A Complete Mismatch
By Jeremy Wilson  shaneomacfan3@yahoo.com
A Terribly overmatched opponent but which one? 


*This is a story about a professional wrestling match, for the purposes of
this story, just imagine that pro wrestling isn't choreographed, that the hits
are completely real, and that wrestling is completely real. Of course, this is
fantasy, so think whatever you like about wrestling in real life, in this
fictional universe, wrestling is real. I hope you enjoy it, and don't forget,
I'm doing commissions, so if you have a fantasy that you would like to see
done, just email me and we can work out a reasonable offer. The Big Show,
Jerry the King Lawler, Michael Cole, Scott Armstrong, John Cena, Beth Phoenix
and Justin Leonard are all members of the roster of the WWE, and Monday Night
Raw is the property of the WWE.*

The announcers

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back to a special edition of Monday Night Raw,
we have a special challenge match now, a mixed wrestling match between the
largest athlete on the planet, the Big Show and a debuting Diva, who goes by
the name of Dottie Keiaho, what do you know about Dottie, King, its your
area?"

"Well, let me tell you something, Michael Cole, I don't know anything about
Dottie, she has refused to be interviewed before this match, in fact, no one
really knows what she looks like or anything about her, she's wanted to keep
everything about her secret until she debuts. I'm guessing by her last name
that she's Hawaiian, but that's all I can guess."

"Well its about time for her debut, let's go to our announcer, Justin
Leonard."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the largest athlete in the World, weighing in at 488
pounds, here is the Big Show!"

The Big Show makes his way down to the ring, looking smug, but at the same
time enraged. He looks at the camera and growls, "This new girl is gonna get
killed in the ring, I'm not showing her any mercy!"

"And his opponent..."

Justin goes to the time keeper, looking confused, he nods his head and goes
back to announcing.

"She hails from Honolulu, Hawaii and weighs in at 105 pounds, making her WWE
debut, Dottie Keiaho!"

Big Show's jaw drops open at the sound of his opponents weight, he weighs well
over 4 and a half times her weight, who could this be that she could attempt
to challenge him?

He is surprised to find a very short, demure looking woman coming out in a
kimono type robe. She probably is 5 feet tall at the most, and the weight,
perhaps 105 pounds was a bit generous, as she didn't seem to have any size to
her body at all. She gets in the ring, and goes to the corner, she jumps up to
the second rope with surprising agility and grace and blows kisses to the
crowd, she does this to all 4 corners to smattered applause. The crowd was
just as surprised as the rest of the people out there. It takes several
seconds for Jerry "the King" Lawler and Michael Cole, the vaunted and nearly
unshakable announcers of Monday Night Raw to regain their composure,
especially when Dottie takes off her robe.

The Match

Dottie's body is a miracle of female perfection, she has a tight, muscular
body, which she shows in a halter sports top and a pair of spandex shorts. She
isn't anywhere near bodybuilder size, more like an Olympic gymnast, but her
stomach clearly shows 8 separated bricks, her arms sinewy with a vein the size
of a pencil running over the top. Her breasts probably filled a D cup to
overflowing, thanks mostly to the fact that her pecs were so well developed
and held her soft ball sized orbs up and perky. Her bubble butt was very
visible in the tight shorts, and her thighs were quite big and ripped
themselves. Her body showed promise, it showed power, but in no way did it
show the kind of power that she would have needed to defeat someone that
weighed 383 pounds more than her and was 2 feet taller than she was.

"Referee Scott Armstrong signals for the bell. This has got to be the biggest
mismatch I have ever seen, and I've been involved in the WWE for nearly 15
years, King, what about you?"

"I don't know, I've been in this thing twice as long as you, and I've seen
some big mismatches, but nothing quite like this. You could fit 4 of her into
one of him!"

After the bell rang, it was obvious that two things were true, Dottie was much
faster on her feet, and much more agile. She avoided the Big Show's huge
punches, which could have taken most people's heads off. Second, it seems that
Dottie's kicks actually hurt the Big Show's legs, as each time he missed with
a punch, she moved in a kicked his thighs. After a while, his legs were black
and blue and he hobbled around. Now it was Dottie's time to take control, she
went to the ropes like a blur and came off hitting Big Show's leg just above
the knee, this brought Big Show down to his hands and knees, Dottie then
dropkicked Big Show in the head and covered him.

"1...2. Big Show threw Dottie off of him like she was a lawn dart, she went 4
feet in the air there, luckily she landed on her feet."

"Wow, I'm actually really surprised, it looks as though Dottie is an expert in
karate or kickboxing, she looks faster than any wrestler I've ever seen. She
seems to be full of surprises." Little did he know.

Dottie climbed quickly to the top rope, hoping to find Big Show still
disorientated. But she was wrong as she flew off in a cross body block he
caught her like she weighed little more than a pillow. He had the same
confident smirk on his face as he did very early in the match. He slammed her
down, but to his amazement, she sprung right back up, like the fall from 6
feet didn't affect her at all. She got up to stand face to chest with him and
attempted to slam him.

The fans at ringside rang out in laughter, as did the King, Michael Cole, and
most especially the Big Show at the sight of a little girl, only 100 pounds
soak and wet trying to pick up a man who weighed nearly 500 pounds himself.
That was, until Big Show's feet started rising from the ground. The sound of
laughter was replaced with multiple sounds, mostly screaming, shouting, and
cheering as this incredible little Amazon hoisted almost 5 times her weight on
her shoulder and slammed him down on the mat.

"Oh my god, King! Did I just see what I thought I saw, that is without doubt,
the biggest feat of strength I've ever seen in a wrestling ring, Dottie Keiaho
just slammed the Big Show, and it almost looked easy for her!"

"Listen, I've seen John Cena lift Big Show up and give him the Attitude
adjustment, but that pails in comparison, John Cena is a muscular, 250 pound
man, Dottie Keiaho is obviously muscular and in shape, but the power it takes
to do what she did is extraordinary, I don't mean to be derogatory here, but
Dottie Keiaho must freakishly strong!"

At this point, Dottie took some time out to flex for the crowd, and her
muscles grew impressively, her double bicep pose brought the house down,
showing peaks the size of tennis balls, with shoulders the size of casaba
melons.

"Whoa, Beth Phoenix, eat your heart out!"

The next few minutes were as awkward to describe as they were to watch, anyone
watching at home would remember it their whole lives. Little Dottie was having
fun showing her power and muscles, which she did, first putting Big Show over
her shoulder and doing a running powerslam that would have made Davey Boy
Smith proud. Then overhead pressing Big Show's near 500 pounds, this took a
real effort by Dottie as it showed greatly on her face, holding him up there
for several seconds before dropping his body to the mat below. Finally, when
Dottie grew tired of her dominance, she picked Big Show up in a suplex and
jack-hammered him down to the mat with such force that the ring shook. She
pinned him with one finger on his chest.

"1...2....3!!!"

"The winner of this match, Dottie Keiaho!"

The Interview

"We have got to get an interview with this new sensational Diva, Dottie
Keiaho. Dottie can we have a word?"

"Of course, Michael, its very nice to meet you." Dottie says as she flashes an
unbelievably bright white smile.

"Well, what we saw out here tonight was incredible could you tell me a little
about your background, and exactly how you were able to do what you did to the
Big Show tonight?"

"Absolutely, I'm 23 years old, I was born in Honolulu, and from the very
start, my parents said I was always a busy body. Walking at 8 months, running
at a year, and doing gymnastics at 2 years old. I've always been a fast gainer
as far as strength goes, mummy couldn't believe it, the first time I got in a
scrape with an older boy, he was 9 and I was 6, and I kicked his ass! I
studied martial arts starting when I was 8 years old, and I achieved my first
black belt when I was 15 years old. Between the gymnastics training and the
tae kwon do, my body became very firm and strong, but I also joined a gym soon
after my 18th birthday and began to gain an even greater degree of strength
than even I thought possible."

"Obviously you showed that today, you did things to the Big Show that not even
the huge Mark Henry could, you completely dominated him. I've never seen
anything like that."

"Oh that? I was sort of taking it easy on him, I probably could have taken two
of him at the same time, I didn't really even have to use my martial arts
skills, just straight power."

"Well, those shows of power were incredible to witness, especially from
someone your size, how strong are you, really?"

"To be honest, I would like to keep that as a secret, to me, power is only one
way to defeat an opponent, I don't want to reveal all my secrets just yet and
not everybody is going to be as weak as the Big Show."

"Weak?!?! The Big Show is perhaps the strongest man on the whole roster of the
WWE, the feats of strength the man is capable of is incredible. But then
again, seeing him thrown around by such a small woman pretty much throws the
word incredible out the window."

"Well, he didn't seem very strong to me, of course I didn't really get to feel
much of what he could do, like I said, you put two of him in the ring with me,
I could probably do the same thing."

Just then the Big Show snuck up behind Dottie, he put his hand on her shoulder
and spun her around, then gave her a big uppercut to the stomach. A crunch
could be heard around the immediate area. But to everyone's amazement, Dottie
was unhurt, she was even smiling, looking at Big Show's face as he cradled his
enormous, catcher's mitt of a broken hand.

Big Show stammered, "What the hell are you?"

"I'm Dottie Keiaho, the Hawaiian Muscle Machine, and I plan on taking over the
whole WWE. Let me show you how a punch is supposed to be thrown!"

With that, Dottie swung her tiny fist into Big Show's huge stomach, almost so
fast for people to see. What happened was incredible, the impact caused Big
Show's feet to leave the floor, he fell to his hands and knees and wretched
all over the floor.

"Oh, sorry about that, I probably should have used less than 30% of my
punching power, I guess I was a bit excited, being on the big stage. Well,
that should show you I mean business."

"I don't think there's any doubt about that, but what are your immediate plans
in the WWE?"

"Oh, I don't know, the tag team titles look pretty good, I don't even need a
partner if they're as wimpy as the Big Slow over here. No one person can hope
to compete against me, let them try."

A couple days after that, the chairman of the WWE, Vince McMahon put out a
statement that said Dottie Keiaho would not be signed to a WWE contract, and
that her appearance on WWE Monday Night Raw was a one time deal and she would
not be invited back.

Aftermath

Dottie sat down at her breakfast table and sighed after reading Mr. McMahon's
statement. "Oh well, there goes one dream, I wonder if I can get an NFL
tryout?"

The End?