Meet Jennifer Warren, the new Heavyweight Boxing Champion of the World
by M.C.
Reporters hold a press conference with the new Heavyweight Boxing Champion, an 18 year-old high school girl!


As the large group of journalists sat down for the post-fight press conference
with the newly crowned heavyweight boxing champion of the world, they were
still trying to come to terms with the incredible event that they had just
witnessed. For not 30 minutes earlier, they had watched in absolute disbelief
as the previously undefeated (and seemingly invincible) Jim Morgan was
literally destroyed by a pretty 18 year-old high school girl! In fact, so
badly did Jennifer Warren beat up the champ that he had to be taken to the
hospital after the five foot-six inch 130 pound girl battered the six foot-six
inch 275 pound fighting machine around the ring for four rounds before
knocking him out with a mighty right uppercut to the jaw in the fifth (some
spectators insist that Jim Morgan was literally lifted off the canvas by the
force of her punch). So as the attractive young brunette sat down to conduct
her first question and answer session as the new heavyweight boxing champion,
the pressroom was abuzz with excitement.

Author's note:

Because there were so many reporters in the room asking Jennifer questions,
I'm simply going to lump them all together by referring to whomever asks her a
question as "reporter".

Reporter: Miss Warren, how do you feel about your amazing victory this
evening?

Jennifer: Not bad, not bad at all. I was a little bit disappointed that he
couldn't have lasted longer though. I was having so much fun with him in the
ring. And by-the-way, you can call me Jenny if you'd like, all of my friends
do.

Reporter: Very well Miss, err I mean Jenny. What was the most difficult
problem you encountered during your fight against the champ, or should I say
the ex-champ, tonight?

Jenny: Well, in the first round my long, pretty hair kept getting in my eyes
and kind of blocked my vision. So during the break between the first and
second rounds I asked one of my friends to tie my hair back into a ponytail.
And after she had done so, it didn't give me any more problems.

Reporter: Actually Jenny, I was referring to Jim Morgan, your opponent and
former champion.

Jenny: Oh him (giggles). Well no, I didn't really have any problems with him
at all during the fight.

Reporter: None whatsoever?

Jenny: No, not at all. Like I said, I was just disappointed that he couldn't
have lasted longer. He was so much fun to beat up. He made a lovely punching
bag, tee, hee, hee.

Reporter: I noticed that you had some of your girlfriends from school in your
corner cheering you on for your fight.

Jenny: (Wide smile) Yes, that was wonderful. I'm so happy that my friends were
able to come and watch me beat up the champ and take his title. They're my
teammates on the gymnastics team and we're all best friends. So after the
press conference I'm going to take them all out and treat them to a nice
dinner to celebrate my victory.

Reporter: Do you have a boyfriend Jenny?

Jenny: No I don't (sigh). I guess that there aren't many boys who want to be
with a girl that can beat up her entire high school football team as well as
their coaches. They probably find me kind of, well intimidating.

Reporter: You beat up your entire high school football team?

Jenny: (Giggles) Yes, and their coaches too. You see, they were all a bunch of
bullies, always pushing the other students around. I complained a lot about
it, both to the high school staff as well as their coaches. But nobody seemed
to want to do anything about it. Then one afternoon I said to myself that
enough is enough. Since nobody wanted to deal with this problem, I decided to
take matters into my own hands, or should I say fists (wink). I went into the
weight room where I knew they'd be working out, locked the door behind me and
gave them all a good beating.

Reported: And the coaches too?

Jenny: Well yes. I felt that, as their coaches, they were just as responsible
for the team's behavior as their players were. So why should I have let them
off the hook?

Reporter: So what happened after that?

Jenny: (Grin) Well since then, I haven't heard of a single instance of
bullying by the football players in school, or anybody else for that matter.
As much as I hate to say it, sometimes force is the only language some people
seem to understand.

Reporter: Getting back to the fight tonight Jenny, why did you spend the first
half of the fourth round just standing in your corner and blocking Jim's
punches without fighting back?

Jenny: Well I didn't think it was fair that I was doing all the punching. So I
decided to let the champ try and punch me for a while and I would just try to
block his blows. But as you all saw, he didn't manage to land even one single
punch. I blocked them all (smirk). Then for the last minute of the round I
resumed punching him again.

Reporter: And we also noticed that you seemed to be having a casual
conversation with your friends while you were blocking his punches. What were
you girls talking about?

Jenny: (Giggles) We all saw some lovely new summer bathing suits at the mall
yesterday and were discussing who would look better in which color. You know
how finicky girls can be about their clothes, nobody wants to wear the same
color as their friends. So I decided to buy the pink one, it's my favorite
color you know. (Jennifer pointed to her shocking pink boxing gloves that she
used to batter the six foot-six inch, 275 pound Jim Morgan into submission). I
think I'll look just wonderful in my new pink bathing suit this summer.

Reporter: Why did you decide to knock him out in the fifth round?

Jenny: Well you all saw how badly beaten he was by the end of the fourth
round. I had to wrap my arm around his waist and help him get back to his
corner and then sit him down on his stool. So even though Jim Morgan is
arrogant, macho bully, by then I began to feel sorry for him. I may be a
boxer, but I'm also a sensitive 18 year-old girl with not a not a single cruel
or sadistic bone in me. So I decided at the end of the fourth round that he
had had enough and I would put him out of his misery and knock him out in the
fifth. I do feel kind of bad that he had to go to the hospital though (frown).
I guess I must have hit him too hard with my knockout punch. The poor dear.

Reporter: What punch did you hit him with to knock him out?

Jenny: Well there are three kinds of punches that I use in a boxing match. I
call them my 'Goldilocks and the three bears' punches. The first is my 'mama
bear' punch. It's the hardest and I usually reserve it only for knockouts.
Next is my 'baby bear' punch. It's a soft punch that I use to rapidly pepper
my opponents, usually in the early rounds of my fights. But my favorite punch
is the 'Goldilocks punch', you know, not too hard and not to soft, in other
words just right. But I guess my 'mama bear' punch was just too much for the
champ. I'll go and pay him a visit at the hospital after I take my friends out
to dinner to make sure that he's all right.

Reporter: So now that you're the heavyweight boxing champion of the world
Jenny, what are your plans?

Jenny: (Glancing over at the Heavyweight Champion Belt lying on the table in
front of her) Well, although the crown fits me O.K. this belt will definitely
have to be altered a bit. It's way too big for me. I guess that whoever
designed it never took into account that the heavyweight boxing champ might
someday be an 18 year-old girl. Tee, hee, hee.

Reporter: But what I meant was, do you plan to defend your title soon?

Jenny: Oh I'd love to. It would be fun to beat up some more rough, tough,
macho men (smirk).

Reporter: Have you chosen an opponent for your first title defense?

Jenny: Hmmm, let's see. As I understand it, according to the rules I'm
supposed to fight one of the top five contenders within a reasonable amount of
time. But I really can't decide which one to fight first. So I think I'll just
fight all five of them on the same night, one after the other (gasps were
heard all around the press room when Jennifer said this).

Reporter: Do you really think you can? I mean these are all large, strong,
rough, tough guys, and you're just an 18 year-old girl. Do you really think
that you can beat them all on the same night Jenny?

Jenny: You guys are really all quite so silly aren't you? (Jennifer winked at
her giggling friends when she said this). You obviously weren't paying
attention to what you saw tonight. I just beat up the previously undefeated
heavyweight boxing champion of the world and someone you yourselves said was
virtually invincible. And I did it without even getting my pretty hair mussed
(Jennifer then fluffed up her long, beautiful brown hair to emphasize her
point). If I had wanted to, I could have probably knocked him out as early as
the second round. But I wanted to have some fun with him while teaching that
macho bully a lesson, and also give the crowd their money's worth. So yes,
I'll take on the top five contenders all on the same night, if only to teach
you macho, male reporters a lesson too.

Jennifer then glanced at her watch. "Well good people, I'm afraid our time
here is up. Like I said before, I promised my girlfriends I'd take them all
out to dinner after the fight and I'm a girl who always keeps her word. And
after that I'll go and visit Jim Morgan in the hospital to make sure that he's
all right and apologize for hitting him too hard when I knocked him out with
my 'mama bear' punch. And finally, I still have a bit of homework to do. Don't
forget, I'm still a high school girl and I really want to maintain my perfect
4.0 grade point average. So I'm afraid that I'll have to wish you all a very
pleasant evening. We'll meet again after my next fight, or fights I should
say. So good-bye for now."

And as we watched this amazing and beautiful 18 year-old high school girl (a
girl who had just battered the previously undefeated heavyweight boxing
champion of the world to a pulp without even working up a sweat) get up from
her chair, don her crown, sling her newly won heavyweight championship belt
over her shoulder and lead her giggling girlfriends out of the press room, all
of the reporters present were no doubt wondering the same thing to themselves:
that from this day forward the world would somehow be never be quite the same.

Later That Night.

It was 11:30 P.M. and the room at the hospital was pitch dark. As the large,
muscular man lay in his bed recovering from his beating, he thought about the
events that had happened to him that evening, and he began to cry. He, Jim
Morgan, the undefeated heavyweight boxing champion of the world, entered the
boxing ring full of confidence to fight his next opponent - a high school
girl! And half an hour later he was taken out of the ring on a stretcher,
battered to a pulp by a girl who laughed and giggled with her friends while
giving him the beating of his life! As far as he was concerned his life was
over. How could he, one of the most feared boxers of all time, ever show his
face in public again after the public humiliation this girl had put him
through? His life, for all intents and purposes, was over, and he was crying.

The door to his room quietly opened. He vaguely caught a glimpse of a
silhouetted female form entering before the door closed and it was dark again.
"Must be a nurse," he thought to himself. "Coming to do another test." He
heard the sound of a chair being pulled up next to his bed. "Hello Mr.
Morgan," he heard a somewhat familiar voice (though he couldn't place it)
softly say. "I hope you're recovery is going O.K." A long pause then followed
before his still unknown visitor continued. "I'm not sorry about the beating I
gave you earlier this evening. You're a big bully who enjoys beating people
up, both inside and outside of the boxing ring. And worse than that, I hear
that you also like to slap your girlfriends around. I am sorry though about
the final knockout punch that I hit you with. I should have been a bit more
gentle with it. But I really felt that I needed to teach you a good lesson."

Jim Morgan, already in tears after the beating and humiliation this 18
year-old girl gave him, began to cry even more. "You humiliated me if front of
the entire world! You beat me up while casually talking and giggling with your
friends throughout the whole fight! How can I ever show my face in public
again? I'm ruined."

Jennifer sighed. "As I said before Jim, you got the beating you deserved, and
I'm not sorry about that. After all, you were the undefeated heavyweight
champion of the world, weren't you? So in order to take your title I had to
beat you up. That's simply the way it works in boxing. I'm just sorry about
the last punch I hit you with - my 'mama bear' punch. Perhaps that was a bit
too much for you."

As the once feared (but now broken) boxer lay on his bed, crying before her,
Jennifer suddenly felt an urge that she had never felt before. Without
completely understanding why, the beautiful 18 year-old girl (and now
undisputed heavyweight boxing champion of the world), reached over and began
to gently fondle Jim's penis. And as she did so, his penis began to get hard,
very hard. Jennifer then found herself slowly removing her clothes. And when
she felt that Jim was about to explode, she mounted him.

Eight Years Later.

Jim Morgan Warren (he took his wife's last name) strapped his five year-old
daughter into her car seat and began to drive to the boxing arena. "Who is
mommy going to beat up tonight daddy?" his daughter asked.

"I don't know Cathy," he replied. "Does it really matter? Whoever it is, he's
going to get a good beating, just like all the others who were either brave or
dumb enough to challenge your mother in the ring."

"Just like she did to you, right daddy?"

"Well yes, that's right honey. But while your mother did indeed give me a
comprehensive beating that night, she also wound up teaching me humility, as
well as how to truly love a woman."

"How did she do that?"

Jim smiled. "I'll explain it to you when you get older honey. But for now,
let's just enjoy watching your amazing mother in action." And so they did as
they watched Jennifer easily batter her 120th consecutive opponent into
submission (Jennifer was forced to abdicate her heavyweight boxing title while
she was pregnant with Cathy and for a few months after she was born. But she
quickly regained her title after returning to the boxing ring).

"Oh mommy, you were wonderful tonight," Cathy said as she hugged her mother.
"But then you always are, aren't you. When I grow up I'm going to be just like
you, tee, hee."

"I'm sure you will be honey," Jennifer said with a smile. Then the undefeated
woman boxer took both her daughter and husband by the hand and led them out of
the boxing arena. "Come my sweeties, let's go out and have a nice dinner to
celebrate my victory." And so they did.