, but up close, she was ugly. But her 
body, oh, that was something else. Big, hard, solid. Huge firm breasts 
that looked like they could suffocate a man, huge firm thighs that 
looked like they could crush a man's body. I quailed; I was scared of 
her, but at the same time I had an erection at the thought of what she 
could do to me. 

She beckoned me towards her. "Kommen sie, mein liebling" she said. As I 
got closer to her, my stomach started doing somersaults. Nothing I'd 
ever seen had prepared me for this woman, close up. Not Diana, not Judy, 
not even Vicky, a couple of inches taller than me. Fraulein Ingrid was 
taller than me even when she was sitting down and I was standing up. And 
as I came towards her, she stood up, and I couldn't take my eyes off 
those huge thighs, the thighs that Diana had told me could kill a man 
without much effort. I think I must have moaned softly, I heard someone 
moaning. I'm sure my face must have reached as high as her breasts, but 
it felt like I was much smaller than that. And then my knees gave way 
and I knelt in front of her, and as she moved forward, my face was 
enveloped by her skirt. 

She reached down and picked me up. I did a quick calculation in my head, 
that's another drawback of being an academic, always analysing. If she 
was about twice as strong as Diana, then she'd be ten times as strong as 
me. So lifting me up must have felt like, say, twenty pounds would to me. 
About two gallons of water, and that's roughly how I felt inside me. She 
held me up at arms length, then said "Don't be afraid, my little 
precious, if you're nice to me, I can be gentle with you." I nodded 
hard, I'd be nice, I'd be nice. 

I'd rather not say what she did to me, it wasn't nice, and it wasn't 
gentle. Maybe she thought she was being gentle, but I know what a gentle 
Valkyrie can feel like, and this wasn't it. But I kept thinking about 
what Diana had told me about her nastier habits, and I kept being as 
nice as I possibly could. She kept flexing and bending my body in ways 
it wasn't meant to go, and twisting my body more than I could take. She 
teased me with her sexually arousing breasts, she tortured me with her 
painful fingers. She kept hurting me and arousing me, sometimes both at 
once, until I didn't know whether I was feeling pleasure or pain, or 
both. She was enjoying my pain, and she was enjoying my sexual pleasure. 
Everything she did to me, was for her, not for me. And at no point did 
she allow me to have an orgasm, although she had one herself at one 
point. And while she was shuddering from it, I was terrified at what she 
might accidentally do to me, but she was careful, and I survived her 
climax. 

Eventually, she got tired of playing with me. My arms hurt, my legs 
hurt, my back felt like it was broken. I had a raging headache, my mouth 
was like the bottom of a cat's litter and my ribs ached when I breathed. 
But I kept thinking of what those massive arms could have done to me; 
what Diana had done to me just with her hands, and without really 
trying, and what this woman could have done to me with those huge 
powerful arms. I didn't want to think about her legs. I think the worst 
thing, was that I wanted her to do it to me again. 

I dragged myself home. Vicky gasped when she saw me, and gasped again 
when she got me undressed for a hot bath. My body was so badly bruised, 
and I kept crying out with pain as she gently helped me get clean. Vicky 
was absolutely great - gentle, and sweet, and she carried me from the 
bath into bed and left me to sleep. I was very glad she was there. 

I slept through most of the next day, and woke up feeling rather better 
- I still ached all over, but the pain wasn't sharp and hot any more. 
And I found that Vicky hadn't been idle, she'd phoned home and told them 
what had happened, and there were two angry Valkyries interrogating me. 
Diana was angry with me for failing so miserably, and, Judy was angry 
with herself for letting me into the clutches of Fraulein Ingrid, "You 
could have been killed" and she told me she wouldn't let me have another 
go. Funnily enough, I wasn't arguing. 

Diana was saying that I'd been a complete fool, I could have easily 
turned my head and bitten through her femoral artery, and I was a 
failure for not doing it. Judy was trying to defend me (and I have to 
say, when a Valkyrie is angry with you, it's very nice to have another 
Valkyrie defending you). 

You see, theory is one thing, practice is another. Yes, I could have 
done the fatal bite, but I was just too terrified. It's hard to explain. 
How can I put this. Putting my head between her thighs was easy - she 
did that. And in theory, I could have just turned my head slightly, 
found the artery, and slashed it with my canines. But in practice, I 
felt as if my head was in a car crusher, and the slightest resistance 
could trigger a disaster. Maybe if I turned my head, the jaws would 
clamp closed? 

You've probably never had your head between thighs that are 48 inches 
around, and as hard as oak. You've probably never touched a woman with a 
three or four inch layer of muscle like armour plate over her body. 
You've never encountered a woman who is probably ten times as strong as 
you are. She simply overwhelmed me, and I just did whatever she wanted. 
And I wasn't just terrified. I think I was also in love with this 
behemoth of a woman. 

I tried to explain all this to Diana, but she wouldn't listen, wouldn't 
understand. How can you explain such total domination, to a woman who is 
used to commanding the same feelings herself? Diana just couldn't see 
why I was unable to carry out my mission, when it seemed so easy. Judy 
understood, though. Judy hadn't known that she was a Valkyrie all her 
life like Diana had, and Judy knew how it felt to be intimidated; Diana 
had always been the intimidator. 

I was surprised to find that Vicky argued on my side, too. But then I 
remembered where she'd come from, she hadn't been a dominating Valkyrie 
for very long. And eventually, the two of them wore Diana down until she 
grudgingly admitted that maybe it had been a mistake to send a man to do 
a woman's job. "I'll have to do it, then." 

So then the three of us tried to argue her out of it. "I'm bigger than 
you", said Vicky. "I should do it." Vicky was a few inches taller than 
the others, and seemed to have the knack of turning men into willing 
slaves, and that really made her suitable to be Fraulein Ingrid's 
replacement, but none of us thought she'd stand the slightest chance 
against the massive Fraulein Ingrid. Then my own Judy spoke up. "No, it 
has to be me. I'm the oldest, and I'm also the strongest." She was 
looking straight at Diana as she said it. I didn't like it, but I kept 
quiet; it isn't a good idea for men to get involved in arguments between 
Valkyries. Diana shook her head until her blonde hair flew around. 
"Strength isn't important, Judy." I never thought I'd hear a Valkyrie 
say that! "She's twice as strong as either of us, brute force isn't 
going to help here. It's got to be me. I'm the only one with experience, 
you two have only been Valkyries for a few months." I knew what she 
meant. They'd been Valkyries all their lives, but they'd only just 
admitted it, and therefore they were still learning what the remarkable 
Valkyrie body could do. "I can do things that neither of you can. And 
I'm more ruthless." I tried to melt back into Judy, I didn't like the 
sound of this. I mean, I knew she wasn't directing this at me, but it 
still scared me a bit. Judy sensed this, and wrapped her strong arms 
round me, and I felt a lot better. And then I spoke up. 

"Diana, they won't let you anywhere near her carrying Cat's Claw. They 
have metal detectors, and they're a lot more strict than in airports. We 
weren't even allowed to carry loose change. She knows she's a prime 
assassination target, and she takes paranoid precautions." "She let you 
get close enough to kill her, didn't she?" I blushed. I felt I'd really 
let Diana down on this, and I wished I'd had the courage to do the deed. 
Well, too late now. I couldn't face Fraulein Ingrid again, and anyway my 
lovely Judy wouldn't let me." Diana sat on the table, looking down at 
us. "I can't take her down with my bare hands. She's just too big and 
strong. Any ideas?" 

I nodded. A glass knife. I explained my idea. "Glass; if we use glass, 
it's a bit fragile, but it's very sharp. You wear that instead of Cat's 
Claw, and there's nothing that a metal detector can find. One slash with 
a glass knife, and you'll cut anything." 

Diana walked over to me, and pulled me out of Judy's arms. Judy 
reluctantly let go of me, as reluctant as I was to leave her protection. 
I wasn't sure how angry Diana still was, but I needn't have worried. 
Diana moved close to me, and hugged me. "You're brilliant, Michael. What 
would we do without you!" I almost purred, there's something about Diana 
that does something to me, and when she praises me like that, I kind of 
melt inside. And I suppose that's why I said the stupid thing I said 
next. 

"Fraulein Ingrid told me to visit her again tomorrow evening." "Great" 
said Diana. "That'll get me in, I'll come along too." "No way", said 
Judy. "He's not going anywhere near that female again. Look what she did 
to him before." And then Judy and Diana had a big fight about whether I 
was allowed to help Diana get in to see Ingrid. Both sides were 
absolutely adamant; Judy wasn't going to let me anywhere near that tower 
of female power, and Diana insisted that I was the key to the door. 
"Don't I get to say?" I asked, but they both just turned and glared at 
me. No, I guess I don't. 

Eventually, Diana won the argument, as Diana usually does. They 
compromised; I would go as far as the door, but not actually go inside, 
Diana would make sure of that. 

I felt much better after a good night's sleep in Judy's arms, knowing 
that two more Valkyries were bedded down nearby. There's nothing like a 
trio of Valkyries to give a man confidence, and there's nothing like a 
Valkyrie girlfriend to give a man a good time in bed. Judy did a very 
thorough job on me, two medium sized orgasms and one shattering climax, 
leaving me almost unconscious in her arms, and I very quickly drifted 
off. 

Why is it that Valkyries are so good at sex? I've heard stories about 
what Diana can do to a man, and I've personal experience of Vicky, and 
especially Judy. Even Fraulein Ingrid left me squealing with ecstasy. I 
think it's partly because they can hold you so helpless with their 
strong bodies, and it's partly because they have such a powerful grip 
with their vaginas. But I think there's more to it than that. I must 
talk about this with them some time, especially Diana, she might know. 

Next day, Vicky went out to buy a glass knife, and Judy and I went out 
to buy Diana a suitable outfit. We wanted something that would make her 
look pretty and non-threatening, so she'd have a good chance when she 
arrived with me at Fraulein Ingrid's. We wanted to get her past the 
guards that had frisked me. So we got her a thin silk blouse and a short 
satin skirt, which together made it quite obvious that underneath was 
nothing but Diana. And a big satin bow for her hair, to hide the knife. 

If I were being perfectly honest, I would have to say that Diana isn't 
pretty. Valkyries aren't pretty in the conventional sense, they don't 
have the fine facial bones and child-like face that makes for "pretty". 
I'd score her at maybe four or five out of ten; Judy a couple of points 
lower. But from the neck down, a Valkyrie is stunning; Diana's body is 
devastating, and Judy's even more so, in my opinion. So when a Valkyrie 
wants to look sexy, she tries to draw attention downwards, and Diana 
knew very well how to do this. 

She does it in three stages. In stage one, she uses her prominent 
breasts to draw the eyes down from her face. She wears a well-fitting 
blouse, so that her protruding nipples cause stress lines in the silk, 
pulling the eyes down to her chest. The stress lines then lead down to 
her waist, and she always wears a neat belt round it, to draw attention 
to how small it is. Not that Diana's waist is small; thirty four inches 
would be considered large on most women. But not on a Valkyrie, because 
that's small compared with what's above and below, and twelve inches of 
it comes from the two inch thick layer of muscle that surrounds their 
bodies. Even Judy's thirty-six inch waist looks small by comparison with 
her bust and hips. But then the eyes are drawn even further down by her 
figure-hugging short skirt, down to her thighs. And there your eyes 
stop, trying to come to terms with the thought that those thighs are 
even bigger than her waist, as big and hard as telegraph poles, and 
never mind about cracking walnuts, you wonder how long a coconut would 
last in that mighty nut-cracker. 

And Judy's the same only more so. Sorry, but I'm absolutely a fan of 
Valkyries, as is any other man who has anything to do with any of them. 

We turned up at Fraulein Ingrid's mansion the next day, Diana and I. She 
looked like some sort of sex toy, and I suppose I did too, from another 
point of view. We rang the bell, and the first pair of guards let us in. 
They weren't expecting Diana, but I said she was part of the visit, and 
they didn't seem to have any trouble persuading themselves that they 
ought to run their hands over her body to look for concealed weapons, 
concentrating especially on the possibility that she'd hidden something 
underneath or between her breasts. First one of the brutes checked her 
out, then the other, and I was amazed that she was able to keep cool. 
Normally, I'd expect Diana to explode in a flurry of action that would 
leave two unconscious men on the floor. But she knew that she had to 
hang on for the moment. 

Eventually, they stopped feeling her up, and we were allowed to go 
through the metal detector after they confiscated Diana's high heeled 
shoes. I suppose a stiletto heel is a kind of weapon. Neither of us 
triggered the metal detector, of course, we'd made sure that we weren't 
carrying any metal. That got us to the anteroom, where the two goons 
with machine guns stood, on either side of the door. 

"Hello, boys" smiled Diana, and reached out one arm to the sides of each 
of their heads. Then she pulled them inwards, there was a sharp "crack" 
as they met, and they sank to the ground. "Hang on, Diana", I said, and 
had a good look at those guns. No bullets. Rats. That would have made it 
*too* easy, I suppose. Then she stood aside while I did my part. 
Timidly, I knocked on the door, and a voice said "Ja?". I pushed it 
open, and walked in. Fraulein Ingrid was there, naked, standing up 
looking like a giantess towering above me, her head almost touching the 
ceiling. I felt really scared, remembering what she'd done to me last 
time, but at the same time aroused and excited. Suddenly I was hit from 
behind by a hurricane as Diana shot past me, pushing me to one side. I 
hit the wall, bounced off it, and sank to the floor. By the time I'd 
collected myself enough to know what was going on, there was a fight 
going on. 

Have you ever seen two Valkyries fight? No, I guess not, it's a pretty 
rare sight. The ones I know wrestle a bit with each other sometimes, but 
they're only playing. And they're usually far more interested in playing 
with men than with each other. Valkyries just aren't aggressive towards 
each other, usually. 

At first, Diana had the advantage of surprise; Ingrid was expecting to 
be playing with a helpless man, not fighting off an enraged hellcat. 
Diana hurled herself at Ingrid; she wanted to get close. Ingrid's longer 
arms could have held Diana off while beating her to a pulp, so Diana's 
plan was to get close in and try to cut her throat. She'd pulled the 
glass knife out from her hair, holding it her right hand, but Ingrid 
held her right wrist, and Diana couldn't bring it close enough to do any 
damage. I think that neither of them were really used to this sort of 
thing; when a Valkyrie fights a man, there's no contest. Diana strained 
to bring her knife hand closer to Ingrid, but Ingrid had a good grip on 
Diana's wrist, and suddenly spun her round and smashed her hand against 
the wall. Diana dropped the knife, and now they were even. 

Or rather they weren't. Ingrid had eighteen inches of height on Diana, 
and more than twice the weight and strength. And it was Valkyrie against 
Valkyrie, so Diana didn't have that advantage either. Now that she was 
disarmed, it surely would be only a matter of time before she was 
overwhelmed. 

Ingrid didn't let go of Diana's wrist when the knife dropped, and she 
twisted Diana's arm round and up, and I heard the sharp crack which 
meant that Diana's arm was broken, and so were our hopes of defeating 
Ingrid. I hoped she'd finish Diana quickly, because I didn't think Diana 
would give up easily. And then I hoped she wouldn't take too long about 
killing me, but I had a horrible feeling that I would be played with for 
a very long time. 

She let go of Diana, and threw her across the room. Diana bounced off a 
wall and fell to the floor, looking defeated. I looked up at Ingrid as 
she smiled down at both of us. She kicked Diana in the side of the knee 
with one of those massive legs, hard, and again I heard something break. 
Diana was crippled, finished. Ingrid smiled down at her, lying helpless 
on the floor. "So. You think you will kill me? Now your friend will feel 
pain, pain like he has never experienced, and for many weeks before his 
brain takes refuge in insanity." Oh shit. I looked across at the glass 
knife - maybe I could kill myself quickly? But Ingrid moved over to 
where I cowered on the floor, and with one hand, scooped me up. She 
lifted me up in the air, her huge hands round my chest, squeezing my 
ribs until they ground together. "Oh yes, my little one, I will have so 
much fun with you as your body disintegrates in my hands, and your mind 
disintegrates before my iron will." She shook me and my head felt like 
it was falling off. I closed my eyes, wishing that it would all be over, 
and thinking of the weeks of torture to come. 

I heard a blood-curdling scream, and guessed she'd kicked Diana again, 
but then she dropped me, and from the floor I saw an astonishing sight. 
Diana had gone into an insane berserker rage, and in spite of her broken 
knee and arm, had hurled herself across the room at Ingrid. She'd done 
this once before, I remembered, when she'd been strapped into a machine 
and left to die. A berserker feels no pain, acknowledges no injury. The 
berserker rage is a temporary insanity, when the mind drives the body to 
feats beyond what is normally possible, a sort of hysterical condition, 
giving the berserker double their normal strength. The only way to stop 
a berserker is to kill her, and if you don't, she'll kill every enemy in 
sight. 

Diana was on Ingrid's back, her legs wrapped round that thick waist. She 
was gripping hard with her legs, but Ingrid's massive layer of muscle, 
three inches thick at least, meant that Diana's legs weren't causing her 
any problems. The broken knee didn't seem to be making any difference, 
which is what you'd expect in a berserker, but the main effect of 
Diana's legs was to keep her in place on Ingrid's back. Diana's hands 
were reaching round Ingrid's neck, trying to get to the vulnerable place 
underneath her chin, but Ingrid had one hand on Diana wrists, and was 
stopping her from doing any damage. Her other hand was trying to 
dislodge Diana's legs, so that she could get her off her back. 

She couldn't use both hands against Diana's legs, because if she had, 
Diana's hands would have got to her throat. With one hand, she tried to 
unlink Diana's feet to break the grip that Diana had, but she needed two 
hands for that. So she tried smashing her fist against Diana's knee. 
Diana just screamed her battle-scream louder, a high, grating, ululating 
sound like a banshee. It certainly curdled my blood. 

So then Ingrid tried smashing Diana against the wall to get her off her 
back, but berserkers just don't feel pain or damage, and Diana was in a 
total berserker state. And I could see that her hands were getting 
closer to Ingrid's throat. Ingrid could feel this, too, so she abandoned 
her attempts to get Diana's legs from around her, and brought up her 
other hand to protect her throat. Diana's fingers were just touching her 
throat now, and if she got any closer, she'd be cutting off Ingrid's 
air. Diana shook herself, shaking Ingrid as well, and screamed that 
terrifying scream again, then she kicked inwards with her legs, smashing 
her heels against Ingrid's belly. Ingrid wasn't expecting that, but that 
three inch layer of muscle protected her very well, and by the time 
Diana repeated the kick, Ingrid's body was tensed hard against the blow, 
and her heels just bounced off. And now Ingrid was pulling Diana's hands 
away from her throat, even Diana's berserker strength wasn't enough to 
overcome the mighty Ingrid. 

Then I realised that there were actually three of us in that room, and 
although a man is helpless against a Valkyrie in raw strength, there's 
more to life than muscles. I scrambled across with where the knife lay, 
picked it up, and threw myself at Ingrid's body. She saw me coming and 
lifted one of those huge legs to kick me, and if that kick had landed, I 
would have been smashed to pulp. But Diana screamed her dreadful battle-
yell again, and threw herself sideways, breaking Ingrid's one-legged 
balance, and they both fell to the floor, Diana breaking Ingrid's fall. 

I would have thought that the fall would have broken Diana's grip, and 
were it not for the berserker state, I'm sure it would have. But Diana 
wasn't a human being any more, she was an automatic fighting machine, 
and she kept her leg hold round Ingrid's waist, and her hands were still 
pulling towards Ingrid's windpipe, gripping like a bulldog. Ingrid 
returned her attention to this threat, and I threw myself on top of the 
struggling Valkyries, still holding my crystal knife. To my horror, I 
landed between Ingrid's legs, and while she pulled Diana's hands away 
from her throat, she began to bring those nutcrackers together, saying 
"I'm not going to kill you, my sweet, I'm going to save you for later." 
My god, she hadn't seen the knife! 

Now I was desperate. I thought fast. If there's one thing that we 
academics can do, it's think. I could easily slash her belly, but that 
three inch layer of muscle would be a tough thing to cut, and it would 
stop me from reaching anything important. She'd hurt, and she'd bleed, 
but she'd know about the knife, and kill me quickly. I had one chance to 
disable her, and I'd better choose carefully. Her heart? No, dammit, 
that three inch layer of muscle would stop me getting as far as her 
ribcage, even. How do you stop a Valkyrie when all you have is a glass 
knife? From my position between her legs, I couldn't reach up as far as 
her throat, which would have been the ideal place to cut, but hang on, 
what about the original plan? 

I'd practised this with Judy. Judy's legs weren't as massive as 
Ingrid's, Judy was only thirty-eight inches around. But we'd had a lot 
of fun fooling around with each other, with me pretending to bite her, 
finding the huge thick artery that supplies blood to the leg muscles, 
the femoral, and giving it a good lick with my rough tongue. So I knew 
where to go, and I knew what to do, and it was her or me, no ethical 
problems here. I reached up and slashed; once, twice - left, right. And 
I was amazed at the gush of blood that pumped out of the biggest artery 
of the human body. I was soaked in it in a few seconds as the life 
poured out of her onto my body. I think she realised the danger she was 
in, because her legs immediately started to crush together, and I was 
squeezed into unconsciousness, and I thought that this was the end of my 
life. 

But I was wrong. She died fast enough to save my life. I woke up, and 
found I was having trouble breathing because of the weight on my chest. 
And I couldn't move, any movement was agony. I felt my broken ribs grate 
together as I tried to breathe shallowly, then I called "Diana". There 
was no answer. She was either dead, or in a berserker coma. Because 
there's a price that a berserker must pay. The stress on the human body 
is so great, that when the rage fades, the berserker falls into a coma, 
and stays unconscious for a long time. If the berserk rage has lasted a 
long time, the coma does too, and can even be the end of the berserker's 
life, if they starve or die of thirst. Of course, modern life 
preservation methods make that unlikely, but in Viking times, the cost 
of a berserker rage was often death. 

"Diana" I called again, as loud as I could, but there was no answer. I 
worked my hand down to my pocket, trying to ignore the messages of fire 
from my ribs. I pulled out the mobile phone, and called the flat. Judy 
answered. "Judy", I said weakly. "Please come. Please come quickly. 
Ingrid's dead, and I think Diana might be too." 

I didn't have long to wait. There were noises outside, probably the 
guards finding out that you don't say "no" to Judy, and then two 
Valkyries burst into the room. Judy screamed when she saw me crushed 
between Ingrid's legs, covered in blood, and lifted one of those massive 
limbs to release me. Then she knelt down and asked me where it hurt. 
Judy's a professional nurse. "I'm not too bad", I said, "this isn't my 
blood, it's hers. Look after Diana, she's in a bad way." Vicky dragged 
Diana out from under the dead Ingrid. "Careful" I said. "She's got a 
broken arm, a broken knee, and I don't know what else." Judy looked 
across at Diana, then back at me. Then she shook her head, muttered 
"triage", left me lying against one of Ingrid's legs, and had a look at 
Diana. "She's still alive, but only just. My god, look at these 
injuries. What happened here? No, tell me later. Vicky, call an 
ambulance." "No, Judy, we can't. I killed her. If the police come, there 
will be a big investigation." "So what? It was self defence, you've not 
got anything to worry about." "Yes, but the 2SS will go underground, and 
the links to Die Gelt will be cut. We've got to keep this quiet, if we 
can." "Don't be silly, Michael, you both need a hospital." "Maybe, but 
don't call an ambulance here. Anyway, I'm not too badly hurt, it's Diana 
I'm worried about." 

Judy came over to me again, and felt me all over. "Yuck" she said at the 
blood. "I thought nurses didn't mind a bit of blood?" "No, I don't, but 
this is a couple of gallons of the stuff. You cut her femoral artery?" 
"Both of them. I wanted it to be as quick as possible, since I was 
between her legs." Judy nodded. "Yes, that would be a plus." She felt me 
all over, and then said "You've got a broken rib or two, try to breathe 
shallowly, but you'll be all right." "Yes, I know that. What about 
Diana?" "I don't know, she's in some sort of coma." 

Then I realised that Judy had probably never encountered the berserker 
state before, so I explained what had happened physiologically, as far 
as I understood it. "The adrenal gland delivers a massive dose of 
adrenaline to the system, which increases the heart rate and blood 
pressure. Insulin production goes down, and blood sugar rises to 
abnormal levels, to supply the muscles with more blood containing more 
nourishment. That's what temporarily doubles the berserker's strength. 
This keeps going as long as the rage continues, but when all the enemies 
are killed, the berserker's body undergoes diabetic collapse. She's got 
broken bones; her arm and her knee at least, possible more. But the main 
danger is that coma. She has to be taken to a medical facility, and 
soon." "That's what I said", protested Judy. "Yes, but she doesn't need 
an ambulance, just a very quick transportation to a hospital. Vicky, you 
get a taxi. Judy, you pick up Diana and follow me." 

I have to confess, I'm not really comfortable giving orders to Valkyries 
like this, but I knew what to do, and they didn't. Fortunately, they 
didn't argue. Vicky flew out and stopped a cab; Judy carried Diana into 
it and I told her to contact me as soon as she knew where she was going. 
Then I ran a shower and washed all the blood off me, and there was 
rather a lot. Meanwhile, Vicky stripped one of the guards, so I'd have 
something clean to wear. 

And then I left her to deal with the mess, as we'd agreed all that time 
ago, all those miles away. "Vicky, you're the Fuhrer now. Make them obey 
you, and get them to clean up this mess. No police. No coroner. Dispose 
of the body, and make sure that the 2SS know who their new leader is." 
Vicky smiled. She knew very well how to impose her will on a bunch of 
men, she'd been looking forward to this part. "Don't worry, Michael. 
I'll have them eating out of my hand in no time." She licked her lips 
and smiled. I thought of the two dogs she'd left behind in England - I 
had no doubt of it. 

I got back to the flat, and changed out of that dramatic black uniform, 
just in time to pick up the phone. It was Judy, telling me which 
hospital she was at, and I told her I'd be right there. I wanted the 
reassurance of a Valkyrie's arms round me, and Judy was my preference. 

When I got to the hospital, and saw Diana, I was so scared. She looked 
like death. Judy told me that I was right, she was in an diabetic coma, 
but they knew how to treat that, it was fairly standard, and I shouldn't 
be too worried. But she also had two broken legs, her arm was broken in 
three places, a compound fracture of the elbow, and massive bruising on 
the body. "And that's before they've X-rayed her." I held Judy's hand, 
and shivered. "If she dies, it wasn't worth it." Judy agreed. "But she 
won't die, Michael. It'll take a few weeks, but she'll be fine." I 
thought about Vicky, taking over the 2SS from the top, using her 
Valkyrie strength to dominate the organisation. I moved closer to Judy, 
and she put an arm round me. "You'll see, Judy. When she wakes up, 
she'll be really pleased. We've succeeded; at a cost, but we'll turn the 
2SS back into a beer drinking club." "A Vicky-worshipping club, you 
mean." I laughed, and snuggled closer to Judy. "Oh, Judy, I don't know 
what we'll do if Diana ..." "Shush", she whispered. "Don't worry, she'll 
be fine." 

<Look out for the next part of this trilogy.> 



Diana the Valkyrie 
Email me at valkyrie@thevalkyrie.com
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