VICIOUS VERRONICA by Hamlet RESPONDS TO A LETTER FROM A PROFESSOR Veronica sat on the balcony of her flat reading the local paper The Nottingham Post. She was becoming more and more concerned about the increase in crime in the town known as the town with the worst crime in England and was now desperate to establish her authority as a Domina and Black Scorpion. As she was reading her attention was drawn to the letters page. She saw a letter entitled. TIME TO PUT AN END TO THIS CHARLATAN! The letter read as follows; To the editor Dear Sir, I am writing to complain in the strongest terms about the behaviour of a Black woman Veronica van Heusen who advertises herself as a Corrective Therapist in this paper. In my view the activities of this nasty evil woman should be brought to a halt immediately! In the past few weeks I have found out that this woman has practised something called Corrective Therapy. This has no scientific basis whatsoever and is just a means of inflicting pain and suffering on another person It originates from Norseland a Police state, that we should too have nothing to do with as well. Warrior Nuns from this country have just illegally kidnapped Professor Roland Davenport a distinguished biologist and are holding him as a prisoner in their 'convent' an act that has caused outrage throughout the world academic community. She has practised her therapy on one of her clients who has ended up in hospital QMC in Nottingham and may be a cripple for life! Who the hell gave this Black bitch the right to do this? I am not a racist-in fact I teach foreign and Black students. Yet she seems to think that just because she comes from an ethnic minority and is clearly bigger than anyone else, that she has the right to take the law into her hands! I believe that Corrective Therapy should be declare illegal. I have written to the MP for Nottingham East to put pressure on the Government to that effect. I also believe that the full weight of the Law should come to bear on this Black bitch (sorry to sound racist but she drives me to it!) and she should be sent to prison for her crimes. Failing that the citizens of Nottingham should have her thrown out and sent back to the jungle wherever she comes from or even send her back to that fascist state Norseland. There should be an Injunction against her ever returning to Nottingham again. Let's be rid of this picanniny sadist for ever! I have sent a copy of this letter to the MP and to the Nottinghamshire Police. I expect action to be taken against her soon for assault and inflicting grievous bodily harm! Yours sincerely. John Philips Professor of Criminology University of Nottingham . After reading the letter from the Professor she was absolutely furious. She was so angry! How dare he criticise her or Corrective Therapy the bastard! How dare he criticise Norseland a country where she would soon be an Honorary Citizen As a dedicated Black Scorpion she would fix this bastard for good. He was such a coward as well-he did not even have the courage to contact her personally and had to write the letter to the editor of the paper. He did not even dare write his address because he knew she would visit him. Well you bastard-you can run but you can't hide.I Vicious Veronica will get you and when I do, you'll wish you'd never been born! She decided to send an email to the editor of the Nottingham Post telling the Professor she was coming after him and so everyone else would know. She would visit him at the university. She would put him through a course of Corrective Therapy, starting with a severe Tongue Lashing and a Thrashing. She would make him confess his misdemeanours in front of her and beg her forgiveness. He would have to write an apology to the paper retracting and stating what nonsense he had written. She would warn the bastard that if he ever wrote a letter like that again he would be maimed for life and, he would spend the rest of his life an unemployed cripple. She replied as follows; PROFESSOR PHILIPS I have just read the rubbish you have sent to the editor and I'm absolutely furious! You pathetic coward-you can't even write to me personally and you're afraid to give your address because you know what I'll do to you . How did you ever become a Professor writing drivel like that you worm brained fake! Yes, I am a total sadist. I thoroughly enjoy beating up bastards like you and seeing you scream for mercy! Corrective Therapy is certainly scientific. It totally changes people's lives and rids them of disgusting habits like alcoholism. It will certainly work when I practice it on you and rid you of all that drivel in your head. Your attitudes make me absolutely sick. You are a typical bleeding-heart liberal! As for the police they know are pleased that someone at last is prepared to stand up to criminals instead of protecting them as liberals like you do! . As for your MP I treated him at QMC when I was a physiotherapist. Although I inflicted great pain on him, I cured his arthritis. He realises this now and also realises how popular I now am in Nottingham. Complaining to the police and the MP will do you no good at all. You should have checked your facts out before you complain your arsehole! You also dare to criticise Norseland a Nation that is the greatest and most advanced in the world of which I am proud to be an Honorary Citizen. Yes, I did inflict excruciating pain on that alcoholic. As a result, he will never touch a drink again. I have cured him for good unlike the useless treatments like AA you frauds advocate! Beneath your liberal drivel, you are also a complete racist. You mention the word 'Black' at least 3 times! Yes, I am proud of being a proud Black Woman. We Black Women are very tough and excel at whatever we do and we don't tolerate pathetic windbags like you! You talk about driving me out of town. Well Professor it looks like you're going to be driven out of your job and the town. You shouldn't be teaching students your pea brained fake! Don't worry Professor I'm coming after you and there will be nowhere to hide from me The Black Avenger! As they say you can run, but you can't hide! YOURS IN FURY VICIOUS VERONICA As she sent off the letter, she thought to herself- Just you wait Professor Philips I CAN'T WAIT TO GET WORKING ON YOU YOU SHITHEAD!! Any comments to norselandic@hotmail.com