Lifts By Mark 1) There's an attractive woman named Liz who works in my office. She's tall and looks quite strong. Lately, she and I have gotten to be friends and often have lunch together. Last week, invited her over for dinner (I cook great Italian food!). Now, the ceilings in my apartment slant upwards from the top of the wall, and at their peak, they're very high. To change the lightbulb in the ceiling fixture, I need to use a step-ladder. Before Liz came over, I climbed up the ladder and unscrewed the lightbulb. Then I took this burned-out bulb out of the trash, climbed back up the ladder, and screwed the burned-out bulb into the socket. I climbed down the ladder, collapsed it, and then hid it in the closet in my bedroom. There are a couple of other lamps in my apartment. One of them, I hid with the ladder. The other--a huge standing lamp by the sofa--I decided to leave. But with only the light from this lamp, it's pretty dark in my apartment. About an hour later, I buzzed Liz in. She looked fantastic. She was wearing a jeans-miniskirt and a T-shirt. It was great to see some more of her than I usually get to at the office. "Why is it so dark in here?" she asked. "Well, I'd like to say it's because I was planning a candle-light dinner," I answered, "but actually, the light burnt out and I'm not sure what to do because I usually borrow a ladder from this guy down the hall, but he's not home." "Oh no," she said. "Don't you have anything you can stand on?" "That's what I've been looking for. I tried sliding the armchair over, but it's too low. I'd rather not use the chairs by the table. They're antiques and I don't like the idea of standing on them. The only other chair is the one by my desk, and that one is on wheels. I tried standing on it and almost killed myself." "I could hold it steady for you," she offered. Darn. I hadn't thought of that. "It's not just the wheels," I improvised. "That chair has already broken once--just from me sitting in it. I've been meaning to get a new one." "Well, there must be some way--" she said. "I know!" I said. "I'll lift you up and you can change it. How about that?" She started to laugh. "You can't lift me!" she said. "I'm way to heavy for you." "Wanna bet?" I said. "Watch this." I gripped her waited and tried to hoist her up. I managed to get her about half an inch off the ground before I had to stop and get some air. "Damn," I said. "I'm really going to have to get back to the gym." She laughed some more and said, "told you so." "Maybe you can pick me up," I suggested--making it sound like a joke. "Oh, I could do that easy," she said. "No you couldn't," I said. "If I can't carry you, you certainly can't carry me!" "Oh yes I can," she said, "How much do you weigh, anyway?" "About 160," I said. "That's nothing," she said. "I can lift you. Come here." So I walked closer to me, and she grabbed me around the waist and boosted me up. She only did this for a few seconds. "Jesus Christ!" I said. "You're REALLY strong. I didn't think you could do that!" "Ha!" she said. "That'll teach you to doubt me. Now, let's change that lightbulb." So, I got a new lightbulb, and Liz lifted me up and held me while I changed it. For some "strange reason", it took me longer than usual to change a bulb. After she put me down, I said, "That was a WILD experience, Liz. I've never been lifted by a woman before. I didn't think it was possible." "That's because you're sexist," she said. "Women are strong. Some women are stronger than some men I know." "I guess you're right," I said. "What else can you do? Can you carry me like a baby?" "Sure," she said. "Let's see." She picked me up in her arms and I held on to her tight. She walked around the room, carrying me. I was in heaven. After she put me down, I said, "Can you give me a piggy-back ride?" "That's really easy," she said. She turned around and bent over, and I climbed on her back. "Don't tell anyone in the office about this," I told her, as she carried me around the room. "Why not?" she said. "Are you afraid it will damage your manhood?" "I'm sure it wouldn't do it any good," I said. But the next day, I ate lunch with Liz and this girl Wendy from our office. "You know what Liz did last night?" I said to Wendy. "I thought it was supposed to be a big secret," said Liz. "It was," I said, "but it's so incredible that I have to talk about it anyway. Liz picked me up and carried me around my apartment. She carried me in her arms like a baby and she gave me a piggy-back ride." "Wow," said Wendy. "I'm glad you admit it," Liz said. "Weren't you embarrassed to be carried by a woman," Wendy asked. "He loved it!" Liz said, laughing. "I WAS embarrassed," I said. "It's embarrassing to talk about it, but it was fun too." "You want to see, Wendy?" Liz asked. "No you don't," I said, "not here!" "Ah," said Wendy. "You're a spoilsport." "Yeah," said Liz. "You brought it up after you told me not to. Now you're afraid to show everybody." I paused for a moment then said, "Oh, all right." "Yay!" said Wendy. Liz stood up and I stood up slowly. She came over to me and lifted my into her arms like a baby again, and carried me around the cafeteria. People started clapping and hooting. My face was bright red. People at the office are still talking about it. 2) There was this girl named Ruth who I new in college. The most terrific thing about Ruth is that whenever I got upset or had a bad day, she used to let me come over to her room and sit on her lap. She would hold me there on her lap and cuddle with me. Sometimes I would cry. This was great, but more and more I started to fantasize about doing this in public. I didn't really want the other people in the dorm to see me sitting on her lap--though I did enjoy doing it in front of Ruth's roommate--but I wanted SOMEONE to see me. After a while, I was comfortable enough with Ruth to talk openly about my fantasy. To my surprise, she was willing to help me play it out in real life. She thought the idea was fun and started coming up with all sorts of ideas. She suggested that we go to the park and sit on a bench next to a stranger who was already sitting on the same bench. We would start a conversation with the stranger as if nothing was odd, but all this time I'd be sitting on her lap. I think she also came up with the idea of going to a movie and sitting next to another audience-member with me on her lap. I liked both of these ideas, but later on in the evening, I came up with one that I liked even better: I told Ruth that I wanted to go to a bar with her, and that we should sit at different tables and pretend we don't know each other. She agreed to this and was really into the rest of the plan. Later that night we were ready to go: I asked Ruth to wear her white shorts, which were tight and very short. I loved the way that her bare- legs looked in them-she had very muscular legs. I also wore shorts because when I sat on her lap, I loved the feel of our legs touching each other. After we were dressed, we got in her car and drove to the Mall. I decided that instead of going to a regular bar, I wanted to go somewhere where I could be sure that there would be tall-attractive waitresses. There was a Hooters attached to the bar, so we drove there. We parked in the Mall parking lot, and Ruth got out of the car, said, "see ya inside," and walked towards the restaurant. I sat in the car for a few minutes trying to read a magazine, but I was too keyed up to concentrate. When I could stand it no longer, I got out of the car. As I walked towards the door, I wondered if Ruth was able to find a good place to sit. A hostess told me to sit anywhere I wanted, so I scanned the room until I saw Ruth. She managed to find a table by the window, looking out over the walkway anyone had to pass if they wanted to enter the mall. Excellent. There was a table nearby, and I sat down at it facing her. She was sitting with her gorgeous legs crosses, reading a paperback, sipping a gin and tonic. The waitress came. She was a really pretty blond. Not as tall as Ruth, but definitely tall. Where do they find all these beautiful women? "What can I get you to drink?" she asked. "Um. I'll have a screwdriver, please," I said. The waitress said she'd be right back, and after a couple of minutes she returned with my drink and asked me if she could take my order. "I think I'm just going to stick with the drink, I said." The waitress said okay and started to leave. "Uh. I wonder if you could do me a favor?" I said quickly. "Sure," she said. "You see that lady sitting over there by herself," I said, pointing to Ruth. "Uh huh." "Well, I'd like to buy her a drink, but I'm too shy. Could you bring her a drink for me?" The waitress smiled and said, "Sure, sweetie, I'd be glad to do that for you. I'll ask her what she wants, okay?" "Great," I said. "Thanks a lot." The waitress walked back to the bar-I guess to order my drink. She was there for a long time, talking to the girl behind the bar. Then she came back with my screwdriver. "Don't forget," I said. "Don't worry," she said, winking at me. She walked over to Ruth's table and said something. I couldn't hear the conversation, but I saw Ruth look up and the waitress smiling. Ruth looked puzzled and said something to the waitress, and then they both looked over at me. I hid my face in my hands. A few seconds later, I looked up, and the waitress was still there, talking to Ruth. They saw me looking at them and both of them smiled at me and waved me over. "Thanks for buying me a drink," Ruth said. "I'm Ruth." "I'm Mark," I said. "and I think you're lovely." "See," said the waitress, "I told you he was a sweetie. I'll go get your drink." She winked at me again as she left. "That went really well," I said to Ruth. "Great choice of a seat!" "Quick," Ruth said, "Get on my lap before she gets back." I looked at the waitress and saw her at the bar again, with her back to us. I sat down on Ruth's lap and she wrapped her arms around me. I relaxed and let her totally support me. The waitress turned from the bar with another gin and tonic on her tray. When she saw us, she stopped walking for a second. Then she smiled a really big smile and came over to us. "My, my, my" she said, "you two sure go to know each other fast." Ruth said, "he asked me if he could sit down. I told him only if he sat on my lap." "It feels really nice in your lap," I said. "Well, I've always loved having a man on my lap," Ruth said. Then she asked the waitress, "have you ever had a man sit on your lap." "Actually," the waitress said, "my ex-boyfriend used to sit on my lap all the time. But he was kind of heavy. You'd be a lot more comfortable." She indicated me. "Really?" I said. "Why don't you sit down and we'll see." "Sorry," the waitress said. "I'm working. Maybe some other time." She left to see to some other customers. I got off Ruth's lap for and turned to face her. Then I sat down again, this time straddling her so that my face was to the window. It was really fun watching the people go by. Many were walking so fast that they didn't bother looking in at us. But some did. I always tried to catch their eyes and smile at them. At one point, a big group of women walked by and saw us. They thought the site of me on Ruth's lap was really funny. 3) Sometimes Ruth and I would go to the beach together. We would walk around holding hands and when we passed by an attractive woman-or a group of attractive women-Ruth would stop them. "Excuse me," she said, "would you mind taking our picture." Most people are happy to do this. Ruth would hand them her camera and we would step back. Suddenly, Ruth would lift me up and cradle me like a baby. I have a album full of these pictures, and I'll always remember the surprise of the photographers. 4) I got drunk one night and told my friend Cathy all about my fetishes. "You never said anything about this when we were dating," She said. I hadn't wanted to mention them to Cathy because she was so small. She couldn't help me fulfill my desires. Our breakup earlier that year had been mutual, and we were now very close friends. I used to go over to her place and we would stay up late and watch movies on her sofa. I liked to lie with my head in her lap-especially when she was wearing shorts. She had lovely legs, even though they weren't very big. "That's why you sat on Carol's lap at that party!" she said. "You were turned on. I thought you were just fooling around." "Are you mad?" I asked. She thought for a minute. "No," she said. Then she said, "poor baby, I bet you don't get many chances." "No," I admitted. "It mostly stays a fantasy." "Well," she said, "we'll have to see what we can do." "What do you mean?" I asked. "Never mind," she said. "I have some ideas, but I'm not going to share them at the moment." ----- I forgot all about this conversation until Cathy's birthday party a few weeks later. Typically liking to be in control, Cathy was throwing the party for herself. Among the guests was this beautiful, incredibly tall lady who I had never seen before. After a while, Cathy found me and pulled me into the kitchen. The tall lady was there. "Mark," she said, "this is Susan. She just moved into the building and she doesn't know many people, so I expect you to take good care of her." "Nice to meet you," I said. "Are you from the city?" "No." she said. "This is the first city I've ever lived in and I've only been here a couple of weeks. I'm scared to death." She had beautiful deep blue eyes, the kind you can get lost in. "Don't be," I said. "After you've been here a while, you'll love it. You can do anything you want here. If there's any kind of food you like to eat or any book you want to read, you can find it here." "Actually, I've been looking for a good Chinese restaurant," she said. I started telling her about the various places she could go, and soon we were deep in conversation. I hated pulling myself away from her and the party, but I had to get up early the next morning, so I was unable to stay very long. The next Saturday, I had just gotten out of the shower when my phone rang. It was Cathy. "You sure seemed to be enjoying yourself at my party," she said. "Susan's perfect for you, isn't she." "Yes," I said, "she was lovely." "Good," she said. "Then be outside your apartment at eleven." "Why?" I asked. "Gotta go" she said and hung up. ----- At eleven I was sitting outside on the front steps of my building. It was pretty hot out, so I was just wearing a T-shirt and shorts. I sat there for about twenty minutes before I decided that Cathy was pulling a fast one. Just five more minutes, I decided, then I'm going to go back in. Almost as I was thinking this, I heard a car honking. I looked across the street and saw Cathy and Susan sitting in Cathy's car, waving at me. I got up and crossed the street and went up to the window. They were both wearing bathing suits and I tried hard not to stare at Susan's legs while we talked. "What are you up to today?" Cathy asked. "Nothing much," I said. "Just hanging around." "We're going to the beach," Cathy said. "You wanna come?" "Sure," I said. Cathy turned around and looked at her back seat. It was filled with huge boxes of files and papers. "Well," Cathy said, "you'll have to sit on Susan's lap. Is that okay with you, Sus?" "Uh huh," Susan said, smiling at me. "You sure," I said. "Come on," Susan said, patting her thighs. So I opened the door and climbed in, sitting down gently on Susan's lap. I knew it was an hours drive to the beach. I was in heaven. "How do you like having a big baby on your lap?" Cathy asked Susan after we had been driving for a while. "I can't believe how light he is," Susan said. "You don't weigh ANTHING." At the beach, Susan decided to go into the water. Cathy and I lay on towels next to each other and talked. "Thank you SO much," I said. "That was one of the best experiences of my life." "I thought you'd like it," she said. "Now don't say I never get you anything." --- I sat on Susan's lap again on the way back. We were all tired and I leaned into her. "Susan," I said. "Your lap is so comfortable, I think I might fall asleep." "That's fine," she said quietly. "I hope you won't think this is weird," I said. "But I've enjoyed sitting on your lap more than anything I can think of. I feel so safe and warm and protected." "I don't think that's weird," she said. "I like you. I like having you on my lap." I sighed and snuggled deeper and soon fell asleep.