Lenny vs. Sara and Julie by MBP.
Comments by Near-Fatal Neville.

   MBP suggests that we can offer criticism, complaints and/or
compliments on his stories. I've had no luck with his e-mail address
(I'm making the rash assumption that MBP is male), so hope he'll see
this belated critique.
<< Since writing this review I have had some correspondence with
the author of the target piece and have updated this review to
add balance. >>
   Compliments, first: I have read more of MBP’s tales on the
DtV site than any of the other writers’ because more of
his trailer paragraphs appeal to me. I have no criticism of this
particular story, other than covered or implied below.
   Under Complaints: I myself have none but feel confident that a less
tuned-in adult might raise an eyebrow at the inclusion of characters
who could be considered under-age, even though the author is generally
careful to remain on the right side of a certain line. MBP almost
gives his terms of reference by proxy in another story, where a
character relishes seeing men being overpowered by smaller girls.
Nice idea, but I get nervous about having some stuff on my PC in an
age where any TV repair man with a Microsoft qualification seems to
be capable of un-deleting files.
<< I should like to add here that I do not believe this story to
be pornographic, nor the concept of men wrestling girls. I
personally prefer stories which, like this one, do not "step
across" into overt description, but that's just me. >>
   In general (while some of MBP’s shorter stories start and end
rather too quickly) like other authors on the site, MBP’s longer
tales tend to be well paced. These take time to establish the setting,
mood and characters, as opposed to launching impetuously into the
action, which itself tends to build up well and is described in
reasonable technical detail which adds authenticity. MBP also pursues
all avenues. If a victorious character has a mother, sister or friend,
she is likely to feature in a subsequent episode within the same
narrative. These facets are present in 'Lenny vs Sara and Julie'
which has a strange appeal because the content remains plausible
for a considerable stretch. The narrative up to and including the
girls’ initial challenge to Lenny is feasible. The circumstances,
conversation and reactions on both sides are reasonably realistic.
   The fated 27 year old is disadvantaged in a number of ways. He is
not on familiar territory; he does not fully know his opponents,
particularly Julie; he is outnumbered; and they use the element of
surprise when proving better than anticpated, both as a team and
individually. As ever, credibility curves downwards during the plot
but is counteracted by progression in self-contained steps.
<< The latter sentence is intended as a positive comment. >>
   How much is plausible? On the web there are smaller girls offering
sessions, who can certainly force a heavier man to submit, but these
tend to be experienced over-20s (and it is never really clear how much
the man has lain down). One British site claims at least one
"youngster" who can overcome men, but has an age caveat on an earlier
screen. There are a number of holds including judo moves which, once
applied, are hard to get out of, no matter who applies them. I can
believe that a girl who wrestles often would be difficult; and that
a determined, energetic girl, no matter how small, could squirm free
from holds and keep trying for a considerable time.
<< Again, these comments are meant to be positive. >>
   Whether an average man would react positively to the prospect
of such a match is more open to question, particularly in an age
where the slightest nuance is thrown open to scrutiny.
<< This is not a comment on the writer, nor anyone who enjoys
this type of story and the concepts entailed. By average, I do
not mean "sexually straight as a die". In fact, to be described
by me as non-average can be taken as a compliment. >>
In most stories I have seen, the men rate themselves highly
before the contest, are surprised and annoyed when overcome
and cowed when beaten. Lenny more or less conforms to this.
There is usually (in stories by most authors) no indication
that the loser actually enjoys being trounced, the anticipation
of which would be a real reason for succumbing to the challenge
and the opponents' capabilities. At the risk of stating the
obvious, it is the willing reader who displays these traits,
rather than the victim. Lenny does show one trace of "m" in
readily taking up Julie’s gauntlet after having already been
rolled over by Sara, thus moving towards the (by now) inevitable
second defeat. At this point against a much smaller girl,
credibility would normally have dipped to its lowest, especially
since the contest takes place in a secluded field, the stuff
of fantasy.
<< ... and I agree that the writing is intended as fantasy. I
respect and support the writer's insistence on writing about
what he likes. >>
   A double-cream read, though. More please, MBP, in the category of
two-on-one, two-on-two, etc. You might begin by enhancing the second
fall of your three-on-three tale on TheValkyrie. Far from being
anticlimatic, I always feel that the latter fall of a two-straight
win is the one that underlines total fem superiority.
<< The ad! Read 'Extra Lessons' on the Diana story site! >>
I would be pleased to hear from any reader with genuine
evidence/proof that the types of scenario covered by MBP in
these two tales have taken place.
<< This was not me scoffing at inauthenticity. Rather, it is
me living in hope!! >>
Best wishes NFN