Business as Usual By Eric Robert, EricRRobert@hotmail.com Amanda destroys an angry client and bills him for her time I had my first job when I turned 18, the summer after I had graduated High School. I hadn't applied for colleges in time, so I figured I had better take a year off and make some money. Because of my ability to type 125 words per minute, I figured I might make pretty good pay as a secretary, so I made a few phone calls and got an interview with the Law Offices of Amanda Draper. When I arrived at the office, I was met by an absolutely stunning woman. She was about 5'10 and maybe 140, 145 pounds. I guessed she was about 25 or so.She had a perfect face, with long, flowing brown hair, a wide, friendly smile, and a look in her eyes that struck me as alert and intelligent. Being a typical teenage guy, I couldn't help my glance from drifting downward. She was wearing a dress that looked expensive and would have been very conservative except that it wasn't quite cut in the most conservative fashion. It clung to her chest, revealing her round, firm breasts, and ended no more than half an inch below her knees. Looking at her calves, I could see that her legs were absolutely stunning. They looked as hard as steel. At this point, she was sure to have noticed me staring at her, half-drooling. She gave me a bemused look and said, "Hi, you're applying for the secretarial position? I'm Amanda." I was stunned. This gorgeous 25 year old creature was a lawyer? Immediately, I felt embarassed. All this time, I had thought I was talking to a receptionist, and I had been checking out my prospective boss. `Good move, dipshit' I thought to myself. She laughed and said, "I know what you're thinking. I got through college a little fast, and this is my first year on the job.. anyway, why don't you come into my office and we can finish the interview in there?" I have to admit I don't remember very much of the interview as I was just sitting in a trance staring at her legs the whole time.. but somehow or other I got the job. I worked there for an uneventful three weeks that I won't bore you with the details of, and everything seemed to be working out perfectly. I was making twice the money of most of my friends, and Amanda never expressed any distaste with my work. Still, one of our occupational hazards was that since we were involved with criminal law, which meant we had to work with some less than desirable characters once in a while. Anyway, one evening in October, this huge guy burst into the office and bellowed "Let me talk to Ms. Draper!" He was about 6'1" and 250 pounds, and he looked like he had forgotten to shave for the last four days, probably on account of being in a drunken stupor, which he hadn't quite left. He could be trouble. I picked up the phone and called for security, at the same time asking him, "Do you have an appointment?" I knew the answer, but sometimes you had to go through the motions of being professional. "Fuck you!" shouted the guy. "I want to see that bitch NOW!" At that moment, Amanda walked out of her office. "What seems to be the trouble?" The brute turned on her. "You fucking bitch! My brother gets seven fucking years? You couldn't do better than seven fucking years?" Amanda turned to me, calm as I had ever seen her, and said, "Hang up the phone." "Hang up the phone??" I was incredulous. I could hear the security officer on the other side of the line saying "Hello.. is anyone there?" Amanda shot me one of those glares that I had always interpreted as `your job is at stake here', and I hung up the phone. Suddenly, the big guy just charged right into her. I was horrified. My boss was about to be killed, I had been instructed not to call security, and now I had to make a choice.. possibly between my job and my life. The guy threw a punch that looked like it would put a bull out for the night, but Amanda sidestepped it and his fist crashed into the wall. He screamed in pain, which was understandable since he had probably broken every bone in his right hand. Suddenly, to my surprise, Amanda threw a punch of her own-and connected with his stomach! The guy lurched back a few inches, grunted, and looked at her with a mixture of pain and surprise. "You bitch!" he spat. After a few seconds, he decided that he had enough power left in his good hand to pound her into a pretty much unrecognizable mess.. and I was inclined to agree with him. He charged into her again. This time, Amanda didn't even bother sidestepping. She merely turned, caught his arm, elbowed him in the stomach, and tripped him, throwing him to the ground, in one fluid motion. Then, as he lay there half-senseless, she stomped on his chest twice. Each time, he choked and coughed up gobs of phlegm, staining his beard and shirt. "Get out of my office," Amanda instructed the guy, in the same tone she wouldhave used to tell me to file a brief. I was astounded. Here, this monster was trying to rip her to shreds, and she was acting like she hadn't even noticed that anything out of the ordinary was going on! The guy climbed to his feet slowly and unsteadily. He was so slow and groggy that looked to me as though Amanda probably could have got a few good kicks to the head in on the way, but apparently she passed up the opportunity. He stared at her for a few seconds, looking confused and insanely angry at the same time. She returned his stare with a look that I could best describe as boredom. Looking at them from my perspective, I was shocked. This guy stood about four inches taller than her, and was almost twice her weight, and she had left him in serious pain. After a moment's decision, the brute made up his mind again. "Fuck you!" he screamed! His vocabulary hadn't left much of an impression on me, but, then, he seemed to be relying on other characteristics. Before I could do anything, he grabbed the stapler off my desk and swung it at Amanda's head. A stapler doesn't really make the best weapon, and Amanda simply leaned back,caught the guy's arm after the stapler had passed safely by her head, and casually snapped his wrist. I could hear his tendons tear with an audible snapping sound, and he screamed in agony. Amanda looked at him for a second, holding his wrist between his knees and crying audibly. Then, she slowly and casually reached down to pick up the stapler, giving both of us a look down her blouse. It was a sight I had almost become accustomed to (one can never Quite become accustomed to the sight of perfect cleavage) but the brute stood there, gaping in awe at her cleavage, in spite of his pain. Then, a crazy look came over his eyes. Suddenly, he grabbed her blouse and ripped the buttons clear off. Amanda didn't even see it coming, since she was leaning over and ignoring him, as though he were too unimportant to deserve her attention. Amanda stood up suddenly, holding the stapler, her blouse in tatters. Her breasts, covered now only by her bra, were more fabulous than I had ever imagined. They jutted out of her chest proudly, and looked as though, had the bra been removed, they would remain in exactly that position. And, for the first time, she looked angry. She didn't waste any time yelling obscenities or dwelling on what the guy had done. She simply grabbed him by the throat, slammed him against the cublicle, opened the stapler, and rammed it into his head about six times. She was driving staples into his skull like I might do to the bulletin board on my cublicle wall. He was screaming in agony and pulling at her hand, but somehow, he couldn't dislodge it. It looked as though she were holding his entire two hundred fifty pounds up with one arm, but I was sure he must somehow be supporting himself otherwise. Suddenly, she turned and looked at me. I had been sitting there gaping at the scene, which was probably inappopriate, especially since my boss was now less than fully clothed. After a second she said, "What am I paying you for again?" I couldn't believe it. This was happening and she wanted me to work? Business as usual? But, I had to keep my job. I put on the headphones and began to transcribe from her voice.. "This will be a letter to the D.A.'s office.." Sitting there, typing, I watched as she sat down, then proceeded to yank the guy down by his hair, lift up her skirt, and slide his head between her legs. He was bleeding profusely from his head and looked dazed. She said something to him, but I couldn't make it out at all. She pulled her skirt back over his head and begin to squeeze. The result was electrifying. His body begin to convulse as he ripped and clawed at her legs. All I could see was his shivering torso and neck, disappearing into her skirt. She didn't even seem to be concentrating on what she was doing; she was holding both ends of her blouse, figuring out whether there was any way she could cover herself up a little before the 2:30 appointment. It didn't appear that there was. I just sat at my cubicle, typing away at the D.A.'s letter, watching Amanda, with her gorgeous breasts barely concealed by her bra, and a huge, crying, convulsing brute between her legs. I couldn't hear much, but she was smiling and saying something to him. Eventually, he went totally still, and she stood up, allowing his head to drop, motionless, to the floor. She looked at me, which I recognized as my cue to take off the headphones and jot down instructions. "Figure out what case he was affiliated with and add twenty minutes to the bill," she said. Twenty minutes?? It had felt like an eternity. "Oh, and.. would you get him out of here and call the carpet cleaner?" He was dripping blood all over the place. I jotted down the instructions and said, "Okay.." It was the only thing that came to mind. And with that, Amanda went back into her office and, as far as I know, went back to work. My mind was filled with a million questions.. where did she learn to fight? How did a woman her size take such a huge guy apart? She had seemed so nonchalant.. was she accustomed to doing this? Would it become a monthly event? Was she going to do the 2:30 appointment wearing nothing but a bra? Still, I knew I'd never get any answers out of her. That wasn't her style.