A Farewell to Arms 
by the slightly improving writer, Madman



There is a great deal of literature written in the English language. Most of
it has been written in either England or America. Undoubtably the majority of
great authors are English and there are good reasons as to why that is.

First of all, it is their language. Americans speak English, Englishmen don't
speak American. Also England has been in existance far longer than America.
There were great English writers in England long before the language was used
in America. It's only residents, native Americans, spoke a number of
languages, such a Navaho, Apache, Cherokee and so forth. None of them knew
English and that held true until Europeans arrived rather recently in relation
to the age of England.

England can proudly boast of great writers, likely superior to all other
writers of the language. Shakespeare and Dickens are just a couple of a long
list of great English or British authors. This is not to say that America
hasn't also produced some very fine, possibly great authors. Madman is
certainly not among them, we are discussing the best, not the worst writers.
Madman would win that hands down, not only for the English language, but also
for any language throughout history. Mark Twain, Henry Miller and Edgar Allen
Poe are a few examples of the great American writers. My personal favorite of
all American authors is Ernest Hemingway. A highly productive writer, he was
responsible for a number of great works. My personal favorite of his books is
A Farewell to Arms.

I liked that book so much that I wanted to honor it at our girls athletic
house at State University. Naturally this involved taking our slave houseboy
Zack down to the basement and beating the crap out of him. This time, I didn't
want to involve a lot of the girls, I wanted to make it more it a more
intimate beating. So, I only invited Lisa, our small but strong
African-American gymnast. She had not been extremely active in Zack's previous
beatings, so I knew she would really enjoy it. I really like Lisa and thought
it would be lot of double teaming him with her

Out of respect to the title of that great novel, we were only going to attack
Zack's arms. Although we usually worked over more of his body parts,
especially his injured left knee, we were going to exclusively hurt his arms.
I'm sure that Zack will get another beating long before his knee will heal, it
might already have permanent damage. So Lisa and I ordered him to go down to
the basement and Zack, knowing he had no other option, complied.

Once we were downstairs, I immediately went after him, without uttering a
single word. I grabbed his left wrist and spun around to start the festivities
with a nice arm wringer.

Lisa applied the same hold to his right wrist and we had Zack in agony
already. After a couple of minutes we reversed our holds and twisted his arm
the other way. We were really hurting his shoulders and Zack's moaning in pain
pleased us.

We weren't done working on his shoulders, not even close. Still holding Zack's
wrists, Lisa and up both drove our knees into his belly. Zack fell to the mat
on his back, winded and in pain I kicked him hard on the ribs and rolled him
over so he was face down on the mat. Lisa and I applied matching arm
stretchers by jamming our feet against the sides of his neck and chest and by
pushing with our strong legs and pulling hard with our arms.

This was really hurting Zack, but it was only a prelude to a much more
agonizing hold. Keeping our feet in place, Lisa and I sat up and exchanged his
arms. Then we leaned back and pulled hard once again. Now Zack's shoulders
were being painfully stretched across his back, far more painful than the
conventional arm stretcher. I'm sure it felt to Zack that his shoulder were
being separated. Lisa and I ramped up the pressure and maintained our hold for
several minutes. Zack actually started crying, but that only served to
motivate us to pull even harder.

We were satisfied, for the moment with the damage we had done to Zack's
shoulder. We damn nearly tore his rotator cuff, so we decided to work down his
arms to his elbows. Rolling our now helpless victim to his back, Lisa and I
both applied standard arm bars on each side. This is a very basic bjj hold,
but a very effective one. Professional fighters usually submit quickly when
trapped in this hold. But we had two of them on Zack and we were certainly in
no hurry to release them.

Lisa and I had done a good job on Zack's shoulders and elbows, so now it was
time to attack his wrists. We wanted to work over his arms thoroughly and
methodically to properly honor Hemingway. Lisa is a quiet girl and it was
usually hard to see how she felt about things. But she was really getting into
it and I was pleased to see how sadistic she is. She appeared to enjoy
torturing Zack as much as I did. We both wanted our wrist attack to be as
painful as possible so this is what we did.

Lisa firmly grasped his right forearm and I bent his hand down toward the
inside of his wrist. I enjoyed watching Zack grimace in pain as I brutalized
his wrist Then I sharply bent his wrist the other way, back toward the outside
of his wrist. Then to make it even more painful, I reversed the pressure on
his wrist every few seconds. After quite a while Lisa and I switched and she
got to bend his left wrist. In a little stronger than Lisa, but I gave her
Zack's weaker arm, and she eagerly really poured on the pressure.

Now it was time to move down to his hands and fingers. Attacking fingers is
illegal in all forms of martial arts, but we didn't give a shit. Our sole
objective was to inflict as much pain as possible on all parts of Zack's arms.
Lisa and I each kneeled down over his arms facing his hands. Our weight kept
him from moving except for some useless thrashing of his legs. Then we both
went to work o. His hands with a vengeance. We bent his fingers back and forth
, just short of the breaking point we spread his fingers apart and pulled his
thumbs hard away from the rest of his hand. We threw sharp jabs into the
fleshy part of his hand at the base of his thumbs. We must have thrown at
least fifty punches and left Zack's hand swollen and sore.

Now we had battered Zack's arm from his shoulders to his fingers, but neither
Lisa nor I was yet satisfied. We wanted to make +this rank among our most
brutal beatings. We wanted to both pay great homage to Hemingway as well as
inflicting great pain on Zack. I thought it would be fun to attack Zack's puny
bicep muscle. I had Lisa place her wrist o. Zack's bicep with the bony outside
part of her wrist making contact. Then I forced his hand toward his shoulder,
jamming her wrist into his bicep in an excrutiating bicep slicer. After we
thought we had applied this painful technique for long enough to satisfy us,
we repeated it to Zack's other bicep

Then we pinned his forearms under our knees and threw hard jabs into his sore
biceps. Sometimes we ground our knuckles into the muscle for a while before
resuming punching. Zack was in so much pain and he looked so cute as he
grimaced. Now Zack was exhausted and every part of both his arms were hurting
him. Lisa and I figured we were done destroying his arms and that we had done
justice to Hemingway. But we wanted to leave Zack in a position that would be
very painful for him while we went upstairs and resumed our normal activities.

We made him lie on his back on our weight bench. Then we tied every part of
him to the bench except for his arms. We tied ropes around his ankles, his
calves, his thighs, stomach and chest. Then we loosely tied his neck to the
bench. We weren't choking him, just not allowing him to raise his head. The
torture was done by crossing his arms across his chest and tying thirty pounds
of weight to each wrist. This was putting a lot of pressure on his shoulders
and on his sore biceps.

Just as we stood back to savor Zack's suffering, Kelly came downstairs. When
she saw his condition, she congratulated us for our fine work. Then she asked
if we wanted her to add a couple of things to increase the intensity of his
suffering. Both Lisa and I agreed as we were both curious to see what she had
in mind. We knew it would be good based on what she had done before.

Kelly asked us to wait for her to get a few things. She came back down after
just a couple of minutes with a mischievous look on her face. The first thing
she did was to blindfold Zack. She explained that when one sense is
nonfunctional that other senses become more sensitive. This is how blind or
deaf people can sense things that others can't. So, merely blindfolding Zack
would make the pain in his arms more intense

Then Kelly showed us a small tape recorder and turned it on. We heard an awful
hideous sound. One of the girls played guitar and Kelly taped her playing a
chord that was deliberately way out of tune. It was as unpleasant as chalk on
a blackboard. She informed us that she made a loop tape our of it, so that
awful sound would play for as long as she wanted it to. She plugged a set of
headphones into it