THE MEAN GIRLS - MISSION AGAINST DRUG DEALERS by Hamlet Karra and Amber the School Friends sat together at the Goose pub in Grantham embracing each other fondly as friends since childhood. "Well Amber the time has come at last for us to fight and destroy evil. As a Mean Girl you will in fact become a One Girl fighting machine unable to lose any fight. Of course, you will never be as good as me the Head Mean Girl. (HMG)I know I am a One Girl Army (OGA) and I know am invincible!' 'You are about to fight and destroy and if necessary, kill a bunch of evil drug dealers called the Dostock Gang. I am determined that every single one will be a cripple for life in a days' time and removed from Grantham forever. You will show no mercy to them at all. You will beat them to death if necessary and make them suffer the most excruciating pain. These people are worse than vermin. Every second they live they pollute the earth!. Karra and Amber were both devout and almost fanatical born-again Pentecostal Christians. They regularly attended the Jubilee Pentecostal Church. in Grantham, they believed that there was a spiritual war between Light and darkness in which they as Mean Girls were God's protagonists. 'I want you to demonstrate your fighting skills especially your Taekwondo. Yet I have a warning to you Amber. This is your supreme test and you will not fail me. You will not just win. I expect you to be totally victorious like me. If you really want help any help in this battle, I will be there for you!' 'This time you will be fighting six unscrupulous drug dealers. They will be coming after you with any weapon- broken glasses and knives. I expect nothing less than total victory. You will emerge unscathed. I don't want to see one scar on your body or a hair on your head touched or you're in deep trouble. Remember your motto at all times. A MEAN GIRL ALWAYS WINS!' Amber knew what was expected of her. She knew there was a simple choice-beat those bastards without mercy or she would no longer be a Mean Girl -a fate worse than death itself! 'Oh, Karra I really want to be a perfect Mean Girl and to serve you faithfully. I promise I will do exactly as you tell me at all times. I know I will never be as good as you. There is nothing I want more than to be a Mean Girl!' 'I know you do Amber. Tonight, I know you will beat those bastards to a pulp. I want every one of them suffer the most agonising pain too! We will capture the leader of the Gang Jeff Destock bring him to my home as my prisoner . We will also utterly destroy that evil pub and den of iniquity. the Black Duck where the drug dealing takes place Everything in it will be smashed up. We will then burn it to the ground if necessary! Not one trace of it will remain on this earth!' 'Yes, certainly Karra I can't wait I will really fight hard to the death and be triumphant. I promise you I will never disappoint you. I want to be your perfect Mean Girl!' 'I know you will be Amber. You must understand that we Mean Girls rule by Love and Fear. Love for the residents of Grantham who are the victims of those bastards and fear to all criminals. I want to eradicate crime from this town forever!'. She said to Amber 'Come on let's get those bastards! Karra and Amber stood ready to do battle against those drug dealers the evil Dostock family. They knew that it would be no contest. They knew quite well that within a few hours the floor of that disgusting pub would be covered with blood the mangled bodies of six drug dealers. Karra could not wait to watch Amber's fighting skills-they were obviously not as good as hers, but she was brilliant none the less. . Every minute they waited was another minute the Dostocks were allowed to remain on this earth!' They mounted their high-speed electric bikes together. They revved up the engine and shot forwards into the night. What a magnificent sight they looked both dressed completely in black leather! As they sped past the residents of Grantham gazed at them in awe and wonder. Within a few minutes they were approaching the Earlsfield estate. The lights of the town lay against the night. Karra thought to herself- residents of Grantham your time of liberation is at hand. No longer will you endure the misery of being harassed by scum like the Dostock Gang! The Black Duck lay in the centre of the estate. As they approached, they could hear the terrible racket of horrible heavy metal music blasting away. They came to a halt outside. What a dingy looking place it was! The whole place looked dirty. They could smell the stinking aroma of stale beer and sweat. God what a dump it looked! Karra could not wait to pour petrol on it now with all the Gang and the customers inside! They both walked straight to the front door that appeared to be locked. As Karra was walking what appeared as a blinding flash of light appeared before her. 'Karra do your righteous work once more. Destroy this place of evil and den of iniquity now. Destroy the evil gang. Do not allow them to remain one second more than necessary. Amber will also win this fight easily. She will emerge unscathed from her battle. My power will be with her. Go forth and do your Holy work!' She felt an amazing power within her. She strode forward so full of confidence and power. Amber looked at her and wondered what had happened. 'Are you all right Karra? You look as if you have seen a ghost!' 'In many ways I have Amber. Tonight, you and I will emerge triumphant. The destruction of these bastards and this filthy pub is our Holy Mission. Come on Amber follow me!' With that Karra ran full speed towards the door. She then performed a mighty drop kick. With one blow the door came crashing down. CRAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!! The sight of these two gigantic leather clad Amazons one Black and the other Coloured was truly amazing to the customers in the pub! Yet they had immediate business to attend to. They had to deal with those evil bastards the Dostock family and their friends. Karra would not rest until every single one of them was wiped right off the face of the earth. She would also destroy the pub where the drug dealing took place .It would be burnt to the ground so that not one piece of dust would remain.,just like Sodom and Gomorrah. Filth of any kind, untidiness, devilish music, alcoholism, drugs and stinking pubs would all meet the same fate in the New Order of the Mean Girls! The place stank of stale beer, drugs, sweat and urine. Karra looked in the corner. Two customers lay on the floor paralytic stoned and drunk out of their minds. Two other customers sat there pissed out of their heads too. There was filth and dirty glasses everywhere. The whole place had to be wiped at once off the face of the earth and meet the same fate as Sodom and Gomorrah in the Bible! She could hear the infernal din of that demonic heavy metal on the juke box. It really was the sounds of Hell itself! She ran straight towards the juke box. With one mighty kick she brought her boot into it and kicked again with all her power. SMAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSHHHHH!!! Soon it was just a mass of broken glass. All the CDs fell out. With another powerful movements brought her heel down hard. Within a minute the floor was covered in broken glass and plastic. What was once a juke box had now been smashed to smithereens and was now just a heap of rubbish! She stood in front of every one in that pub. 'From now on no one will listen to heavy metal ever again. The penalty for playing that garbage henceforth will be a thrashing administer by my studded crop!' She looked over. She could see the landlord of the pub cowering in terror behind the bar. It was clear he could not believe that the juke box that had made so much money and which he had played so often was now just a pile of rubble. She walked straight over to him. He really was a most revolting specimen. He had greasy hair with a slight beard. He was covered in spots. He was wearing a dirty tee shirt with the words F----K YOU across it. He was also wearing torn up jeans and trainers God he was repulsive! She grabbed him by his filthy shirt. 'So, what's your name you stinking specimen?' 'Bill, he whimpered. 'Well Bill you are one of the ugliest specimens I have ever seen. You look like shit! You listen to horrible heavy metal rubbish and play it full volume. You consort with the scum of the earth. Your pub is a total shithole. I'm not really sure, you should be allowed to live!' With that she ripped off his stinking tee shirt and tore it up in front of him. He exposed his pathetic frame to her. 'Right you wimp will stand to attention. You will watch the bloody fight that is about to take place when we will pulverise all your friends the Dostock Gang. You will then watch while we systematically destroy everything in your pub1' 'And finally, we will proceed to burn it down, maybe with you strapped in a chair so you might burn with it!' He cried hysterically in terror. She would consider what would be the fitting punishment for his crimes. Burning alive might be the right punishment! She then walked over to the other side of the bar where the 2 customers were sitting. In a fury she grabbed them both by the hair and forced them to stand up. 'When you are in the presence of a Mean Girl you stand to attention, do you understand you drunken sots? I know you have difficulties standing but you stand none the less!' They began to shake in terror. Her screaming certainly had the effect of sobering them up! She then moved to the 2 customers lying flat on their faces drunk and stoned out of their minds. With one powerful kick from her boot they went flying right across the room both bodies taking off in the air. They landed with a crash and regained consciousness at once. She then ordered Bill to take 2 buckets of iced water and throw it all over the four dirty soaks! 'Right you drunken bastards. You will all stand to attention. I will deal with you later by doing what I do to all alcoholics. You will all receive a good hard no holds barred thrashing! Do you understand?' 'YEESSS MADAME ' they all cried out petrified of the agony that awaited them. She then shouted out 'WHICH ONE OF YOU SCUM IS JEFF DOSTOCK?' Any comments to norselandic@hotmail.com TO BE CONTINUED