Amator Contest

Amator Contest, where a lucky winner could have a story, created by yours truly, based on their input.


Greetings all,

Welcome faithful readers, I have great news. I'm running a contest to
see who can spot the most mistakes based on facts found in some of my
previous stories.  In the story below, I will intentionally put in a
number of discrepencies that differ from the already written stories,
adding non-sensical circumstances. For example, I will begin the story
mentioning our dear Dr. Amador, (Whoops, that should be Amator), you
get the point. It could be differences in name, spelling, description,
or setting.  It could also be differences within this newly created
story, or an intentional typo. You get extra points if you can
recognize bad puns.  I will tell you that they'll be more than 25 and
less than a gazillion errors. The winner will have their name (or one
they choose) included as a major character in my next story. You could
be a star! <G> If you're the winner, you get to choose the plot,
setting, characteristics, vital stats, and several friends of the
character. I'll try to make a cohesive story, adding humor or pathos as
needed. I may even throw in a song (I may ask you for a song you really
like, and if I know it, I can add lyrics based on thoughts that you
provide). The contest ends one week after publication of this posting
at midnight CST, USA. Please feel free to write me with any comments.
To refresh your memory, the stories can be found at
http://www.thevalkyrie.com/stories/pardo/index.htm (Thanks, Diana)

Good Luck,

J. Pardo at libguy3@yahoo.com

This story does have sexual references, innuendoes really, that might
have made Queen Victoria blush.

Dr. Musculata Amador stood at the door of his Institute. The Institute
for Biceptical Studies admiring the scenery. His wife, Mary, hadn't
arrived yet, and he was impatient to be begin. He needed his 7ft. wife
to act as a conduit for an electrical experiment he was conducting. He
had asked his assistant Sath and Sath's wife Lisa, to bring cable over
from his Psychiatric hospital, St. Humidor's. He was going to determine
once and for all whether his strehgth inducing bacteria would heal
electricutions. He experimented on lab rats and the results were
shocking.  When treated with Lisade, the butter made from Lisa's milk,
the rats grew to the size of mice. He knew he had found the secret to
eternal youth. Marie finally came in. He asked her to sit down and hold
the cable, and then he zapped her with static electricity. The current
travelled through her fingers and shot out through her small breasts,
right into Dr. Asator. He fell forward grabbing her massive mammaries
and steadied himself. He saw changes in Mari almost immediately. She
had grown 4 feet. He thought he should try amputation to get rid of the
extra appendages, but she might return the favor chopping off his
appendages, take him to court and he wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
The changes occurring within himself were astounding. He became like a
large tree, with huge 20 inch arms for limbs. He became barrel-chested,
and from his trunk sprouted an elephantine-trunk, eager to do its own
probing. Marina was happy to be the probee, and sent shivers up his
nerve trunk. He was thirsty so he drank some water, barley hops, wheat,
brewer's yeast, and rye. It fermented in his barrel-chest (some weeks
later someone tapped him on the stomach and out came brown, foaming,
liquid. A friend grabbed a large stein and tried to get it all, but it
more than he could beer.)

Sath and Lisa's children, Asamuth and Lizatorine, had just arrived at
the Institute. Releasing Asador's trunk, Martina, went out to greet
them. "Hello, my loved ones, how are my grandchildren today?", Marisa
asked. Before the kids had a chance to answer, Amapor arrived. "Now,
dear, that shock must have fried your brain, you know this is our niece
and nephew", Amastad continued turning to the children, "So, how are
your parents, Soth and Losa?" "Fine, I guess", Azmat said, "they wanted
you to know that they got mixed up and hooked the cable up to the
television instead of the Electrostatic converter. They were just
watching 'Animal Planet'." "Well, that explains the trunk", Amafraid
said. "So, Lizatoreador, I hear you're getting married", Amasot said.
"How did you know? I just told my parents!", Lizard said. "Hey, I read
the new stories on Diane the Valkyrie's website, just like any other
red-blooded, muscle-loving man", Amasnorer said, proud of his
affiliation. "Oh, yeah", Lizadorito said, "I guess my life is an open
book." "I'm going to strangle that Eroc", Lizarmadillo thought, "that
part wasn't supposed to be included."

Later, Theresa visited Venice where the Institute is. She greeted Dr.
Amatoad with a hug. "My, how you've grown!", Amasteed said. It had been
40 years since he'd seen his young friend. "So, how are you and Elric
doing?", he asked with concern. "I've come for your help. After we made
love, Erock told me that he was scratched by a mean, ugly, woman who
looked like a bird, I hope I don't have harpies", she said, knowing how
flightly women can get if they have it. After examining her, Amabadboy
said, "All the tests are negative, but take these two Lisemonade pills,
and call me in the morning and stay away from any birdseed for awhile."
"Thank you, Doc", Terantula said, "I knew you could help me," then she
took a cronocab back home. 

Dr. Amanot got another visitor. Rosette stopped in carrying Johann on
her back. Since she worshipped the ground he walked on, she didn't want
to have to keep bending over, so it was easier to carry him. Rosette
got so big by being exposed to Lambda radiation given off by a comet
which dropped near her school.  In for her annual checkup, Rosita had
her breasts examined to see if they still sucked blood when she was
stressed. The doctor passed a bat in front of her and she was so
frightened that her breasts clamped on to it as it was passing by and
drained it. She had passed with flying colors (red, mostly).

Dr. Amatoo had had a long eventful day. He was glad his strength-giving
mushrooms had been so useful to so many people. The mushrooms
symbolized what he wanted to be known as, a real fun guy.

Thus ends this incredibly stupid story, meant to confuse and otherwise
challenge my readers to find the numerous errors intentionally placed
there.

Any takers?

J. Pardo, libguy3@yahoo.com






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