You Box Pretty Good...for a Boy
by M.C.
A university boxer decideds to humor a sexy girl he meets in the gym by sparring against her...and gets a rude surprise.


It was nearly midnight as I approached the university gymnasium to begin my
nightly workout. I love working out late at night as there are rarely any
other students around using the equipment and I can be alone with my thoughts.
But as I entered the gym tonight, I heard the distinct THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
sound of someone punching the heavy bag. "I wonder who that could be?" I said
to myself, "this place is almost always empty at this hour." I went into the
boxing area and couldn't believe my eyes. For there, pounding away at the
large punching bag, was a beautiful girl! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! - and I
couldn't help but be impressed, both by her looks as well as her style.

At this point I should probably introduce myself. My name is Richard Stevens
and I'm the heavyweight on my university's boxing team. I'm six feet two
inches tall and weigh a well porportioned 220 pounds. Since this girl didn't
seem to notice me when I entered, I watched her in silence for a little while
as she continued to pound away at the bag. She appeared to be around five feet
ten inches tall, very muscular and probably weighed around 160 pounds. She had
her long brown hair tied back into a single thick braid which reached almost
to her waist and by the way she was slamming her pink boxing gloves into the
bag, I could see that she was very athletic (as opposed to those girly girls
that sometimes come in here just to play around like Cindy and Nancy, two of
my ex-girlfriends).

"You box pretty good," I said after watching her for a few minutes.

"Good? You mean good F.A.G, don't you?" she replied without stopping, or even
looking at me.

"F.A.G.? What the hell does that mean?" I asked, somewhat taken aback by the
aggressive nature of her response.

"F.A.G. means 'For a girl'." (She still hadn't looked at me; it's as if she
knew I was standing there all along).

"Well yes, for a girl is what I meant. I mean...you are a girl, aren't you?"

"Very much so. But I found your attempt at flattery to be condesending."

"Condesending? In what way was complimenting you on your boxing skills
condesending?"

"By implying that my boxing skills are second rate because I'm a female. If I
were a man would you have said the same thing?"

"Well...no, I probably wouldn't have (I had to admit she got me on that one).
But that doesn't negate the fact that you are, in fact, a female - and a very
attractive one at that - and I am a male."

"Meaning what? That you're a better boxer than I am?"

"That's a ridicules question. Of course I'm a better boxer than you are." (Her
attitude was beginning to grate on me now).

"Oh yea? And what makes you think so?"

"Well for starters, as we've already established, I am a man and you are a
woman. I probably outweigh you by at least sixty pounds, I'm a lot stronger,
and (I added rather smugly) I'm also the heavyweight boxer on the university's
team. So to answer your question, yes, I do think I'm a better boxer than you
are."

For the first time since our conversation began she stopped punching the bag.
She turned around, put her hands (boxing gloves actually) on her hips and gave
me a sly smile."Then prove it big boy."

"Prove it? You want me to box against you?"

"That's what I said. Let's spar for a few minutes and see if you can back your
claim."

"You want me to fight you?" I repeated, still not sure I understood her
correctly.

"Have you taken too many blows to the head honey, or are you just deaf? You
made a claim that you're a better boxer than I am and I'm asking you to back
it up. So let's spar for say five minutes - mano al womano - and see if you'
re right. Unless you're afraid that I might kick your ass that is, and you'd
have to eat your words."

It was at this point that her cocky attitude became too much for me. Female or
no female, this girl needed to be taught a little respect; and besides, it
might be kind of fun to box against a sexy, athletic girl. And maybe - just
maybe - after I teach her a lesson, we could 'get together'...if you know what
I mean (smirk). "Very well then Miss," I said,"you're on." I put on my boxing
gloves and climbed into the ring.

"That's Ms to you," she replied as she joined me. As soon as we were both in
the boxing ring, she began to dance up and down on the balls of her feet, her
long braid swaying from side-to-side as she moved. "Whenever you're ready we
can start, tough guy."

"This girl must think that I'm just going to play around with her," I thought
to myself. "Why else would she be so complacent about this?" I put up my
gloves and began to approach her. "Very well Miss - or Ms.- but I'm warning
you, I take my boxing seriously. So if you think I'm going to take it easy on
you because you're a woman, think again."

"I'll bare that in mind." (Again that sly smile of hers).

THUD! THUD! THUD! In less than two seconds she hit me with three lightning
quick left jabs that I barely even saw. Though they weren't hard punches (she
is a girl after all), they did stun me and I was forced to take several steps
backwards."She caught me off guard," I muttered to myself. "I just wasn't
ready that's all...but I won't make that mistake again." A bit more cautiously
now I approached her, but...THUD! THUD! THUD! POW! Three more left jabs
followed by a solid right cross to the jaw and I was driven back again. "Oh
come on honeybunch," she teased as she danced away,"surely a big, strong man
like you can do better than this. After all, I'm just a girl you know; tee,
hee, hee."

Like her first punches the jabs didn't hurt much, but her right cross did. And
while I was trying to come to terms with the fact that I was actually in a
*real* fight against a female, she launched an attack. With a well coordinated
series of lefts and rights, the smaller woman drove me back up against the
ropes. I tried to protect myself as best as I could but some of her punches
still found their mark - the speed and accuracy of her punches amazed me.
Then, as quick as her attack began, she stopped, moved back to the center of
the ring and started bobbing up and down again. "Come on big boy, show me what
you've got!"

Angry at being outboxed by a girl (as well as her teasing), I charged forward;
throwing wild punches as I did. But to my surprise, she deftly blocked or
avoided nearly all of them. Occasionally I did manage to land a glancing blow
but it seemed to have little affect on her. She just shook it off. "Hmmm, you
box pretty good," she said after I caught her with a left jab to the side of
the face, then smiled and added, "for a boy that is."

"Just one solid punch," I said to myself. "Just let me land one solid punch
and I'll take her." I tried every boxing tactic I knew against this elusive
girl, but she moved too quickly for me to trap her. After about two minutes of
parlaying my blows, she suddenly struck back with another combination of fast,
well placed punches forcing me back again, this time into one of the
corners."I'm really glad you came in here tonight," she said as she wailed
away at me."I was getting tired of hitting the bag and this is a much better
workout - not to mention a lot more fun."

I was now reduced to just trying to protect myself from her onslaught as she
rained blow after blow upon me. Not only was she connecting much of the time,
but her punches had a surprising amount of power behind them. In fact I've
fought heavyweights who couldn't hit as hard as this girl could. How does she
do it? POW! She hit me with a solid right hook to the jaw which snapped my
head back. WHAM! Then she sank a left deep into my stomach and quickly
followed that with - CRACK! - a powerful right uppercut underneath my chin.
Dazed by the force of her punches, I fell back against the ropes and my arms
dropped to my sides. Had she have wanted to, this amazing girl could have
probably finished me off then and there. But she didn't. Instead, she backed
off a few steps and put her gloves on her hips.

"I'm very disappointed in you Richie; very disappointed. I was expecting a
much better workout than this from our heavyweight boxer. I'll tell you what,
why don't you give me your best shot into my abs. I won't even try to stop
it." With difficulty, I pulled myself away from the ropes and began to
approach her. And as I did, I noticed the smile never left her beautiful face.
She just stood there in front of me, challenging me...taunting me."Give it all
you've got Richie," she repeated."Let's see whose tougher - the big, strong
heavyweight boxer, or the 'little' girl."

I reared back and slammed my right fist into her muscular stomach with all my
strength (or all the strength I had left at this point). THUMP! Incredibly,
all my blow managed to do was force her back a few steps. "Is that the best
you can do Richie?. Why don't you give it another try, maybe you can do better
this time." WHACK! Again all I did was push her back a bit, and my hand
actually began to hurt! (I swear her ads felt like hitting a brick wall).
"Pathetic Richie, simply pathetic. You should be ashamed of yourself; a big,
strong guy like you. Now it's my turn."

THUD! She drove her right fist deep into the pit of my stomach with such force
that I keeled over. "Now that's a punch Richie. You should hit the weights
more often, your tummy is way to soft." Furious at way she was humiliating me,
I took a wild swing at her head, but she merely ducked under it and slammed
her fist into my gut again. "Why you naughty boy," she teased. "Here I give
you a chance and look what you do. I think you need to be punished for that"
She nailed me with another solid right to the jaw and quickly followed that
with several more lefts and rights to my mid-section, driving me back into the
corner again.

She continued to hammer me with well placed blows. They came at me so fast,
and from so many different directions, that I couldn't stop them all. "Oh
Richie, you make such a lovely punching bag; tee, hee, hee." After
relentlessly pounding me for a couple of minutes, I was completely beaten. I
was leaning back against the ropes in the corner, unable to move or even
defend myself. She must have hit my arms at least thirty times because I
couldn't even raise them up anymore. I was hers for the taking.

Mercifully, she stopped hitting me and stepped back to admire her
handiwork."Not a bad workout if I do say so myself." I then felt her strong
right hand grab me firmly by my sweatshirt, yank me away from the corner and
drag me out to the center of the ring (I was about as helpless as a rag doll
at this point). "But I'm afraid all good things must come to an end Richie."
She cocked back her fist, smiled and said,"sweet dreams honeybunch." I saw her
punch coming, then I felt it's impact on my face, and then the lights went
out.

When I came to, I found myself lying on my back in the center of the ring with
the woman who battered me sitting on my chest. She had removed her boxing
gloves, untied her braid and was calmly brushing her long, beautiful hair. She
looked down at me. "Welcome back to the world of the living Richie." It was
then that I heard the sounds of girls giggling coming from the side. With my
swollen eyes I looked over to see who they were and my heart sank. It was
Cindy and Nancy - my ex-girlfriends.

"Great show Jo," Cindy said as they both climbed into the ring.

"Yes," Nancy concurred,"you taught this pompous male chauvanist a lesson he'll
never forget and we enjoyed watching every minute of it." (It was only then
that I realized that I had been set up all along).

"No problem girls," the one they called Jo answered."I never get tired of
putting macho men in their place; beneath me, where they belong."

Nancy took out a digital camera from her pocket and started taking photos of
me, lying battered and beaten underneath my conquerer. "Allow me to introduce
you to our newest sorority member Richard," she said as she snapped away."Her
name is Joanne Simpson. She's a psychology major, a world class bodybuilder
and - as I believe you just found out - a champion kick boxer."

"And for her initiation to our sorority, we decided to use her martial arts
skills to settle a few scores that some of us girls had with guys who dumped
us...like you for example," Cindy added.( Then I remembered seeing Johnny
Bradford, the middle linebacker on our football team, walking through campus a
few days ago. He had a black eye and a badly swollen jaw. When I asked him
what happened, he said curtly,"I don't want to talk about it," and stalked
off. He had recently broken up with Susan, another girl in Cindy and Nancy's
sorority).

"Wha..what are you going to do with the pictures you're taking?" I asked,
knowing that if everyone saw me in this humiliating position it would totally
destroy my reputation.

"Whatever we want Richie," Nancy replied wth a smirk,"whatever we want. I
think they'll be fantastic for the background on our computer, don't you
Cindy?"

"An excellent idea; either that or a screen saver." Both girls laughed and
slapped each other five."Well Richie, as much as we'd like to stay and chat,
it's getting late and both Nancy and I have an early morning class. So we'll
leave you two alone now. We sure enjoyed the show though. Maybe Joanne should
replace you on the boxing team. After all, you only managed to win four of
your matches last year." Cindy and Nancy thanked their new sorority sister
again for 'cutting me down to size' and left the gym.

After they had gone, Joanne looked down at me with a surprisingly sympathetic
look on her face."Don't worry about me replacing you on the boxing team
Richard. Since I'm a professional kickboxer, I couldn't compete at the amateur
level of the university anyway. And don't worry about the photos either. I
made Cindy and Nancy promise not to show them to anyone. My goal was simply to
teach you a lesson about respect for women, not to destroy you." Joanne then
paused for a few moments as if she was searching for the right words to say,
then continued. "If you'd like Richard, I can train you how to be a much
better fighter. I can show you how to get into decent shape as well as teach
you some skills that will improve your ability before the boxing season
begins." Then she added with a giggle,"and as you can clearly see, you do have
plenty of room for improvment."

As I was lying on my back with this amazing woman who just battered me to a
pulp straddling my chest and brushing her hair, I had a sudden epiphany. All
my life I tried to be a tough guy, a macho man. That's what led me into boxing
in the first place. But now, after Joanne beat the crap out of me, I realized
that I wasn't the tough guy I thought I was; nor did I want to be (ironically,
it took a severe beating by a girl to get me to see that). I still wanted to
box though. I liked the sport and, as Joanne clearly proved to me, I did have
a lot of room for improvment (the girls were wrong, I actually won only three
of my matches last year - one guy had to forfeit because he was sick). So with
tears in my eyes, I looked up into Joanne's beautiful face and said,"yes, I
really would appreciate it if you could teach me how to become a better
fighter...like you."

"You mean you want me to teach you to fight L.A.G.?"

"L..A.G.?"

"Like a girl."

"Yes," I said humbly, then added, "providing that girl fights like you."
Simultaneously we both broke out in laughter. Joanne reached down and
playfully pinched my swollen cheek, then rose to her feet and held out her
hand to me. I took it and she yanked me (and I do mean YANKED) to my feet.
"Very well then Richard, consider tonight to be your first lesson...NEVER
underestimate your opponent; she may have a surprise in store for you." Joanne
helped me out of the ring and together we headed for the exit. Somewhere along
the way I felt a strong female hand grip mine and squeeze. Without even
realizing it, we walked straight to her apartment and entered. Then went
straight into her bedroom...and didn't emerge until the following afternoon.

Epilogue

I'll say one thing about Joanne, she really understands the meaning of the
phrase 'tough love'. Training with her must be like being in a Marine Corps
drill camp; I've never been pushed so hard in my life. But boy, it sure did
pay off. In a couple of months she worked me into the best shape of my life. I
went from being a mediocre boxer to a pretty darn good one. My record improved
dramatically - from a dismal 4 - 12 last year to 13 - 3 this one. I never did
manage to beat Joanne in our bi-weekly sparing sessions though. Which was a
shame because she said that only if I did beat her would she allow me be on
top. Oh well, I guess you can't have everything.