The moral argument
by Hamlet



Mother Superior Athena addressed the Cathechision Court at St Agatha's Convent
in Eastry in Kent and spoke to the Defence Counsel.

'Right Sam Horrocks. I will allow you to counter Sister Eva's case by
presenting arguments for the defence. Sister Eva will present the moral
argument for the existence of God You will ensure your remarks are relevant
and you will not use this Catechision Court as a platform for your atheism or
for insults against Our Religion.'

Sam Horrocks stood up. He realised he has to be very careful in what he said
and he had to ensure that Mother Athena did not sentence him to the crime of
Defending a Criminal.,

'We err sister Athena my arguments for morality and against the existence of
God are put in my book The Moral Landscape: How Science Can Determine Human
Values if aims to carve a third path between secularists who say morality is
subjective (e.g. moral relativists), and religionists who say that morality is
given by God and scripture. I contend that the only moral framework worth
talking about is one where "morally good" things pertain to increases in the
"well-being of conscious creatures.'

'I am sorry Mr Horrocks bit you are advised not to make a mockery of Our Faith
which I find grossly offensive and if you continue like this I will find you
In contempt of Court. You may proceed but be very careful what you say. You
are in a Convent at a Catechision Court and you will speak with respect!!

'I'm sorry but I just want to say I would like to return to what my opponent
stated in Her cross examination.'

You will address the Prosecutor as the Honourable Sister Eva!

Sister Eva stood before the court looking so muscular dressed from head to toe
in Her Nun's habit of black shiny latex with her latex face mask and high
heeled boots.

Duggan clutched his bruised face reeling from the stinging slap he had just
received from Sister Marissa the Court Bailiff who had grabbed him hard by the
neck and slapped him across the face .

He had just shouted out to the Mother Superior that 'This court is a complete
farce! It shows the stupidity of all religious beliefs! Religion is both a
source of conflict and a justification for belief without evidence. Religious
faith""belief that is not based on evidence""is one of the world's great evils
and this is demonstrated by this ridiculous court! Faith is the great cop-out,
the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence! Faith is
belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence! I refuse to
answer any questions by a court that has no jurisdiction based on a fascist
country Norseland in the Pacific Ocean thousands of miles away. I was taken
here by force while I was lecturing to my students at Oxford without any
justification at all!

"Do you really mean to tell me the only reason you try to be good is to gain
God's approval and reward, or to avoid his disapproval and punishment? That's
not morality, that's just sucking up, apple-polishing, looking over your
shoulder at the great surveillance camera in the sky, or the still small
wiretap inside your head, monitoring your every move, even your every base
though.'

Sister Marissa dug Her nails again into his neck as he gave out yet another
piercing scream.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

His neck was beginning to bleed now as She had managed to drive Her nails
right into his neck.

'What do you say at the end of each sentence arsehole?'

'.Er Sister Eva.Sister Marissa.''he wailed

'Well er Sister Eva.'

Sister Eva strode over to Duggan determined to humiliate him as Sister Marissa
continued to hold him by the neck in Her latex gloved hand.

I will now turn to the moral argument for the existence of God.

1.If God does not exist there are no objective moral values.

2. Objective moral values do exist.

3.Therfore God exists.

PREMISE 1

'Duggan I am quite prepared to accept that unbelievers like you and Horrocks
can lead moral lives. Yet the question before this court is quite simple can
there be good without God?'

'Well I believe that er Sister Eva that moral values are just social
conventions part of our herd insect that we have developed as a result of our
evolution like driving on the right hand side of the road!'

'So you so not believe then Duggan that they are somehow valid and binding
indepenndent of our opinion and have an objective basis?'

'No er certainly not er Sister EvaI I don't believe in absolute moral
arguments like you religious people do such as stoning for adultery!' he
yelled out

He began to scream as Sister Marissa dug her nails once more into his neck.

'You speak to Sister Eva with respect! You forgot to address Her as Sister
Eva!'

Sister Eva strode right up to him.

'You only show your ignorance Duggan in our Nation Norseland there is no such
crime as adultery as there is no such thing as marriage! Anyway read what
Christ said to the woman in adultery see John 8 1-11!'

'Do you accept Duggan that many philosophers such as William Sorley thought
that morality was a good argument for God's existence?'

'I've never heard of him! I'm a biologist not a philosopher to theologian!' he
gasped as Sister Eva stood over him menacingly.

'I can see you are not Duggan that's why I demolished you completely when I
cross examined you none the argument from design and the cosmological
argument!!'

'Sorley maintained that there was an objective moral order that is independent
of us as is the natural order of things.'

'Well I still believe that morality comes from our herd mentality that has
resulted from evolution and natural selection err Sister Eva.' he said just in
time dreading the prospect of Sister Marissa's nails digging into his neck
once more.

'So Duggan you believe in naturalism that the only things that exist are those
described by your scientific theories .Yet science in itself is morally
neutral. According to your scientific view values do not exist they are just
illusions of out minds. The question has to be asked from your evolutionist
point of view is what makes human beings morally valuable at all? Moral values
are just a by product of our biological conditioning just like a troop of
baboons are able to exhibit cooperative behaviours in their troop.All the
'herd morality Does is that it perpetuates the species.Yiour hero Darwin in
fact stated in the Descent of Man that if men wrre reared under the same
conditions as hive bees then umnmaaied females would kill thor brothres and
nmotyhres would kill their female daughters.'

I put it to you Duggan that if there is no God then man is just an ape like
creature with delusions of grandeur and there is no objective morality at all!

Duggan then tried his best to intervene.

'Yes but err Sister Eva is something good just because God wills it? If
something is good because God wills it then good is arbitrary". God might as
well will hatred! It also means that good is independent of God!'

''You are not very original Duggan that is the Euthyphro Dilemma that appears
in Plato's dialogue'

'The answer to this so called dilemma is that God will something because it is
good' God's own nature is the standard of goodness .Moral duties are the
commands of a just and loving God. His nature is what defines what is good.
When an atheist demands if God will support child abuse that is like asking if
there were a square cycle what would be the area?'

'I will now turn to the Defense counsel Sam Horrocks and deal with his
argument that whatever contribute to human flourishing is good and whatever
detracts fr9o it is bad as argued in his book The Moral Landscape.'

PREPARE TO BE CROSS EXAMINED HORROCKS!

Any comments to norselandic@hotmail.com please!