Mary the Meter Maid
By M.C.
A pretty meter maid has to teach an arrogant bully a lesson


Mary Wilson smiled as she mounted her scooter. It was the pretty 20 year-old
university sophomore's first day on her new summer job as a meter maid. As she
rode around town with her long, pretty dark hair flowing in the breeze behind
her, she thought to herself, "I can see that this is going to be a really fun
job for the summer." The first two hours of her shift were pretty routine -
she issued just two citations, one for double parking and the other for an
expired meter. Then, sometime near noon, Mary spied a bright red Ferrari
parked right in front of fire hydrant next to a liquor store. "Another
citation on the way," she said to herself.

But just as she began to write out the ticket, a very large and powerfully
built man came out of the liquor store and, seeing what Mary was doing,
angrily confronted her.

"Just what in the hell do you think you're doing girlie?" he barked out.

"I writing you a ticket for parking your car in front of a fire hydrant sir,"
Mary replied as politely and diplomatically as she could. "According to the
law you must be parked at least 15 feet on either side of the hydrant so as
not to impede a firetruck should the need arise. And, as you can clearly see,
you had ample space to park legally on either side of the hydrant. So I'm
issuing you a citation. If you have any complaints about it sir, you can
always take it up in traffic court."

Rather than assuage his anger, Mary's explanation only made him more so. "Do
you have any idea who I am you little squirt?" he growled down at the much
smaller girl.

"No, not really sir. Should I?" Despite the fact that he was at least ten
inches taller than she was (Mary guessed that he was about six foot four to
her five foot six) and must of outweighed her by well over 100 pounds (Mary
was a very fit 130 pounds but he must have weighed in at least 250, and a very
muscular 250 at that), the pretty meter maid didn't show even the slightest
trace of fear.

"Well then you little pipsqueak, let me introduce myself. I'm Robert Johnson,
the heavyweight boxing champion of the world - the 'undefeated' heavyweight
boxing champion of the world I might add. Now have you heard of me?"

Mary stopped writing the citation and looked up at the towering man
confronting her. "Yes," she said after a long pause, "as a matter of fact I
have heard of you Mr. Johnson. You're a big bully who likes to slap your
girlfriends around. I've read about how nasty you are to them."

Mary closed her citation book and placed it on the seat of her scooter. Then
she tied her long, pretty dark hair back Into a ponytail. "Well Mr. undefeated
heavyweight boxing champion of the world, I think you and I need to have a
little 'talk'. Would you be so kind as to follow me please?"

Mary led the large, tough man into the dark alley next to the liquor store and
they disappeared Into the shadows. For about a minute there was absolutely no
sound coming from inside.and then suddenly, WHAM! POW! SMACK! And as hard as
it was to believe, Mary and the undefeated heavyweight boxing champion of the
world seemed to be fighting it out in the dark alley. But what chance could
the pretty meter maid possibly have against such a big, strong, rough, tough
man one-on-one in a fist fight? PUNCH! POW! THUD! But incredibly, if you
listened carefully amid the sounds of all the fighting, you could make out
another sound - the sound of a girl.giggling!

POW! CRACK! THUMP! Hee, hee, hee. PUNCH! PUNCH! PUNCH! Hee, hee, hee. SOCK!
SMACK!

WHAM! Hee, hee, hee. This continued for several minutes before CRACK!...and
then all was quiet again. About a minute later a form could be seen emerging
from the shadows of the ally.

It was Mary. She had a wide smile on her pretty face and didn't appear to have
so much as a single mark or scratch on her. As she came out into the sunlight,
you could see she was dragging a rather badly beaten Robert Johnson - the
undefeated heavyweight boxing champion of the world - behind her!

Seemingly without effort, the pretty 20 year-old girl dragged the battered man
over to where her scooter was parked. She then bent over, put one of her hands
underneath each of his armpits, and lifted his 250 pounds up and propped him
up against the back of her scooter. "There," she said calmly as she untied her
ponytail and fluffed up her pretty hair. "Now let's see what we can do about
that face of yours. It looks like somebody put you through a meat grinder Mr.
Champ; tee, hee, hee."

Mary reached down and took out a first-aid kit from underneath the seat of her
scooter. She opened It and began to tend to his wounds - wounds that she
herself had given him just two minutes before! And as she did so, the pretty
meter maid also gave him a stern lecture. "The reason I beat you up so badly
today Mr. Johnson is because you're an arrogant bully who likes to beat up on
people, especially females. I suppose that sooner or later I would have had to
teach you a lesson anyway. How fortuitous for you that we happened to meet
here today so I could beat you up in private without anyone else watching.

"Now I don't care what you tell people about how you got those black eyes,
swollen lips and jaw plus the other welts and bruises I gave you. You can tell
everybody you were jumped by a squad of Navy Seals and fought them all off for
all I care. But I'm warning you, if I ever hear that you've mistreated a woman
again, then the next beating I give you will be in public for all to see; do
you understand?" When the battered man didn't respond immediately, Mary asked
him again, in a much sterner tone of voice this time. "I asked you a question
Mr. Champ. Do you understand what I just said to you?"

Fighting to hold back his tears, the proud, feared undefeated heavyweight
boxing champion of the world could only mutter a meek, "yes."

"Good. I've stopped the bleeding of your nose and lips. I suggest you go home
now and put some ice packs on your jaw to help keep the swelling down. Here,
let me help you to your car."

Mary put one of her surprisingly strong arms around the battered champ's waist
and all but carried him over to his Ferrari, opened the door and helped him
inside. "Oh, and I decided not to write you a ticket today after all Mr.
Champ. I'm going to let you go with just a warning. But from now on I expect
you to obey the law around here. Is that clear?"

After the battered and stunned man nodded, Mary smiled and added, "and one
more thing Mr. undefeated heavyweight boxing champion of the world - you
really should learn how to defend yourself better. Using your face to block my
punches really wasn't such a good strategy, was it?"

Then she giggled and added, "If you'd like, maybe I can give you a few boxing
lessons sometime; tee, hee, hee."

With that, the pretty meter maid walked back to her scooter and got on the
seat. She turned the key but before departing grinned at the champ and said,
"have a nice rest of your day Mr. Johnson." And then she was off, smiling with
her long, beautiful dark hair flowing in the breeze behind her. "Yes, it's
going to be a great summer job indeed."