THE AMERICAN COUPLE IN NORSELAND ARRIVE AT THE DINNER PARTY by Hamlet Jim lay in total agony almost in tears as Marleena had squeezed him by the testicles reducing him to a quivering wreck as he lay on the floor naked at the Valhalla Hotel in Lildestrom Norseland. Once more his attempt at resistance to a Norse Woman had completely and totally failed. He was in so much pain that he felt that he could not even get up from the ground. Yet he only had 10 minutes to get up and present himself to Marleena who was waiting for him at the Reception crop in hand with Oguna the Hotel Manager ready to give him and Julie a stroke across their arses for every minute they were late! Marleena was ready to drive them to her flat for her Dinner Party which Jim had made such a pathetic attempt to refuse to go . Her daughter Afihild as well as her Partner Markus and her Daughter's School Friend Christine, Christine's Mother Peggy and Partner Rolf and were all waiting Christopher the English tourist was getting hungrier than ever. AfIhild had gone to such trouble to prepared such an enormous and delicious looking buffet for everyone. 'Where's that Yankee bastard Jim? I can't wait to get my hands on him for keeping us waiting! 'Afhild shouted. "Hvor er den Yankee-j�velen Mor Jim? Jeg kan ikke vente med aa faa hendene paa ham for at vi har ventet! 'Let's debauch the bastard senseless Afihild!' said her schoolfriend Christine fury. 'La oss oodelegge den j�vlaa sinnloose Afihild!' Julie meanwhile was getting hysterical dreading the terrible prospect of a Cropping across her arse from the mighty Glamazon Marleena. 'For God's sake Jim get off the floor please, we only have 10 minutes to get ready or we face a Cropping from Marleena! You don't know what its like if she crops us.She's stronger than an ox! We might never be able to walk properly for the rest of our lives! ' 'OK I'm trying to get up from the god dam floor !That Norsi bitch has just squeezed my bollocks and it hurts like Hell! You don't know how god dam strong she is!' 'Please get off the floor Jim we're in an emergency and we've got to move hard as my dear old Daddy back in Kansas said! Marleena's on our tail and she's merciless!' 'Look f--k your dear old Daddy just get my suit out of the case!' She realized that they had not unpacked yet and his suit was somewhere at the bottom of the case. In a fit of hysteria, she almost forcibly opened the case, throwing all the contents over the floor. She managed to find his suit which she threw at him. She then threw a shirt a tie and some socks. She moved over and helped him off the floor using all the available strength in her puny body. 'OK OK I'm up now but I'm hurting like Hell. You don't know how much god dam pain I'm in from that bitch, it's worse than anything I had on the football field! At least there I had protection around my bollocks! I've never had me bollocks squeezed in my entire life!' 'Well you've only got yourself into blame. If you had got dressed as she told you to this would never have happened! It's your own stupid fault You can't win against these Norse Women. Why don't you realize it? You might be a tough guy but they are much tougher. As my old dear old Daddy in Kansas said an alsatian might be tough but he can't stand up to a cougar!' 'Look shut the f----k up about your dear Daddy can't you see I trying to get dressed before that Norse bitch crops our arses!' He decided to move fast in spite of the agony he was in. He literally threw his shirt on, then his jacket and trousers Then she helped him on with his shoes. She did his trousers up and then they left the room in a state of panic. They ran down the corridor at full speed nearly knocking into an old man but not caring if they killed him, the only thing on earth that mattered was getting to Marleena at the Reception on time. Fortunately, the lift service was very fast as Jim looked at his watch and saw that they only had a minute to go. He was getting frantic as was Julie at the prospect of that crop going across his arse! As the lift doors opened onto the corridor, they ran at full speed to the Reception to the amusement of the hotel guests who thought them both quite mad as they ran past almost breaking the sprinting record! Standing at the Reception was Marleena with the Hotel Manager Oguma next to her. Marleena walked up to him crop in hand smiling at the sight of him sweating all over looking so dishevelled. 'Well so you both arrived on time by 30 seconds! 'she said looking at her stopwatch. 'You came in time because you knew that if you were late your arses would be over this Reception desk and you would be cropped right in front of all the guests!' 'Yes Madame Marleena' they both said with their heads bowed, petrified of her. 'You do look a complete wreck don't you Jim? Your hair looks as if it hasn't been brushed for a week, your tie is undone, your collar is up, your shirt is hanging out and your shoes look as if they've never seen polish at all! Do you realize its a criminal offence to look like that in this Nation Do you want me to contact Judge Marissa?' 'No please don't Madame Marleena. I promise I will go and tidy myself up!' She was constantly mentioning Judge Marissa and he was becoming more and more scared every time! JudgeMarissa was well known for absolute Zero Tolerance! 'Well it's a bit late for that. My guests are waiting and they're getting hungry .I will drive you to my flat now where my Daughter Afihild will clean you up. I think you also need a new suit. I have a friend Alexandria who is the Manager of the Smartia Clothes Shop.in Lildestrom I think you need a Session with her!' 'Yes Madame Marleena' he said knowing that if he said anything else he would certainly face her crop She turned to Julie. 'You look a bit smarter but you need a new hair do and that dress needs to be thrown away! You're going to have to come with me to Alexandria too for a Session with her too!.' 'Yes Madame Marleena!' she said in her usual submissive manner knowing that she had to always agree with what these Norse Women said at all times ' Err Madame Oguna.' she said to the Hotel Manager 'I'm very sorry but I'm afraid we left the hotel room in a terrible mess when we left. We know you Norselanders are so keen on cleanliness and order,' 'Yes we are and one thing I can't stand is an untidy hotel room. I'm going to send one of my Papian Menial Workers(MW) Mako around to clean it While he is up there I'm going to inspect it myself If it's in a real mess you are in trouble and I may have to increase your bill by the time he had had to take cleaning it.' Oh God Jim thought so I'm in trouble again! Not only am I in trouble for saying I didn't want to go to that Dinner Party, I'm now in trouble for looking scruffy and for having an untidy hotel room. When will I ever get out of this f----g country? Why does my wife have to tell everything? The stupid bimbo I'll beat her senseless but I'll have to make sure that Norsi bitch Oguna isn't looking or she'll crop me too! 'Right come on now, we've got to go to my Party .The guests are waiting, let's go !'said Marleena. With that she dragged the two of them by the necks to the car. She threw Jim into the back seat with one hand and then threw Julie into the front as if they were mere objects. They were soon at her flat. She dragged both of them by the neck to the front door. Afhild answered the door. She was dressed in her normal school outfit just like Christine of a tight black leather jacket, tight leather hot pants and calf length boots. Next to her was her friend Christine. Jim and Julie looked and saw a huge buffet spread out of bratwurst, steaks, fried chicken. pork chops whale meat and chicken with an enormous pile of fries and another pile of salad. It was certainly enough to feed a whole regiment! Afihild stood in front of him. 'You're ten minutes late and I've spent all day cooking you bastard Jim! How dare you not turn up on time! Both me and my friend Christine are really angry with you shithead! 'she shouted right into his face towering over him. He was a university lecturer and he was being shouted at by a 16-year-old, someone younger than all his students! .'You're quite right to be bloody angry with him Afihild, you know the reason he's late is that he said he didn't want to come to the Dinner Party! After all the trouble you went to cooking. He thought he could refuse to go! He managed to get dressed just in time before I gave him a Cropping! Just look at the mess he's in though he looks just like a scarecrow! 'said Peggy Christine's mother in disgust 'Du har helt rett til aa v�re blodig sint paa ham Afihild, du vet at grunnen til at han er sent, er at han sa at han ikke ville komme til middagspartiet! Etter all troobbel gikk du paa matlaging. Han trodde han kunne nekte aa gaa! Han klarte aa kle seg akkurat i tide foor jeg ga ham en beskj�ring! Bare se paa rotet han er i, selv om han ser ut som et fugleskremsel! 'God, he does he looks a complete wreck Mother!'shouted Christine 'Gud, han gjoor at han ser ut som et fulltt vrak Mor!' Afhild grabbed him by the neck in her powerful grip. He began to groan loudly as the pain was terrible. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! 'I told him that you and Christine would like to clean and tidy him up first.' said Marleena. ~Jeg fortalte ham at du og Christine gjerne vil rydde og rydde opp i ham.! 'We would! We're going to really clean him up in the bathroom. Meanwhile you will all eat later!' replied Afihild in anger 'Vi ville! Vi kommer til aa rense ham paa badet. I mellomtiden vil du alle spise senere! ' 'I also told Julie she needs cleaning up too!' said Marlena. 'Jeg sa ogsaa til Julie at hun ogsaa maa rydde opp! AfIhild went right up to Julie making her feel so inadequate once more. 'I think you need a good clean up too you American whore!' Julie had never been spoken to like that by someone over 20 years younger! She grabbed Julie by the arm, while Christine grabbed hold of Jim by his ear. Afihild said to her Mother. 'We're taking these two for a clean-up! Vi tar disse to for en opprydding! 'LET'S TAKE THEM TO THE BATHROOM!! LA OSS TA DEM TIL BADET !! Any comments to Norselandic@hotmail.com TO BE CONTINUED