STONECOLD 2: Job Interview By Merz A Strong Woman Just Out Finds a Job “I want a job. Marietta said she’d get word to you about me, give me a job reference. I can start right away. If it’s collections I get ten percent of the stake. If it’s other work I get a thousand for a fatal and five hundred for anything less. How long I take is my business. You don’t ask questions and neither will I.” Well, at least she didn’t beat around the bush. She wasn’t tall, really, just average height I guess, but looked taller. Her boots added a couple inches and what hair she had stood straight up another six or eight inches. A jet black Mohawk that looked like it belonged on some dinosaur or something. Marietta had worked for me before taking a hard fall and going inside. She had sent me a note about a woman who was getting out and would be looking for work. I was kind of surprised Marietta would reach out to me because we hadn’t parted on the best terms. Somehow she got the impression that I left her holding a pretty ugly bag when she went down. But Marietta sent word that it would mean a lot to her for me to find a place for this one, that she was a tough nut who would make herself right at home in my operation. A real tough nut. I looked her over again and touched the button under my desk. Average height with weird hair. Wide as a house, but wearing a long coat so I couldn’t see if she had any curves to sell. But she was talking like she was interested in selling something other than curves. “You want some coffee or something? How is Marietta? She’s getting out in a couple months, isn’t she? After working off that burglary beef?” She settled back in her chair and I heard it creak as her weight shifted. She gave me a bored look. “Okay, we can play it that way. Marietta’s doing as well as she did the first two times she went inside. For fronting drugs, not burglary. And this time she’s going to be away for a long time because of somebody panicking and trying to shoot it out with the cops when the bust came down. Do I pass?” Leroy and Hector came in and lined up against the wall behind her. Hector is a nasty rat, fast as a snake and twice as deadly. Leroy would make two of Hector and thinks it’s funny how easily some guys get broken when he puts a little pressure on them. I have them hang around when they aren’t off on errands, just in case trouble comes knocking or I need a little office problem handled. Like now. “Hey, Leroy, chippy here wants a job. Thinks she can hire on as muscle. Chippy muscle. We got any need for roughing up women?” The big man answered, “Nah, no openings for muscle Mr. Marlowe. My little buddy here keeps the women in line. Maybe we could use her hooking, either in the house or on the street. You want I should check her out? Give her a good interview?” He stepped forward so he towered above her chair and put a big hand on her shoulder. Interviewing a hooker, Leroy was likely to plow a pretty deep furrow. “Stand up, sweetheart, Leroy’s gonna help you off with your coat. Let’s see what you got.” She began standing, then fired a right straight up. It was a reach, but her fist landed right on the big man’s chin. His eyes rolled back and he started a slow spiral down to the floor. She stepped in and caught him, holding him in her arms like a sleeping baby for a moment and looking at me across my desk. She hefted him a couple times. “I figure three hundred, maybe three hundred and ten pounds – a real big boy with a glass jaw.” She dropped him on top of the desk and stood back. I thought the desk was going to collapse under the weight. I was trying not to freak, and trying not to let her see me give Hector the nod to take her out. But I saw her tense up just before he went to work. Hector moved in fast and slugged her right over her kidneys, hard shots, hitting her on both sides. Nobody has much muscle over their kidneys. But even though I saw the impact I didn’t see her even flinch. Instead she backhanded him, then grabbed a handful of hair as he spun from the blow and drove him forward. His face hit the door hard enough to smash some teeth and flatten his nose. Then she showed him what it feels like. Her first punch on each side probably turned his kidneys to jelly. The rest of the punches would send shock waves through his guts and scramble up everything soft inside. She stepped back and let him slide down the door. “If you wanted me to take off the coat, you should have just asked.” She shrugged it off and I almost wet my pants. She tensed the arms and put a pair of huge iron horseshoes at attention in her triceps. I’ve never seen anything like those arms on any man, let alone any woman. I noticed inside her coat she had sewed pockets right over her kidneys and slipped a folded magazine into each side. A neat trick, padding a vulnerable spot. And at least that meant she might be human somewhere under all those muscles. Maybe there was a sledgehammer somewhere that might put a dent in her. “Look, but nobody touches without an invitation. We’ll consider this my first job, and I’ll let you have them both for five hundred – a two for one introductory special.” She ran the knuckles of her left hand along Sleeping Leroy’s cheek and he started to rouse. The callus on her knuckles sounded like sandpaper on his skin and started bringing the big man around. “I’ll leave well enough alone with this creampuff. You’re going to need him to dump his little buddy in an alley somewhere. No fatals yet, but I’d guess that will change in about five minutes when he bleeds out inside.” “So Marlowe, now that I’ve started on the job here are the rest of my terms. Marietta told me about the whorehouse behind the gym. I’m the new live-in bookkeeper there, but on a legit payroll in addition to any rough stuff you need me to do. I get five hundred a week for that, and I really do know bookkeeping. That’s a bargain for you, because I’ll also keep order in the place if any customers act up. I get to use the gym after hours when I want, and no spectators. That’s it. Count out the five hundred and I’ll let you and your expert staff here start carrying out the trash. Meet me in one hour at the house entrance and I’ll have my stuff ready to move in.” “It’s Mister Marlowe,” I told her as I started counting out bills from my desk drawer. My hands were shaking so bad I could hardly handle the fifties, but I made sure I didn’t short her. “Whatever. See you in an hour.” She put the coat back on, putting as much muscle in motion as the whole defensive line of an NFL team, stuffed the bills in her pocket and walked out.