The Alley
F/F Story
by  voiture482@aol.com (Voiture482)


   "And that's what an alley's for, anyway. For the alleycats." Fay
emphasized the words with her cigarette as she regaled the girls on the
late shift one weeknight out at the roadhouse.  House lights were on and
the last truckdriver had settled his tab before hitting the four-lane. Mac
was sweeping up in the back while the all-night show on WBAP played a
George Strait song, and Fay, as usual, was telling stories.
   "Wait, start over," said Sue, the new girl, sitting down next to Pam
and Jessie at the bar. "I had to finish filling the saltshakers. Now which
one was Connie and which one was Ruth?"
   "Connie was the cop and Ruth was the girl who used to work for me," Fay
grinned. "Not that she ever worked that hard. This is back when I had the
old place, back in town. Just barely big enough for the beer taps and the
juke box, let alone any customers. So Connie would come in, she was
working the beat with her partner, you know---"
   "Fat Albert," Pam chimed in. "Lord, yes," Jessie seconded.
   "Right, old Albert. And we always thought Connie buddied up with him
'cause she'd look so skinny standing next to him." The girls laughed. Fay
dragged on her Merit and continued. "So the bar was on their beat, and
they'd come in of a night just to shoot the shit and sneak a cold one.
Well, it was understood they didn't have to pay---being cops and all---but
Ruth got a bug up her ass about it. Whenever she was serving 'em, she'd
make this big sarcastic thing about not having to do a ticket, and she was
really kinda ugly about it. Old Albert was too dumb to notice, but I could
tell Connie got it and that she didn't like it much. Especially when Ruth
did it every time they came in."
   Sue shook her head. "Just because they got a free beer?"
   Smoke wreathed Fay's head as she leaned back against the cash register.
"There had to be more to it than that. Maybe a meter maid snaked her
boyfriend once, I don't know. Or she didn't like the way Connie looked.
You remember, Pam? You remember who she looked like?"
   "Charlene Tilton."
   "'Bout a hamburger shy of being tubby."
   "And Ruth was kind of a looker, too, " Fay went on. "She'd gotten a
boob job that gave her torpedo tits, we called 'em." Everyone laughed. "So
maybe they were bound to bang heads sooner or later anyway. But this all
happened early one Sunday morning. Connie wasn't working that night; she'd
come in with some guy but he'd left without her and she'd been knocking
back a few. Ruth came around to clear the tab and said something about
Connie actually having to pay for a change. Well, one thing led to
another. I was behind the bar and I heard Ruth yell something about beer
and blow jobs and Connie jumped up from her table and I had to jump out
front and get between 'em.
   "That's when I told them if they were gonna be alleycats, they had to
go out in the alley. I didn't figure they would. Figured Connie wanted to
keep her slate clean. But Instead, she gets this funny look in her eye and
licks her lips and says, 'Hey, I ain't got a badge on and my ex has the
kids. Let's see what-all Redneck Barbie's got.'  Meaning Ruth, of course.
Ruth whips off her apron and the next thing I know we're all out in the
alley to watch the fun.
   "Connie's wearing this tank top with her jeans, so you can tell how
she's in pretty good shape for a big girl. Ruth, you can't tell, 'cause
she's got this polo shirt on and with the jeans, you can't see how strong
her legs are. And we're all sort of crowding around, Ruth has got her
fists clenched and Connie's got her back to her, looking down the alley.
Suddenly she whirls around and bam! Sucker punch, right in Ruth's face.
Never seen a woman hit that hard. Makes that smacking noise, like in the
movies. Ruth goes, Gaaa, and falls on her ass. Knocked on her butt, right
there in the alley. And everybody's whooping and hollering. Ruth gets to
her knees, she's on all fours, Connie walks over and grabs her hair with
both hands, pulling her head up. You can see in the streetlight Ruth looks
out of it. Connie starts to say something smartass, but she doesn't
finish, because out of nowhere, Ruth swings this uppercut and catches
Connie right between the legs. If it were a guy it woulda killed him.
Connie yells and grabs her crotch. Ruthie's still on her knees and throws
a left into Connie's gut, hard enough that Connie falls down on her knees
too. Now Ruth has one hand in the hairdo and with the other she's pounding
hell out of Connie's face. Connie tries to protect herself and jabs a
finger in Ruth's eye.
   "So they get to their feet, and now they're circling each other like
boxers, y'know, hunched over, got their dukes up. And Ruth's face looks
like she's done ten rounds already. I figured they'd just poke at each
other, but no, they're swapping licks. Head shots. Takin' aim.  Like it's
a John Wayne movie. And Ruthie catches Connie on the chin and she staggers
back. Ruth comes in with a couple to the ribs and I'm thinking Connie's
going down. Wrong. Connie catches Ruth coming in and drops her with an
elbow to the side of the head."
   Jessie chimed in. "Weren't ya gonna break 'em up?"
   Fay shrugged. "And do what? Call a cop?" The girls laughed. "I figured
it was about over anyway. Ruth's on the ground, trying to get up, and
Connie comes over and kicks her in the belly. Everybody watching goes
'Whoosh'. Connie's standing over her, dog-cussin' her, saying she ought to
get up and finish it. Next thing you know, Ruth has grabbed her boot and
jerked her off her feet. Connie's arms're flapping like a bird, and she
falls flat on her back. Knocks the wind out of her. Ruth jumps on top of
her and starts slamming; boom, boom, Connie's out of it but Ruth's still
punching. We try to pull her off, but she won't turn loose of Connie's
tank top. It takes like four of us to pry her off. So Connie's lying there
on the ground with her face fucked up and her boob hanging out and who
should show up?"
   "Albert?" Sue guessed.
   "None other," Fay continued. "And I'm thinking I'm done for. He's gonna
throw all of us in the tank for letting his partner get the hell beat out
of her and I'm gonna lose my license and who knows what-all. But Big Al's
the perfect gentleman. He puts Connie's boob back in her shirt and helps
her to her feet. Gives her a handkerchief to wipe the blood off her face
and says,'What's going on here?' Connie gives him a look and says, "I fell
down. Think I sprained my wrist.'  Albert checks her out and she's got
scratches all over her knuckles from trying to knock Ruthie's teeth down
her throat. He just says, 'You wanna put some ice on that,' and they
split."
   Pam ran some water in the sink behind the bar. "Ya gotta like a happy
ending," she said.
   "Oh, it wasn't over between those two." Fay fired up another cigarette.
"Remember, Pam? The way they finally had it out was kinda strange." She
blew smoke toward the ceiling. "But save it for another time. Let's see if
we can get outa here before sunrise for a change."
   Sue shook her head and started putting chairs up on top of the tables
as the radio started playing some old song by Wynonna and the other girls
started singing along.