TATJANNA CRUELA THE HEALTH RANGER by Hamlet As a Norselander living in England Tatjanna Cruela believed something seriously needed to be done about the state of health as well as the extent of crime in Britain by tackling the problem of the extremely poor state of health in the country. It was known that the British diet consisted of so much fatty food such as burgers and chips and crisps and greasy fried breakfasts. It was also clear that the British had a serious drink problem that had been going on for hundreds of years and that the average British person drank well over the acceptable level of 21 units of alcohol a week. . The result of this was that the British National Health Service where she worked had to spend millions of pounds treating people with strokes and problems to do with smoking such as lung diseases as well as diseases connected with drink such as cirrhosis of the liver. Tatjanna Cruela was a member of the Royal Health Rangers or the Reginas Helselandvoorddur in Norselandic. The object of the RHR was to drastically improve the health of the world particularly starting with Britain if necessary, using force. The RHR were committed to 6 basic objects. An improvement in diet throughout the world though eating more fresh fruit and vegetables. Serious physical exercise especially through Yoga, Aerobics and Athletics that had to be taken for at least one hour a day. A complete ban on all smoking and cigarettes tobacco throughout the world. A complete ban on all hard drugs. A serious restriction on the sale and consumption of alcohol so that no one could consume more than 21 units per week. A ban on the sale of all unhealthy foods in particular chips, crisps,burgers, white bread, and all processed foods. To achieve these aims the RHRs were prepared to use extreme force if necessary to make people healthy. They were quite prepared to enter restaurants in 'greasy spoon' caf�s that served filthy and greasy food and close them down by smashing them up by force if necessary and punishing the owner. The RHR were quite prepared to deal with people who looked obese or unhealthy by forcibly taking them for serious health treatment to their new super equipped Health Fullerby Clinic had opened in Lincolnshire England the most advanced on the world by far The RHRs were quite ready to break into shops and to seize all the cigarettes and if necessary, break up and burn down shops that sold cigarettes especially to minors. They were willing to use extreme violence against all drug pushers and forcibly take drug addicts to the Fullerby Clinic for forcible rehabilitation. They were also quite ready to raid pubs if necessary, closing them down breaking them up too if they served drunken customers. They were also prepared to drag drunks away in their Health Vans for forcible drying out and rehab at the Fullerby Clinic. Finally, they were quite prepared to raid supermarkets and remove all supplies of chips, whoite bread and burgers if necessary, by force. They were also ready to burn down crisp factories if necessary, putting crisp manufacturing companies like Walkers out of business altogether. People had to learn to live a healthy lifestyle. They had after all received enough information on healthy living and the time had now come too use force if necessary and to make people be healthy! What is more an unhealthy lifestyle had serious effects on crime. There was no doubt that eating junk foods upset the mind as well as the body. The saying in'mens sana in corpore sano'' a healthy mind in a healthy body or in Norselandic 'Et sunt sinn i en sunn kropp' was quite true! There was also no doubt that there was a serious connection between crime and drug taking and that a great deal of mugging was caused by the desire for drugs. What was more drink was heavily connected with crime and Tatjanna Cruela had read that nearly 40% of prisoners were in prison because of drink related offences alone. "Physical fitness is the first requisite of happiness." -� Joseph Pilates Any comments to norselandic@hotmail.com TO BE CONTINUED