FromThe Game Show 
by The Incredably Moronic and Stupidist Lifeform in the Galaxy, Madman



The following recount of a game show was written without the concent of Bob
Barker, Chuck Woolery or any other past or present game show host. This is
necessary because no game show host would want their name associated with a
story as inane and poorly written as this one. The only people dumber than the
contestants, that lost badly on their shows are you, the reader, for wasting
your time reading this travesty of fiction. I am starting a petition to ban me
from this website and delete all my miserable stories. Please join me in
emailing Diana with this request. Anyways, for those who are bored or
incredably stupid, here is the story of this ridiculous game show

The game show host, Bill Newsome comes out with his over groomed hair and
huge, bright white bleached teeth. If he was not a game show host, he would
likely be a used car salesman or the protagonist in a story that hasn't yet
been written. His cohost, the lovely Dorothy Cummings is a tall woman with
poorly dyed blonde hair, long legs and big silicone laden tits. If she was not
eye candy for a game show, she would likely be a hooker for impotent elves or
the protagonist in a video game.

Bill introduces the contestants, two people willing to humiliate themselves on
national television for useless or nonexistent prizes. "Let's welcome Barbara,
tell us a little bit about yourself please."

She robotically responded, "My name is Barbara from St. Louis. , Missouri and
I'm an administrative assistant. My hobbies are nature walks, sewing and
baking cupcakes."

The host turned blankly at a man and insincerely said, "This is Tim, tell us
something about yourself, so the audience will stop staring at Dorothy's
tits." There was a momentary pause because Tim was also staring at her tits

Tim was a raggedy looking, balding man, with large black glasses and
mismatched clothing. He said "My name is Tim from Omaha, Nebraska. I'm a
retired moron and a slacker and I'm into drinking soured milk, reading books
in foreign languages that I don't understand and sadomasocistic sex.
Surprisingly, his bizarre answer caused no reaction from Bill or the studio
audience, because they were all still looking at Dorothy's tits.

Finally, Bill broke the silence and proclaimed, "Let's play trivia sexual
torture. Barbara won the coin toss by correctly predicting that a coin that
was heads on both sides would come up heads." He continued "Dorothy, what is
the first catagory to kick off this insidious game?"

Reading the answer was difficult for her, because she spent her time in school
giving her English teacher blow jobs instead of actually learning the
material. The bizarre aspect of that tactic is that Dorothy was home schooled.
"Bill," she finally said. "The first category is things used to fuck someone
in the ass "

Bill read the first question. "What impliment is Kelly best known to use to
fuck Zack up his ass?"

Barbara, at least had the good sense not to read Madman's other hideous
stories, but she hazarded a guess "A dildo," she said, figuring that was a
logical answer. What she hadn't realized is the a logical answer in an
illogical story could never be correct.

Tim, as an admitted moron, was certain to know the right answer. "A golf
ball," he gleefully responded, unaware that he was fucked no matter what
answer he gave.

"Correct," exclaimed the game show host as if he had just bitten into a
caramel covered sardine. "Your opponent now gets the honor of fucking you up
the ass with the object of her choice. Tim was unaware the the game was rigged
and that he would get fucked regardless of who answered the question
correctly. The only purpose of the question was to fill up time and gain an
additional opportunity to look at Dorothy's tits. Barbara chose the six inch
spike heel of Dorothy's shoe.

Dorothy took a pair of scissors and cut out the fabric from the back of Tim's
pants and underpants to allow access to his ass without exposing his dick.
That would result in censorship by the ,FCC and prevent the show from airing
on television. Barbara, then, rammed the spike heel into Tim's ass. Tim winced
in pain and the audience cheered happy to see the festivities had begun.

Bill announced to the totally uninterested audience. "For winning the first
round, Barbara has won a prize. Tell her what she's won, Dorothy."

Dorothy was limping because she had only one shoe, but managed to blurt out,
"Bill, the lucky lady has won a case of Turtle wax consisting solely of empty
tins."

"Okay," Bill exclaimed. "We would have a word from our sponsor now, except
that no company was dumb enough to be associated with such a stupid asinine
show as this one is. So, without any further ado, we will go directly to round
two. And what is the category for this round, lovely Dorothy?"

Dorothy answered, "We only have one category Bill, things used to shove up
somebody's ass. Remember I'm just here so people can look at my tits,"

"Here we go," Bill proclaimed as cheerfully as a man about to have oral
surgery. "What did golfing great Tiger Woods shove up the ass of his caddy?"

Barbara thought golf was about as interesting as watching cars rust, but she
figured the answer would be a golf club. Bill informed her that she was
incorrect, but that nobody would care unless she had tits as succulent as
Dorothy's ones. Once again, Tim knew the correct answer and blurted out
"Another golf ball, Bill."

"Right you are again," Bill almost shouted out. He was excited because he knew
that neither Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton would approve of this terrorist
inspired game. He asked Barbara what she wanted to shove up Tim's ass this
time and she selected Bill's microphone. Bill was not happy about having to
use a microphone that had just been stuck up some guys ass, but it was better
than having to give a blow job to a castrated Norwegian who fished for salmon
using pea pods soaked in vinegar as bait. As a true professional , he forgot
those thoughts like a person with amnesia analyzing the universe from memory.
The only thing he actually remembered was to say "Dorothy, what prize has
Barbara won for this round's triumph.

"Bill," she answered, while standing at an angle that made her tits look
bigger, because she knew she was a talentless bimbo relying only on her tits
to get a job, " she has won a new air guitar and the right to be involved in
poorly written and conceived sentence that is way too long.

Bill, the game show host said that this would be the third and final round
because he was getting bored and wanted to jack off while thinking about
Dorothy's tits. This round would also be double or nothing although there was
absolutely nothing to double. He then asked, ""What is white, round and has
336 dimples?"

Barbara was pretty sure she knew this one. With immense pride, she stated, "A
convention of 168 Shirley Temple look alikes?" Once again, she was wrong, but
she was not upset. She knew the game was rigged and that she would win
regardless of who knew the answer.

"The correct answer," Tim said confidently, "is a golf ball. And with that we
will now reenact, perhaps the most famous activity in the history stupid,
poorly conceived and written literature. Barbara, you will now shove a
golfball up Tim's ass."

There are certain events in history or literature that are so impactful that
they will never be forgotten. Ben Hur winning the famous chariot race is one.
So was Moses parting the Red Sea in leading the Jewish slaves out of Egypt.
Neil Armstrong walking on the moon was truly a historical event and a
monumental achievement, as was Louis Armstrong recording Hello Dolly and a
drug addled Lance Armstrong winning the Tour de France bicycle race seven
times. In prehistoric times, being able to walk erect and learning how to
master the use of fire shaped the future of all mankind. But these great
events pale in comparison to Kelly shoving that golf ball up Zack's ass What
was about to occur brought all of human creation to the edge. Its impact was
greater than the creation and evolution of life, quite possibly of the most
significant event on the entire universe since the creation of time and
matter. Barbara was about to shove a golf ball up Tim's ass

The audience was completely silent as they wanted nothing to distract them
from viewing this event. The president of the United States was on all
television channels announcing that nuclear warfare had started and several
American cities had been bombed. But all networks interrupted the president to
break away and air Barbara shoving the golf ball up Tim's ass. Finally it
happened. If there is a God, he even paused to look. If there isn't a God, one
was created solely to oversee this event.

Barbara borrowed Dorothy's shoe to tamp down golf ball in Tim's ass. That type
of shoe now sells for over ten times the price of the most expensive Air
Jordan basketball shoe. She pounded it in with full force. Then the television
screens went blank. The historic act had been censored. But, no one will ever
forget that incident. The legend of the golf ball will live forever