Confessions of Jenny by Shade What it feels like to be a STRONG middle aged mother. My name is Jenny. I am 45 years old, I have two children and a wonderful husband, I wear a thong bikini and am continually being hit on by 20 year old men... none of whom could take me if I didn't want them to. But I want you to know that it hasn't always been this way. As a matter of fact, this has only been for the last few years. This story really begins about five years ago, just after I turned 40. You know the "mid life crisis." There was nothing wrong with how things were going, and I was just 40. I looked OK, I felt OK, and did not really have any problems...I was just 40 and began to think about 50, 60 and so on. I wanted to change but I didn't know what. I guess out of frustration, I joined the local gym. Nothing spectacular, just a few aerobics classes and such. After about six months of this, I was beginning to firm up, feel better and look better, but I was still just a 40-year-old in better shape. Because of the results I was getting, I thought I might try some weights. I had watched some of the other girls who had been on light weights for several years and though they looked good and what the heck . . . it certainly couldn't hurt. Well I started. After about six months, I was noticing a real difference in my body. My arms and legs were more shapely my stomach was flatter and . . . I was stronger. My body looked like I had been doing aerobics all my life. But I was still a 40-year-old but now in excellent shape and I still wanted more. Back at the home front, Joe, my husband, is really enjoying this. You know how men are, they are sight driven. This is why, I suppose, that Playboy and other such magazines do so well. And for Joe, my body was beginning to look more and more like what he saw in those magazines. Needless to say, he encouraged me every step of the way. You know I mentioned that I was stronger from the weights. Well Joe had noticed that too. I'm not sure how he felt about it. You know male ego and all, but he continued to support me. After all why shouldn't he. Even though I was getting stronger, I was by no means a threat to him. I suppose at that time if we had arm wrestled, it would have taken him an additional three seconds to pin me because of my gains. By now I'm over 41, well over 41 and I just haven't seen the changes in my life that I am looking for. I go to work, I come home and I keep up with a family. Joe has sex and I participate. I work in the community and go to church. I'M OVER 40! I decided that I would try something really different for me. I had noticed the change in my strength to almost twice what it was. ( Note that we are talking 15 lb bench to 25 lb bench.) I wanted to see how far I could go. I thought this would give me more self esteem and probably improve my looks even more. And you know it was better than having an affair which is what most of my friends were doing. Well, I began in earnest. I started pouring on the weights. From my stand point, it didn't take long. After all at my age, what a year. After only a few months, however, I began to see drastic results in my strength. That 25 lb bench was now a 75 lb bench. Three times what I was doing before. For a woman who has never done anything like this, I though I was doing great. At home, things were beginning to change. There was a marked difference in my body and Joe picked up on that quickly. Even though he continued to encourage me, I'm not sure how he felt about his wife of 20 years having biceps. Not big ones, but noticeable. And as for strength, Joe was still stronger, but it was on longer a slam dunk, three seconds was now 30 to 45. Sex, well now this was worth it all. I was a new woman. I felt great, I looked great and I was strong ... so I thought. I was now aggressive and I was teaching Joe what I wanted in bed. And you know, I think when we were having sex, Joe lost his male ego and was ready for me to take over some times and give him a ride of a life time. There were many times I noticed that he seemed to be worshiping my body. He would feel and kiss my arms and legs as though I was his goddess. This really turned me on like nothing that had ever happened in my life. Joe also just liked to lay there and let me control him. Even though I didn't really have enough strength, he would pretend that he was under my complete domination. This seemed to turn him on. The orgasms wouldn't quit. All of this, of course, encouraged me to continue. Because this was a small town local gym, there were not many women doing heavy weights and I was about to make the transition. I was easily out lifting all of the women in the gym and knew that I had to change or lose my momentum. Well, I changed gyms. In the town, there was another gym which was known for body building and power lifting. They didn't offer aerobics and it was pretty much unstructured. I quickly found a partner. Her name was Kathy. It was great because she and I were about at the same level except that she was only 25 and I'm now 42. Now I'm serious and it didn't take much longer for me to see some real results. I found myself in the gym five days a week for several hours and by now I had some weights at home that I used during the "off" time. Over the next six months, my strength doubled again. This is significant because I am now benching over 120% of my body weight. If you don't think that's an achievement, try to bench your body weight. And my body was tight. I had very little fat and muscles to kill for. I may have been 42 but when Kathy and I were out together, you could not have guessed that we weren't both in our 20s. Once I remember the family had gone to the beach for a family vacation. Since we were going alone no one there should know me so I went out and did it. The thong that I had always wanted and wouldn't be caught dead in. And, I wore it with pride once we got there and I know Joe liked it. After all he had always looked at the 20 year olds in them, now he was married to one....for 20 years. Anyway, when I would lay on the beach, college kids were continually trying pick me up. What they didn't know was first that I was 42, married and had two kids and that I could probably pick them up ... off the ground and slam dunk them. Well, as I said, I got serious. I really liked being so strong that almost no one could tell me what to do. It was almost like an addiction. I wanted to be as strong as I could. I didn't mind the time and energy that I had to put into it. I worked and worked and every month I could tell that I was making progress and was getting stronger and stronger. If I sound enthusiastic, it's because I am. Nothing like this had ever happen to me before. I was in charge and I was the center of attention. Well it wasn't long before I had reached the 200% level. A little math will tell you that I was bench pressing more than Joe weighted. Yes, I was stronger, much stronger, than the man who had kept and protected me for over 20 years. Now what. Let me tell you how it feels, if I haven't already. I wear short and tight and I like it. Even though I am so strong, I have managed to avoid the bulk. This is not to say that I'm not big, because compared to most women my size, I am. But when I dress normally, I get noticed but not stared at. You know, it's that 20 something great shape thing. Men eat it up. However, when I dress for attention, I get it, in spades. A tank top and short shorts and a mall and I stop traffic. Do I like it, you bet. Some times the attention is a bit aggressive and unwanted. In the past I would worry, but now I sort of enjoy setting the trap. It is, however, tough to get used to being so strong after over 40 years of dependence. You can't imagine how it feels to hoist your husband up and carry him around. To have a fight and have to control your temper because you might hurt someone. To have sex and be in complete control because you are so strong that the man has to do exactly what you want. I can understand rape now. Even the simple things like opening a jar. Joe brings the tough ones to me. When a man approaches me, and they often do, wanting something I don't have for him, I let him get close enough and put his hand on me. Now I can have fun. Only once did I let a really pushy guy get me outside or should I say I lured him outside and after a few body slams in a dark alley, I don't think he will be so pushy again. Sex! What an experience. Joe has gotten over all of his male ego and just enjoys it. Joe worships my muscles from calves to my neck. He knows that there is no way he could ever overpower me and that just turns us on even more. I usually decide that it is time, you know I am the dominant one now. I will pick Joe up and carry him around a bit and it only take a moment before we are both ready to go. I then undress him like a child with him worshiping my muscles and strength the entire time. Some times I have to calm him down just to get him undressed. Then I get ready. Some times I just strip down, other times I put on workout attire. Joe really gets turned on by that and I like it because it reminds me of who I am. Joe then begins to lick me all over and finally ends up at my g-spot. Two things I have learned to do is to please me and to please a man, in that order. With my strength dominance, there is no reason I should do otherwise. Anyway, Joe then brings me to orgasm and I stay there forever it seems, Joe has this technique and has had for ever, to make me wild. The problem now is that I have to be careful not to hurt him. As I got stronger, I did hurt him a few time but he has learned how to stay clear of the overpowering strength of my thighs. Joe knows when its his turn. He just kind of lays back and I take over. I am still so turned on that sometimes I hurt him, but its just that I am so strong that he cannot protect himself. Anyway, I may pick him up and just slide him in. Other times a will wrestle him down which takes about 15 seconds and he does try as hard as he can to stop me ... but we both know he can't and that turns us on. Once he is in, he just has to lay there. In my training, somehow I gained the ability to work his penis with the muscles in my vagina. I guess I just wanted to be so domineering that no man could ever resist me or over power me. Well, I'm there. Anyway, after Joe is satisfied, I go again. I know that it turns him on and me to. It doesn't take Joe long to bring me up again and hold me there as long as I want. I never dreamed that sex could be so good and Joe tells me he feels the same way. That being said, life is not all rosy. While I love the attention, I have encountered problems along the way. Clothes. From a perfect size 8 to they just don't make street clothes for my body. Sometimes off the rack, but mostly I have found a seamstress who makes clothes for me. And the kidding. When we are out in a crowd, unless I am dressed for attention, no one suspects what I am hiding. At work, however, they know. Things are all ok now but I had a real problem with my boss. As my shape began to improve, he started paying more and more attention to me. I was always pushing him off. Once, however, I actually had to hurt him. After he realized how strong I was, he left me alone. I did, however, have to move to another department because I knew it would be a problem from now on. Kids. Well with a boy 19 and a girl 15, this was the biggest challenge. Joe Jr. is in college so its not the problem it was but as I grew in size and strength, this just wasn't Joe's idea of a mom. I was better looking than most of the moms at school and stronger than all of the dads. While we didn't publicize it, everyone knew and I know they talked about me behind my back. It bothered Joe Jr. It also bothered him that he was a lineman on the football team and Mom could bench as much as he could. As for Cheryl, she got into it. She thought it was great that a woman, particularly her Mom could be so strong. When I brought the weights home and began working out with them herself. She wanted to be strong like mommy. That was two years ago. Well she is not as strong as mommy but she is strong and shapely. It causes her some problems at school but none that she cannot handle and a new confidence. I never worry about her on a date. If she wants to come home, I think it would be wise for her date to do so or someone will get hurt... and not Cheryl. I am an amazon. All of my life a thought that women body builders were disgusting. Now I am one, in a sense. I don't understand why all women don't want this for themselves. This would certainly be a cure for wife beating, but then we would have husband beatings. I am strong, sexy and in control of my mind and my life and am looking forward to the next 40 years as an amazon.