From the Diary of the New Queen of Boxing
By M.C.
A beautiful twenty year-old girl describes what it was like to fight the undefeated heavyweight boxing champion of the world for his title and what transpired after she crushed him.


May 14th, 6:30 P.M.

Hello diary,

Well tonight is THE night; the night I take on the undefeated heavyweight
boxing champion of the world and try to win his title. The boxing arena is
already nearly jam-packed and, in addition to the fifteen thousand spectators
that are expected to be here to witness the fight in person, they say that
there are at least several hundred million others will be watching it on
pay-for-view. That's why I went to the beauty parlor earlier today to get my
hair done. I believe that a girl should always look her best - even when she's
fighting for the heavyweight boxing championship. And I have to admit, my
beautician did a wonderful job on my hair. It's in "fighting shape" as she
said (giggles).

And it's about time that the champ has finally agreed to face me in the boxing
ring. I mean he's been stalling for two years now; ever since I first
challenged him after I graduated from high school. And it's only after I beat
all of the top contenders that he was finally forced to accept my challenge.
Not that I minded beating them up, it was fun. But boy (or should I say girl?)
what a chauvinist he is! Well, he's run out of excuses now. So in a few
minutes he and I will meet in the ring and settle this thing; mano al womano
as I like to say. Well, my eighteen year-old sister Cathy, who acts as my
manager, sparring partner and cornerman (or corner girl), wants to lace up my
boxing gloves now so I'll have to stop writing. I'll continue after the fight
is over and describe what happened. Bye for now. Love and kisses,

Diane

May 14th, 9:00 P.M.

Hello again diary,

Well guess what? I won! And it wasn't even that difficult either. I was
actually quite surprised (and a bit disappointed to tell the truth) that he
couldn't put up more of a fight. I mean he stood six feet-four inches tall and
weighed a muscular 260 pounds to my five foot-six inches and 130 pounds. You
should have seen the way he towered over me as the announcer was introducing
us. But what was especially cute was the way he was glaring down at me as the
referee was giving us the pre-fight instructions. Men always do that before I
fight them. It must be some sort of macho guy thing. I guess they think that
I'd be intimidated by it. But to the contrary, I think it's actually kind of a
silly. And I always respond by flashing them my prettiest smile and fluffing
up my hair. That never fails to get them riled up (I can be such a tease
sometimes).

For the record, I knocked him out at two minutes and forty-five seconds of the
fifth round. I could have knocked him out earlier, like in the third or fourth
round had I really wanted to. But I thought I'd give the crowd their money's
worth and get in a decent workout at the same time. As usual, Cathy had almost
nothing to do in my corner in-between rounds except put out a stool for me to
sit on and give me a drink of cool water. So even though it was hardly mussed,
I had her brush my hair so that she'd feel useful. That also infuriates my
male opponents. But I suppose that's their problem; isn't it?

Because I was having such a good time, I would have liked to have played
around with him for a few more rounds before finishing him off. But the big
chauvinistic brute called me a bitch at the end of the fourth round so I
decided to teach him a lesson in manners and end the fight in the fifth. And
as I proceeded to pound him all around the ring with my lightning fast
punches, I also lectured him on the proper way to talk to women. And although
I still think he deserved it, I might have gone a little bit overboard with
the beating I gave him before I knocked him out. Barely conscious, he had to
be carried out of the ring on a stretcher. And while they were doing so, I
couldn't resist the urge to rub it in (quite literally) that he'd been beaten
up by a girl. I walked over to him as he was being carried out and fluffed my
pretty blond hair in his face while teasing him. "How does it feel to be
beaten up by a girl half your size Mr. Tough Guy? Not bad for a twenty
year-old college girl, eh big boy? Tee, hee, hee."

I guess that after the severe pounding I had just given him my teasing was too
much for the dethroned ex-champ to take and he started to cry. Poor dear. As I
write this down now, I feel kind of sorry about doing that. But I was still
angry at him at the time for calling me a bitch. I mean I was beating him fair
and square. Was it my fault that I was twice as fast as he was? Hell, I must
have hit him at least two hundred times with my punches - and he never managed
to land even one single punch! He was so slow that I either blocked or avoided
every single punch he threw. I've had tougher workouts with Cathy when we spar
- and she's only eighteen years old! Hmmm, maybe I should arrange a match
between the two of them. I'll bet my sister would win (giggles).

Still, I do feel kind of bad about fluffing my pretty blond hair in his face.
That was rather unprofessional of me. After all, I am the heavyweight boxing
champion now and I suppose I should conduct myself with a bit more dignity;
right? Maybe I'll drop by the hospital later tonight and find out how he's
doing and apologize for humiliating him. We'll see. But for now, I'm taking my
parents and Cathy out for a wonderful steak dinner to celebrate my victory.
Just think about it: me, a twenty year-old female university gymnast, is now
the heavyweight boxing champion of the world. AWESOME! I'll write more when
time permits.

Bye for now.

May 16th, 11:00 A.M.

Hello again. It's the new heavyweight boxing champion of the world - a twenty
year-old girl! I still can't quite wrap my mind around that. But I suppose
that I will in time. Anyway, here's what's been happening since I beat up the
previous champ two days ago and took his title. I had the championship belt
altered so that it would fit around my waist. I guess nobody ever anticipated
that someday the heavyweight boxing champ would be a 130 pound girl. An
oversight I guess; tee, hee. I also committed myself to defending my title
against anyone who dares to step into the ring against me. I said that I'd
even take on several opponents on the same night - one after another. But the
world boxing association said that they couldn't allow that. I guess they want
to make more money with more fight nights. That's too bad though. It would
have been fun to beat up several big, strong, rough, tough macho men at once.
Oh well, I guess one at a time will just have to do.

As I mentioned in my last posting, after I took my parents and sister out to a
wonderful steak dinner to celebrate my victory, I did indeed pay a visit to my
battered opponent whom I had first beaten and then humiliated during our
fight. For some reason he wasn't exactly thrilled to see me when I entered his
hospital room. Hmmm, I wonder why (smirk). I did apologize for fluffing my
pretty hair in his face as they were carrying him out of the ring, but I also
explained to him why I did it. He called me a bitch, remember? And that really
pissed me off. After all, we girls have our pride too you know. While I was in
the process of explaining this to him he began to cry which made me feel very
awkward. So, not knowing exactly what to do, I reached out, grabbed his hand
and gently squeezed it. And as I did so, something very strange and totally
unexpected happened.

As I was drying out his eyes with a tissue, he looked at me and said, "No
Diane, you were right to batter and humiliate me the way you did. I deserved
it (I was shocked when I heard him say this). I'm an arrogant, conceited
bully; and have always been so. But after the beating and humiliation you put
me through earlier, I began to realize that it was all just a bluff; a way for
me to cope with my inferiority complex. Ironically, it took the comprehensive
beating and humiliation you put me through tonight to make me finally realize
this. You're a fantastic girl Diane, and an amazing boxer. I didn't even
manage to hit you once while you were using me for a punching bag (that was a
really good way to describe it)." There was a long pause after he said that as
if we were both searching for something to say. Finally, he broke the silence
and said, "Thank you for putting me in my place and teaching me humility
Diane. I'll be forever in your debt."

WOW! This caught me completely off guard. I mean just think about it. A few
short hours ago I had beaten this large, strong, tough, proud macho man to a
pulp and then fluffed my long, pretty blond hair in his face to further
humiliate him. And now, as he lay crying in the hospital bed where I sent him,
he was thanking me for doing it? So totally flabbergasted by this was I that I
didn't know what to say. Fortunately, I didn't have to think about it too long
about it because, after another pause, my battered opponent said, "When I get
out of the hospital, I'd be honored if you would let me take to take you out
to dinner; if you want to go out with me that is."

Seeing this strong, tough and proud man that only a few hours earlier I had
battered into total submission got me to thinking. Maybe beating him up and
humiliating him might not have been such a bad thing after all. Perhaps he did
learn something from it. And maybe he'll be a better person because of it. Who
knows? Because I'm such an incredible athlete no guy wants to date me. I guess
they're all too intimidated to even ask me out. Maybe they think I'll beat
them up or something - which I've only had to do twice in my life (but they
both deserved it and became better people because of it). So, maybe I should
take him up on his offer. I'm always up for a good steak dinner; and who knows
where this might lead. We'll just have to wait and see. Anyway, bye for now.

May 17th, 6:00 P.M.

Hello again diary. Ronald, the previous heavyweight boxing champion of the
world that I had battered and then humiliated three days ago, was released
from the hospital this morning. I met him there and drove him to his awesome
mansion in Beverly Hills (I guess there are certain advantages to being the
heavyweight champ; I'm still rather new at this). The two black eyes that I
had given him looked much better today than they did yesterday and the
swelling in his jaw had almost completely subsided. As he was wearing a shirt,
I couldn't see what the other dozen or so welts and bruises that I had given
him over various other parts of his body looked like. I helped him inside, sat
him down on a nice, comfy sofa and we proceeded to have a rather lengthy
heart-to-heart discussion.

I convinced Ronald that it would be better if he retired from boxing as we
both knew that I'd slaughter him in the ring again if we had a rematch.
Furthermore, I was able to convince him to become my manager, sparring partner
and cornerman. As I mentioned earlier, up until now that had been my sister
Cathy's job. But as she was about to begin studying at the university (UCLA
where I also attend), I thought Ronald would be perfect as a replacement for
her. He was a bit reluctant to accept my offer at first, but after I promised
not to rough him up too much during our sparring sessions he agreed. And
finally, I reminded him about his offer to take me out to dinner. So, as he'll
be picking me up in about thirty minutes, I should probably start to get
ready. Tata for now.

May 18th, 11:00 P.M.

Hello diary. Just a brief few notes to tell you about this evening. Ronny (as
he's kind of like my boyfriend now I can call him that) and I had a lovely
dinner tonight. He's not the tough, arrogant, macho guy that the world thinks
he is; at least with me he's not. Gee, do you think the beating I gave him a
few days ago might have had anything to do with that (wink)? He's now lying
naked on his back in his huge bed waiting for me to mount him. I told him I'd
always be on top unless he can outbox me; which, unfortunately for him, is not
very likely. So diary, I'll have to sign off now. Nighty-nite.

June 5th, 9:00 P.M.

Hello again diary. Sorry I haven't been writing so often recently, but I've
had a very hectic three weeks since I became the heavyweight boxing champion
of the world. Where should I start? Well, I've moved into Ronny's mansion in
Beverly Hills as he's now officially my boyfriend as well as my manager and
sparring partner. It's really a beautiful place to live and I've already
started altering it to my liking (guys seem to have no sense of interior
decorating it seems). At first Ronny wasn't so pleased with my ideas for 'our'
home; but, after we had a few sparring sessions, I was able to convince him
otherwise. Yes, I did promise him that I wouldn't rough him up too much when
we sparred, but that didn't mean 'not at all', if you catch my drift (wink).

Then yesterday I had my first title defense. He was pathetic. I could have
knocked him out in the very first round if I had really wanted to. But the
crowd would have been disappointed at paying a lot of money for such a short
fight. So I toyed around with him for the first three rounds before knocking
him out in the fourth. I hope my future opponents give me more of a challenge.
Ronny was in my corner but, out of respect for his masculine pride, I didn't
make him brush my hair in-between rounds like Cathy did. See, I'm not such a
naughty girl after all (wink).

And then there are all the press conferences, talk show appearances and
newspaper Interviews. Oh yes, and in the middle of all of this, I had four
final exams at school! (I aced them all). Ironically, boxing is probably the
least hectic thing that I have to do. I just climb into the ring, beat up some
outclassed and hapless guy and I'm done. I never realized that being the
heavyweight boxing champion of the world could be so complicated. I guess it
just comes with the territory.

Oh, and one more thing. Remember when I joked at the end of my diary entry on
May 14th that my sister Cathy could beat Ronny in a fight? Well, two days ago
Cathy came over and I arranged a little sparring match between her and Ronny.
And guess what? Cathy kicked his ass! My little sister knocked out the
previous undefeated heavyweight boxing champion of the world in the third
round! I guess I'd better be on my guard, because someday Cathy may challenge
me for my title. Ronny took it very well though (I guess he really has
changed). After he came to he said that he didn't mind being only the third
best boxer in our family. That was sweet of him; it really was. But Cathy and
I grinned at each other when he said that because neither one of us wanted to
tell him the truth - that if he ever went up against our mother in a boxing
ring she'd mop the floor with him too. As that old saying goes, "The apple
doesn't fall far from the tree". But I suppose there are some things that are
better left unsaid. Bye for now,

Diane