Cheerleaders Don't Wrestle!


     I know that you're going to laugh at this story. I don't even know
why I'm telling it to you. But hell, the ICU ward is a pretty boring
place and I just want to talk a little. None of my friends will come down.
I've got a terrible reputation now. I'm sort of afraid to leave this
place, because EVERYONE's gonna be laughing at me in the outside world.

     My name's Will, and I am...well, used to be, a big man over at the
high school. All the girls wanted to date me, all the guys wanted to be
me, and everybody wanted to be my friend. I was the head of the wrestling
team, and a lot of people said that I was probably the best high school
wrestler this state had ever produced. A LOT of colleges were interested
in snapping me up as soon as I graduated. I suppose that's all over now, 
though.

     One night I was in the school weight room alone, pumping some iron. 
There was a big meet coming up soon, and I wanted to be in peak condition.
Just then, this girl strides in, wearing a white T-Shirt and a pair of
blue shorts. She picks up a couple of those really little weights, the
type people use in aerobics, and begins lifting.

     She had just transferred into our school, so nobody really knew her
yet. Her name was Lisa, and man, was she hot! She had long brown hair,
a killer body, and was supposedly really athletic. She had gotten on the
cheerleading squad, and I heard she was really good at it.

     "The weight room's closed, babe," I said. "You gotta get signed 
permission from the coach to work out this late." 

     She shrugged. "Do you have it?" she said sarcastically.

     "No," I said, putting down the weights. "But I'm the head of the
wrestling team. I get special privileges." She seemed unimpressed. "Well,
since you don't have a pass, I'm afraid you've gotta leave."

     She shook her head. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm comfortable right
where I am."

     "Then I'm gonna have to make you leave," I said, advancing on her,
with a menacing gleam in my eyes.

      "Tell you what," she said, putting down her weights. "I'll wrestle
you. Winner gets to be head of the wrestling team. Loser gets the hell out
of the gym."

     "Deal!" I said eagerly. Hell, I didn't think she had a chance of
winning, and besides, it looked like a good opportunity to cop a cheap
feel. "I've got a wrestling singlet in my locker. Get the mat ready
while I go put it on." I then sped out, eager to get dressed so that the
match could begin. I returned to the gym a couple of minutes later, in
my lucky singlet.

     The bad thing about tights is that they don't do much to conceal
hard-ons. I was really looking forward to what I hoped would be a 
prolonged, sensual, roll on the mats, finished up with a long, body-to-body
pin. She took one look down at my bulging crotch, and sneered. "You're
a pervert," she said angrily. I shrugged and grinned.

     "These are the rules," she said. "There are no rules. Any move you
want is legal. We wrestle until a three-count pin. Submissions don't count.
Injuries don't count. Got that?"

     I smiled, and stepped onto the mat. I then got into my wrestling
stance, and growled, "Let's go."

     Before I could do anything, she walked forward, grabbed one of my
arms, and twisted it behind my back. I strained to pull it away from her,
but couldn't! She hooked one of her arms around my neck, and then pulled
me down onto the mat. I hit the ground HARD. By the time my senses had 
cleared, she was already up on her feet, standing in front of me.

     "Beginner's luck," I snarled, as I tried to get up to my feet. But
before I could stand, she grabbed me by the midsection, pulled me up into
the air (!), and dropped me like a sack of potatoes. Again, I hit the
ground hard.

     I was sort of afraid now. I didn't know how a little cheerleader like
her could be so powerful. She hadn't even broken a sweat yet! I was 
wondering what she'd be like when she actually began exerting herself.
I tried to crawl off, to no avail. She straddled my back, and grabbed me
in a chinlock.

     "What's the matter?" she laughed into my ear. "Had enough ALREADY?"
And then she began to pull up hard. My oxygen supply was cut off, and I
was really afraid that my neck would break. I tried to both hold my
breath and pull her mighty forearms off of me, and failed horribly at
both. The world began swimming, and I nearly blacked out.

     Lisa suddenly relinquished her hold, and slapped me in the face. "You
can't fall asleep!" she barked at me. She then pushed me away from her.
Unsteadily, I got to my feet. As soon as I stopped wobbling, she charged
in again.

     Determined to stop her from winning my title, I grabbed her by the
waist and pulled her down to the mat. She was incredibly firm! I tried
to get the pin, but she rolled away effortlessly. Then, she grabbed my
head, rolled up onto my back, and got me into another chinlock. This time,
I did pass out.

     When I woke up, my head was trapped in her crotch. I had wanted to
get there, but not like this! "Lisa...please no," I begged. "I've had
enough."

     "Too bad," she laughed. "I haven't." With that, she began to squeeze
with a vengeance. I began screaming in pain, as her thighs crushed my skull.
The pain was unbelievable! In the background, I thought I could hear her
laughing hysterically. 

     Just as I was slipping into unconsciousness again, she relinquished
the hold. "I thought you were supposed to be tough," she laughed, as she
grabbed one of my limp wrists and pulled it into an armbar. Lisa then
pulled with all her might, dislocating my shoulder! As I screamed and
writhed in agony, she rolled over to the other side of my body, and did it
again! Just as I was passing out from the pain, she rolled over onto my
chest, mercifully pinning me to the mat.

     "What is this?" I feebly muttered. "Cheerleaders don't wrestle..."

     "Then maybe you should be a cheerleader," she said. "Because now
I'm the head of the wrestling team."

     I woke up in the emergency room. My shoulders and some of my vertebra
were misplaced, and I had a few internal injuries. The surgery took
hours, and was so expensive that my parents had to sell my car. I haven't
seen Lisa since, and I hope never to see her again.