The Book of Rachael
By M.C.
A long forgotten Biblical book describes the exploits of the mighty female warrior who replaced Samson


Rachael was lying next to me playing the lute as we relaxed in the shade of a
large oak tree while our flock of sheep grazed in a near-by field. Rachael was
orphaned when she was a child of six after both of her parents were tragically
killed in a raid by marauders. As I was an only child, my parents adopted her
to help me tend to our sheep as well as the other chores we had to do around
our small farm. As children we first related to each other like we were
brother and sister. But as we got older, our relationship blossomed into
something much more serious.

As we lay there I suddenly saw what appeared to be a very bright light
developing in front of us. And as it became brighter and brighter, we had to
squint our eyes just to look at it. "What is this strange thing Rachael?" I
asked as we both rose to our feet. "I'm scared."

"I don't think there's any need to be afraid Simon," she replied as she
reached out and gently squeezed my hand. "I don't believe it means us any
harm." Just as soon as she finished saying that, the bright light vanished and
we were staring at what appeared to be an old man. He had a long white beard
and was holding a tall staff.

"You are quite correct Rachael," he said in a deep baritone voice. "You and
Simon have nothing whatsoever to fear."

"Who are you, and what are you doing here?" my intrepid friend asked him.

"I am an Angel of the Lord Rachael, and I have been sent here to make you an
offer."

"What kind of offer would an Angel of the Lord be offering this poor, humble
shepherd girl?" she asked.

For the first time since he appeared, the Angel smiled. "I see now why the
Lord has chosen you. Samson, the mighty protector of the Israelites, was
killed a few days ago. He brought down a pagan Philistine temple on top of
him, killing thousands of people in the process (Judges: Chapter 16). And the
Lord now needs another mighty warrior to replace him - and he has chosen you
Rachael."

"Me? Why me? As I told you before, I'm just a poor, humble shepherd girl, and
I'm not even very strong. How could I possibly replace the mighty Samson and
be the protector of the Israelites?"

"It's exactly because you are a poor, humble shepherd girl that the Lord has
chosen you Rachael. You see, despite his great strength, Samson did have a
weakness, a weakness that was to prove his undoing. He was vain and consumed
with pride, and that allowed Delilah to deceive him into cutting his hair
there-by depriving him of his strength. But you are neither proud nor vain
and, therefore, will not be susceptible to the character flaws that brought
Samson down." The Angel then paused for a few moments allowing what he had
just said to sink in, then he continued. "And as to your lack of physical
strength Rachael (he began to move his staff towards her until it rested on
the top of Rachael's head), I hear-by impart to you the strength and power of
the mighty Samson."

As I watched in amazement, the staff started to glow in a bright golden color.
Rachael appeared to be unharmed but I couldn't help noticing certain changes
occurring in her physical appearance. First of all, her hair began to grow.
Rachael usually cut it when it reached her shoulders, but now it was halfway
down her back, and still growing! Also, she seemed to be getting taller and
more muscular, much more muscular (though she still maintained her beautiful
body shape and proportions). By the time the glow of the staff ceased, Rachael
was as tall as I was (I used to tower over her), and her beautiful brown hair
now reached all the way down to her waist.

"Like Samson, your hair is the source of your power Rachael. But unlike him,
your hair cannot be cut so you will never lose your strength. It is the Lord's
hope that you will temper your great strength with both wisdom and compassion.
I know that it's a great responsibility to be placed upon such a young woman
Rachael, but we believe that you are indeed up to the task. We wish you all
the best." After the Angel finished speaking there was another flash of bright
light.and then he was gone.

An awkward few minutes of silence followed after the Angel had departed as
both Rachael and I tried to come to terms with the amazing event that had just
occurred. I finally broke the silence when I asked my girlfriend, "How.how do
you feel Rachael? Do you feel different in any way?"

She smiled at me, held out her right hand and put her little pinky underneath
my chin. And then, without exerting even the slightest bit of effort, easily
lifted my 200 pound body completely off the ground and held me up several feet
in the air. "Let's put it this way Simon, do you remember when we were
children and we used to wrestle against each other?" I nodded. "And you would
always beat me because you were larger and stronger, right?" Again I nodded. "
Well big boy, would you like to wrestle against me now?"

Dangling several feet off the ground by her little pinky I shook my head. "No
Rachael. I think I'll pass on the wrestling if it's all the same to you."

"That's an excellent idea honey," she giggled as she gently lowered me to the
ground.

Just then we heard a loud ROAR! It was coming from the direction where our
flock was grazing. "It's the lion!" I shouted. "He's back, and he's come to
eat another one of our sheep!" I took my sling and desperately looked for some
rocks to hurl at him. Perhaps, if I was lucky, I could hit him and maybe drive
him away; although I really wasn't too optimistic about that idea because he
was a very large lion. But I still felt I had to try to do something to
protect our sheep.

"That won't be necessary Simon," Rachael calmly said. "I'll 'take care' of
him. You stay here where you'll be safe." I watched as my lifelong friend (and
lover) bravely walked down to confront this fierce lion that had already
killed several of our herd. She stood in front of him with her hands on her
hips. "O.K. Mr. lion, you've killed the last of our sheep. Now I'm going to
teach you a lesson that you'll never forget."

What happened next had to be seen to be believed. The huge lion attacked
Rachael, but she simply held up her hands, grabbed him by his paws, flipped
him over and slammed him to the ground. "First round to the girl," she
laughed. Another loud ROAR followed as the angry lion got up and attacked her
again. Just before the lion slammed into her, Rachael put out her left hand
with her fingers open and, without budging so much as a single inch, stopped
him cold. She then leaped unto his back, locked her legs around his neck and
grabbed his large mane. "O.K. big boy, give me a nice ride now."

Desperately the fierce beast attempted to throw Rachael off his back, but she
just giggled. "You'll have to do better than this Mr. lion, tee, hee." She
then smiled at me. "This is much more fun than riding a horse honey." After
about two minutes, Rachael tightened her leg grip around his neck, forcing the
lion to gasp for air. She then dismounted, walked behind him and grabbed his
tail with her right hand.

"Well Mr. lion, I guess it's time to send you on your way.and I wouldn't come
back if I were you." Holding him firmly by the tail, Rachael began to whorl
the 400 pound lion around and around above her head as if he was a small
kitten. And as she spun him around faster and faster, his once ferocious roars
were reduced to nothing more than pathetic shrieks. Faster and faster Racheal
spun him around until the hapless lion appeared to be nothing more than a blur
to me. "Happy landings Mr. lion," she laughed as she let him go.

Behind the field where our sheep were grazing there's a series of low lying
hills. I watched in total astonishment as the lion literally flew over the
hills and vanished from our sight. "There," Rachael said with a grin, "I don't
think that mean ole lion will be bothering our sheep anymore." Then she took
me by the hand and said, "come Simon, it's time round up our flock and take
them back to their pens."

After we locked the last of our sheep into their pens, Rachael turned to me
and said in a serious tone of voice, "Simon honey, we need to have a talk. As
you know I am now the successor to Samson and the protector of the Israelites.
It's become my responsibility to defend our people against all aggressors,
that is to say those that want to do us harm. I've heard rumors that the
Philistines of the city of *Ashkelon are threatening to attack their
neighbors, our people. So I've decided to go over there in the hopes that I
can dissuade them from pursuing their aggressive actions."

(*Author's note: According to the Bible, the Philistines inhabited five
city-states in what is today Gaza and Israel around 1100 B.C.E. - Gaza,
Ashkelon, Ashdod, Ekron and Gath).

"Now I want you to understand Simon, that as the protector of the Israelites,
I may very well have to do some things that might not be very pleasant for you
to watch me do - after all Samson killed a thousand Philistines with nothing
more than the jawbone of donkey (Judges: Chapter 15). Hopefully I won't have
to do anything quite so extreme, but if I have to I will. I just want to warn
you in advance of what I might have to do honey. So I'm going down to Ashkelon
now. But if you'd prefer to remain here I'll certainly understand."

After giving it a few moments of thought, I replied, "I.I'd really like to go
along with you Rachael. I'd like to see you in action again. Watching the way
you dealt with that fierce lion a little while ago, well you were magnificent.
I found watching you very. well.erotic."

Rachael looked down at the bulge I had in my pants and began to giggle. "I see
what you mean, tee, hee, hee. Very well then you stud you, let's go."

Since Ashkelon was located on the Mediterranean coast and we lived in the
highlands, it took us well over an hour to walk down there. As we approached,
I asked my mighty girlfriend, "Do you have any idea what you're going to do
when we arrive Rachael?"

"Hmmm.not yet Simon. Remember, this Samson thing is still rather new to me.
But I'll think of something. Hopefully it won't involve hurting a lot of
people." She noticed that there was a large walled fortress standing just
outside the entrance of the city proper. "It must be where the Philistine
soldiers guarding the city are quartered. I think I'll start with that." Then
Rachael looked at me. "I think you'd better wait here honey. Things might get
a bit messy and I wouldn't want to expose you to any unnecessary danger. I'll
let you know when it's safe to get closer." She playfully pinched my cheek and
then began walking towards the fortress.

The fortress had only one entrance, a large iron gate which was closed. From
where I stood it looked very imposing. It was at least twenty feet high and
must have weighed many tons. As Rachael bravely walked up to it, several of
the guards on the top of the wall looked down at her and began to laugh -
after all, what did they have to fear from a single girl? After giving the
gate a good look-over, Rachael placed her hands into two of the small slats
that the guards used to see who was outside, then she began to pull.

I watched in utter amazement as the huge gate slowly started to yield to her
strength. First it began to buckle, then I heard the screeching sounds of
metal being twisted, and finally my amazing girlfriend literally ripped the
gate from its hinges and casually tossed it to the ground. Then she entered
the fortress.

Almost immediately I began to hear the sounds of fighting coming from the
interior of the fortress. Soldiers shouting, swords clashing. Because I was
standing a fairly good distance away and at an angle to the entrance, I
couldn't see what was going on inside, but I could certainly hear it. And as
the battle raged on the sounds of men shouting was gradually replaced by the
sounds of them screaming.

After about a quarter of an hour of this mayhem things began to quiet down
inside the fortress - followed a few minutes later by complete silence. I
waited nervously for any sign of Rachael. Finally she emerged and greeted me
with a wide smile, fluffed up her long, beautiful brown hair and motioned for
me to come over. "It's O.K. sweetie pie, you can get closer now. There's
nobody here who can harm you. Then she added with a grin, "nobody conscious
that is."

Overcome with awe, I ran up to my super girlfriend, put my arms around her and
gave her a long, loving hug. And as I did so, I couldn't help but notice that
she didn't have so much as a single mark or scratch on her. As I was now
standing directly in front of the entrance to the fortress (where the large
gate once stood), I took a peek inside - and was astounded by what I saw.
There must have been hundreds of Philistine soldiers lying in heaps and piles
all over the ground. Hundreds! All subdued by one single girl!

"How many of them did you kill Rachael?"

"Fortunately, I didn't have to kill any of them honey. I just knocked them all
out with my fists." Rachael then began to giggle. "Then I took their commander
over my knees and gave him a good spanking. And while I was doing so, I warned
him of what I would do if they ever threatened the Israelites again."

"And what would that be?"

"That I would come back here, go straight into their city and completely
destroy it. I'd make sure that there wouldn't be a single structure standing
by the time I was through with them." When Rachael saw the look on my face
when she said this, she softened her tone. "Look Simon, I don't have to tell
you that this world can be a very rough place, after all, just look at what
happened to my parents, and your father (my father was killed in a war against
the Amorites). But whether I like it or not, I have been tasked with the
responsibility of protecting our people. And the sad truth is that the only
language some people seem to understand is the language of strength and
toughness - in other words 'hurt my people and I'll hurt yours ten times
more'. What I did here today may very well prevent me from having to come back
and doing something which would be far worse."

Rachael then gave me a passionate kiss. "It's getting late honey. I believe
your mother is preparing us a nice chicken soup for dinner, and I surely don't
want to miss your mother's delicious chicken soup."

"It's probably too late already Rachael. After all, it's almost sunset. It
took us over an hour to walk down here. And don't forget, the way back is all
uphill."

My amazing girlfriend smiled at me. "You've being very presumptuous Simon. You
forget that I not only acquired Samson's great strength, but also certain
other of his unique abilities."

"Like what Rachael?"

"Climb on my back and I'll show you." After I did as she asked, Rachael said,
"now wrap your arms tightly around my neck and hold on while I support your
legs. I'm going to give you a wonderful piggy-back ride home."

'Wonderful' was, if anything, an understatement. I've never traveled so fast
before. Even the fastest horse couldn't match the speed that my incredible
girlfriend was running at now. When we reached the stream near our house
Rachael didn't even bother to use the bridge, she simply leaped over it - a
full forty feet! "Isn't this fun Simon?" she laughed. It took us over an hour
to walk down to the Philistine city of Ashkelon, and Rachael ran us back in
less than ten minutes - and that was with me on her back! "I could have made
it sooner honey," Rachael told me as we entered our home, "but it might have
been a bit too rough for you."

"Rachael?" my mom asked as she placed two large bowls of chicken soup on the
table in front of us. "You somehow look different today, you appear to
be.taller. And did you do something with your hair?"

"I have gone through a rather unusual growth spurt recently mom (Rachael
looked at me and grinned, and even though she was not her natural daughter,
Rachael always referred to my mother as mom). And yes, I have decided to let
my hair grow longer. Do you like it this way?"

"Yes I do as a matter of fact. It's very pretty. So tell me kids, did anything
interesting happen to you today?"

"Hmmm.let's see. The mean ole lion that had been attacking our sheep returned
today. But Rachael beat him up and tossed him over the hills. Then we walked
down to Ashkelon and she beat up hundreds of Philistine soldiers and told them
to leave the Israelites alone or else she'd destroy their entire city (I felt
Rachael gently kick my foot under the table after I said this). And then she
ran back here with me on her back.in just ten minutes."

My mother sighed. "You know Simon, ever since you were a small child you've
had a very vivid imagination. But I think you may have gone a bit over the
line on this one."

"You're right mother. Rachael and I had just another normal day tending the
sheep. Absolutely nothing out of the ordinary occurred." I felt another gentle
kick from Rachael and I winked back at her.

For the next several days nothing unusual happened, although Rachael did pull
out a few rather large old trees from one of the fields to make more room for
planting. She wrapped her powerful arms around their trunks and literally
ripped them out of the ground - roots and all. Then one morning as we were
getting ready to take our sheep out to the fields she said, "Simon, I'm afraid
you're going to have to take the flock out by yourself this morning. It
appears that I have a bit of work to do. I'll try to return in time to help
you bring them back."

"What's going on Rachael?"

"I received a vision a few minutes ago. It seems that a large fleet of ships
with many soldiers from a faraway land is about to invade our country up north
and I have been summoned to prevent that from happening." Then she hugged me
and added," I'll try to get back as soon as I can honey." And off she went.

That day went by very uneventfully - for me that is. By early afternoon as I
was beginning to gather the flock together and take them back to their pens I
heard a familiar voice behind me. "Do you need any help honey?"

"Rachael! You're back! I was so worried about you."

After a long, loving hug my beautiful girlfriend said, "that's very sweet of
you to be worried about me Simon, but I'm really not the one you should be
worried about. It's the ones I confront you should be fearful for. Come, let's
gather up the sheep and I'll tell you all about it while we're walking them
back."

"You see honey, it's like this. By this time I ran up to Acco (Acre in modern
times) the invading fleet had already disembarked. I don't know how many
soldiers there were but they must have numbered at least several thousand.
They came from someplace called Greece. Anyway, when I confronted them on the
beach, I ordered them to turn around immediately and leave, or be prepared to
face the consequences. They were led by a giant of a man called Hercules whom
they described as the 'God of Strength'. Hoping to avoid unnecessary
bloodshed, I challenged this Hercules to a wrestling match, and if I won he
would take his army and leave - and he accepted." Rachael then began to
giggle.

"What's so fully about this Rachael?"

"Oh nothing really. All the Greeks thought he was so strong and tough, how
could their mightiest warrior possibly lose to a girl? But he really wasn't
all that tough, at least not for me anyway. I played around with for him a
while before putting him down for good. Then I took him over my knees and gave
him a good spanking. 'This is for trying to conquer my country', I said as I
spanked him. I thought that by humiliating their champion warrior in front of
the entire Greek army I'd convince them to heed my warning and leave, but it
didn't go quite the way I planned."

"What did they do?"

"They attacked me, so I had to beat up a lot of them."

"You beat up thousands of Greek warriors Rachael? Did you kill any?"

"No honey, I didn't. And I only beat up about half of them. After they finally
realized that they couldn't defeat me, the rest of them threw down their
weapons and surrendered. I told them that they had just one hour to board
their ships and leave. To emphasize my point, I dove into the water, swam out
to one of their ships and punched several holes in its hull, sinking it."
Rachael began to giggle again. "I believe they got my point because I've never
seen so many men move so fast before. Tee, hee, hee." Then she looked at me.
"Why are you staring at me like that Simon?"

"It's just that.it's just that I can't believe what you did today Rachael. You
ran over 100 miles up to Acco, beat up half an army and then ran all the way
back to help me bring back the sheep. I honestly don't know how to deal with
this."

After we returned the flock to their pens my mighty girlfriend gently took my
hand and led me over to a near-by rock. After we sat down she looked at me for
a while, as if she was formulating what to say. "Simon honey," she began,
"there are some things you need to understand about me. First of all, despite
the changes that have occurred to me over the last several days, I'm still
pretty much the same girl that you have known for the past sixteen years.

"Ever since your family adopted me, you have been my love.my only love. First
as a sister who loves her older brother (I'm one year older than Rachael),
then as a very good friend, and now that we're both adults, as a woman loves a
man. I may have the strength and power of Samson, but I'm still, and will
always be, your little Rachael, as you used to call me when we were children."

My mighty girlfriend paused for a moment, put her arm around me and gently
drew me closer to her. "So please understand honey, what I did today I had to
do. It's my duty now and I very well may have saved thousands of lives. But
this should in no way intimidate you. I may be an invincible warrior in battle
Simon, but you are the only person that can truly hurt me."

After Rachael finished speaking I put my arm around her and rested my head on
her shoulder. We sat like that in silence for several minutes until we heard
my mother holler out from the window, "Hey! Are you two lovebirds coming in
for dinner or what? Your food is getting cold and I'm not going to heat it up
again!"

My powerful girlfriend looked at me and giggled, "Well, I guess I'm not quite
as Invincible as I thought I was. It seems that mom can beat me every time."

A few days after Rachael and I had our heart-to-heart talk I was out in the
fields tending to our sheep. Once again Rachael had received a vision that a
crisis was brewing that desperately required her attention. Off in the
distance I heard the sound of thunder - strange though, there wasn't a single
cloud in the shy. By the time Rachael returned to help me guide our herd back
to their pen, she seemed quite frustrated. "Another invasion?" I asked.

"Not this time honey. This time I had to deal with a dispute over grazing and
water rights on the border between the tribes of Manasseh and Ephraim (both of
whom are parts of the original twelve tribes of Israel). Don't forget that
like Samson I'm also a judge. So I was called upon to settle the issue."

"Was it serious?"

"Serious? They were just about to go to war over it. By the time I arrived
both tribes had already mobilized several thousand soldiers on each side and
were only a few hundred feet from each other. Why do you men always
immediately resort to violence to resolve your disputes?" Then Rachael
softened up and smiled at me. "Well, I should have said 'most' of you men
honey."

"So how did you resolve the issue Rachael?"

"First I positioned myself in-between the two armies and ordered them to lay
down their arms so we can try to find a solution that didn't involve killing
one another."

"And did they do it?"

Rachael sighed. "Well not at first Simon. I had to convince them to do so."

"How?"

"I had to beat up several hundred soldiers from each side. Then I took the
commanders of each army, sat them down and ordered them to negotiate a
solution to their dispute. I warned them that I'd return soon to check on
their progress. And that when I did come back, they'd had better have worked
things out between them.OR ELSE! To emphasize that I meant business, I smacked
my right fist as hard as I could into my left palm."

"That must have been the sound that I thought was thunder about an hour ago."

"Probably Simon, it was pretty loud. It scared all the soldiers that were
still conscious." Rachael sighed. "Honestly honey, being a superwoman,
protector of our people and a judge can really get to a girl sometimes. Come,
let's start taking the sheep back. Maybe that will calm me down."

As we made our way back to our home, we were again confronted by a blinding
flash of light, and, lo and behold, the Angel of the Lord once again stood
before us. "Well Mr. Angel, how nice to see you again. Do you have any more
'offers' for me?" Rachael asked, making no effort to hide her sarcasm.

The Angel of the Lord approached us and smiled. "Rachael, I have come to tell
you that the leaders of the tribes of Manasseh and Ephraim have indeed worked
out a deal to share their grazing fields and water and you don't have to
return. I know it's very difficult for you now, given your frustrations, to
appreciate what you've accomplished in just one week (it had indeed been just
one week since the Angel first appeared before us). But let me remind you of
the amazing things that you've succeeded in doing in that brief period of
time."

"Excluding the lion, you've prevented an attack by the Philistines on your
people, stopped an invasion to conquer your land by the Greeks, and
'convinced' two Israelite tribes not to go to war with each other - and you
managed to accomplish all of this without taking even one single human life!
You've already save the lives of thousands. I can see now why the Lord chose
you. Because you intuitively know how to temper the tremendous power that you
possess with wisdom, compassion .and love. Yes, the Lord did indeed choose
wisely when he chose you. And now I'd like to reward you for what you've
done."

"Reward me? How?" Rachael asked.

"By giving you what you want most in life Rachael. What you've wanted ever
since you were six years old - although you couldn't possibly have known it at
the time. Simon, come here and stand beside Rachael."

I did what I was told, after all, one doesn't argue with an Angel of the Lord.
And after I had done so, he put his staff over us and proclaimed, "by the
power vested in me by Almighty God, I here-by proclaim that you, Rachael, and
you Simon are now officially wife and husband, and shall remain so for all
eternity." He put down his staff and smiled at us. "I wish you both the very
best of health and happiness throughout your long lives." There was another
blinding flash of light and the Angel was gone. I looked over at the beautiful
face of my magnificent new wife and she at me. Then, hand-in-hand, we led our
flock of sheep back to their pens, went into our bedroom and didn't emerge
until the following morning.

Epilogue

Over the course of the next several decades, protected by Rachael's strong,
capable and loving hands (and fists whenever she thought it was necessary), a
period of peace and prosperity was enjoyed by the Israelites in their land.
Neighboring tribes who tried to harm them quickly found out the hard way that
Rachael was invincible in battle - though she could also be compassionate and
forgiving to foes once they repented. Squabbling between the twelve tribes of
Israel almost ceased to exist as they came to realize just how wise and fair
Rachael's judgment was - and what the consequences of crossing her would be.
In the period before the Israelites had kings (Saul, David and Solomon) the
era of Racheal was one where peace, prosperity and security reigned supreme.

Scholars are not quite certain as to why the Book of Rachael was not included
in the final compilation of the Hebrew Bible (also known as the Old Testament)
as we know it today. One theory holds that by the time the Bible was being
compiled, sometime in the late fifth century B.C.E., hundreds of years had
passed and the Book of Rachael, along with many others no doubt, had simply
been forgotten. A more sinister theory suggests that the people who decided
which books to canonize (to include in the Bible) were all men and, therefore,
could not bring themselves to include a book about a powerful woman warrior
who, through her strength, wisdom and compassion brought peace and security to
the Hebrew tribes in that difficult time. It's not unlike what the Greeks did
when they wrote down the legend of their mighty warrior Hercules - when they
conveniently neglected to mention his encounter with Rachael near the city of
Acco.

Unfortunately, we'll probably never really know why the story of this
remarkable woman has been reduced to obscurity.