Biceps in a Bottle
by Marknew and Steve the Z



"Oof!" Marty said as he pushed against the refrigerator. "This thing's so
heavy!"

"I know it is, dear," Mary said. "But it's simply been ages since I cleaned
under it!"

Marty braced his shoulder against the big appliance and pushed against the
tiles with his feet. The fridge moved about an inch, then stopped.

Wiping his perspiring brow, Marty glared at the Kelvinator. "Damn thing must
weigh at least a ton!"

"Honey, I know you're trying as hard as you can. Maybe we'll have to call in
Jerry the handyman."

"That oaf? He'll charge us a couple hundred dollars just to move this thing
around the room," Marty said, even more annoyed that Mary thought Jerry would
be able to do it, when he couldn't.

"Maybe you could try some of this?" Mary said, handing him a pink-hued,
plastic bottle. "I bought it at the supermarket today. It's brand new!"

He took the bottle reluctantly and read the front label. "'Biceps in a Bottle!
The NEW strength and stamina enhancer for the modern age, by FP Products.
Turns soft, weak muscles into power-packed balls of steel!' Oh for Pete's sake
Mary, did you actually spend money on this? You fall for the dumbest things!"

Looking crestfallen, Mary said. "But honey, I thought you'd like it, since you
never seem to have time for real exercise anymore."

Marty flexed his large and once powerful but now rather soft biceps. "You
don't get muscle from that crap! It takes hard work. I should know, eh? Just
take it back, will you?" he said, sounding very annoyed.

"Oh dear, I can't!" Mary said, fluttering her hands and looking about to cry.
"They were on sale!"

"They?"

Mary looked down at the floor. "Well, it was 75% off so ... I got a ... couple
um ... of cases ... for friends and ...." Her voice trailed off.

Marty shook his head. "Really, Mary. Haven't we discussed wasting money on
these useless gimmicks before?"

"Yes. I know, " she said in a very small voice. "What if ... you just try it?"

He snorted with condescension and looked at the ingredients. "Well, there's
nothing actually bad for you. I may as well. Since I paid for it! What MORE do
I have to lose?" Marty unscrewed the cap. "It looks like a little bit juice
and some colored water!"

He took a few swallows.

"Yup, sweet and syrupy crap, just what I thought." he said, handing it back to
his wife.

She turned the bottle around and read the list of ingredients. "It says it has
a new secret formula for enhancing strength. It's called 'Bicepxxion!'. It
sounds so powerful," she said, wishing it would work and prove to her husband
that she wasn't really the total ninny he always thought she was.

"Sure it does," he said, putting his hands against the fridge and starting to
push, grunting with effort and not moving it any further. "Just look at this
thing just SAIL across the room!"

Panting, he stopped pushing and leaned against the side of the fridge. "I give
up! And by the way, did I tell you that stuff wouldn't work?"

Mary looked down at the floor, embarrassed. "Yes, you did, Marty. And you were
right, as usual,' she added, feeling crushed.

He smiled. He may not have been able to move the fridge. He may have to fork
out $200 to Jerry. But he least he proved to Mary, once again, that he knew
more than she did.

"Well, I know how I can get a little of the money back. I'll drink them
instead of my usual little water bottles. And after all this cleaning work, I
guess I'm feeling kind of thirsty right now," Mary said, lifting the open
bottle to her mouth and drinking from it. "Mmmm, it tastes good!" She put her
free hand on her hip and tilted her head back as she emptied the bottle.

Marty had to admire the way she could chug down a bottle, whether it was beer,
water or this awful stuff. He glanced down at her belly and watched it expand
to accommodate the 15 ounces he had left in the bottle.

"Ahh," she said brightly. "That was good!" She put the bottle on the counter.
A gust of wind blew it over and scattered a few drops on the floor, but before
Mary was able to clean it, her new kitten, Cuddles, had lapped it up. "Good
kitty! You're helping mommy!"

Marty could see that, as usual, Mary had accepted his authority and was now
resigned to make the best of it, just as she should.

Cuddles mewed loudly, shook her head and bounded quickly out of the room.

"Must be some caffeine or something in there," Mary said, shuddering a little.
"Funny. It wasn't mentioned on the label."

"Maybe that's the secret ingredient in the 'Bicepxxion'," Marty suggested,
unable to resist giving Mary another little dose of his sarcasm.

"Marty!" I thought we were past all that!" Mary said, sounding a little
dismayed and wondering how longer Marty was going to go on about her foolish
mistake.

"I'm only saying ..." Marty started but stopped abruptly when he saw Mary
shudder once again.

"My shirt's feeling tight," she complained. "I think I drank too much." Marty
looked at her. If anything, the bulge in her stomach seemed smaller but her
shirt definitely was tighter across her bust and was pulling higher, leaving
her navel exposed.

"Meow! Merowf!" Cuddles was mewing at Tom, Mary's other cat, who was now
dashing past them and hurtled outside through the cat flap.

"What's gotten into him?!" Mary said. "Ooooh!"

Her shirt was also being stretched across her shoulders and the small sleeves
were getting very snug. She put her hand over her stomach, and when she took
it away the bulge was even smaller.

"Are you all right?" Marty asked.

She nodded. She covered her mouth with her hand but was grinning slightly as
she said, "Umm, honey, you won't believe this, but I think this stuff might be
working, you know?" She held up her arms and new curves of muscle had emerged
on her upper arms, forcing her sleeves further up to her shoulders. With every
breath, her chest expanded, her shoulders widened, and her legs filled out and
even became a little longer.

Marty couldn't believe his eyes. He stared, unable to move or blink, at Mary's
t-shirt, which was becoming far too small for her rapidly developing torso.

"Maybe I'll be able to move that fridge," she said hopefully. She flexed her
arm and a firm muscle the size of half an orange popped up with a thick vein
running along the top of it. "Just look at this muscle I have now!" She
touched it. "It's so big, and it's really hard too!"

Marty briefly glanced at her muscle, which was at least three quarters as
large as his but looked even larger on Mary's smaller arm, and looked quickly
away. "Forget it, Mary," he said. "It's too heavy. You'll just hurt yourself.
Call Jerry."

"But Marty!" Mary started.

Just then, Cuddles sauntered into the room, looking larger and more supple.
She went to the spot where she had lapped up the spilled drops before and
licked furiously. Was it just Marty's imagination that he could hear her
tongue scraping the floor? That the spots where she was licking suddenly
seemed worn? Her rust-colored coat glistened in the light. She purred loudly,
moved to Marty's foot and started nudging him with her head just above his
ankle.

"Ooooh just look at her, getting so big already! Isn't she so cute the way
she's nuzzling you, Marty? I think she wants to go there," Mary said.

"Obviously," Marty said, stubbornly staying put. No way he was going to move
for the sake of Mary's cat. Cuddles was pushing harder. The pressure of her
head was actually hurting his ankle, and he was having to brace himself with
his other leg to keep from moving. She stopped, to Marty's relief, and shook
her head furiously and then looked up at him and opened her mouth, bared her
teeth and meowed loudly.

Mary bent down to pet him. 'You're getting to be such a big, strong beautiful
puddy cat. Just wait ‘til you're all grown up!" Cuddles purred loudly, almost
like a rumble. Mary giggled. "She's so sweet. Oooh, all that liquid in the big
bottle must be going right through me. I gotta pee!" She left the room.

Cuddles padded back over to Marty's foot and started pushing it with her head
again, digging her feet into the floor for more leverage. The pressure was
quickly getting to be more than Marty could stand so he (gently, because he
well knew she was Mary's favorite) slipped his foot under Cuddles's body and
lifted her surprisingly heavy body a foot in the air and deposited her further
away. She shook her head again, arched her back, stretched, shook herself and
then snarled loudly.

"Honey, what's wrong with Cuddles?" Mary called from the bathroom.

"Nothing," he called back, replanting his foot in the same spot. She lifted
one foot at Marty and bared her claws. He stuck his tongue out at her. She
mewed loudly and padded over to the kitchen counter, knocked the plastic
bottle over with her paw and started lapping at the rim. Not satisfied, she
stuck her tongue inside as far as it could go until she tilted it upwards,
getting the residue of liquid that was left at the bottom and along the curve
of the bottle. She let it go and it dropped to the floor, scattering a few
more drops around. She hopped down and quickly lapped them up too. She took a
few more breaths and shook her body again. Then she turned back at Marty and
walked determinedly in his direction.

Something about her gait made Marty very nervous. He lifted his other foot and
pointed it at her, threatening to kick her away again. She ducked under it,
and pushed upward with her head, forcing his foot higher. He put more weight
on it, but she was still pushing it higher raising herself on her surprisingly
stocky hind legs to do it. Then she backed away and meowed again, loudly.

The toilet flushed. "What are you DOING to sweet little Cuddles?" Mary called.

"Nothing!" Marty called out, and then grumbled "What's she doing to me?" under
his breath as Cuddles wound her tail around his other ankle and started
tightening it as if she were a boa constrictor. He had never imagined that a
cat's tail could be so powerful, and it was all he could do to keep himself
from crying out in pain. He had no choice but to comply and he lifted his
foot. Cuddles promptly released her grip and lapped up a little pool of liquid
that had been beneath Marty's foot. She shuddered again, licked her lips,
looked up at Marty with an evident air of satisfaction and stuck out her
tongue.

"Why you!" Marty exclaimed and started at her. She mewed and effortlessly
hopped a foot higher than Marty's head and made a scratching in the air motion
with her paw. She landed gracefully, hopped over to the case of cat food in
the kitchen, knocked one of the cans loose and rested her front paws on each
side of the can. Satisfied that she had Marty's attention, she pushed on the
can, compressed it and broke it. Then she peeled the metal away and sucked out
the food, leaving an empty, crushed can. She turned and walked past Marty and
once again hopped in the air, again above his head, showing her claws and
again landing gracefully just as Mary re-entered the room. Then she padded out
of the room and out through the cat flap.

Marty was staring at Mary, who sauntered over to stand in front of the
refrigerator. Her muscles had grown so much that her shirt was now molded to
her chest like a second skin, but reaching only just below her bust and not
even to the end of her shoulders. Her muscles were now at least half again as
large as Marty's, even unflexed. Marty had a feeling from the way Mary was
looking at him that they weren't going to stay unflexed for very long.

"Umm, honey!" she said, no longer looking at the floor but rather directly
into the eyes of her taller but far less muscular husband. "Looks like you
were totally wrong about the stuff I bought after all." She put her hands
together in front of her powerful chest and pushed. Her pecs thrust outward,
while her biceps bulged even more powerfully. "Look at my biceps, babe.
They're getting pretty big. And they're no longer soft OR weak!" She pressed
one hand around the back of the fridge and pulled it several feet out into the
room. "No need for Jerry now, eh?"

"Umm, n-n-no," Marty stammered.

"I'm sure feeling strong! Go pick up the bottle and read the label, will you
hon?"

There was a loud bird cry. Cuddles had leapt twenty feet in the air from the
back yard to snag a bird in mid-flight.

"Hey, did you see that? It even worked on Cuddles!" Mary exclaimed as the
powerful kitten leapt even higher to attack another bird. "That must be why
she was making all her meows! Poor little kitty! She must've been so scared!"

I don't think so," Marty said as he bent down to take the bottle. The
directions and warnings were in small print.

"INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Toning. Take 2 tablespoons to firm and strengthen soft, sagging muscles; 4
tablespoons for hard, well-trained muscles.

2. Growth. For muscle growth, each additional tablespoons, up to 16*
tablespoons (*plus or minus 2) ("Maximum Effective Growth Application" or
"MEGA"), should result in one-half inch of bicep growth, with commensurate
size increases in other muscles.

Maximum Effective Growth Application varies due to differences in genetics,
conditioning and body size.

MEGA-Dosages above 16* tablespoons (*plus or minus 2) will NOT increase growth
or firmness. MEGA-doses increase strength ONLY, doubling strength with each 3
tablespoons in excess of Maximum Effective Growth Application. If repeated
doubling of strength is undesirable do NOT exceed Maximum Effective Growth
Application."

WARNINGS:

*Results May Vary. EVERY woman's body is unique

*Keep Away from Children and Pets

*Extreme Strength can be Dangerous to Friends and Family

*Biceps in a Bottle has NO EFFECT on Men, nor does any competing product,
whatever it may claim. DON'T BE MISLED. If your man wants muscles, tell him to
work out. After all, he's a man!

*Don't forget! If your man has a beer gut, buy him Beer Belly Buster in a
Bottle, for a Slim Him! By FP products.

FP Products, a division of Female Power Corp."

"Mary! This thing you got only works on girls!" Marty exclaimed.

"Really? And I'd bought it for you!" Mary laughed. "Silly me for not reading
the label. And I should have known, it being so bright and pink! Not the sort
of thing I'd usually buy for a manly man like you!"

Marty shook his head. "I can't believe this. Just how strong are you going to
get?"

"I don't know. You're the one who's good with numbers. Let's see .... I DO
know 16 tablespoons in a cup -- cause I do all the cooking -- and I probably
had 15 ounces -- the bottle was almost full -- which is a little less than 2
cups. So how many is that, Marty?"

"Errr, about 30 tablespoons."

"Ooooo! I can do the rest! 4 tablespoons for toning. Then 16 for getting big.
4 plus 16 is 20, right? And thirty minus twenty is 10. And then ten divided by
3 is a little more than 3, so I'm a little more than three times as strong as
I was before! Cool!"

"No, no! You did it wrong!" Marty said impatiently. "You have to double it
three times, three and a third times, actually, so you're actually, uh, 9 or
ten times as strong as ...." His voice trailed off.

'Huh?" she said. "You mean I'm ten times as strong as before? Wow!"

"No! You're ... oh, shit! You see, all this doubling stuff started only after
your muscles got harder and then grew. You were, probably, already stronger
when the doubling started, because your muscles were bigger."

"Yeah, harder and well-trained was what you read. That's definitely it.
Already when I was peeing, I could - um, never mind."

"Huh? What could you do?"

"Oh, um, well, you'll see. I'm sure you can fix it. Or we should just get a
new one."

"A new WHAT?" Marty bellowed.

"Hmmm. What I think you should do is stop yelling at me," she said quietly,
and with a small smile. She was leaning on the fridge and casually crushed the
top left side. "Whoa! Will you look at that? Maybe I AM even a little stronger
than I thought." She pushed an area above and below where she crushed it to
try to even it out, but only made it worse. "Oh dear. Well, we really needed a
new fridge."

"What?!! Since when!" Marty replied hotly.

"Look how much wider my shoulders are now than yours, just from one bottle!"

"I – ulp!" Marty said.

"And my arms make yours look like skinny little toothpicks! Look at how big
they get when I flex them. They're so much bigger than yours ... OR Jerry's.
And they're hard like STEEL! If I knew having muscles would be this cool I'd
have started lifting weights a long time ago!"

"No way! There's no way I'd let you do that!" Marty said.

"Hmmmph!" Mary raised an eyebrow. "Did you hear what I said? I must be REALLY
strong, you know."

"I don't CARE if you're Godzilla!" he shouted. Mary glared at him. She took a
step forward and gave a quick bicep flex, showing her hard bicep muscles had
now expanded to the size of melons. Marty swallowed and said more quietly,
"Just don't touch anything else, ok?" he said, still annoyed.

Mary looked at him non-committally. She crossed the rest of the room in two
quick steps and put her arm firmly around his shoulder. "I don't know how I
could do that, honey, but I really will TRY to be more careful. I just hope my
little baby here won't bruise too easily." She tightened her grip slightly and
his body compressed into hers.

"Heyy!" he said, pushing helplessly against her. Except for her breasts, her
body was rock hard. "You're crushing me!"

"Am I?" she said, easing up slightly. She walked across the room to the window
looking out into the back yard, carrying Marty along with her as if she were a
little girl holding her dolly. Cuddles was leaping from tree to tree, chasing
the birds. The powerful kitten paused on a branch and looked higher, eyeing a
hawk circling the yard.

"My adorable little Cuddles is Queen of the yard now, but what if one of those
mice that run around here gets a bigger dose?" Mary said. "I'd better give her
a little more!"

An image of himself held captive in Cuddles paws, or worse, her sharp teeth
and claws, popped into Marty's head. "No! Don't you remember ‘Keep away from
Pets'? Didn't I read you the warnings?"

"Yes, I heard you," she said airily. "But Cuddles is practically family!" Mary
said, holding Marty a little more tightly. He pushed against her arm, and she
pretended to yawn. "Oh Marty! I think things are gonna be a little different
around here from now on!"

Just then the doorbell rang. "Peggy! That's why I was cleaning earlier, and
now the kitchen is still such a mess!" Mary said, suddenly distraught. The
bell rang again. Mary released Marty and gave him a little push, sending him
stumbling toward the front door. "You answer it. I'll straighten up quickly."

"You didn't tell me your sister was coming!" Marty said, cross again.

"If I had, you wouldn't have stayed," Mary replied. "And she said she wanted
to see you too today. I don't know why."

Marty looked back at her angrily, but decided this was not the time to
confront her. He went to open the door while Mary whisked the lunch plates
into the dishwasher and tried to press the refrigerator back into shape.

"Ooooh! It's Little Marty!" Peggy said enthusiastically when Marty opened the
door.

"Peggy?" Marty said, as his formerly but now statuesque, long-legged
sister-in-law breezed past him right into the kitchen, successfully catching
her sister before she had completed her last minute clean-up.

"Mary! Oh, I know what YOU'VE been up to!" she said, enveloping her one foot
shorter, but far more muscular sister in her large arms.

"Peggy, what's happened to you?" Mary asked, craning her head up. "We were
always the same height, but you're so much taller than me!"

"I was always the taller one!" Peggy said.

"Only by half an inch!" Mary replied.

"Well ... didn't I tell you about my new sales job for FP Products? I've just
been trying out the samples. I tried ‘Long Luscious Legs in a Lollipop' this
morning -- before I went shopping for a whole new wardrobe. I see you got the
‘Biceps in a Bottle' before someone cleared the whole stock out."

Mary blushed. "I bought it for Marty!" Mary replied

"In the Feminine Products section?" Peggy asked.

"Well ... I thought it might be in the wrong place."

"Silly Sis! Well, it sure looks like you drank the whole bottle! You always
COULD chug ‘em."

"I was thirsty. When Marty tried it, I thought it didn't work," Mary said,
defending herself.

"Don't worry! I'm not criticizing you. They only gave me a two ounce sampler
of that one, and it just filled me out a little. I'll have to wait until the
next shipment until I can look like you."

Marty was looking more and more distressed as the conversation progressed, but
the look of horror on his face far surpassed the previous unhappy expressions,
quickly followed by an attempt to stop Mary from saying ....

"Oh you don't have to wait, Pegs! I've got extra!" She twent to the cupboard
to retrieve a bottle from the case.

"Mary!" he protested in vain. "Don't give it to HER!"

"She's my SISTER!" Mary retorted as Peggy surreptitiously stuck her tongue out
at Marty as if to say, 'I'm getting stronger and you're not, nyahh, nyahhh!'

"Oh! So it was you who bought it all out. Well, this is SO sweet of you,
Mary!" she said, smiling and taking the bottle. She raised the bottle toward
Marty. "I know you're not drinking with me, but ‘Cheers!' Thanks for sharing."
She tipped it upwards and started downing it, but unlike Mary she needed four
breaths before finishing it. Meanwhile, Mary drank a third of another bottle,
to make sure Peggy didn't get ahead of her.

"Mmmmm. It should start working in a few minutes." She pointed to her bag.
"Have a lollipop. And I have to show you the samples of the other products!
This one's 'Tougher Tea'. It increases a woman's resistance to injury, illness
and fatigue with each cup she drinks. Ten cups and you're practically
bullet-proof, although I wouldn't personally want to be the one to test it.
This package makes 'Breasty Brownies'. Even if you don't like to cook, any
woman would want to make and eat these! The quadruple-acting formula combines
bust enlargement for sex appeal, strengthening of pectoral and back muscles
for ease of movement, increased nipple sensitivity for pleasure and
elimination of cancer risks for health. And they're low in calories!"

"Wow!" Mary said enthusiastically. "That's amazing!"

"There's also 'Bubble Butt Bubble Gum', 'Wasp Waist Wafers', 'Eagle-Eye Bird
Seed', 'Sky High IQ Pie', 'Aging Backwards Upside Down Cake' and --

"I suppose those are all for women only," Marty said sarcastically.

Peggy looked at him indifferently. She held up her arm and flexed so she could
watch her muscle as it thickened, expanded, and then loudly burst through and
split her shirtsleeve. "Were you saying something, little Marty? Oh, FP
Products does have a few items for men. There's 'Beer Belly Buster in a
Bottle', which I'm can sure see that you can use. Also, 'Temper Taming Tea',
'Boner Brownies' --

"What kind of crap is that?" Marty said angrily. "All this stuff you're
selling gives women muscle, brains, endurance, while we men get to lose
weight, get rid of our bad moods, and get put in a position to sexually
satisfy you women? What's in it for me?"

Peggy walked closer and loomed above him, letting him crane his head upwards
to look her in the eye. She was steadily packing on more and more muscle, and
the development of her chest was leaving less and space for Marty. Mary
approached from the other side, once again just half an inch shorter than her
sister. Their breasts, supported by the muscles gained from the 'Biceps in a
Bottle' drink hemmed him in on each side, and their broad shoulders and torso
cut off any chance for escape.

Peggy leaned down, putting her face next to Marty's. "You mean, you don't like
the idea of my sister getting stronger, tougher and smarter? Are you worried
about what she'll figure out once she's boosted her IQ to 250? Once she can
see well enough to read a computer screen from across the house? Once she can
squeeze your little body to pulp if she gets carried away?"

"Awww, honey, don't let her scare you! I love you! I'll be really careful. I'm
sure you'll get used to it very quickly," Mary said, placing her large hand on
Marty's back and pulling him into her body.

"As if he had a choice!" Peggy laughed loudly, throwing her back and flexing
her melon-sized biceps. "Hooo-weee! Watch out boys! Power Pegs is on her way!"