Melissa Solves a Problem. by the perverted moronic Madman




Melissa here, primarily because I'm no where else. As great as I am, I can
only be in one place at a time and this is it. Madman was unsure of whether to
write one of his rants or to write about my exploits of beating and dominating
inferior males. Because he is too stupid to decide, we will do a little of
both. First, there will be a few paragraphs of ranting followed by an
accounting of my most recent exploits.

If you don't like his rants, skip that part and go directly to the actual
story. If you don't like the stories, just read the rant and then stop. If you
have any brains, just pass on reading the whole fucking thing.

If you were dumb enough to read my last story, yet smart enough to remember
it, you would be aware that I gave Zack the most brutal beating that I have
ever had the pleasure of inflicting on an overmatched victim. Actually , all
my victims are overmatched, otherwise they wouldn't be victims

Hold on a moment! I was supposed to have Madman write one of his ridiculous
rants before getting into the plot or the essence of this story and that has
yet to be done. So remember the beginning of the plot or the premise that it
shall encompass until after the idiotic rant that will start in the very next
paragraph.

I enjoy watching westerns on television. For those of you unfamiliar with the
genre they take place in the west. I think that may be why they call them
westerns. The time period is usually in the 1800's. Bonanza and Gunsmoke are
two popular western shows and there have been many full length movies filmed
as well. These took place prior to the invention of the automobile, so
transportation was provided by horses. What bothers me is that I have never
seen any horse shit on the streets on any town.

The marksmanship of some of the characters tends to be unbelievable. Perhaps
the greatest cowboy actor of all time was the great John Wayne. When he fought
Indians, he averaged hitting 3.7 Indians per shot. That is a remarkable
statistic which is why I just remarked about it.

They call the hats they wear ten gallon hats. In reality, they are much
smaller than that. Few of them could actually hold much more than three
gallons. And of the criminals are called outlaws, the law abiding citizens are
all in laws.

And why do they call them cowboys. All cows are females. They should call them
bull boys. When they talk it would be pure bull shit. Madman is better at
ranting than telling an actual story. A story required characters and a plot.
Ranting requires nothing but a raving idiot and Madman can obviously do that.

While we are on the subject of westerns, take a look at the women In them.
Life was supposed to be tough in the west. Men and women had to work hard and
medicine was primitive compared to the present. There was little time or money
for luxury items. Yet almost all the women are beautiful, dressed in elaborate
gowns, with perfectly coifed hair and fastidiously applied makeup It seems
just a bit out of place to me

I was just out and somebody wished me a happy new year. New Year's Day was
over two weeks ago. So when do you stop wishing people a happy New Year's Day?
February 1, January 31 or when? You stop wishing people a merry Christmas on
December 25, so why should the other holiday linger for an undetermined length
of time?

Okay, that's the end of the useless rant. My problem is that no other writer
has approached me about appearing in their stories, so I'm still stuck with
Madman. On top of that, I don't even have a boy to demolish right now. Zack is
in the hospital getting an artificial knee implanted in his left leg. As you
may remember I totally demolished him in an attempt to get a better writer for
my adventures in wrestling

I totally destroyed his knee to try and impress other writers, but it didn't
work. The doctor said that he had never seen a knee that badly damaged and he
had seen tons of knees. He will undergo knee replacement surgery tomarrow.
This means we no longer have a slave houseboy in our athletic girls' house at
State University and, even more importantly, I no longer have an always
available guy to beat up.

Zack will be unavailable for at least six months. At least I get the
satisfaction that he will have to go through many hours of arduous painful
rehab. I just love knowing Zack is in pain. He wouldn't tell anyone who did
destroyed his knee because he knew what would happen if he did. I had told
Zack long ago that if he ever tried to make trouble for us , that we would
take it out on one of his family members. It might be a parent, a sibling or
even a grandparent, but someone would get a major beatdown

It's going to be hard to wait for Zack although it is nice to know that he
will have to go through painful arduous rehab. When he gets done with it and
is well on the way to recovery is when I will intercede. I'm going to attack
the artificial knee until I tear the ligaments and tendons that attach it to
his leg. I don't know if they can replace it a second time or if he will be
permanently crippled. I hope they can repair it again so I can damage it
again. I want his knee to be in pain for every minute of the rest of his
worthless life.

But anything to do with Zack was about six months away. Next year, my sister
Shannon will be on our university and living in this house. She is forcing her
slave/wrestling toy Herman to come here to. Herman is a brilliant student who
wanted to go to an Ivy League school and was accepted at both Harvard and
Yale. But Shannon is his boss and she ordered him to come here. He could
replace Zack but he is is so puny and brittle. He's about 5'6" tall and maybe
130 pounds soaking wet. He can't handle tough enough wrestling to satisfy me,
he just passes out.

So my immediate problem. Is to find a boy that I can beat up right now. This
is because Madman has made me a strictly one dimensional character. The only
thing I ever do is to beat up or torture boys. You don't know anything else
about me. This makes it very difficult to find another jerk to beat up. You
don't know what classes I'm taking at State University. You don't even know
which stare, there are fifty of them. How about my favorites kinds of food or
television shows. I think this is why no better writers wanted me. I am a
great wrestler and very cruel and sadistic. That's fine, but I seldom spend
more than an hour, or two at tops, beating someone up. Some days I don't beat
anyone up, but to Madman those days don't exist.

I suppose I could dress real slutty and pick up some jerk to beat up in a bar.
That is how I got Zack. But even Madman has more pride than to use the exact
same plot twice. The problem is he's too stupid to think up another one.
Things have never been so bad for me. Not only am I still stuck with a shitty
writer, but I don't even have anyone to beat up. Maybe I can steal a victim
from Jim Priest or some other writer in this website. There is one thing I can
guarantee. A long layoff is really going to piss me off and my next victim is
going to pay for that bigtime within only a few poorly written paragraphs when
I find him