Amazonomachy - Chapter 8 - My Mistress Tells Her Story
by Nerraw
The Amazon fights the Jarl and several of his men.

Queen Andromache had sent forth a war party of ten Amazons to deal with
the fifty men who were reported to be ravishing the countryside near the 
northern border of the Amazon Nation. Glouce or the "Owl" was the leader 
of this band of warrior women. Also on this expedition besides myself was 
Iphito or "Shield Strength, Barkida, Areto or "Unspeakable" Ainippe or 
"Swift Mare, Kydoime, Telepyleia or "Far Sailing", Teisipyle, and 
Andromeda or "Ruler of Men" who is the High Priestess of Artemis the 
great war Goddess of the Amazons. Most of us women were somewhat sullen 
since it seemed that there would not be more than about five men for each 
woman to slay upon the field of battle

We learned that a village near the northern border had been ravaged by 
these brutal men. The men of this village had all been slaughtered and 
the women had all been raped and murdered. As we stealthily approached 
the village, we saw that the men of Att-Dak the Barbarian were camped in 
front of a row of twenty huts. There were about fifty barbarian warriors 
in this encampment. We were enraged when we saw that the headless bodies 
of the women and men of this village were all hanging upside down from 
trees nearby. The right breast of every woman had been cut off in order 
to make a tobacco pouch out of it. This practice of these vile men is 
what has given rise to the false notion that us Amazons cut off our right 
breast in order to facilitate the use of weapons

We immediately knew that these men had set a trap for us. For it is the 
custom of such men to immediately flee from the scene of their vile 
crimes against the women of the Amazon nation. Men of their ilk have not 
the courage to face an Amazon woman in fair combat upon the field of 
battle. Barbarians always burn the huts of the village that they have 
ravaged to the ground. There could have been only one reason that these 
huts had not been burned, and that was because there had to have been men 
hiding in them. We estimated that there were at least a hundred more men 
hiding inside the huts. These men had thought that they were so clever to 
have laid this trap for us. But they had overlooked two obvious things 
that had enabled us to instantly see through their battle plan! Thus they 
proved once again that the brain of a man is inferior to the brain of a 
woman

So as we attacked the men of Att-Dak the Barbarian, the first thing that 
we did was to set fire to the huts. The sound of men screaming in terror 
from inside the burning huts was as music to our ears. The scanty 
clothing of many of these men were on fire as they ran from the huts in 
panic. Their discipline had crumbled and men ran every which way in 
confusion. Us Amazons came among these men even as a pride of Lioness 
would come among a herd of sheep

As the first man come running from one of the burning huts I was waiting 
for him. He was a brutal warrior known as Ror-Dak the Red, who was the 
eldest brother of Att-Dak the Barbarian.    Ror-Dak the Red had boasted 
of how many Amazon women that he was going to kill this day. He had 
charged at me swinging his sword wildly. He had decided that I would be 
his first kill. But I had other plans. I had parried the very first      
stroke of his sword with my labrys, and at the same time I delivered a 
devastating snapping kick to his testicles. As the big man had doubled 
over in pain, I ruthlessly dispatched him with just one deft stroke of my 
war ax. The big brute collapsed at my feet and lay upon his side. I 
placed my foot on his shoulder and I rolled him over on his back. I 
triumphantly placed my foot upon the chest of my vanquished male foe, and 
I raised my double edged war ax high in the air in a victory salutation 
to the Goddess Artemis. Ror-Dak the Red was now Ror-Dak the Dead

But I had not long to revel in my triumph over the brutal warrior,    
Ror-Dak the Red. For two more men, who's names I know not, had come 
running from the hut. They had witnessed the ferocity with which I had 
dispatched him. And thus these two men had approached me with the 
intention of avenging his death

I had parried the stroke of the first warrior with my labrys, and at the 
same time, I kicked him in the nuts. Then as he had doubled over in pain, 
I had dispatched him exactly as I had just done to Ror-Dak the Red. The 
big man spun around one hundred and eighty degrees and then he went down 
on his hands and knees. I placed one foot upon his buttocks and I shoved 
him forward so that he fell face down upon the carcass of Ror-Dak the 
Red. And there he died

I parried the sword of the next warrior with my war ax. Now this man had 
seen how I had followed such a parry by kicking the first two men in 
their testicles. So just as I had parried the stroke of his sword with my 
labrys, he had guarded his family jewels with his left hand. I delivered 
a kick so that my heel struck him right under his chin with such force 
that I had broken his neck. The barbarian warrior fell dead upon the 
bodies of his two companions

Just then a man named Mor-Dok the Mighty had leaped over the bodies of 
the three men that I had slain swinging his sword like a mad man while 
doing a flip in mid air. But all of his fancy maneuvering was for naught. 
For just as he landed on his feet, I buried my war ax in his skull, 
killing him almost instantly. My labrys was pulled from my grasp as the 
dead man fell back upon the pile of men that I had killed

I had leaped up into the air, and doing a DOUBLE FLIP, I landed on top of 
the pile of men that I had killed. I placed my foot upon Mor-Dok's 
massive chest, and I had raised my clenched fists high in the air in 
token of victory

Two more barbarian warriors approached me as I stood upon the pile of men 
that I had slain. I stood with both my feet upon the chest of Mor-Dok the 
Mighty as I pulled upon the handle of my ax while pretending that I was 
unable to retrieve it from the skull of my kill. This is an old Amazon 
trick that I had learned when I was a student at the school of 
Amazonjitsu. One of the two warriors approached me from behind with the 
intent of striking me in the back. But just as this cowardly warrior was 
about to strike me from behind, I pulled my labrys from the skull of my 
male enemy. At the same time I did a double backwards flip into the air 
and I landed on my feet behind the warrior, and I took off his head with 
just one deadly stroke of my war ax. The headless carcass fell forward on 
top of the pile of men that I had killed

When the second warrior saw both the amazing skill and the ferocity with 
which I had slain his companion, his courage had fled from him even as a 
jackal would flee from the fierce tigress in the jungle. He turned and 
began to flee from me in terror. But the terrified man did not get far 
when I flung my ax at him with all of my might. The war ax whirled 
through the air and then buried itself in the back of the big man's 
skull. The barbarian warrior fell upon his face to the ground, and then 
he flipped end over end. He came to rest laying flat upon his back. His 
head was turned to the side so that the handle of the ax that was still 
embedded in the back of his skull stuck out to the side of his body

At this point Bull-Tok the Brutal saw that I was unarmed and he foolishly 
concluded that I would thus be easy prey. And thus he launched his brutal 
attack upon me. But I ducked under the stroke of his sword with amazing 
agility. I seized his sword hand in that painful wrist lock that I had 
learned when I was a student at the school of Amazonjitsu, and I threw 
him to the ground. And I placed my foot upon Bull-Tok's neck, and I took 
his sword from him. And I slew him with his own sword

And so I had taken the sword of Bull-Tok the Brutal, and I used his sword 
to fight other men upon the field of battle. First I faced three men who 
had been friends of Bull-Tok the Brutal. These men had witnessed the 
ruthlessness with which I slew him, and they advanced upon me with the 
intention of avenging his death. I had parried the stroke of the first 
warrior with my sword, then I had struck off his head with the back 
swing. This is a favorite Amazon fighting technique, and many a macho 
warrior has lost his head by it. As his severed head fell at my feet, I 
placed my foot upon it in order to prevent it from rolling away

As I stood with one foot placed firmly upon the severed head of my eighth 
kill, the two remaining men had advanced upon me with a skilled well 
coordinated and well timed attack. As both men advanced upon me 
simultaneously from two different directions, it seemed impossible that I 
could avoid being killed by at least one of them

I kicked the head that my foot was placed upon so that it struck one of 
the two advancing men in the face. At the same time, I struck aside the 
thrusting sword of the other warrior, and I angled my blade up under his 
ribs so that it pierced his heart. As the man who had been struck in the 
face by the severed head still staggered backwards stunned, I had 
advanced upon him and I had struck his sword from his limp hand. A 
devastating tornado kick to his face laid him flat on his back as though 
he had been struck by the fist of the great Goddess Artemis herself

At this point I could have taken this man as my property and my slave, 
but the battle rage was upon me. With a savage battle cry, I had leaped 
high into the air. And doing a triple somersault, I came down on top of 
my enemy, and holding my sword in a reverse grip, I drove my blade to the 
hilt into his chest. I then planted my foot on his massive chest as I 
tried to pull the sword from his lifeless carcass. But the blade broke 
off at the hilt and the sword was useless

So I approached the carcass of the man who still had my war ax embedded 
in the back of his skull. His head was still turned to the side so that 
the handle of the ax stuck out to the side of his body. I planted my foot 
upon the dead man's chest, and I reached down and I grabbed hold of the 
handle of my labrys. As I pulled up on the handle of my ax, his head was 
twisted until it was turned face down. There was an audible crack as I 
twisted his head until his neck had snapped like a dried out twig, and 
with my foot still placed upon his chest, I pulled my ax from his skull.

I had just barely retrieved my ax from the skull of my kill when yet 
another man attacked me. I parried the stroke of this man's sword with my 
labrys. At the same time I kicked him in the testicles and he doubled 
over and began to vomit up his breakfast. I grabbed my much larger male 
foe by the hair of his head and I pulled him down on his knees. I pulled 
his head down and forward and it took just one deft stroke of my war ax, 
and I held his severed head in my hand

The headless carcass had fallen forward and then it had rolled over on 
it's back where it lay spread eagled upon the ground at my feet. I placed 
one foot upon the chest of the headless carcass as I studied the 
expression of sheer terror that was frozen upon the dead man's face with 
great satisfaction. Once again I had but a moment to revel in my victory 
before it was necessary for me to fling the severed head into the face of 
yet another male enemy who was attacking me

This warrior staggered backwards stunned as he was struck in the face by 
the severed head. Then his hard erection popped out from under his loin 
cloth revealing that he had the intention of raping me. Just as he took a 
step forward, I took off his head with just one deft stroke of my ax. The 
man's severed head popped about three feet up in the air while spinning 
several times. Then the head fell to the ground and it rolled to my feet. 
The headless carcass just stood there while the blood had spurt up into 
the air from his severed neck, and the sperm had spurt up into the air 
from his still erect penis like twin geysers

At last I raised my leg and I had shoved my foot against the chest of the 
headless carcass causing it to topple over. "Fall down you dumb headless 
bastard!", I cried, "Are men so stupid that they don't even know enough 
to fall down when they are dead?" It was the intention of the great 
Goddess Artemis that a man should fall down when he is dead. For how else 
could the woman who slew him place her foot upon his chest as she raises 
her arm high in the air in a victorious salutation to her goddess? At 
this point I had achieved a body count of a dozen men, and the day wasn't 
over yet

I did not have long to revel in my victory over this dumb headless 
bastard before yet another barbarian warrior had challenged me upon the 
field of battle. I picked up a spear that was laying on the ground, and I 
flung it at this warrior with all of my might. It was with great skill 
that this bold warrior had deflected the spear with his sword sending it 
flying high into the air. Then it was with a great deal of confidence 
that this warrior had approached me with his blade poised for the killing 
blow

But I performed a forward somersault and I skillfully hooked the man's 
ankle with the blade of my ax, and I had pulled him off of his feet, and 
he went down on his back. But before I could dispatch this man, he did a 
backwards somersault and he came back up on his feet. I could clearly see 
that this man was by far the most skilled warrior that I had yet 
encountered upon the field. I quickly stooped down and I struck at his 
knees, but this man had skillfully blocked the blow of my war ax with his 
sword. The man and I had exchanged thrusts, strokes, and parries for 
nearly ten minutes, and neither one of us was able to win the victory 
over the other. I had grudgingly admired this male enemy that I faced 
upon the field. And yet I was determined that I was going to slay him, 
and that I was going to take his testicles as a trophy upon the field of 
battle

At last I had managed to fake this man out with a very clever maneuver. I 
began to alternately strike at him from the right and left sides with a 
figure eight striking pattern of my labrys. I continued this for about 
half a dozen times until the man had become accustomed to this pattern 
and until he began to anticipate each blow. At last when I had struck a 
blow from the right, instead of following with an expected blow from the 
left, I had spun around three hundred and sixty degrees, and I had struck 
a second blow from my right. The barbarian warrior had parried to my left 
expecting an attack from that direction. The man barely had time to form 
an expression of shock and terror upon his face before I dealt him a 
savage blow of my war ax from my right, killing him almost instantly

As this man began to fall to the ground, his sword arm had somehow become 
entangled in the tree branches above him. Thus this man did not fall to 
the ground as was expected of him, but he had just limply hung there from 
one arm. I was greatly angered that this man that I had fairly slain in 
single combat upon the field of battle, should somehow manage to cheat me 
of my Goddess given right to place my foot upon his chest and to raise my 
war ax high in the air in token of victory. "FALL DOWN!", I had cried 
angrily, "You male chauvinist pig! FALL DOWN!" At the same time, I had 
stomped my foot against his chest with such force, that his arm was 
dislodged from the tree branches overhead, and he toppled to the ground 
and rolled over three or four times before he came to rest laying on his 
side. I rolled him over on his back beneath my foot, and it was with 
great pride that I placed my foot upon the broad muscular chest of this 
mighty warrior. I raised my war ax high in the air and I uttered a savage 
cry of victory

It was this savage cry of victory that had attracted the leader of this 
sorry band of male scum, and he approached me with the intention of 
avenging the death of his mightiest warrior. Unlike other men that I had 
faced upon the field, Jarl Ogerson fought with a peculiar style and with 
a sword in each hand. I parried the stroke of his sword with my labrys. 
Jarl Ogerson immediately struck at me with his other sword, and I leaped 
back just barely in time. His sword grazed my left breast drawing blood. 
The massive Jarl struck at me again with his right sword. I parried his 
sword stroke with my labrys and before he could strike with his left, I 
moved up close to him and inside the strike of his left sword. At the 
same time, I drove my knee up into his testicles with devastating impact

I howled in pain. The big man's nuts were protected by a metal cup that 
had been especially made for that purpose. I quickly moved away from him. 
I was limping badly upon my injured knee

The huge warrior swung first his right sword at me followed by his left. 
His right sword had sent my war ax spinning from my fist. Because of my 
injured knee, I was unable to move quickly enough to avoid the stroke of 
his left sword. So the only way that I could avoid being struck by him 
was to fall upon my back to the ground

Before I could get back on my feet, Jarl Ogerson stepped forward and he 
placed his massive foot heavily upon my breast. I could not move because 
I was pinned to the ground beneath the rough callused foot of this brutal 
Barbarian warrior. So great was the weight of his foot upon my breast 
that I was unable to breathe. He was slowly crushing the life out of me. 
There was a mad evil expression of gloating triumph upon his brutal face 
as Jarl Ogerson raised his blade to strike the killing blow

I drew my dagger and I flung it up at him with all of my might. My aim 
was perfect and the weapon struck the Jarl point first right under his 
chin. The blade went up behind his jaw bone, through the roof of his 
mouth and penetrated his brain. The warrior's brutal eyes glazed over in 
death, and he fell over on his side, and then he rolled over onto his 
back and he lay spread eagled upon the field

Still dazed, I crawled over to the body of my vanquished enemy and I 
pulled my dagger from under his chin. I wiped my blade clean on his hairy 
chest and then I hacked off his head with one of his own swords. I 
struggled to my feet, and I was barely able to stand upon my injured leg. 

By this time, the other nine Amazons of my war party had killed all of 
the remaining men. They were just standing there watching the final 
battle between Jarl Ogerson and myself. They gave me a thunderous ovation 
as I placed one foot upon the massive chest of his headless carcass and I 
uttered an exalted cry of victory as I held the head of Jarl Ogerson high 
in the air for all to see

I had instinctively recognized that this man was a Jarl and that he was 
the leader of all of these men. But it is not until after I return to 
Themiscrya that my faithful slave Bar-Tok the Beaten identifies the head 
of this man as that of the mighty Jarl Ogerson. It gives me much pleasure 
to know that I had deprived the evil Warlord Att-Dak the Barbarian of his 
mightiest general

Our leader Glouce, the Owl, had killed eighteen men upon the field of 
battle. Iphito or "Shield Strength, slew eleven men, Barkida, slew 
sixteen men, Areto or "Unspeakable" Ainippe or "Swift Mare", Kydoime, and 
Telepyleia or "Far Sailing" each slew fifteen men, Teisipyle slew eight 
men, Andromeda or "Ruler of Men" killed twenty men, and I had achieved a 
body count of fourteen men, including the mighty Jarl Ogerson. The final 
score had been Amazons one hundred forty seven and Barbarians nothing

We allowed about seven men to flee in terror from the field of battle so 
that they may return to their homeland and tell the tale of our glorious 
victory over the men of Att-Dak the Barbarian. We Amazons believe that as 
the word spreads throughout the Male Chauvinist Empire of how an army of 
one hundred and forty seven men were slain by a mere ten Amazons, that it 
will have a demoralizing effect upon these men. The forces of male 
supremacy will be even further demoralized when they hear of how their 
mightiest champion, Jarl Ogerson, was slain by a woman's hand. Men who 
would force the free women of the Amazon Empire to wear the chains of 
male domination and oppression will now greatly fear us. Many such men 
will be afraid to come here and to rape and murder the daughters of the 
Amazon Nation

Each warrior woman drew her dagger, and we all reaped our harvest of 
testicles. Then each Amazon placed her foot upon the chest of one of the 
many men that she had slain upon the field of battle. Once again I placed 
my foot upon the massive chest of Jarl Ogerson's headless carcass and I 
held his severed head high in the air in my right hand and I held his 
severed testicles high in the air in my left hand. Our Captain, Glouce 
the Owl, lead us in a glorious paean of victory to our Goddess. This has 
been a glorious day of victory for the daughters of the Amazon Nation, 
and a humiliating day of defeat for the forces of male supremacy