Viewer Mail!
Rick’n’Jen Comic IX
Comic script by Madison Marbury


madisonmarbury@hotmail.com

1

Open on plain white background with Rick, casually dressed in jeans and a polo
shirt, addressing the reader.

Rick: Hey guys. Rick Crew here.

Rick: Or as you may know me, "the dull part of the Rick’n’Jen comics".

2

Rick holds an opened letter as he walks by a pile of mail bags. A tall stack
of letters lies on a stool, other mail lay scattered about.

Rick: Since we’ve been away for six months, we thought we’d get back in the
swing of things by answering actual letters from fictional readers like you.

Rick: Letters like: "Dear Rick’n’Jen: Why were you away for six months?
Signed, Eugene, Oregon."

Rick: Well Eugene...

3

Cut to another white background, where Jen lays a right cross to the chin of
some tall, pudgy, middle-aged loser. WAP! His head snaps back.

Jen: So, thought you could turn MY life into a comic strip, ay, MADISON
MARBURY!?

4

Rick looks off screen toward the carnage, deadpan. We see another WAP balloon
emanating off-panel. Rick also holds the next letter.

Rick: There was... an illness in the family.

WAP!

Rick: Fast becoming terminal.

Rick: "Hi Rick! Wow, is Jen really as mean and hot-tempered as your strip
shows? Signed, Gary from Gary"

5

Cut back. Jen has her foot on top of Mad’s back for leverage, pinning him to
the ground, as she viciously yanks his arm behind him. Mad screams in pain.

Mad: AAAAUGH!!

Jen: I! am SWEET! LOVING! and DEMURE!

6

Rick peers over the next letter as he answers the audience.

Rick: Dear Gary. No. No she is not. Not even slightly. Don’t ask again. Umm...
I’d move out of Gary if I were you.

Rick: "Rick. So if spinach makes Jen so strong, why doesn’t she eat it all the
time? Walter, Lantz MI"

Rick: Walt, this is a common fallacy. Jen’s very strong, even without spinach.

7

Jen performs a sit-down powerbomb on Mad.

Jen: YOU created that misconception! Bad writer!

WHAM!

Jen: BAD!

8

Back to Rick.

Rick: Noticing a pattern to the punchlines, folks?

Rick: "Rick. How big are Jen’s biceps before she eats the spinach, and
afterwards? Same for best lifts. Ken, Kentucky"

9

Close on Jen as she strains to lift (two-handed) a lolling Madison by his
collar. She looks down at her small but pronounced bicep. Rick is in the
background, looking on.

Rick: Hmm... never really measured, did we Jen?

Jen: Well, let’s see. Without spinach... I can keep this creep up... barely.
He’s gotta weigh 210.

Jen: And bicep... looks about 14 inches.

10

Jen holds up a spinach can as a beat M pleads to Rick.

Jen: Always carry the American Distress can!

MM: Please... DO something!!

11

Rick grins malevolently at MM and Jen wolfs down the spinach. Ribbon of music
plays in the background.

Rick: Ah, but if I DID something, it wouldn’t be a Rick’n’Jen cartoon.

Jen: GMAH GMAH GMULP!

12

Jen’s arm shoots straight out as taut, pronounced veins form. Mad is
terrified.

Rick: Have a nice trip.

13

Close on Jen flexing. The bicep bulges to watermelon size and says in bold 3-D
letters, "BIG AS I WANNA BE"

Jen: That answers THAT question.

14a

Jen holds a huge old-style block weight ("500 lbs’) easily with one hand and
holds it above a stunned MM.

Jen: Catch!

14b

Jen tosses it to MM, who tries to grab it with both hands. Its weight
stretches his arms and pins his hands to the floor. He winces, his chin is
exposed. Jen rears her fist back.

14c

Jen delivers the uppercut to his chin, which launches MM and the weight like a
rocket.

15

Jen rubs her fist and admires MM’s trajectory as Rick brings a final letter..

Jen: 700 lbs, lifted a quarter mile! Not my best lift, but darned satisfying.

Rick: One more. "Hey Jen. So what do you DO for a living?"

Rick: Well isn’t it obvious?

16

Jen appears in a pinstripe blazer, white dress shirt and square half-glasses
as Rick tosses the letter over his shoulder.

Rick: Public relations.

Jen: Hey! "Punchlines"! Ha. I just got it. Fun.

END

(...or IS IT?!?)