Take the Ouch from the Brawl Game Script by Madison Marbury Rick'n'Jen Comix #5 madisonmarbury@hotmail.com Panel 1 Exterior shot of Yankee Stadium Legend: Whoa, Nellie! What a day here at beautiful Yankee Stadium! Panel 2 Jen and Rick are in the bleachers of Yankee Stadium. Jen is wearing a tight Mike Piazza micro-T, Mets cap and waving a Mets banner. She is ecstatic. Rick, however, is wearing a Mo Vaughn sweatshirt that is too big on him. He is not happy. Jen: I can't believe I'm actually at the Yankees-Mets game! Rick: I can't believe you made me wear this stupid shirt. Panel 3 Jen: C'mon, sweets. You gotta where the team colors. Rick: Jen, it's three sizes too big! Security thought I was using it to smuggle beer! Panel 4 Someone behind Jen pours their beer over her. Jen: HEY! Panel 5 Two boisterous, scuplted young Italian Yankee fans point at them, holding empty beer cups, and laugh. Jen whips around at them, furious, while Rick cowers. Tony: Ha ha! Hey, Vinnie, lookits. I got loser all over my beer! Vinnie: Aw, damn! That was good Yankee Stadium beer! The stink on that loser shirt's gonna ruin it. Panel 6 Jen angrily berates her boyfriend as he uses his shirt to mop her dry. Jen: Well?! You're just gonna sit there and let them do this to me? Rick: No. I was also gonna call Anheiser Busch for some laundry tips. Jen: Dammit! STAND UP FOR ME! Panel 7 Rick awkwardly tries to address the issue. Rick: Jen, have you ever noticed how you're. you know. Super Spinach-Eating Muscle Flexing Fighter Babe? Jen: So? Rick: So, that makes me Puny Unimportant Get-in-the-Way Boyfriend Guy. Panel 8 The couple argue. In the background, the two Italian guys revel. Jen: Is that what you think? Rick: That's what YOU think. Vinnie: I think Rivera is going to strike out that punk Mike Pizza to end the game. Tony: I think I shall dance in their face when that happens. Yeah, I shall! Panel 9 In the background, Mike Pizza makes contact. CRACK! Jen tosses her can of spinach away. Rick points to the action. Jen: Fine. Look, I'm throwing the spinach away. See? Now I'm just a girl, a girl who wants the man she loves to show that he cares about her. Rick: Jen, quick, he hit it! It's coming this way! Panel 10 Jen lunges with her glove. Jen: Oh my god! A ball hit by Mike Pizza! Please please please let me catch it! Bernie Williams: [thought] Please please please let me catch it! Panel 11 Jen REACHES OVER the wall, and snares the ball practically out of Williams's hands. Panel 12 The umpire signals- Ump: HOME RUN! METS WIN! The crowd BOOOOOOs. Panel 13 A bleacher full of venomously angry Yankee fans stare at the rapturous, oblivious Jen and her dreading Rick! Jen: I got it! I got it! Rick: Oh good. Panel 14 Vinnie and Tony get in Jen's face. Tony rolls his sleeves up to reveal his hairy, burly forearms. Vinnie: That ball was IN PLAY! Jen: Oh. Um- oops? Tony: You stole from us! Nobody steals from the Yankee family! Panel 15 Rick steps between the mob and Jen. Rick: Wait just one minute buster! That's my girlfriend you're threatening to slowly dismember with your bear hands! Panel 16 Jen: Rick, no! They want me, not you! Rick: No Jen, it's time I stood up for you. Jen: But they'll KILL you! Rick: Now she tells me. Panel 17 The mob start beating Rick to a pulp. Jen crawls away desperately. Rick: OW-HOW! NOOO! It doesn't bend that way! Vinnie: It does now, punk! Panel 18 Jen crawls to a big fat Brooklynese hot dog vendor. Jen: Hey hot dog man! Do you carry Deb Monte's Spinach-Textured Veggie Dogs- now with more spinach in every bite? Vendor: Sure, lady. Right next to my caviar on toast point and conger eel sushi in a salmon skin roll. Panel 19 Jen waves money in his face desperately. The vendor is unimpressed. Jen: Gimme nine! Vendor: You ain't talked to New Yawkers much, have ya lady? Panel 20 Jen spies a food stand advertising SPINACH SALAD, and runs toward it. Jen: Never mind. Panel 21 Jen pops handfuls of spinach salad recklessly into her mouth. MASTICATE! MASTICATE! GULP! Panel 22 Jen scowls and flexes a mountainous bicep labeled, "100% Steroid Free". In the background a guy with a camera, holding a navy blue T-shirt, beams at her. Guy: Oh, WOW! Could you do that again with this Yankee shirt on? Panel 23 Jen bolts out of the frame. The guy chases her holding a blue-and-red T. Jen: [o.s.] Later. Guy: Or my Yankee shirt while you hold a bat? Or the Yankee shirt while you flex over a baseball? I have very diverse interests! Guy: [thought] I think she smiled at me! Panel 24 Tony is behind the bludgeoned, beaten Rick, holding him up, pinning his arms. Vinnie is laughing at him, slapping his hanging head. Vinnie: Ha! Look at the weak little loser! Can't fight loser? Panel 25 Jen, in a blur, dashes up into Rick's sweatshirt, and puts her arms in his sleeves. Jen: Yeah, I can fight LOSERS. Panel 26 Jen wrenches Rick's arm free, grabs his wrist, and slugs Vinnie across the chin with Rick's fist. Vinnie's head snaps horrendously and he leaves his feet. Jen: Just watch me! Panel 27 Jen reaches behind her, grabs Tony's head and pulls him over her head (and Rick's head) for an overhead slam onto the bleacher seats! Jen: OUCH! Now that's a grand slam! Panel 28 Vinnie landed sprawled in the bullpen, near the pitching machine. Woozy, he sees it and gets an idea. Vinnie: EEERRRGH! I'll kill that skank bitch! Panel 29 Vinnie at the pitching machine. He evilly pulls the "Pitch Speed" lever past "Softball", past "Serious Heat", to "Kill That Skank Bitch!" Panel 30 Vinnie aims the pitching machine at the stands, and fires baseballs at Jen like an Uzi. Vinnie: You thought you scored a hit? I makes it a SUICIDE SQUEEZE! Panel 31 Jen lifts up Rick's sweatshirt and pushes down her shorts to let the fiery balls hit her deep-cut, eight-pack abs. They make a sharp THIP! and gently bounce away. Jen: Oh, so you wanna play HARDBALL, huh? Panel 32 Jen takes a ball in her right hand, lets it drop down on her right bicep, POPS the bicep up, launching it over her and Rick's head (she ducks a little to let it pass), onto her left bicep, POPS the left bicep, then snatches the ball with her left hand. Jen: Well let's see if I can MUSCLE this up to ya! Panel 33 Jen fires the ball back to the pen with inhuman speed. Jen: TAKE THAT! Panel 34 The ball knocks Vinnie off his feet and into the pitching machine with a terrible crash. Panel 35 Now the battered, bloody Vinnie is trapped in the mangled machine, with his ass in the way of the pitching arm. It comes around repeatedly to spank him nastily. Vinnie cries. Jen [o.s.]: You're out! Ha ha! Panel 36 Later, as the day ends, Jen coos over a tottering, bruised, barely conscious Rick, whom she supports as they leave the stadium. Jen: You were so brave and strong beating up those bad men, sweetie. Rick: Oooh.. I don't remember beating. Jen: Of course you did! That pain in your fists is the bones you broke punching them! Panel 37 The two walk off into the sunset under the elevated tracks. In the foreground, that guy with the Yankee shirt calls after them hopefully. Rick: Oh. Boy I'm stupid. Jen: But a cute stupid. Guy: My Yankee shirt as you do pushups? My Yankee shirt as you bend steel bars? Rick: Why does my shirt smell like sweaty spinach? Jen: Shh! END