Greta, the Mighty Queen of the Jungle
By M.C.
A day in my life with Greta, the mighty Amazon Jungle Queen


As I sat behind my large, amazingly powerful girlfriend, brushing her long
beautiful blond hair this morning I reflected on how my life had been
irrevocably changed since my plane crashed on this isolated, remote South
Pacific Island a year ago. In the comfort of our cave - which I now called
'home' - I thought about the unusual sequence of events that led me from being
a successful real estate agent in Los Angeles to living on this isolated
island with this incredible superwoman. About how my twin engine Cessna plane
developed engine trouble over the ocean and crashed near this uncharted island
on my ill-fated attempt to fly solo around the world. About how I, literally
only seconds away from certain death by drowning, was rescued by this strong
amazon of a woman who literally ripped the cockpit off of my plane as it sank,
yanked me out of my seat and then swam me to safety. About how she
effortlessly carried my 200 plus pound body in her powerful arms for what
seemed like miles before gently lowering me onto the bed in her cave.

"What's your name?" I heard her ask me through the haze of semi-consciousness.

"Jeffery. Jeffery Simmons."

The last thing I heard her say that day before I succumbed to exhaustion was,
"Well Jeffie, I'm Greta, and welcome to your new home."

Greta doesn't have a last name; or, if she does, she doesn't remember it. Nor
does she know exactly where she came from or how she acquired her tremendous
physical strength (she does have a theory however which I'll get to later).
She has no memories of her father who died when she was an infant. Her
earliest childhood memories are of growing up with her mother, an
anthropologist who came to study the lifestyles of the isolated, indigenous
tribes that inhabited this remote island. "I came from somewhere in the United
States when I was a very small child, but I don't know where", was all she
could tell me. "And after my mother passed away from cancer, the last link to
my past was severed. After my mother's passing I was adopted by the tribe she
was studying and raised as one of their own."

Because of her great strength, Greta became the protector of the tribe;
defending them against the ferocious prehistoric beasts that inhabited the
island and would occasionally threaten them. "They are my people now," she
explained, "and it's my duty to protect them whenever danger arises; just like
I protected you a few days ago." Greta was referring to a walk we were taking
in the jungle when we were suddenly confronted be two large and fierce
saber-toothed tigers. Immediately, my super strong girlfriend sprang into
action. She wrapped one of her powerful arms around each of their necks and -
as I watched in complete awe - strangled them both. "There," she calmly said
as she lowered their lifeless bodies to the jungle floor," they won't be
bothering you anymore sweetie pie. Now let's take one of them home for
dinner." (I have to admit, a saber-tooth tiger steak tasted rather good,
provided it's been properly marinated of course).

Just as I finished brushing Greta's long, beautiful hair, we heard a commotion
outside of our cave. Some of the members of her village were approaching and
they appeared to be in a state of horror. Although I could only understand a
little bit their language, they kept repeating the word for 'monster' over and
over again. After they finished describing their ordeal, Greta turned to me
and said, "Honey, it seems that a very large and ferocious creature attacked
their village this morning. He destroyed several of their huts and made off
with some of their livestock. And as the protector of the village, it looks
like I'm going to have to go and investigate what happened. Would you like to
come along?"

"Of course Greta. You know how much I love to watch you 'in action'."

Greta smiled. "Very well then Jeffie, let's go."

Greta and I walked through the jungle until we arrived at the village. There
we could clearly see the devastation that this creature had caused. Several of
the huts on the outlining area of the village were completely destroyed
(fortunately, the inhabitants had time to escape their homes before the
monster struck), and the gate that protected their cattle had been smashed.
The creature, whatever it was, then made off with one of their cows and
disappeared into the jungle. The people of the tribe were now deathly afraid
that he would return as soon as he was hungry again. "Well honey," Greta
calmly said, "it looks like I have a bit of work to do today."

Because of his immense size, the creature had left behind a trail of broken
tree branches and large (immense actually) footprints on the ground, making it
easy for Greta to track him down. His trail led us through the dense jungle
until we came to a wide clearing where his footprints entered a large cave. My
powerful girlfriend then turned to me and the other villagers that had
followed us and said in a strong, confident tone of voice, "I want all of you
to wait here where you'll be safe while I go inside and confront this beast."
When Greta saw the look of dread I had on my face she smiled and, in a soft
and loving tone this time, said, "Don't worry sweetie pie, I'll be all right.
This shouldn't take too long." She then playfully tweaked my nose, turned
around and, without showing even the slightest trace of fear, entered the cave
and disappeared into the darkness.

A long minute of silence followed as the villagers and I nervously waited
outside the entrance of the cave.and then we heard a loud "WHAM!" This was
followed by a terrifying roar and then "POW! SMASH! WHAM! CRUNCH!" More
terrifying roars followed mixed in with the sounds of fighting. Dust now began
to fly out of the cave entrance, a testament no doubt to the terrific struggle
that must have been taking place inside. After a couple of minutes, the once
dreadful roars turned into loud shrieks as the fighting sounds continued.
"WHAM! POW! WHACK! SLAM!" and more shrieks. Finally, there was one last,
pathetic shriek followed by loud "CRACK!". and then all became quiet again.

The villagers and I all stared at the dark entrance to the cave for any sign
of who had prevailed. Then we heard the distinct sound of Greta's
voice.humming! And as my incredible girlfriend emerged from the darkness of
the cave and into the sunlight, I couldn't see so much as a single mark or
scratch on her magnificent body - in fact her hair wasn't even mussed! Greta
appeared to be dragging a large tail over her right shoulder. And as she
approached us, the villagers and I all gasped in unison. For this amazing
woman was dragging out the badly battered and broken body of a fully grown
Tyrannosaurs Rex! Yes, you read that correctly. Greta was dragging out the
body of a fully grown, twenty foot long, eight ton Tyrannosaurs Rex - one of
the most - if not THE most - ferocious creatures ever to have walked the
earth!

Greta stopped a few feet away from us and dropped the dead dinosaur's tail to
the ground. Staring at his lifeless form, one couldn't help but notice the
fifty or so perforations (roughly the size of Greta's fist) that he had all
over his massive body. His neck and head were lying at a right angle from the
rest of his body, indicating to me that his neck had been broken. My
incredible girlfriend placed her right foot on top of his tail and fluffed up
her beautiful hair. Then she put her hands on her hips and said to the stunned
villagers, "You can all go back to your homes now; you have nothing more to
fear. This big bully won't be bothering you anymore - I've 'taken care' of
him." And as the grateful villagers began to disperse, Greta smiled at me and
flexed her awesome, 18-inch muscles (she knows how much that turns me on).
"You see Jeff, I told you there was nothing to worry about. I'm a big girl, I
can take care of myself."

Completely overcome with awe, I ran up to her and gave this amazing girlfriend
of mine a long, loving hug. "Oh honey," I exclaimed, "you're magnificent;
totally awesome! You just killed the fiercest dinosaur with nothing more than
your bare hands. And your hair isn't even mussed! It's just as soft and fluffy
as it was when I brushed it this morning." I felt myself being lifted off the
ground and gently cradled in Greta's powerful arms. "That's O.K. sweetie pie,"
she said, "you can brush it anyway when we get back to the cave. I know how
much you like doing it." (Greta's certainly right about that. I love brushing
her long, beautiful blond hair. It never ceases to amaze be how she can be so
strong and tough, and yet so feminine, all at the same time). Still cradling
me in her powerful arms, Greta began to walk through the jungle and back to
our cave.

Several Hours Later.

Greta and I lay on our bed. After several hours of passionate love-making I
was totally exhausted. As I ran my fingers through her hair, I asked Greta
(for the umpteenth time) how she got to be so incredibly strong. How can she
kill the fiercest of beasts with her bare hands without getting so much as a
single scratch on her? "Like I've told you many times before Jeffie, I really
don't know how I came to be this strong. However, I do have a theory which
might explain what enabled me to become as powerful as I am. It was something
that happened many years ago, when I was just a girl around twelve years old.

"While my mom was studying the local tribe one day (remember, Greta's mother
was an anthropologist), I snuck away to take a walk in the jungle by myself.
My mom never allowed me to go anywhere alone because, as you can see, there
are a lot of dangerous beasts living on this prehistoric island - it's as if
time had completely forgotten about this place. Anyway, being a kid, I snuck
off nevertheless and came upon a small patch of sweet-smelling purple flowers,
a type of which I had never seen before. I tasted one and it was so sweet that
I ate some more. And every day after that I would return to the same spot to
eat some more until I had eaten up the entire patch. Funny thing though, they
never grew back.

"Shortly after I had eaten all of the flowers, I began to notice some rather
unusual changes occurring within my body. I started to grow larger and began
to feel stronger.much stronger. How much stronger I was becoming I didn't
discover until a few months later. My mom was walking back from the village
through the jungle one day while I was doing my chores, cleaning up our cave.
Suddenly I heard a loud roar and my mother scream. I rushed out of the cave
and ran to where the sounds were coming from. I couldn't believe how fast I
was running and easily jumped over a dead tree that was lying on the jungle
floor that must have been at least twenty feet long! When I got to where my
mother was I saw that she was cornered by a huge saber-toothed tiger that was
about to pounce on her.

"I quickly ran up behind him and grabbed him by his tail. 'You mean ole
tiger,' I remember myself saying, 'I'll teach you not to threaten my mommy' -
don't forget Jeff, I was only about thirteen years old at the time. Holding
him by the tail, I lifted him up - he must have weighed at least 300 pounds -
and slammed him hard on the ground on one side, and then slammed him back
again on the other side. I must have slammed him back and forth at least
twenty times before I heard my mother say, 'It's O.K. honey. You can stop now;
I think he's dead'." Greta pointed over to the middle of our cave and giggled,
"I have to admit though Jeff, he does make a nice, comfy rug, doesn't he? Tee,
hee."

"Later I took my mom to the spot where the flowers were; but, as I said
before, they never grew back. As I continued to grow through my teenage years,
I got bigger and stronger. By the time I was eighteen, and reached my full
height, I stood six-feet four inches tall and weighed around 250 pounds. And
then there are these (my amazing girlfriend then flexed her incredible 18 inch
biceps for me again - an act which she knows always arouses me). It's a good
thing you get turned on by strong women Jeffie, or else you'd be out of luck
(smirk). Anyway, after my mother developed cancer and died, the tribe adopted
me as one of their own and I became their protector, using my strength to
defend them whenever the need arises; as you saw me do did earlier today. They
call me the 'Umbalaga' which, loosely translated from their language, means '
The Queen of the Jungle'."

''You surely are that Greta; and then some. But I do regret that you had to
kill that Tyrannosaurs Rex. He was probably one of the very last of his kind
in existence. Most people consider dinosaurs to be extinct."

My mighty girlfriend sighed. "I know honey, but sometimes being the 'Queen of
the Jungle' forces me to make some rather difficult decisions. I mean think
about it. I couldn't have just sat him down and given him a stern lecture on
how I expect him to behave now, could I? (I had to agree with her on that
point). And suppose I had let him off with just a severe beating. Then, in all
probability, he would have gone somewhere else and harassed, or killed, the
people there. No honey, in this case I handled it in the only way I could
have. I'm sorry to have to remind you of this phrase sweetie pie, but here,
where we live, it's 'survival of the fittest'; and in my jungle, I'm
definitely the fittest (to make her point, Greta flexed her awesome muscles
again).

"I guess since you put it that way Greta, I'd have to agree with you. I'm just
sorry I couldn't have watched. You know how much I love to see you in action."

My super girlfriend then changed her composure and began to giggle. She
reached over and playfully tweaked my nose again. "I'll tell you what
honeybunch, the next time I have to fight a dinosaur, I'll make sure to drag
him out of his cave first so you can watch me beat him up. Tee, hee, hee."
(Again I was amazed at how this incredibly strong and tough woman can also be
so soft and feminine at the same time - giggling like a little girl while
talking about beating up fierce dinosaurs).

We cuddled for a little while after that before I finally asked Greta a
question that I had been wanting to ask her for quite a while now. "Wouldn't
you like to go back to the United States sometime Greta? I mean with your
awesome strength and incredible abilities you'd be absolutely amazing there."

Once again my mighty girlfriend sighed. "That thought had indeed occurred to
me many times since you arrived here Jeffery (she rarely calls me that). But
after giving it a lot of thought, I don't think it would be a very good idea.
I mean just think about it for a little while honey. In your world what would
I be? A freak of nature? Or worse, something to be feared? Say for example I
were to compete in the Olympic games. I could easily win well over a hundred
gold medals and shatter every world record in the process - and I'm talking
about the men's division. I can out run, out jump, out lift, out throw, out
swim, and out fight any man that ever lived. I can beat up the heavyweight
boxing champion of the world with one hand while brushing my hair with the
other. How would your male dominated, chauvinistic society deal with that?

"And what about football Jeff, the sport you used to play in college? I could
singlehandedly wipe out the Superbowl champions. I mean after all, who could
stop me? It would be like trying to stop a tank." Greta then lightened up a
bit and playfully pinched my cheek. "But I would need you to hike the ball to
me when I'm on offence; then you just can stand aside and leave the rest to
me."

"Yes, but what about on defense Greta?"

"Hmmm.well I guess I would probably have to concede a few touchdowns to them;
I mean even I can't be everywhere at once. But I think I'd more than make up
for it on offence. So, what do you say Jeffie? Would you like to play a little
bit of football again? Just think about how romantic that would be honey - me
and you against the Superbowl champs. We'd crush them; tee, hee, hee."

"You know Greta, I think I'm beginning to see your point."

"But seriously Jeff, I really believe that my place is here; to protect and
defend the people of my village like I did earlier today. And from what I know
of the 'outside' world, I really don't think they're ready for a woman like me
yet; perhaps they'll never be. Most of the men of your world wouldn't be able
to handle being around a woman with twenty times the strength of even the
strongest of them. And I wouldn't like the feeling of being constantly either
feared or intimidating as I know I would be. You males have such fragile
egos." Greta paused, smiled at me and added, "well, most of you men anyway."
She then reached over to the side of the bed, grabbed her hairbrush and handed
it to me. "It's time to do one of your favorite chore honeybunch. Even though
I didn't get my hair mussed beating up that mean ole T-Rex, that's still no
excuse for you not to brush it."

And so my day ended just as it began, brushing my amazing girlfriend's long,
beautiful blond hair. And as I did so I wondered to myself.does life get any
better than this?