The She-devil vs Big Sister By C James Those fun-lovin' hillbilly brothers, Cletis and Jeb, were in a dither to get on home and report the "doins" down at the fairgrounds. Along with the usual carnival rides, chicken-eating geek and assorted human mutations, there was a special attraction. But big sister Eva hadn't shined to the notion of attending the annual Pocahontas County Fair. Especially since there were such a backlog of chores around the farm. And in truth, Eva didn't cotton to her irresponsible brothers slackin' on their chores and runnin' off to see some plumb foolishness. Leaving her behind to tend to the firewood choppin', the feedin' of the livestock, and the weedin' of the family garden. As for her reprobate brothers, they'd gotten much more for their money then they'd reckoned when fearless brother Jeb took a serious drubbing at the hands of the nearly fatal sideshow attraction. They spent over a dollar a head just to get a gander at the carnival's most sensational and exotic attraction ever. THE AFRICAN SHE-DEVIL. Billed as a "savage nigra from the Congo," this She-Devil turned out to be first-rate. A veritable passle of hillbilly farmers clambered and crowded under the sideshow tent to catch a glimpse of this "wild nigra woman." Caged like jungle beast, the huge black woman was wheeled into the makeshift arena on a cart while men dressed like "great white hunters" in safari hats and khaki shorts cracked their long black-snake whips in the air. The She-Devil's face was streaked with red and blue grease paint and her hair was a massive thicket of black knots. She was the perfect stereo- type of African savagery, right down to the ragged tiger-striped outfit that barely concealed her breasts and pelvis. Unleashed from the confines of her cage, the She-Devil pandered to the mostly male audience as she snarled and gestured wildly before bounding into the roped ring. Jeb and Cletis sat bug-eyed as they watched the wild woman pace the ring like a jungle cat. "She shore enough is a bigun," Cletis remarked. "You ain't a kiddin," echoed Jeb. Then one of the "white hunters" grabbed a megaphone and bellowed a sensational introduction. "WELCOME TO THE LAIR OF THE AFRICAN SHE-DEVIL. Hailing from the uncharted depths of the dark continent, the She-Devil is no ordinary woman as you can plainly see. Indeed not. SHE IS A KILLER BEAST, UNTAMED BY MAN OR WOMAN. However, the She- Devil is now accepting all challenges from man, woman or beast. Anyone courageous enough to face her awesome power will have the opportunity to win a $100 cash prize. But only if THEY CAN DEFEAT THE SHE-DEVIL IN A NO-HOLDS BARRED FIGHT TO THE F IN I SH . " Cletis glanced over at brother Jeb who appeared to be sizing~up the black Amazon. Cletis shook his scraggly head dubiously. "You ain't thinkin' 'bout takin' that there thang on are ya?" "Why the hell not? She ain't no bigger than Eva and I rassle with her all the damn time." "What're you talkin' 'bout7 She may not be no taller, but she's gotta have near thirty pounds on Eva." "So what?" And Jeb paused to spit some tobacco juice onto the dirt floor. "I'll betcha Eva could give her a reglar ass- whuppin'." "Then let Eva fight her. You ain't got no business goin' against someone as big as that She-Devil." But brother Jeb wasn't heeding the wise counsel of his older brother. "Lissen here, that there She-Devil don't scare me none. And you know what they sez. Iffin you can't run with the big dogs, you best stay on the porch." And with that bit of rural wit, Jeb kicked off his shoes and headed on down toward the ring . The "white hunters" were about to cancel the show, as no takers appeared willing to face their prize specimen. That is, until they spotted Jeb prancing down the aisle rousing the locals with "YIPS" and "YAHOOS." The "white hunters" exchanged amused glances as they watched Jeb slide beneath and ring ropes and begin hopping about on one leg and than the other. "JUS' GETTIN' WARMED UP," he shouted. But the restless She-Devil had absolutely no intention of waiting for Jeb to ready himself. Instead, she raced over and wrapped the helpless hillbilly into a rib-bustin' bearhug. Then, she carried him kicking and screaming into the corner where she slammed him into the ringpost. Woozy from the jarring impact, Jeb slumped to the canvas whereupon the devil served up a smorgasboard of assorted stomps to his head and chest. Jeb's body quivered with every kick, but the She-Devil showed no mercy. Hauling him back to his feet, the wild woman propped him against the ringpost before repeatedly ramming her huge black thigh and knee into his belly. The rickety ring shook with the pulverizing power of her assault. Then, as the hammered hillbilly crumpled forward, she hoisted him across her broad shoulders. The She-Devil whirled him round and round before sending him down to the mushy canvas. The bodyslam left Jeb moaning on his back as the She-Devil loomed above. growling and snorting. Brother Cletis had seen quite enough, and for an instant, considered rushing to the rescue, but the implacable She-Devil was not to be stayed. Circling around her prey, the She-Devil suddenly leaped into the air and splashed her body down across the prone hill- billyts chest. Now, Cletis hoped, she would simply pin Jeb's shoulders and bring the ugly beating to an end. But while Cletis looked on in horror, the She-Devil scooped Jeb off the mat and into her massively muscled arms. From long hours of watching the "rassles" on TV, Cletis instantly recognized the hold. It was the dreaded sleeper. Jeb thrashed about desperately as he sought to extricate his neck from the numbing effect of the sleeper. But the black woman's irresistibly strong arms were rocking him to sleep. And as Jeb's resistance quickly ebbed, the "white hunters" finally saw fit to invade the ring and restrain their devil. Then, while Cletis and the rest of the crowd sat in stunned silence, the She-Devil mocked and cajoled them by placing a bare foot on Jeb's chest and daring anyone present to take up the challenge. But alas, on this day, there were no takers. Big sister Eva was busy tending the pokeweed patch when she saw Cletis helping his hobbling brother up the dirt road which led to the family's ramshackle farmhouse. As Eva stopped her hoeing and stood fully erect in the dusky sun, her striking physicality became all the more imposing. Easily the tallest woman in all of Pocahontas County, Eva could have been mistaken for one of Wagner's Valkyrie warriors. Tanned to a chestnut brown in the summer's sun, the powerfully built blonde cupped a hand above a piercing blue eye and squinted in the direction of her shambling brothers. Her lips suddenly curled in irritation as she reflected upon all the chores she'd been saddled with since the untimely departure of her brothers. Eva's cascading blonde hair shook with anger as she shouted at them. "You boys best keep yer distance. I ain't in no mood to be seein' you right now." Realizing the seriousness of her tone, the errant brothers came to a standstill. But Cletis, being the more clever of the two, summoned the nerve to shout back. "Darn it, Eva. You couldda come with us. 'Sides, Jeb here is all busted up." And Cletis turned to his brother and winked. "That ain't no concern c' mine." But Cletis detected some underlying concern in her reply. "Lissen Eva, Jeb's a hurtin' real bad. You gotta help me git 'em to the house." Whereupon, Jeb commenced to throw himself down in the middle of the road and commenced to yelp like a hog stuck in barbwire. And although she remained skeptical of her brother's theatrics, Eva cast her hoe aside and ran down the road to assist him. "You best not be a fakin'," Eva warned as she leaned over Jeb. "I swear I ain't," ieb moaned. "It's my neck. That damned she-devil was a fixin' to rip it clean off my shoulders." Eva's expression was one of curious astonishment. "SHE-DEVIL? Jus' who the hell is this . . . this she-devil?" "You tell 'er Cletis. It hurts awful bad when 1 talk." Cletis squirmed uneasily as he faced his BIG sister whose six- foot-three frame towered over him waiting for a believable answer. "Well, you know how them carnival's is. Goofy freaks and all anyways me and Jeb went to see this here she- devil. Swear to God that's what they called 'er anyways . . . " "Wouldya mine gettin' to the point?" insisted Eva. "Shore so this she-devil's sposed to be some kinda wild animul from over in Afriker somewhere's. And they sez that they'll pay a hunnert dollars to anyone who beats this big tole wild woman in a real fight." Unable to control her amusement any longer, Eva looked down at Jeb and laughed heartily. "Are you tellin' me that you got yer neck all outta joint by fightin' some woman?" Jeb nodded sadly. "What that's the craziest dern thang I ever heared," guffawed Eva. "But if yer lookin' fer pity, you won't get none from me. You got jus' what you deserved." "And 1 ain't askin' for no pity neither," Jeb spat back. "Good," she said as she reached down and took him by the collar. "Now, get yerself right you lazy faker. You ain't hurt near as bad as you say." Jeb squawked in very real pain as Eva jerked him from the ground. " I gotsta real notion to whup yer ass fer real," threatened Eva as she dangled Jeb in the air. But before she could act on her threat, Cletis quickly interjected. "You otter be ashamed of yerself, Eva." Shocked, Eva dropped her brother back to earth. "Whattaryou talkin' 'bout?" "I'm talkin' 'bout you lettin' some sideshow freak beat the stuffin' outter yer own kin." "Why should I care ifin Jeb gets hisself beatup fer not hi n ' ? " "That's jus' it. He got hisself beatup fer nothin'. And you and I both know that you could whup that 'ole she-devil an collect that money fer yer-,elf." Now he had Eva's attention. "Money?" "Yeah . . . they'll give ya a hunnert dollars fer whuppin her. " "Well, jus' cuz I can whup her don't mean I's willin' to make a jackass outta myself for a hunnert dollars." "Then how's about we sweetin' the pot? Me and Jeb'll give ya an exter hunnert IF you can beat that she-devil." "Whattayou mean IF? Course I could. 1 can whup anyone in the damn county and 1 could grind that she-devil to a snivelin' pulp too." liso, then do we gots ourselves a deal?" Eva hesitated for a moment as she took a swipe at her hair, batting it out of her face. "Jus' tell me one thing. How big's this she-devil anyways?" "She's a monster fer shore, but you got maybe a half-foot on 'er. Plus, you gotsta be lots quicker cuz she must weigh at least two-hunnert pouns." "Huh," mused Eva as she weighed the facts. "That ain't too big fer me. So I spot her twenny pouns. It won't make no diference oncet I git her down." "That's right," Jeb chimed in. "I member the last time we rassled. You darn near cut me in two with that scissor hold 0 1 yers . 11 Eva smirked. "An I']] do the same to that she-devil. She ain't never been squeezed by no legs like mine." And Eva commenced to flex her incredibly muscular thighs and calves to the delight of her brothers who now were confident that she'd go through with it. "One thing though, you best watch out fer them arms 'o hers. She sure do have some strong arms. Hell, she nearly caved in my ribs with that bearhug." "Don't you be worryin, lil' brother. These here arms ain't exactly made 'o spugetti," Eva said as she brought her long, sinewy arms into an impressive flex. So, thus it came to be. The stage was set for the climactic confrontation between Eva and the She-Devil. The final Saturday of August was traditionally the last day of the Pocahontas County Fair. And Eva spent her time physically preparing herself for that momentous. For that was the day she planned to prove herself not only to Pocahontas County but to the continent of Afriker as well. During those days preceding her encounter, her brothers were both pleased and relieved when she insisted on doing the heaviest physical chores alone. And word of Eva's intentions spread like topsy through the hills and hollers. So. on that last Saturday night in August, a crush of tobacco-chewin', overall wearin', hillbilly farmers lent their moral support by crowding their way into the tiny tent that housed the fair's most fearsome attraction. Settling into uncomfortable wooden benches, they hooted and hollered for the hated She-Devil to show herself. Their wait wasn't to be long as the lights suddenly dimmed and the entourage of "white hunters" wheeled the wild-woman of Afriker into view from the wings of the tent. In characteristic rage, the She-Devil shook the bars of her steel cage and grimaced hideously. As instructed, Eva was already in the ring as the She-Devil made her entrance. Now, the black savage eyed the blonde warrior in her tight denim cutoffs and scanty halter. And the She-Devil reacted with a truly demonic screech as she strained at the steel bars of her cage. "Good for you, young lady," giggled the greatest of the "white hunters" as he prepared to release the She-Devil from her cage. "AND NOW LADIES AND GENTLEMEN . . . LET THE CONTEST BEGIN." And with that, the snarling She-Devil emerged from behind the sliding barred door. A blur of blonde and black collided in the center of the ring as Jeb and Cletis poised themselves on the edge of their seats. But when the initial blur sharpened into focus, it was the crafty She-Devil who took command, whipping Eva to the mat by her golden braids. Then, as Eva attempted to regain her feet, she was greeted by a barrage of kicks, punches and knees to her head, back and stomach. Disoriented by the ferocity of the She-Devil's attack, Eva tried to roll away from the onslaught, but as she rolled to her back she absorbed several barefooted stomps to the belly which left her shuddering on the mat. The She-Devil then turned toward the crowd, leering and flexing her huge black biceps. A chorus of profanity resounded through the tiny tent. However, the She-Devil's posturing also allowed Eva time enough to stagger back to her feet. But the hillbilly girl wasn't out of the woods by a long shot as the She-Devil seized the lanky ]ass and hugged her off her feet. Her enormous arms resembled black pythons as they encircled Eva's waist, crushing the breath from her lungs. As the seconds ticked past, Eva strained mightily against the black Amazon's arms and shoulders. She had to break the bearhug or be squeezed into oblivion. Finally, something clicked in Eva's frantic mind. Due to Eva's extraordinary height, the She-Devil was having some difficulty in keeping the long blonde's feet from touching down on the canvas. If only she could anchor her feet long enough to . . .and Eva did . . springing off her toes, she managed to swing her legs up and around the She- Devil's ribcage. Suddenly, the tide of the tussle turned as Eva crossed her ankles, locking her thunderous thighs tightly around the She-Devil's middle. Almost instantly, Eva felt the power of the bearhug weaken as her bodyscissors sapped the She-Devil's strength. Pressing her newfound advantage, Eva trapped the head of the She-Devil in her wiry-strong arms while her thighs continued their relentless squeeze. The She-Devil emitted a low moan of distress as Eva looked her right in the eye and smiled. Suddenly, the She-Devil took on the appearance of an oversized black spider caught in Eva's white web of human limbs. Wilting like an African Violet in Antarctica, the She-Devil soon found herself flat on her back with Eva's lethal legs still wrapped around her. Gasping and sputtering, she tried raising herself off the mat only to have Eva's bulging hamstrings bring her back down. Then, inexplicably, Eva released the scissors and granted the She-Devil an unexpected reprieve. But the She-Devil could only lie on her back, breathless and exhausted. And that's when Eva decided to dish out some dirty punishment of her own. While Cletis and Jeb joined the rest of the crowd in demanding the She-Devil's total humiliation, Eva unleashed some devilish stomps of her own as the She-Devil curled herself into a protective ball. The hill folk went wild as Eva did a Watusi dance number on the She-Devil's head and body. But Eva wasn't in any particular hurry to dispatch this devil to hell as she dragged her by her dreadful locks and yanked her to her feet. Then. with perfect precision, she neatly flipped the devil over her shoulder with a flying-mare and a lot of hair. Time and time again, the flimsy ring shuddered as Eva sent the black devil crashing into the canvas by the roots of her tangled hair. Eva was really humming now as she backed the dazed devil into a corner and chopped away at her neck and throat with a withering array of open-handed slashes. Then the hillbilly lass went to work downstairs with a heaping helping of flesh-pounding punches to the devil's belly. Then, imitating all them TV rasslers she'd seen on the tube, Eva grabbed the groggy She-Devil by the arm and swung her into the bouncy ring ropes with an Irish-Whip. What Eva did next seemed to be almost natural as she soared high into the air like a long-legged goose and landed a perfectly accurate flying dropkick right on the She-Devil's kisser as the latter came bouncing back to the center of the ring. And the big black devil went down hard like a sack of soggy turnips. Incredibly enough, the She-Devil weathered the dropkick and rose to her feet, her reflexes resembling those of a Haitian zombie. So, Eva reckoned that if a single dropkick could put the devil on queer street, then perhaps a double-dose of her barefooted blasts would put the stubborn devil down for good. So. once more, Eva whipped the dazed devil into the ropes and waited for her to come reeling back. Shore enough. When the dopey 'ole She-Devil stumbled back within range, Eva turned away from her, went down in a crouch, and then came shooting back up with a spectacular handspring. Lashing out with both feet, the barefoot blonde landed a devastating Mule-Wallop smack- dab on the devil's gaping jaw. Airborne, the flying She-Devil sailed miserably over the top strand of rope and sprawled into the lap of a horrified llwhite hunter." "THAT'S ENOUGH . . . WE CALL THE MATCH," he screamed. Then he tossed a wad of "hunnert" dollar bills into the ring where a delighted Eva promptly picked up the glorious prize. Meanwhile. the thoroughly demolished She-Devil lay draped across the knee of the "white hunter" and looked for all the world like a naughtly little girl on the verge of a spanking. Fact is, she'd already received the "ass-whuppin" of a lifetime. As Eva counted the bills just to make certain she hadn't been cheated. she was mobbed by a jubilant throng of hillbilly faithful who jammed the ring along with her overjoyed brothers. When they asked, "how she done it," Eva smiled her most modest smile. "Weren't nothin' to it," she drawled. "All you gotsta to do to beat the devil is to 'member how to kick like a mule.11