Around the Watter Cooler by Madison Marbury A comic script madisonmarbury@hotmail.com Panel 1 At the office. Mona, a five-foot, sweet-looking twenty year old secretary in a short skirt, approaches Bernard, hapless engineer, at his cubicle. Mona: Bernard? Would you help me for a minute? I need to change the bottles on the water coolers. Bernard: No problem! Panel 2 Against a wall are four 35-gallon water bottles. Bernard struggles to lift one off the ground with two hands. Bernard: [thought] Nnngh! God, these things gotta weigh 50 pounds. Panel 3 By the water cooler, B is sweating, shaking, trying as hard as he can to lift the bottle into place. He is barely strong enough. Bernard: [thought] Up ... up ... Mona: Bernard! Careful! What are you doing? Panel 4 Back at the water bottles. Mona is in a one-knee lunge position, with one water bottle on each arm. Her arms are up, clutching them in a bicep flex position. Now we can see her arms are very cut and muscular. She looks back to the last bottle on the floor. Mona: That's not the help I need. Could you just put that last one on top here? Bernard: [thought] Oh my god! Panel 5 With one full water bottle on one arm and two on the other, Mona grunts and performs the lunge, lifting herself upright. Mona: Ngh! OK! Follow me! Bernard: [thought] But ... that's ... she can't weigh more than 100 pounds! Panel 6 Now by the water cooler, Mona keeps two bottles in one arm while the other bottle straight out in front of her by the neck. Bernard is shaking- this is inhuman strength in such a small girl. He undoes the cap of the bottle warily. Mona: OK, undo the top of that bottle for me? Bernard: [thought] Aw, man! What a grip she has! What a beauty she is! Bernard: What a ... great bottle of water this is! Panel 7 Mona screws her face up in concentration, still holding that bottle by the neck, curling it up like a superman curl to a flexed position. Veins in her bicep and forearm pop to life as the muscle stands at attention. B grabs himself and runs away in panic. Mona: EERRRRGH! Bernard: [thought] Oh god, don't cum! Harrassment! Lawsuit! Pink slip! For god sakes don't cum! Panel 8 Bernard sits panicking at his desk, covering his ... you know ... with whatever files and paper he could grab. Mona storms after him, still carrying two bottles of water, furious. Mona: Hey, what's the deal running away?! I srill need you! Bernard: [thought] Erp! Panel 9 Bernard: [thought] Don't let her know you like muscles or she'll think you're a perv! Act macho! Bernard: Hey, babe. I know you're, like, desperate for me to ask you out and all- Mona: WHAT?! Panel 10 Bernard: But, I like my woman with some woman. Not ... whatever you are. Half man, half cow. Um ... Ick. Panel 11 Mona, seething. grabs him by the tie and pulls him off the chair. Bernard dangles and frets, flailing his arms to steady himself. Mona: Take ... that ... back. Bernard: [thought] Whoops! Gonna fall! Panel 12 Bernard grabs Mona's thigh to steady himself. Mona is surprised. Bernard: [thought] Ah! That's better. Panel 13 Same as 12, but now Mona scowls in fury, gripping the tie even tighter, veins bulge in her forearm and her bicep pops up. Bernard realizes he is in BIG trouble, tries to grin nervously. Bernard: Um ... Wait! No! I didn't mean- Panel 14 Mona holds Bernard's tie tight, and uses that same hand to punch him repeatedly in the face. WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! Panel 15 Holding the limp beaten body of Bern in one hand, Mona tosses a water bottle into the air with the other. Panel 16 Mona uppercuts Bern, who goes flying with force and hits the water bottle. Panel 17 The water bottle hits the ceiling, Bern flies with such force he is jammed into the bottle. Panel 18 Mona poses with the bottle of Bern. He blows bubbles. Bernard: [thought] Should've settled for being fired. END [If you would like a custom comic written just for YOU, contact Madison at madisonmarbury@hotmail.com. Rates vary from reasonable to unreasonable, depending on how cool you are and how I feel that day.]