'00 Canadian Nationals, a -jabber review...
By -jabber
Canadian Politics, what's that all aboot?

Preamble:

I'd slacked off writing reviews for 3 reasons (the last full review I wrote
was the '00 Emerald Cup in Seattle over Easter Weekend): 1) I got
horrendously busy after the Emerald Cup so the review memories became
distant to me, 2) in the United States, with a couple shows, especially the
'00 Jr. Nationals in Houston, the judging was SO horrendous, I'd get
aggravated just making my review a bitch and complain rant, and 3) the other
shows, if I wrote them now, they'd be untimely.

But the Canadian Nationals?  Ah, that deserves a review...  As soon as I
heard this year's Canadian Nationals would be held in my favorite Canadian
city of Calgary (I needed a good excuse to visit again :-) ), heck, I'm
there.  I'd never seen a bodybuilding event in Canada before, and as a
disclaimer, I'm gonna write some opinionated stuff here, these are all MY
opinions, I'm not an "insider" to Canadian Politics (if there's such a
thing), nor did I get any of this info from judges, promoters, or even other
competitors.

The views are my own (except where noted), what I observed, concluded, and
with a lot of the "what ifs", we'll never really know.

Soon as I arrived at the Host Hotel (The Coast Plaza), and saw an off-season
tall pretty blonde with large implants (but authoritative back and
shoulders) showing off in a sun dress, I knew I was in the right place.
Although it had been about 10 months since I'd been in Calgary, it felt like
yesterday, I was psyched, if only it was a bit less overcast that whole
weekend (we won't even talk about me missing my flight and arriving a day
later than planned).

Overall Atmosphere:

Before I get down to the nitty gritty - of talking about the placings, let
me just say, the Jack Singer Concert Hall, and to me, Calgary's downtown in
general, is classy.  I just liked the place.  It seemed a bit more
sophisticated than some shows in the States, more like a "show" with
intermission, even during the prejudging (Ladies and Gentleman, the show
will commence in 5 minutes).  However, the attendance was pretty poor
overall.  Although $116 CAD wasn't THAT expensive for the best price show
tickets for the premier (read most expensive) amateur show in Canada (it
included both prejudging AND finals - a bit unusual), it IS expensive
entertainment, that's for sure.

There were a couple (to borrow a phrase from Tre') mega-hotties, or in my
words VERY notable physiques in the audience, to me the MOST notable were
Canadian Pro Desiree' Ellis, who graced us with 3 different sexy outfits
throughout the day - she dressed up for the prejudging, too (like most
attractive women do for the finals only).  I kidded her around about it,
stating she was just showing off.  2nd outfit at the finals, 3rd outfit at
the banquet (or maybe she just wore 2 outfits that day - hell, I can't
"always" think straight :-) ).  Yes, all outfits showed her abs; she was in
phenomenal condition for being off-season, IMO.

In a more "sedate" but VERY eye-catching one-piece dress was the very
off-season but superbly built mondo-attractive thick Sophie Duquette, last
year's Canadian Nationals winner.  I'd heard it purported that she doesn't
plan on competing in the Pro ranks (correct me if I'm wrong, don't Amateurs
gone Pro usually do? :-) ), plus I can't recall seeing a pic of her in
contest shape, but her appearance on 9/2/00 was fetching.

Junior:

In Canada, their "Junior" division just means younger - not necessarily
looking younger. :-)  Only one female competitor in the "teen" division, I
was hopeful until she walked out on stage.  Unfortunately (sorry to sound
derogatory here), Christina Goldring was a short-haired blonde girl, 18, who
probably would've needed to show less proof of her age if entering the
Master's division compared to the Junior's division.  It looked like she was
in a dieting contest, not a bodybuilding contest, I took a couple sympathy
pics of this "bag of bones" on stage but secretly hoped, cad that I am, the
women would get a little more "ahemattractiveahem" - and WHOA they did.

Masters:

They had a Masters division, but unfortunately my notes are literally
unreadable here - sorry. :-)

Lightweight:

Okay, after the less-than-attractive Juniors division, the Lightweight was a
bit better.  BTW, I'm ALL for judging/rewarding the BEST FBB, NOT the most
attractive FBB (something some guidelines seem to confuse), but hey, I love
seeing attractive women on stage, too.  In 3rd was a very cute and
attractive but too skinny blonde named Tanya Sheehan from Alberta.  In 2nd
was an "ahemnotascuteahem" Ellen Portnoy from British Columbia - replete
with short purple hair. :-)  In 1st was Arlene Wiebe from Alberta, also the
Masters winner (yeah, I could read that in my notes).

Okay, "probably" Arlene was the best in this class, those wacky Canadians
went for the best not the most attractive here - albeit this was the weakest
class in the show.

Middleweight:

This class MORE than made up for previous indiscretions in terms of
attractiveness as the top 3 were IMO in the gorgeous range - if you like
pretty women with LOTS of muscles.  In 3rd was a brunette from Manitoba
named Carmen Unger (I like that first name :-) ).  Slightly pale skin but
nice abs and a very attractive muscular package.  Now we get political.

As in the States, the prejudging is SUPPOSED to be where the judging is
done, except for the overall between the class winners.  And I've gotten
pretty good at reading the callouts and the way the judges act (those wacky
Canadians were easy to read :-) ) to know that they took a liking to an
immensely attractive brunette from Saskatchewan (HELLUVA FBB too) named
Shelly Yakimchuk.  To me, her only fault was she looked a bit shallow
front-to-back (when viewed from the side).  In fact, Sheila Burgess (who I
was sitting next to at the banquet) probably noticed my capacity for
coherent thought go downhill each time Ms. Yakimchuk walked by at the
banquet - incredible interesting "posture".  Anyway, Shelly Y. was announced
2nd (nope, I did no booing as I didn't want the Royal Canadian Mounted
Police to beat up my arse - ha!) to my surprise.

Another reason why I really had no "prob" with the middleweight decision was
the 1st place winner, blonde Raejha Douziech from Alberta, was really
fantastic - AND no implants (Halleluia).  I personally thought she should
win WITHOUT knowing who she was - but saw rationally it was going to Shelly
Y.  In face, I shared the elevator in the morning with Raejha, not knowing
who she was.  All covered up, I thought her face was pretty, and she had a
nice professionally applied tan - just didn't know how DAMN good her body
looked.  Here's my opinion though, the star power of Ms. Douziech made the
judges juggle the score to "make" her win, because they ALSO wanted her the
"overall" - oops, let the cat out of the bag.

Those damn Politicians!  But Raejha's entire body was incredible, and she
WAS a deserving winner, IMO.

Heavyweight:

In 6th was a redhead with a deep dark tan named Sherrie Wilson from British
Columbia.  It was pretty obvious she'd be last, although she wasn't really
that bad.  Trained by Desiree' Ellis, Des (as her friends call her) said
that she was actually almost a novice and was happy with her look and
placing.  Interesting that almost a novice would already be in the MOST
prestigious Canadian amateur show - already...

Before we go on - let me state that the Heavyweight prejudging was done
WITHOUT one competitor - and those wacky Canadians decided to redo the
ENTIRE Heavyweight prejudging at the evening show because of this.
Gasp!  -jabber was horrified.  When Mah-Ann Mendoza, didn't show up for the
'99 NPC USA Middleweight finals, her title (which was a UNANIMOUS first
place on the judges' scorecards), she forfeited.  What gives?  Quite
frankly, I believe if the person who DIDN'T show up WASN'T the one those
wacky Canadians wanted to WIN the Heavyweight class, this brouhaha wouldn't
have happened.  In other words, if it was Sheila or the next competitor I'll
mention, they would've turned the other cheek - but to have their WINNER not
show up - Heavens they've got to do something drastic - and political - and
Clearly Canadian. :-)

In 5th place was someone who lost out due to the "rejudging" a placing.
Before the show, Sheila told me there was one girl in the Heavyweights with
really thick arms, great abs, dark hair and dark skin, and I'd love her.
Indeed, I DID fall in love with Louise St. Pierre from Quebec.  Definitely
NOT the best FBB, I had no problem with her placing, but she had awesome
triceps (especially size) in addition to biceps, and a gorgeous face.
 The -jabber probably took pics during her finals routine at a more blinding
pace than ever before. :-)  Her balance was a bit off (arms way too thick -
God don't you LOVE that problem) and she didn't know how to pose her abs
that well - but they WERE there.

In 4th place was someone who went up a place due to the "rejudging", Sheila
Burgess from British Columbia.  A statuesque-looking redhead, Sheila was
nowhere near as ripped as she was (and could get) at the '99 North
Americans.  But she was "softer" because that's what the judges told her
they wanted.  Hmm...  Anyway, Sheila also had great biceps and "softer" or
not, she really knew how to pose her abs to a tee - 3-D personified.

In 3rd place was Jodi Michaels, a brunette from British Columbia.  Based
upon the prejudging, I sincerely thought she was going to win this show -
and even during the "rejudging" I got this impression.  Jodi was one of the
few I'd seen years ago, also, and her muscle maturity was there, she also
had a statuesque look.  Although not the "sexiest" on stage, IMO, she had it
"more" together than the rest.  But...

In 2nd place was Helen Bouchard, a blonde from Alberta.  I personally
thought she looked like an older version of Sheila Bleck, the gorgeous
winner of the '00 Emerald Cup in Seattle.  Well-balanced, however, I
personally thought something with Helen was lacking.  More than most, I'd
heard varying opinions from the audience, some thought she should've won the
show, others, like me, thought 2nd was a gift for her.  Pretty clear to me,
the judging at least in the morning placed her behind Jodi.  Oh well...

Okay, who was this mystery girl who caused the ENTIRE Heavyweight class to
be re-judged and was she worth it?  Well, from what I heard, Lucie Bergeron,
a dirty blonde (or light brown haired) from Quebec, spoke very poor English
and got a Canadian cab driver who didn't speak or really understand French
(isn't that a punishable offense?  where's the RCMP when ya need it?).  So
they re-judged the whole dang thing because they "wanted" cute Lucie to win.
Was she that bad?  No.  Was she that good?  HELL NO!

Lucie maybe was the most marketable cutest FBB there that evening in the
show (although I thought Louise St. Pierre had it ALL over her myself), and
she maybe deserves a contract from one of the Powder Boys (sorry to steal
Tre's term), and a video (which would sell like the Dickens), etc., but this
ain't a GD beauty contest!  She was "okay", about like Jennifer McLost (er
McVicar) was okay at the '00 NPC USA's in Vegas (that caused me to leave the
auditorium in disgust).

I think those wacky Canadians used a snap-gauge test to figure out the
winner of the Heavyweight class (I hope I don't need to explain what that is
:-) ).

Overall:

Luckily, the cute Ms. Bergeron got beat out by the REAL FBB, the best in the
show, Raejha Douziech, for the overall.  It really wasn't close.  Hands down
(at your side, wherever you please), Ms. Douziech was MUCH better than
either of the other two - a no-brainer there.  Raejha had more competition
from Shelly Yakimchuk within her own Middleweight class, IMO - in fact, I
think Shelly's unusual and unmarketable last name held her back.  Ms.
Douziech, although most can't pronounce it (including me) has a nice
sounding name.

But is that what it's all about?  It shouldn't be.  Overall impression?  I
personally enjoyed the show, and would love to attend another one, either in
Calgary or Vancouver, but will pass on Nova Scotia (I understand the 2001
tentative site), heck, I don't even need a good excuse to return to Calgary
(I'm there)...

Unfortunately, the judging seems almost ancillary to these shows being good
shows - but I felt this one was worth a review.  Until next time, I
remain...

-jabber