Grandma Kicks Ass! 
By Jeremy Wilson  shaneomacfan3@yahoo.com 
The new martial arts instructor is confronted by a student


*This story is intended firstly as a request by someone at the same place that
I wrote my last story, "What's a Boyfriend to Do?", for. That forum's address
is this: http://pgforum.freepowerboards.com/ If you enjoyed that story, this
story is much like it, though maybe even more violent and detailed. Like the
last story, this is one of 3 versions I will do of the story, one for
pgforums, one for Diana the Valkyrie, and one for the various other places at
which I post stories, so I hope that doesn't confuse all of you. Anyway, I
hope you enjoy this story, if not, I'm sorry, I'll go back to doing the kind
of stories you expect from me soon.*

My name is Brian Benjamin, I am a martial arts instructor at the local YMCA, I
specialize in mature women whose ages go from 58 to 70 years old, teaching
them the basics of Tae Kwon Do, usually they're fast learners, but I wouldn't
advise them to use their skills in the outside World, I tell them only to use
it as a last defense if they're approached aggressively, but they should not
use it in any other way. I need to tell them this because some people think
that knowing martial arts entitles them to pick on who they want, when they
want, how they want, but on average, these girls could get hurt if they meet
someone who has fighting skills and toughness that they're not ready for. I
had always thought that no girl, no matter how skilled, could defeat a person
that is much, much bigger than them, and also similarly skilled...that is,
until I met Jamie Keats.

Jamie is a 68 year old woman, who actually was absent the first two days that
I started teaching the class, she came in the third day in her gi, looking
very solid, and she also had an air of confidence, arrogance almost, like she
was too good to be there. She was also quite mouthy, I couldn't believe that
she was criticizing me and the way I was teaching her classmates. Me! I'm 27
years old, I'm 11 inches taller than her, at 5'9 and I weigh 170 pounds, okay,
maybe I am not a true martial artist, in fact, I'm just flying by the seat of
my pants, imitating what I have seen other people do in martial arts movies.
So, no, I'm not a black belt, I'm not even a green belt, I'm a fraud, but what
do these kids know? Still, this little old lady was irking me big time, she
was a shrimp, all of 4'10 and judging by her body in her gi, that was mostly
bulky fat But she had the temerity to say I was doing this pose wrong, and
that kick wrong, who was this little bitch? I had enough.

"Jamie! Will you please quiet down? I'm your instructor, I have been teaching
this discipline for 6 years, I know what I'm doing?"

She obviously wanted a confrontation with me, I couldn't understand why. "So
what you gonna do about it, teach? You think you got what it takes to shut my
mouth? Why don't you show me your technique, show me the right way to fight,
right now!"

I shook my head, "Absolutely not, I don't know what your problem is, but I
certainly will not ever touch a student of my class in that manner, if you
want to spar with someone, spar with one of your classmates, what about
Jessica, she's bigger than you, it could be a good match for you."

She scoffed at that suggestion. "Listen, pal, you're new here, so I'll fill
you in, none of these dames could possibly be a match for me, hell, even two
of these wimps together would get their asses kicked, you point out Jessica,
sure she's younger than me at 59, sure she's 5 inches taller and 30 pounds
heavier than me, but I could kick her ass so bad, she'd be spending months in
the hospital, hell, she already has, after I kicked her ass when I was 67. But
you, you're a grown man, you're an expert martial artist, you know all the
tricks, if I could take you down, that would be a real accomplishment. None of
these broads, in fact, no woman in the World, could make me feel good as a win
over an adult man, with martial arts experience ever could. So how about it?"

"Nothing doing, you obviously came in today to try and disrupt this class, so
see your way out of here, you're no longer wanted, as long as I'm the teacher
here, you will not be a student of mine."

"Bad choice, believe me, you haven't seen the last of me, not by a long shot."

She didn't leave, she went over to a stand where three 1 inch thick bricks
were stacked on top of each other, she never took her eyes off me, and with a
smirk, she broke the bricks with one powerful punch. Oh crap, I thought to
myself, that little old lady isn't playing around, she could kill me.

"Think you could do that, teach? Come on, show me what kind of martial arts
master you are."

"Jamie, please leave, you have disrupted this class enough, if I have to make
you leave, I will." I said, bluffing the whole way.

"Okay, sure, whatever, just be sure that this isn't the last we see of each
other. Bye wimps." She walked out with a confident smirk on her face.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding, then went back to the
lessons, doing my best to look as professional as I could, it's obvious Jamie
has seen through my ruse, but perhaps these girls are not as knowledgeable
about martial arts as Jamie seemed to be. An hour later, the lesson was over
and I told the girls to go home, I was probably as exhausted as they were, I
was sweating and tired. I was about to turn off the light and leave, when I
saw a shadow at the door, a very big, wide shadow.

"I told you I'd be back wimp, I see you didn't believe me. Now we're gonna
settle this."

"Jamie, Jamie, is that you?"

"Indeed, it is. I've been waiting for this, I wasn't at the first two classes,
but I saw the tapes, and knew from the start you weren't who you said you
were. Now, I'm going to give you a first class beating from a real martial
arts master."

I was scared, and I shakingly said. "Now Jamie, settle down a little, you can
turn me into the authorities, I'll quit my job here, I need the money, but no
so much that I would hurt a little old lady like you."

She laughed, "Hurt me? Hurt me!!!! You couldn't hurt a fly, you wimp. But me,
I can hurt full grown men, I do all the time. I specialize in liars, cheaters,
and stealers, and since you're all three, I'm going to really enjoy this."

It was about that time that she stepped into the light, this woman, all 4'10
of her was nothing but huge, ripped muscle, she wore nothing but a sports bra
that didn't nothing to hide her wide shoulders, her thick pecs, and of course,
her 8 pack abs.

"See, there's no way that you could hurt this body, I have built it into an
indestructible, undefeatable fighting machine, ever since I was 43 years old
and met my first mugger, I dedicated my whole life to nothing but getting
bigger, stronger, and learning as many fighting styles as I could, so when it
came time to meet a mugger or a criminal, that he would never know what hit
him. You know why I knew you were teaching the girls wrong? It's because I am
one of the oldest black belts in the World at 3 different disciplines, Aikido,
Jiu Jitsu, and Judo. I wanted to learn Tae Kwon Do to make myself an even
better fight, but it delighted me to find out that I would be using my skills
and my power to teach the instructor a lesson."

I was reduced to whimpering now. "Please, please don't hurt me, Jamie! I
promise, I'll turn myself in, I'll do whatever you want, just don't beat me
up, please?"

"What a wimp! If you were so manly that you could teach girls martial arts,
you should expect someone to challenge you eventually, but hey, I'll take it
easy on you, I won't kill you. But I'll beat your face so bad that your mother
won't recognize you. I think what you have done deserves a nice 5 month
layover in the critical care unit."

I got on my knees, I begged this 68 year old to let me be. "No! Come on,
whatever you want, I swear."

She smirked down at me "You're just in the right position, jackass."

With that she kicked out her leg into my chest, sending me across the room to
crash into a bunch of chairs, then she ran over and started punching me in the
stomach, the chest and the arms, it seems she was saving my face for something
special.

"Fight back! Come on, fight back you wimp, you're getting your ass kicked by a
68 year old grandma, I weigh 105 pounds, I saw from your profile that you
weigh 65 more pounds then me, you're almost a foot taller, you know how
embarrassing this is, what if your wife or girlfriend saw you like this, she'd
leave your sorry ass in a second."

"I...I don't have a girlfriend, I just moved here, I took this job because I
needed the money, I didn't think it would be hard, I'm sorry, let me go
please!"

"Oh no, I'm not letting you go yet, but I'll tell you what, I'll give you
three shots, anywhere you want except the face, if you can make me flinch,
I'll cut down on the damage I do you, I'll only make you spend 3 months in the
hospital."

She got off of me and stepped back, I stood unsteadily to my feet and decided
what I should do. If I ran, those powerful legs probably could catch me, if I
hit her in the face, it would probably just make her mad, but looking at the
muscles in her torso, there was no chance of hurting her. I knew what to do,
so I took a running start and did what I've seen all the wrestlers do, I gave
that 68 year old, 105 pound mature muscle girl a dropkick right in the chest.
What happened was completely unexpected to me, I was stopped in mid air as
though I hit a brick wall instead of a human being, though the hardness of her
body definitely made the comparison apt.

She didn't flinch, she didn't even blink, she just stood there with a smirk on
her face. She told me to bring it on, and my mind went to reeling, she did say
three hits, but she didn't say I only had to use my body. I searched around
and found an aluminum bat, I rushed over to it and picked it up, then brought
it back to her with a big smile on my face. But what I saw from her was
completely unexpected, she was smiling! It seems she may have planned this
out, I had to make this shot good. I swung at her abs like I was Prince F'n
Fielder, but all that happened was a clang, and my hands stung so much that
they dropped the bat immediately.

"Nice try, I thought you would try something like that, I'm glad you saw the
bat, I would have pointed it out to you, now what are you going to do for the
last shot?" She asked with a super confident air to her voice.

My mind was whirling with thoughts, what could I do, what if I just tried for
a shot at her head, hell, take her down with the bat to the head, even as
muscular and hard her body is, her head has to be vulnerable. I reached down
and got the bat, I took and good grip and with a loud hell, I struck at her
head with all the power I had left.

The bat never met it's target, it was stopped in mid air by her petite, though
thoroughly strong looking hand. She ticked her tongue and looked disappointed
at me.

"Didn't I tell you about the face? You stepped over the line Mr. Benjamin, I'm
sorry, but I'm really going to have to kick your ass even harder now. Let me
show you how effective this bat really is compared to this body."

She took the bat in both hands, and before my astonished eyes, this 68 year
old...ass kicking machine proceeded to bend the aluminum back into a U. Her
body bulged incredibly, like nothing I had ever seen before, and I have been a
fan of female muscle since I was very young. I've only seen muscles this size
up close on my computer screen, and most of those were morphs! Her pecs were
straining so hard that I could see every striation, I could see veins, I could
see the individual muscles much better than any anatomy chart I'd ever seen.
Her shoulders were bigger, more ripped, and actually had veins running over
them as well, but her biceps were the most impressive spectacle at all, they
were popping up so big, they put mine to shame, they had to be at least 16
inches around, she's bigger proportionally in the arm area than even the
awesome Renee Toney!

I dropped to my knees again, I was nearly crying from what I knew she could do
to me, she could probably bend me easier than the bat! I begged her, I pleaded
with her, I even debased myself so much that I kissed her feet, without her
even telling me to.

"You're pathetic, but...I guess you know your place, on the floor, at my feet,
willing to do whatever it takes to avoid my wrath, my daughter was right, that
feels really good, to know you're so much superior to a man. So, I'm going to
be calling you boy, not your name, because that's how someone addresses an
inferior, and you will call me ma'am, got it, boy?"

"Yes, ma'am, anything you need me to do for you?"

"No, well, maybe there is something. My legs need a little pump, I was hoping
to get them all worked out at the class, but I guess we know how that turned
out, so do you mind if I use you as a little weight for me to workout with?"

"Absolutely not, ma'am, please, use my body in whatever ways you want." I felt
so silly saying this to a 68 year old, but obviously, she was no normal 68
year old.

So she brought me up to my feet, and stuck her head underneath my arm, lifting
me on her shoulders in a fireman's carry. When she had my weight steady she
started doing squats, which seemed very, very easy for her. She finished after
doing 100 reps, then switched to doing one leg squats, showing perfect balance
and control, not even really struggling to do them really. She did 50 on each
leg, my 170 pounds not even making her try a little. Then she did calf raises,
first with both legs, then with each individual leg, not even straining with
my weight.

"You've been a nice little weight, boy, but really, you're so light, I'd have
to do 500 reps to get a good pump with you, at least for my lower body, maybe
you'll be of some use though."

With that she switched her grip to grabbing the waist band of my gi with one
hand and the collar of my gi with her other hand, I knew what was coming, but
I couldn't have fathomed how a woman her age could be this strong! She proved
me right, as she pressed my 170 pound body over her head with nary a grunt or
a sign of strain. She pumped me up and down 25 times before setting me down on
the ground.

"Not bad, not bad, that actually gave me a little workout, just one more lift
and I'll leave you alone, for now, at least."

She grabbed me by the gi again, this time with her hands closer in than they
were for the overhead lifts, she lifted me vertical, and stood up straight,
when her arms were at full length and I was down to her mid-thigh, she amazed
me once again with her seemingly superhuman strength! She curled me! The
mature muscle gal only weighs 105 pounds, but she's curling 70 pounds more
than she weighs! Of course she didn't pump me up and down like I was nothing,
she managed a very respectable 8 repetitions before she finally set me down.

"Now, you've been a good boy, so I don't have to discipline you any further,
but if I ever hear that you've been duping people out of their hard earned
money again, I'll come find you and make the beating I gave you look like a
powder puff football game. Got it boy?"

"Yes, ma'am, completely, but what should I do for money?"

"Haha! Why don't you try being a professional living punching bag, looks to me
that you've got the qualifications for it. It doesn't matter to me what you
do, as long as it's legal. You're smart, you'll find something. Just nothing
illegal, or I'll find you."

"Yes, ma'am, good bye."

"I'll see you, wimp, don't forget what I said."

I watched her walk out the door, and was slightly disappointed, if it wasn't
for the fact that the woman was 68 years old, 41 years older than me, she was
perfect for me, strong, muscular, dominant. I wonder if she's married?

The End