The adventures of the
GEEK-GUARDIAN
By ZEPPELIN (get the led out!)
Kyle: Hi, I’m Kyle!
Suzy: Hi, I’m Suzy!
Kyle: Hey Suzy. Wanna come back to my place for a drink?
Brad: Hey gorgeous come here often?
Kyle: Hey I saw her first buddy!
Brad: Is that a threat, pencil-neck?
Kyle: (What?) No, I was just saying I saw her first.
Brad: I don’t give a RATS ASS if you saw her first! She’s mine, end of story! Now get your bitch ass outta my face!
Kyle: Ok, Ok, Calm down there’s no reason to be upset!
Brad: C’mon, babe. Lets go get a cheese-burger or something.
Kyle: (Shit!)
Kyle: (Maybe I ought to try another section of the beach, away from all these muscle-heads…)
Denise: Hey there
Kyle: Hey. (What’s with the baggy clothes?)
Denise: I couldn’t help but notice what happened to you back there.
Kyle: Aw, it was no big deal.
Denise: Yes it was: that guy was a jerk! The thing is this beach is full of guys like that – bodybuilders – who can be total assholes
Kyle: (Smiling) Is that what you come here for then? The jerks…er…bodybuilders?
Denise: (chuckle) Well, to be honest, I don ‘t care what a person looks like, so long as he/she is kind, sensitive, and intelligent…
Kyle: Sounds like me!
Denise: Really?
Kyle: Along with good hygene and a warped sense of humor, yeah!
Denise: Hee, hee, thats cute. My name’s Denise by the way.
Kyle: Hey Denise, I’m Kyle (Shake hands). Say, I was wondering if you like to continue this discussion back at my beach-house? Over a bottle of wine, perhaps!
Denise: (Smiles) That sounds terrific!
Logan: Hey, babe. The name’s Logan. What’s yours?
Denise: Excuse me, can’t you see I occupied here?
Kyle: (Oh shit…here we go again!”)
Logan: Yeah, I can see you’re occupied with some pencil-necked geek who was JUST LEAVING!
Denise: What?
Kyle: I-I-I-Its OK Denise. I gotta be going anyway.
Denise: No Kyle! You stay where you are! I’ll handle this jerk?
Kyle: (What?)
Denise: Off comes the shirt and the pants…
Kyle: GASP!!!!
Big guns, a rippling chest, a broad back, and rock hard glutes can only point to one person!
The Geek-Guardian! Worldwide protector of geeks, wimps
and weaklings!
GG: You wanna know my name, Logan? Its the Geek-Guardian, former 2 time Ms Olympia Bodybuilding champion, current holder of a first degree black belt in Karate, PhD in Quantum Mechanics, and all around SUPER GAL!
Kyle: ***SWOON***
GG: Now is there anything else I can help with you, Mr Logan?
Logan: (Petrified)N-n-n-o!!!
Kyle: (Be still my beating heart!)
GG: Are you sure Mr Logan?
Logan: No! I mean…yes! I mean…I gotta go now!
Kyle: (I mean she’s built like a frigging LINEBACKER!)
GG: Bye-bye then, Mr Logan!
Kyle: (Guess that’s the last we’ll see of him!)
GG: Are you ok, sugar?
Kyle: Yeah I guess…but who the heck are you, anyway?
GG: I am the Geek-Guardian, general protector of weak men worldwide, currently stationed within the vicinity of Southern California.
Kyle: (M’k, she’s pretty intense!) No shit!
Kyle: You know, I’ve never seen MUSCLES like yours on a woman, or even a man!
GG: Yeah, they’re pretty big - especially during the super-hero season. It took me all of 15 years to build this body.
Kyle: 15 years! Shit you must be strong as a BULL!
GG: Well, lemme see…
GG: I can curl 100lbs for 20 reps…
…bench twice my bodyweight (150lbs) for 20 reps too…
…and squat over 800 lbs for 30 reps!!!
Kyle: (Sigh) Well I guess I better let you get on with the job then.
GG: Hey wait a minute! I thought we were going back to your place for a drink!
Kyle: Are you serious? You still wanna come?
MsGG: Of course! Even super-heroes develop a thirst you know…as well as other appetites…
Kyle: Other appetites? (To be continued)
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