With a BIG thankyou to Gary Pranzo and GTS Zone Studios for the use of a vidcap from the forthcoming Beginning Of The End movie-

Behold a city- A huge 600 square-mile sprawling metropolis, home to more than six and a half million people.

But wait- Where is everyone? The streets are deserted- Not a single car moves across the city's normally choked roads- Not a train, or bus or taxi stirs-

The entire population is either huddled around their television sets or providing a capacity crowd at Wembley Stadium. For this afternoon the city of London plays host to the BIGGEST wrestling match of all time! The beautiful auburn giantess Lady Lisa is fighting her latest challenger and local boy, The Mole.

COMPERE:

The fight is being brought to you by live by the Giantess Shrine and the BBC. Your commentators are Mr Sean Connery and Mr Hugh Grant.

SEAN:

Yesh! No bloody frog to shteel my limel.. my limel-to get in the bloody way.

HUGH (Shifting in his seat slightly):

Yes, good evening ladies and gentlemen.

SEAN:

'n' you can shut up, Mr Huge whatever-your-name-ish. I'm shenior man here. Shavvy?

HUGH (Shifting again):

Oh, yes quite. I'm, er, totally in your hands-

COMPERE:

To give you a giantess-eye view of the action, we have with us this evening Miss Michelle Norkett aboard the Goodyear Blimp! At 6'3", Michelle is a near giantess herself! Can you hear me Michelle?

MICHELLE:

Yes. Hello everyone. Well, I'm used to looking down on men, but never like this. I'm now getting a real Lady Lisa's-eye view of you all and I have to say she's one lucky giantess. You all look so small down there.

HUGH (Squirming):

Oh- and what do you think of - ah! Lisa's decision to go blonde for this match, Michelle? Oooh!

SEAN (Interrupting):

I've got a thing for blondesh- 'though I'm happy to give it to brunettesh as well- or redheadsh.

MICHELLE (Choosing to ignore that remark):

It's a bold move, but I'm sure Lisa's fans will love her just the same.

HUGH (Squirming again):

Argh! No sign of the contestants ooooh- coming up?

Boom-

(The thunderous noise is apparent to everyone as the small airship carrying Michelle Norkett slowly turns in a circle scanning the horizon for a sight of the oncoming giantess)

MICHELLE (Looking out of the cabin at the enormous pink expanse that fills her view):

Oh my God! You've never seen-! She must be-! Go up, up! Get above her!

(It takes some time for the airship to climb up past Lisa's stomach, past two silver-encased breasts that dwarf even the airship itself, and finally past her smiling, jovial-face, framed by the golden waterfall that is her hair)

(Lisa steps carefully over a row of tiny buildings that lie between her and the stadium and a short step later she stands in the centre of the stadium's playing field. One immense foot crashes down onto the wrestling ring erected there, covering and obliterating it totally- and without trace)

('Another One Bites The Dust' roars out of the stadium's speakers as Lisa makes her dramatic entry. She looks down at the wildly cheering crowds and begins to blow them kisses)

SEAN (Eyes wide, and dropping his glass with a crash):

Oh no! It's not poshible!

HUGH (Eyes tight shut and with a tight grip on the arms of his chair):

Oh yes! YES!

('We Are The Champions' replaces the previous Queen track to herald the arrival of the contender, and Lisa looks down for a first look at her opponent- and looks- and looks-)

LISA (Gazing down at the tiny stadium around her feet):

Well! Where are you, Moley? I'm all ready and waiting for ya- Come on, give me your best shot.

(The sound of 'We Are The Champions' fades away, and still the latest contender had not put in an appearance. Liz Hurley stands up from below Hugh Grant's desk, as his head flops back moaning)

LIZ:

You see. That's how its done properly- (Then she turns toward the window and looks up, and up, and-). Oh, she's- here- Wowww!

SEAN (Noticing Liz for the first time):

Wow! Where did you shpring from, young lady?

LIZ:

Just reminding my boyfriend of a little lesson that's all. Wow, she is big, isn't she?

SEAN:

Oh, shize dusn't matter (Looks down for a moment). It really dusn't- Wudn't bovver me- I could take her on wiv one hand tied behind my back. Why, wiv an Aston Martin 'n' a case full o' money I've-

LIZ (Pushing the dazed and maniacally smiling Hugh out of his seat and taking his place):

Thankyou Sean-! Do you think he's coming?

SEAN (Looking down at Hugh):

Wot again?

LIZ (Looking cross):

No! This Mole person. He seems to be taking his time- I think he's turned chicken.

SEAN (Confused):

Sho, he wus a Mole. Now he's a chicken-

LIZ:

Shut up! (Then turns to the microphone) Michelle. Liz Hurley here. I think The Mole's run away. But Sean's willing to take his place-

(The small airship carrying Michelle Norkett flies over to a spot beside Lisa's ear, and a loudhailer extends from beneath)

MICHELLE:

Hello, Lisa. Michelle here. It appears you've been stood up. The Mole's run off.

LISA (Looking very annoyed):

WHAT? No one stands me up! No one! I stand up other people. Sometimes I stand up on other people! But no one stands me up! It took me hours to get Number 10 to get my hair just right. And the Masked Collager did a wonderful job on my nails. No! I'm not having this-

MICHELLE:

Er- and the stadium wants to know who's paying for all this-

(Lisa reaches out and grasps the airship in one hand as if it were a small balloon, threatening to pop it with her overwhelming strength, even without meaning to)

LISA (Even more annoyed):

Tell them they'll have to wait. Otherwise I'll demolish their twin towers for them early - like at the next board meeting! Now someone! FIND ME THAT MOLE!

MYSTERY VOICE:

I'll find him, your Ladyship!

(All eyes turn to the previously silent pilot of the airship)

LISA:

Alex Zander!!!

MICHELLE

The Phantom Knight!!!

ISM (With Antman and Number 10, down amongst the crowd):

Alex Startfighter-

NUMBER 10:

Don't you mean Starfighter?

ISM:

I know what I mean-

ALEX:

The three and only! Fear not, Lady. I shall find this rogue. For he is in league with mine enemies- (The Phantom Knight concentrates for a moment)

ISM:

What did you do that for?

NUMBER 10:

I don't know. It just happened-

(The Phantom Knights skillfully banks the airship around and flies off toward the stadium car park, the lovely Michelle forced along for the ride. As Alex expects, there is a single car exiting the car park at a fast pace-)

ALEX:

I see him. Wait a moment- this thing isn't as nimble as my T-65- He's heading into the city-

LISA:

Stay with him! I'm coming!

LIZ:

Hello Lisa! Do you want me to send Sean into the ring? You'd better go and get ready Sean, just in case. It's a good job you volunteered to stand in- Sean-? Sean-?

(Liz looks round at the empty seat beside her)

To be continued in the third (And hopefully final) part imaginatively titled - Lady Lisa vs The Mole Part 03.