Pulling the Valkyrie's pig tails
By Shy Guy, Shy_Guy@innocent.com
A young warrior plays a dangerous game


Quietly, Sigurd crawled through the undergrowth.  The bracken round leading 
up the hill wasn't too dense, but it just might be tall enough to obscure 
him.  Concealing his 6'4" frame wasn't easy, but he used such advantages as 
the terrain lent him.  Boldly, he stalked his prey.

Of course, this hadn't been his idea oh no! But if he was going to play 
Harald's games, he had to be prepared to pay the forfeits.  He could have 
sworn the picture of the Valkyrie was on the middle card though...

Cresting the hill, he spotted her.  She was standing on a low bluff, 
overlooking his village, but his luck was in.  He was behind her, and she 
showed no signs of having spotted him.  He took a moment to admire this 
fine figure of womanhood before him.  Although she was one of the tallest 
women he had seen, she was still probably a good six inches shorter than 
himself.  Nevertheless, the power suggested within that body made him 
tremble, with excitement, and fear.  And there, standing proud from her 
golden tresses, were the new pigtails she had been sporting the last few 
days.  All that lay between him and them now were 50 yards of open country.

Quickly he glanced over to check his escape route, down the hill to his 
right and into the woods.  He should be able to hide out there a while, 
till she calmed down, but he knew he was merely postponing the inevitable, 
his time had come.  Breathing hard, he broke his cover.

Laboring hard to control his breath, so as not to give him away, he bounded 
across the intervening space with the peculiar gait he used when he wanted 
to be able to turn tail and run at a moments notice.  Suddenly he was 
there!

Not even daring to breath, he reached out his hand, took hold of a pigtail, 
and pulled.  Instantly, he sensed something was wrong, for as he pulled 
there was no resistance, but rather her head turned with him, and suddenly 
he was staring into that beautiful face. That deliciously wicked grin she 
flashed at him, and that predatory glint in her eye revealed the awful 
truth, he had never been the hunter in the first place.  How could he have 
even presumed to try sneaking upon their protector in broad daylight?  
Mutely, shrinking back, he stared up with the wide eyes of prey facing an 
overwhelming predator.

"Why Sigurd" she giggled "Whatever could you be doing?"

"Erm, ah, well..." he stuttered.  Slowly, his instincts started to return 
to his aid.  While all the men in the village dearly loved the Valkyrie who 
had protected them these hard few years, they all agreed on this.  When she 
was feeling playful the safest thing to do was run.  Although she would 
mean no harm, she played rather enthusiastically.  While there hadn't been 
any serious accidents yet, a few of the bolder warriors had been 
incapacitated for weeks at a time.  Finally he remembered the woods, and 
his escape.

"I'm sorry m'lady" he cringed "I didn't mean anything by it" and with that 
he bolted, fast as his legs would carry him, towards the woods and his 
hopes for a hiding place.  But not fast enough, a playful slap to his 
backside sent him sprawling down the hill as he fled.  Yet he daren't fall 
over, and thrashing his arms and legs wildly to keep what balance he had, 
he stumbled down and into the woods.  Only then did he turn back, and see 
her there, silhouetted magnificently against the skyline.

The relief came flooding in, she hadn't moved, he had actually got away 
with it. And then he heard it, a shout of exhulatation that chilled him to 
the bone, but now he finally understood.  That was a signal, lest he be in 
any doubt, only now did the hunt commence.  And as she came running down 
the hill, he was transfixed by the sight, beautiful as only the most deadly 
of nature's predators are, hunting.  Yet he couldn't escape the realization 
that this most impressive of sights was coming for him, and it really was 
time to be somewhere else.  Taking one last, lingering look he bolted 
deeper amongst the trees.

As a child he had ventured the woods on many occasions, despite the 
warnings of his parents and elders.  He knew the dangers, the wolves, bears 
and trolls.  More than once he had wrestled a wolf in his youth, you grew 
up fast or not at all.  The woods held no fears for him now, but rather 
they would be his salvation, for he knew all the hiding places, the 
shortcuts and hidden ways.  Charging full speed down the narrow path, he 
deftly vaulted a fallen tree.  Landing on all fours, he scrambled the 
length of it, using it for cover although he reckoned he should be safely 
out of sight already.  Darting through the undergrowth, he looped back 
round towards the village, and his favorite bolt hole.  Concealed, 30' off 
the ground halfway up a tree, nestled a hollow that even as he had grown, 
would still accommodate him, though it was a snugger fit than in his youth.

Listening intently, he could hear no sound of pursuit, had he evaded her 
that easily?  Although he knew the woods well, he was still surprised it 
had been so easy, and a little anti-climactic.  He settled into a steady, 
comfortable walk.  Calm, again at last he passed the final bush, into the 
clearing with the tree he sought.

And there she was ahead of him, standing under the tree, looking right at 
him.

"Sigurd, what kept you?" she teased "Don't you know it's rude to keep a 
lady waiting?"

The grin grew wider, and her eyes glinted ever brighter.  How could she 
have known?  Surely this place had been his secret?  Adrenaline flooded 
through him again, in an effort to pick him back up and send him running, 
but only made him feel sick now.  Steadily she advanced on him, and he saw 
her muscles, powerful and primed for action.  Through the fog of his 
confusion, he heard that feminine voice say "one".

She was almost upon him now, "Two?" she queried.  Finally, Sigurd took the 
hint, she was giving him a chance, or at least a start.  Turning back, he 
set off again, though less sure than before, if she knew this hiding place, 
then surely she knew his others.  He would have to run in hope, and find a 
new place.   "Three!"

But running clearly wasn't the answer, he was tired already. And he had a 
dreadful feeling that the chase had barely begun.  "Four".   He had to find 
some way to turn the tables, and he would need someplace safe to think.

"Five" he heard, though getting fainter now.  Maybe he should head for the 
river?  The waterfall perhaps, with all that noise he should be able to 
move around unheard.  Of course, he wouldn't hear her coming either.  Then 
it struck him, out here he was too exposed.  What he had to do was head 
back to the village.  Sure he would look strange running with a Valkyrie on 
his tail, but there would be his best chance of finding something else to 
distract her.

Of course, he was running away from the village now, but that is what she 
expected of him.  Stopping, he looked around for the best cover at hand.  
He would simply wait here until she had gone past, and then head back to 
the village, at last he had a plan.

Somewhere in the distance he just about made out "Twenty, here I come, 
ready or not!".  Nothing to do now but wait.  Soon, he saw her, skipping 
down the path, gaily singing a merry hunting song.  

As she caught the sun's rays, shimmering between the trees, the sight was 
more than he could bear, and he let out an appreciative sigh.  He knew it 
was a mistake, hoped it hadn't given him away, yet knew better.  
Instinctively he ducked back, trying to conceal himself deeper in the bush, 
to no avail.  He looked up to see two mighty legs, spread wide in a deep, 
powerful, stance, feet pointing towards him.  Even as he sensed her leaning 
over to coax him out, he could see he only had one chance left.  
Desperately summoning all his remaining energy, he launched himself as hard 
as he could though that gap, hurtling down the path beyond.

He was fast, he knew he was, but not fast enough.  As he lunged between 
those mighty legs they snapped shut and he was briefly trapped in his own 
private world of pain.  His waist readily gave way to onslaught before it 
and all that appeared to hold those thighs apart was his poor tortured 
spine.

Yet just as suddenly the pressure was released, and winded, he stumbled 
out, only to be treated to a boot firmly applied to his retreating rear.  
He landed sprawling face down in the middle of the path, and even as he was 
getting up he felt her land squarely in the middle of his back.  Flattened 
again, knees appeared either side of his head, pinning his shoulders.  
There was no escape now.

"So Sigurd" she said, honey dripping from her voice "What did you think you 
were doing, pulling my pigtails like that?"  The voice was sweet, but there 
was steel behind it  "Don't you know that pigtails are a Valkyrie's symbol 
of her youthful beauty".  Playfully, she ruffled his hair.

"I'm sorry m'lady, I really meant no harm." Stammered Sigurd.  He knew he 
had no excuse, but labored on anyway "but they were so tempting there, 
what's a guy supposed to do?"

"Did I ask you to pull them?" she demanded, with more steel than honey. 
Grabbing a solid grip in his hair with on hand, she pulled his head back so 
he couldn't duck the question.
"No ma'am" Sigurd a sobbed, no longer able to conceal his fear and shame at 
having upset his Valkyrie.

Smoothing his hair again, she said "It's all right Sigurd, you're forgiven, 
please don't cry". Gently running her fingers though his locks to soothe 
him she continued "but you understand you need a small punishment, as a 
lesson"

Mutely, Sigurd nodded.  "Perhaps I should pull on your pigtails?" She 
suggested mischievously.

"But I don't have pigtails" said Sigurd, a little confused.

"Not yet!" said the Valkyrie, but already her hands were plaiting, and soon 
Sigurd had two pretty pigtails.

YANK!  The Valkyrie pulled hard on a pigtail, and Sigurd screamed in pain, 
but it was brief, for as she pulled she also rolled him over onto his back, 
and sat down firmly on his stomach.  She reached out her hand, and wiped 
the tears and hair out of his eyes.  "Sigurd, you were such a silly" she 
giggled, "If you had wanted my attention, all you had to do was ask, I 
don't bite"  Gently, her hand moved down and caressed his cheek "often!"

Finally, Sigurd realized that she might be more than playful, but perhaps a 
little amorous as well.  His stomach knotted with nerves and excitement.  
Suddenly, a reward beyond his wildest dreams beckoned, but how do you 
proposition a Valkyrie?

As her hands move down towards his tunic, the air is pierced by a loud cry 
of "Help!" , and in the distance they hear the growl of a bear.  Suddenly, 
it's over and he's free again.

As the Valkyrie vanishes with astonishing speed deep into the woods, Sigurd 
gazes on with wonder, and more than a little regret.  Still, he knows what 
he must do now...

Next morning, shortly after sunrise, Sigurd was sneaking round the lower 
reaches of Wychewood Hill.  You had to be up early to get the jump on a 
Valkyrie, but Sigurd had greeted the dawn.  Confidently, he started 
crawling up through the bracken again.