QUEEN OF THE CIRCUS
MERZ  mrmerz@yahoo.com



We all had to do reports in social studies class about somebody interesting in
our community. We had to interview the person and then write about their lives
and what makes them interesting. I was having a hard time thinking of somebody
interesting I could write about, when I remembered Katy's mom. Katy and I have
known each other since about third grade when she and her mother moved here. A
couple of times she has mentioned that her mother used to be in the circus
back in Europe, in a trapeze act. That sounded pretty interesting so I called
up Mrs. Blanco and asked if she would be willing to talk with me about the
circus. She said she would be happy to and we set a time on Saturday.

Like I said, I've known Katy since we were kids. We dated a couple of times
years ago but mostly she's just one of the kids who went my same grade school.
In high school you always seem closer to the people from your grade school
than the kids who came from other grade schools. Katy is on the gymnastics
team and I play football so we see other at sports banquets and that sort of
thing, but we don't get together all that much.

On Saturday Mrs. Blanco told me Katy was at gymnastics practice and led me
into her living room. She's a little shorter than Katy, about five feet four
inches. They both have dark eyes and dark hair except that Mrs. Blonco's hair
now is turning salt and pepper. She isn't trying to hide the gray or anything.
As I walked behind her I couldn't help thinking she had kept her figure better
than my mom, or most of the mothers I know.

She had a pile of scrapbooks on her coffee table. She offered to get me a soda
and told me to sit on the couch so we could look at her books together. I was
paging through the oldest book when she came with my drink and sat next to me.
I was kind of surprised that she sat right next me, with her leg right up
against mine. I had on shorts and she had a dress and I could feel her leg
right against mine. She started talking about the pictures, telling me that
her whole family had been in the circus and she had been a performer beginning
as a young girl. I looked at an old newspaper picture of her family. I could
recognize her right away because she looked just like Katy at about ten years
old. She explained that there were five in the family act, her parents, her
two brothers and her.

As the kids grew they took on more and more prominent roles in the act and the
parents did less. In circus families like hers she said when a person got
married sometimes the wife or husband would be built into the act and
sometimes they would leave the act or get out of the circus all together. Mrs.
Blanco said in Europe it was really tough on a person to leave the circus
because that was like its own little world. All the people you knew were
circus people, you lived mostly in a trailer traveling with circus people, you
went to school by having somebody in the circus teach and you'd just work on
your own from the text books.

The circus people she knew didn't put a lot of weight on school, just enough
to read and write and do enough math to keep the accounts in order. She said
the circus stars were just like our athletes. As long as they could do their
act it didn't matter if they had been to school. They would work out their pay
based on how much an audience liked them. If a performer didn't like the pay
he or she could move to a different circus that paid more, like changing teams
in football. The circus would just go from town to town. All that seemed to
matter was making the audience happy and paying to come back to see the
circus, and hearing the audience cheer for the performers. She said the sound
of the audience was like the sweetest thing she had ever known. She said she
would get drunk just listening to the people cheer her.

Mrs. Blanco described how she and her two brothers became the stars of the act
as their parents got older. There had been another man who was the "catcher"
and caught the person who was swung off a trapeze to do a trick in the air.
The catcher was on another trapeze and had to be coordinated with the
performer so he was in position to keep the performer from falling to the
ground or the net after the trick. As her father got older her took over the
catching and the other man had to go find another circus act to join. By the
time she was a teenager Mrs. Blanco had taken over the hardest parts that her
mother used to do and was sort of a star in her own right. Her oldest brother
did the hardest tricks, her other brother did some and was learning new tricks
they had seen other acts do, and Mrs. Blanco had her own set of things she
would do, different somersaults and passes by her brothers when they changed
trapezes in mid-air. Her father was the boss and would decide who would do
which tricks and the order of the tricks.

The scrapbooks had lots of newspaper clips in some foreign language, and
little handbills advertising the circus, and photographs. I could see Mrs.
Blanco grow up in the photos, along with her two brothers. And I could see her
parents get older with her father losing his hair and start to get a belly.

Mrs. Blanco looked pretty hot in her glittery costume when she was a teenager.
She always had too much makeup on when she was in costume, but nice curves.
There were other pictures of her family and other people in the circus when
they weren't in costume, looking like regular families.

As she described their act Mrs. Blanco was getting more and more excited. She
started sort of bouncing around on the couch, her leg rubbing against mine,
and I was getting kind of a charge out of it. Suddenly she stopped and looked
at me. "You play American football, don't you? You think you are a big strong
boy. To be on the trapeze you must be much stronger. My father was sixty years
old and still catching my brothers on the trapeze, holding them both as they
swung from his arms above the ground. In the circus if you got hurt you still
had to perform, no excuses, no replacements. My father hurt his shoulder once
and still he had to go up every night in front of the audience. Or the act is
through and we don't eat."

Then she opened another scrap book and her story got sadder. She had an old
flyer that had her picture like she was the real star of the show, the queen
of the circus as she put it. Then it all stopped. She said she met a man in
one of the little towns the circus went. She was young and he was handsome and
seemed to have a lot of money. The next thing she knew she was pregnant. She
kept doing the trapeze act for months until she couldn't disguise things
anymore. The owner of the circus was unhappy that she couldn't do her hard
tricks anymore, and then she couldn't go on the trapeze at all. Of course the
man who got her pregnant wouldn't marry her, so she became a mother when she
was barely twenty and her family had to keep the act going to support them
all.

"I was the queen of the circus, but I could not fly. The owner was very angry
with my father because I was on the ground with my baby. I did other things to
help the circus, selling tickets, cleaning, tending to animals, learning from
other performers, working hard but never getting the cheers of the audience.
My brother married a girl and she was brought in to take my place in the act.
I had no place to come back to, even if I didn't have my Katarina to care for.
The trapeze is dangerous, no matter what, and I would not fly when I had my
daughter and no husband. When Katarina was six I took her and we came to
America. If I stayed in Europe my family would want her to join with them in
the circus. I want my daughter to stay away from the circus, to have a normal
American family and a normal life. Soon she will graduate from high school and
go to university. Then she will not need me. I will leave this town and again
go with the circus. It is in my blood."

"What? You're going to do a trapeze act again? At your . . " I just stopped
without saying she was old, but let's face it, she had to be nearly forty.

She looked at me funny, with her eyes half closed. "You think I am an old
woman. I told you, my father was still catching from the trapeze when he was
past sixty. My mother at sixty-two has worked when my brother's wife became
pregnant. I could fly, but that is not what I will do. I could not be the
queen of the circus if I began again with the trapeze. No, I will show that I
am the strongest of women. Then I will hear the crowds once again."

I didn't really know what I was supposed to say to that. A grown woman who
wanted to run away and join a circus seemed pretty weird. "Really? You're
going to challenge other women from the audience to do things, like lift
weights or something?"

She stood up. "You do not believe that I am the strongest. I don't need to
challenge the women. Even in Europe the women would be no match for me. You
are a big American football player. Do you think you are stronger than I am?"
She had her head thrown back and was sort of posing with a hand on her hip and
her nose in the air.

"Mrs. Blanco, I'm a lot bigger than you. And I am on the football team. I work
out, but maybe there are some guys you could beat. I think maybe I should be
going. Thanks for letting me look at your scrapbooks. It was real
interesting." I started to stand up, but she stepped right in front of me and
kind of pushed me back onto the couch as I started to come up.

"You are just a boy. In the circus when I could no longer fly I had to work
hard. I was strong from my trapeze, but I worked hard with the men in the
circus and soon I was as strong as they. Now I lift the weights and I am the
strongest. I will show you." She stepped back so I could get up, then she
grabbed me around the arm with one of her hands. She couldn't reach all the
way around but started kind of squeezing with her fingers on my bicep and her
thumb on my tricep, squeezing hard so I tensed up against the pressure. She
just looked at me and kept squeezing harder and harder so it really hurt. I
thought she was going to crush my arm flat when she stopped. Then she smiled
at me and said, "You think you are the big football player, but I will show
you, you are just a boy. You wait."

She walked to the back of the apartment and I just stood there not knowing if
I should leave quick while she was out of the room. Before I could decide, in
less than a minute, she came back. She had changed her clothes or maybe just
taken off the dress. Now she was in a leotard that really did show off her
curves. She had a real nice shape and I started getting a hardon right away.

"I squeezed your arm. Now you squeeze mine. You will see." And she held her
arm out to me. I didn't know what she was after, but I took hold of her
forearm, and it did feel pretty firm. "Squeeze," she said. "See if you can
squeeze like I did."

I put on a little pressure and I could feel her tense against it, so I put on
a little more. I kept increasing the pressure and she was just standing there
with her head back, looking up at a corner of the ceiling and sort of smiling.
I was about maxxed out while she turned to me with that little smile, and I
couldn't make a dent where I was squeezing. It felt like I was holding a tree
branch or something her arm was so hard. My knuckles were turning white and
she looked like she could barely notice me squeezing.

Then she just reached over with her other hand and peeled my fingers off her
arm like it was nothing and held my hand off of her. I relaxed and put my hand
down. "Wow, you are pretty solid there, Mrs. Blanco. So you work out, huh? Are
you into bodybuilding?" Now I really had a hardon because I just didn't get to
touch very many grown women, especially ones in little outfits like she was
wearing.

"I have seen the American body builder women. They look like birds with no
feathers, all bones and string. I am no skinny bird." Suddenly she tensed her
upper body and arms, not flexing her arms, just tensing. It looked like she
had been inflated by an air hose the way her whole body expanded outwards. The
little leotard got pretty tight around her chest and I could see her nipples
pushing hard against the fabric. She looked at me and smiled again. "You like
it? You have the bulge in the pants like a big man, but you are still a boy.
Show me, do you have a muscle on the arm?"

That kind of ticked me off because a minute ago she had been squeezing and
feeling that I sure do have a muscle on the arm. I flexed my right arm to show
her that all the weight lifting I do isn't wasted. I've got some of the best
guns in school. She got her little smile again, then flexed her own arm and I
about fell over. Her arms looked kind of thick, and now I knew she was in good
shape. But when she flexed I saw this huge ball roll up on her arm, grabbing
all the flesh from her elbow to her deltoid and concentrating it into a ball
the size of a baseball, with a tricep just as serious hanging down below. The
skin was so tight over her bicep it looked like the muscle was trying to burst
free of her arm and fly off. "You think you like to squeeze my arm again?" she
asked.

I didn't, in a way, but that ball was so incredible I just had to touch it,
almost to make sure it was real. It was real, all right, hard as marble and
warm and smooth. She was getting a real kick out this because she could see
how hot and bothered I was. "Stand straight like a tree," she directed me and
put her arm down. I stood at attention wondering what was next. Mrs. Blanco
grabbed my pants at the belt line, sank down a little bit, then lifted me
right off the ground and over her head. My head was against the ceiling and
the crotch of my pants was just about cutting me in half. I was gripping her
wrists to take some of my weight off my balls. She lowered me a foot or so,
then pressed me right back up like I weighed eighteen pounds instead of one-
eighty. She put me down and stood back, her arms crossed and her head thrown
back. "You see? I am the strongest. I will show you more."

She left the room again and came back carrying a horseshoe. She handed it to
me and I saw it was bent and twisted some. "You try. You bend the horseshoe."
I pushed and pulled on it, but the thing was steel so I knew there was no way
a person could bend it. I handed it back and she smiled at me as she gripped
it in both hands. Suddenly she exploded with effort, her arms swelling and
cords standing out in her neck as she strained against the metal. I saw that
she was untwisting it so it was flat again, then just powered on twisting it
the opposite way.

"Now feel the arm," she said with her teeth gritted. I felt and it was like I
was feeling a steel cable moving under her skin. She stopped and handed me the
shoe again. "You want to try now I have shown you how?" I took it again, but
as I reached she suddenly dropped her hand to my crotch and got a good feel
herself. "So, the arms are soft but the boy can sometimes be hard," she
laughed at me. "Maybe I see how hard, maybe I bend you instead of bending
horseshoes."

Just then the door opened and Katy came in. She dropped her gym bag in the
middle of the room and stared, trying to figure out what was going on. She
figured it out pretty quick when she saw her mother's hand feeling my pecker.
"Mother! Stop this! What do you think you're doing? What are you doing here,
Todd?"

I started stammering but Mrs. Blanco just stood there looking proud of herself
, her arms crossed, watching her daughter.

"Your mother was just telling me about when she was in the circus, and how she
wants to go back to the circus after you get out of high school."

"Mother, stop this foolishness. Get dressed. You're embarrassing me in front
of my friend."

"He says the truth. When you are done with this school you won't need me to be
the mother. Then I can go back. I will be the queen of the circus." Mrs.
Blanco had her head thrown back like she was already listening to the
applause.

Katy crossed the room to her mother and gave her a sharp slap. I was amazed
that a sweet kid like Katy would dare hit her mother. Mrs. Blanco looked
pretty shocked as well and swung to hit her back. Katy caught her wrist and
when Mrs. Blanco tried to slap her with the other hand Katy caught that one as
well.

"Have you been telling Todd you are the strongest, that people will come to
the circus to see you? You know you aren't. Tell me who is the strongest." And
Katy squeezed Mrs. Blanco's wrists. I expected Mrs. Blanco would just toss
Katy off, but I saw she was struggling and couldn't get loose. "Tell me who is
the strongest," Katy told her again. I saw her little hands were just crushing
into Mrs. Blanco's wrists. In a moment Katy forced her down onto her knees.
"Tell me."

"You. You my daughter are the strongest," Mrs. Blanco finally gasped out. Katy
released her and I could see nasty red marks where her hands had been crushing
her mother's wrists. "Get up, Mother. You know the punishment for trying to
strike the stronger person. You taught it to me." Mrs. Blanco got up, looking
kind of scared about whatever was going to happen next. Katy took off her warm
up jacket so she just had a tank top on.

"The punishment is belly punching. Begin." I expected Katy meant she was going
to hit her mother and I was about to stop her, but instead she put her hands
behind her back. "Begin," she said again and her mother threw a punch into
Katy's stomach. Katy didn't look like she even felt it. She just braced
against the blow and took it, her hands still behind her back. "Harder."

Mrs. Blanco punched her again, and this time it did sound like it was a harder
punch but Katy didn't flinch. "Again. Again. Again." Katy kept telling her
mother to punch her and Mrs. Blanco kept doing it, and then I realized the
punishment was for Mrs. Blanco to beat up her hands hitting Katy. After six or
eight punches I could see tears in Mrs. Blanco's eyes and she gave a little
wimper each time her fist landed. Finally Katy told her it was enough. "Go
soak your hands in cold water and they won't swell as much.

When Mrs. Blanco left the room Katy turned to me. "So you're doing that
'interesting person' report on my mother. If you know what's good for you, you
will end your paper when we left Europe." She took the horseshoe out my hand
and held it in front of my face. When she twisted the metal between her hands
she made it look easy. "Nothing interesting has happened since, and it won't
as far as you are concerned. It's possible Mother and I will go back to the
circus, but now you and she both know who will be the queen. Goodbye, Todd.
I'll look forward to reading your report before you hand it in."

I headed out the door and just couldn't quit thinking about how strong Mrs.
Blanco was, and how great it was feeling her hard muscles, and how hot she
looked in her little leotard. And then I thought about Katy. I knew I wouldn't
look at her the same way again and that was kind of scary.