World of Warcraft- the Unfortunate Death Knight 
By Jeremy Wilson  Shaneomacfan3@yahoo.com 
When facing a level 1 Gnome Warrior, an overconfident  Orc gets what's coming to him  


*Author's Note: If you have never played World of Warcraft, you may not get
this story. Do some research on Wikipedia to understand the concepts, if you
want to. Hope you like, but if not, I can understand. Thanks.*

It all happened on what was supposed to be a raid to Ironforge, Merkchops went
ahead to scout, he was a level 85 Orc Death Knight. He was one of the
strongest guys in the raid team, his hp was 68,450 and he had a 8900 gear
score. He uses the best armor and weapons available on his level and also uses
some game cheats that make him extra powerful. He has never been less than at
least the 2nd highest scorer when it comes to dungeons and raids, and
frequently was the top damager and tank on these missions. If there was any
alliance on the road to Ironforge, you could bet that Merkchops was able to
take on as many as 3 or 4 lvl 85s at the same time, which makes it all the
more amazing of what transpired in this particular episode.

See, on the road to Ironforge, there was not a lot of traffic, but coming down
from the city gates, he spotted a pink haired female Gnome, with the armor of
a very low level warrior. He rode his mount slowly toward this solitary figure
with a smirk of superiority on his face.

"My, my what do we have here, a pretty little gnome, all alone. Move out of my
way, girl, I have business in Ironforge, and I don't have time to waste
talking to someone so far down below. I should run you through with my blade,
but it will hardly be worth the effort."

"Well, you certainly have a big mouth, don't you, Orc. You think you're so
big, what because you're level 85? I see your hit points, do you see mine?"

"Yeah, I do, level 1 warrior, 115 hp, 0 gear score. Pathetic! But you speak as
though you have a chance against me, that's so insane, it's laughable! Now
get, before I put you in your grave and camp your corpse until you quit."

"You're delusional, you think because I only have 115 hit points that I'm not
tough. You think because I have a 0 gear score that I have no way of competing
against you? Well bring it on, big man, because this level 1 is going to beat
your ass!"

"You're the one that's delusional, how could a level 85 possibly lose to a
level 1, it's never happened, that'd be like Mike Tyson losing a fight to a 6
year old kid!"

"So are we gonna talk or are we gonna fight? Don't tell me a big, old Death
Knight like you are scared of a little old gnome like me."

"Okay, you asked for it, but because I'm a noble Death Knight, I'll give you
the first shot. But don't be disappointed if you don't do any damage little
one, my dodge rating is 75%."

"Darn, I guess I won't be able to hit you with this then."

The little Gnome, who went by the name of Mingynas, pulled out a little club,
one you get very early in the game. This caused the Death Knight to break out
in hysterical laughter.

"That!?!? You're going to use a level 1 club to beat me? You have got to be
the craziest person I've ever met in this game! How do you expect that to
combat this?"

Merkchops pulls out a giant, jewel encrusted two hand sword that had the
enchantment of razor ice on it. He started doing swings and twirls with it, to
show off his expertise with it. Mingynas, of course, was nonplussed by
Merkchops demonstration. She knew what power she could wield with the little
club she had in her hand, and would only be too happy to show this arrogant
orc. Merkchops just put his hands out to his sides, giving Mingynas an open
show at him, which she took, swinging the club hard into his stomach. The
breath was blown out of his mouth, his tiny eyes as wide as anyone had ever
seen them as he felt something his stomach collapse in agony. Immediately he
knew what must have happened, when he had his eyes closed, someone of a higher
level must have snuck up on him and hit him, after all, no level 1 could've
possibly caused any damage to a level 85, right? But his wide eyes looked
around, and the only thing he could see for hundreds of feet was Mingynas'
smirking face.

"Did that hurt, you big oaf? Oh, look at your hp now, you're down to 66,430, I
brought you down 2020 points with one shot, and I wasn't even using a special
attack, that was just a basic strike with 20% of my attack power. But you felt
it, didn't you?"

"I know what you are now, you're a twink aren't you, you're so confident
because you beat a couple of people 20 levels higher than you with your
enhanced gear, so you think you can take someone like me down. Well guess
what? You won't beat me, for all your gear and your stats, you're still not up
to my power level."

"A twink? Oh no, no, no, I'm not a twink, see, a twink would have all
expensive gear and weapons left to them, as you can see, I'm starting out with
the basic gear and weapons of a warrior. What I am, is simply superior, I have
maxed out every stat in this game, you say that you're a tank, that you could
take on a dungeon mostly by yourself? Let me tell you a little something I've
done, you know the twilight highlands? I cleared it out by myself, using no
weapon other than my bare hands. You think you're tough, did you
single-handedly take on 25 level 83-85 enemies at the same time, survive each
and every one of their blows, and then take them out one at a time like they
weren't even resisting you?"

"No! That's impossible, no level 85 anything could possibly do that. And
you're trying to tell me that a mere level one could do that? You're making
this stuff up. Quit messing with me and leave, or I'll show you a thing or
two."

"Why don't you then? Attack me, I dare you! And don't hold back, hit me with
something special, because it'll be your only shot at trying to hurt me. Come
on, if you're as strong as you say, and I'm as weak as you say, then you
should one shot me like I'm a deer or bunny. What're you waiting for?
Scared... of a tiny little 2'9 50 pound gnome? Big orc, you are!"

Obviously this little gnome was confident that she could handle him, but of
course Merkchops was hearing all this talk and moment by moment he grew more
and more enraged until finally he could hold back no longer and hit Mingynas
with a blood strike. His eyes grew wide with shock as he noticed that the
attack had little or no effect and saw that his nemesis' hp was at 114, his
attack, which had been so effective against so many top level opponents,
bringing hits of over 2500 hp on level 85s took only 1 hp off this level 1
gnome! He got so frustrated that he lashed out again, but Mingynas stepped
aside, easily dodging the strike, she did so for the next 30 seconds, easily
moving out of the way for powerful blow after powerful blow. Merkchops decided
to use death and decay, but somehow Mingynas was immune to it's damage!

"No! This can't be possible! Hold still damn it! You're so fast, how the hell
did you get so fast! And you're so tough, how did the one thing that I landed,
that should've killed you in one shot, take only one hit point off? I've
beaten tons of enemies in one shot with that thing, and you looked like you
hardly felt it! What the heck is going on here? Are we in some alternate
universe? Where level 1 is the most powerful level?"

"Nope, this is still our universe, and a level 85 is usually the most powerful
level you can attain, and I'm talking about you, not me, because I don't have
to gain any levels, at 1, I am more powerful than anything in this game, if a
level 1 was allowed to go into the more advanced dungeons, I could take on the
most powerful bosses in this game all by myself. Do you want to know why? Do
you want to know the secret of my power?"

"Yes! Absolutely, please, tell me, show me how you got so tough, fast, strong.
Is it some abnormality, an anomaly?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes, when I was born, for some reason, my muscles
were far bigger, and denser than any Gnome that was ever born before. I
already had a six pack of abs when I came out of my mother's womb. I was also
uncommonly strong, and intelligent, I could walk at 5 months old, talk at 9
months old, and I killed my first level 1 Orc at 5 years old. At 5, I was 2'1
and weighed 25 pounds of muscle. I didn't even have a weapon, I broke his neck
with my superstrong fingers. I don't need this weapon, Orc, not to beat you,
not to beat anyone, I just carry it around for fun. Maybe it's to lull people
like you into a false sense of security. But you want to know how I can do the
things I do? Why don't I show you."

Mingynas started taking off parts of her outfit, her cape, her shoulder pads,
her tunic, her leggings until she was standing in front of Merkchops in
nothing but a 2 piece bikini. Mingynas' body was unlike anything Merkchops had
ever seen, and he had seen his fair share of buff female Orcs and Trolls, but
Mingynas had muscles that were huge for her frame, her traps reached halfway
up her neck, cresting below her ears by only about an inch and a half. Her
shoulders were at least 3 feet across, 3 inches wider than she was tall! She
didn't need shoulder pads, her shoulders looked harder than steel! Mingynas
flexed a double biceps pose in front of Merkchops that made his mouth open
even wider than it was. Her biceps were the size of a melon, which on her tiny
frame looked absolutely enormous! He could see why his shot to the stomach had
no effect on her, her proclamation of being born with a six pack was probably
not facetious, as her abs bristled with 10 separate chunks of muscle that look
like they could've deflected cannon fire with ease!

"I know what you're thinking, I can see it in your eyes, and believe me, I've
tried it, and they can. In fact, they can deflect pretty much every weapon
available in Azeroth. From the most powerful mace to the most powerful gun,
everything has had the same results, a flattened weapon and my abdominals in
a-ok shape. See, when I was born, my father thought I'd be a great find for
the Alliance, that with the right training, who knew, maybe one day I'd be the
greatest warrior that ever existed in the Alliance, greater than King Magni
Bronzebeard, greater than Andruin Wynn. From the time I was able to walk, we
worked on strength drills, toughening drills, quickening drills, dodging
drills, so when I stepped foot on the combat fields when I was old enough, I
could do what I did to you, what I did to the heathens in the Twilight
Highlands, defeat you utterly and convincingly."

"Well, you haven't defeated me yet, Gnome! Sure you may have all these big
muscles, but there is still a vulnerable part of you, your head is uncovered,
which is unwise, if I can slice it from off your muscular neck, then this
whole discussion is for naught."

"Well, I usually don't offer a second chance, but for you, I'll make an
exception, you deserve to be humiliated a little bit more, so come on, use
your mighty sword, take my head from off my shoulders, if you have the power.
But if you can't do it, guess what? I'm going to end this my way."

Mingynas stood with her hands on her hips, stretching her head and neck as
high as they would reach above her muscular shoulders and trap muscles. She
nodded to Merkchops to do it. He didn't need to be asked twice and took a
mighty horizontal swing aimed right at the middle of her neck. The mighty 2
handed sword made contact with something that was much harder than it was
designed to slash through and it's momentum was immediately stopped. Merkchops
drew the sword back with wide eyes, his hands shaking with the vibrations
looking back from the blunted blade of the sword and the unscathed flesh of
Mingynas' neck. Mingynas stuck out her finger and thumb and clutched the tip
of the vibrating sword with them, which caused it to stop shaking, but the
vibrations continued out the end of the sword and Merkchops himself began
shaking like he was in the middle of an Earthquake. Then Mingynas yanked the
whole thing out of his hand, finding little resistance because of his shock.

"What...what are you doing? My sword, you know what I went through to get
that?"

"Oh, don't worry about it, because, as of right now, you don't need it. You're
the one that's going to quit, Orc, you threatened me with beating me so bad
that I'd quit? Oh no, you're the one that's going to be quitting, little man.
But first, I want you to go back to that little raid group you were going to
take to try and conquer Ironforge, and I want you to tell them that Ironforge
and all Alliance territories are under the protection of Mingynas the
Invincible. Tell them if they don't want to incur my wrath, they should stay
in Horde territory, and if I get even a little hint that there's a huge mega
raid to try and stop me, I'll go to wherever you all are meeting and take you
all down all by myself. If you don't think I can do it, watch this!"

She took Merkchop's sword, which was made of the hardest metal known in
Azeroth, quintuple layered and known for it's toughness and near
invulnerability and she proceeded to bend it in half without any noticeable
effort on her part! Merkchops fell to his knees, his hands over his ears as
the deafening shriek of metal tore through his senses as his trusty sword was
rendered useless by the hands of a gnome, a gnome whose muscles had become 3
times more striated and veiny from the exertion on the sword.

"No way! How can you do that?!?! That sword weighed 270 pounds, it took all my
strength to wield it, it was made of obsidian and titanium, the hardest
materials in Azeroth! You'd have to have the strength of thousands to do that,
maybe hundreds of thousands!"

"Which is why it would be unwise for a force, no matter how big, to make an
attempt on Ironforge, tell them, tell your horde mates that, then again, maybe
you shouldn't, after all, it's been so long since I've had some good
entertainment around here. You know what, tell them that everything is okay,
and if they ask about your trusty sword, tell them that you found a better
weapon, a less elegant weapon, but if it was wielded by the right person, it
can be very effective."

"What weapon should I replace it with, then?"

"Why mine of course! Like I said, I don't need it, I can defeat any force with
my bare hands, and if I need a rock or tree, I can rip them out of the ground.
Here have my club, and go, go back to your horde teammates and tell them that
everything is completely fine."

"Yes, alright, I bow to your strength, and I will do as you ask. I apologize
for what I said to you earlier, I deserved to get my ass kicked. You taught me
a lesson, little one, I will never underestimate a lower level again."

"That's great, what is your name?"

"Merkchops, what's yours?"

"Mingynas, well Merkchops, it was a pleasure to meet you, and a great pleasure
to show you the error of your ways. You know, for an Orc, you're not half bad
looking, if you decide to join the Alliance, maybe we can hook up."

"Re...really? You're not joking?"

"Yeah, I mean it, you're in great shape, I like my men with muscles, even if
they're weaker than me, no one has bigger muscles in this game than an Orc. So
the offers out there. But first, you must go back to your horde mates and help
me humiliate them, if you do that, I'm all yours!"

"Oh Boy! You know I'll do just that, I'll be back in a couple minutes, they're
meeting up not far from here, in the Wetlands, we all got winged mounts, so
the flight there and back shouldn't take too long."

Mingynas blew a kiss to Merkchops and waved bye to him as he went. The
resulting war between 40 Horde members of every class, going from level 82 to
level 85 against the one level 1 Gnome Warrior was as one-sided a fight as
ever witnessed in the annuls of Azeroth. Mingynas was as good as her word, as
she took several horde at the same time, then picked up a tree and cleared out
a dozen more, sending them miles and miles away, she picked up a huge beach
ball sized rock that weighed 4 tons and bowled over 10 more. They never got
past her, as before they came she set up a wall of rocks in front of the
entrance to Ironforge, which only she, with her overwhelming strength, could
possibly put up or tear down. Her power was incredible, beating several level
85s with only one shot, while not a single one resisted for more than 3 shots
from any attack she launched on them. Within 5 minutes, it was all over,
bodies of horde warriors strewn all over the ground with Mingynas standing
tall (relatively) above them.

When the fight was over Merkchops came out of his hiding spot, his mouth open
at the destruction Mingynas had created, he was spell bound by the view of her
muscles, bigger than he's ever seen them as they pulsed with each breath she
took. She reached for him quickly, and he thought she was going to attack him,
but she pulled him down into a dip and kissed him full on the lips. He was
held in her arms quite easily, for minute after minute of the passionate
kissing, when she let him up for air, he was absolutely madly in love with
her. He knew he loved muscles, and strength was one of his absolute favorite
fetishes, with lift and carry being an offshoot of that. Well, very few orc
women had the strength to lift him for very long, so in Mingynas, he met his
dream woman.

And they lived happily ever after.