ANGELA THE NORSE WOMAN AND VALKYRIE 66 by Hamlet TROUBLE AT THE KARAOKE We were met outside the restaurant by Veronika who arrived exactly on time .Her time keeping was actually perfect!We all piled into the taxi ready for an evening of enjoyment ahead.As usual I sat next to Christine, who said once more that She was going to be my Partner for the evening. She held  me once more in Her leather gloved hands and warned me again about talking to other Oslanders especially Filipinos and to Papians as well.   We were soon outside Rattans Bar that was situated on Harbasvaga a long road that was situated right on the harbour itself. It had a magnificent view of the Queen Goddess Bridge that was flood lit and and spanned right across the harbour itself.The Bar itself was totally unlike any dingy English pub.It was a huge Bar that Angela had modelled Votans on ,the bar of which She was the Manager in England.The nearest equivalent in England would be All Bar One.   Like all bars in the Nation it was enormous and spotlessly clean .It was built on 3 floors and was packed not just with gangs of Norse Women Man Hunting and groups of Norse Men ready to be hunted, but also with hundreds of tourists especially Americans and Australians .   This evening especially it was going to be visited especially by large groups of American sailors from the USS Ronald Reagan that was only moored a few hundred meters away.For the first time in over a year the Norselandic Government had allowed U.S carriers into its ports after banning them completely as part of its resistance to the invasion of Iraq.They would only be allowed to stay as part of the Agreement if the sailors behaved themselves!   The whole place was like all bars in the Nation more like a restaurant than a bar. There was no concept of pubs as in England where one went out just to get drunk and drinking was the main activity .In this Nation one went out to eat and to enjoy oneself without the necessity of getting drunk.   The first 2 floors were eating and drinking areas only .Customers would sit at tables and be waited on by  Bar Marshals ( BMs) who as in all bars and restaurants wore uniforms that resembled Cow Person outfits.They wore leather as always, this time red leather  cat suits that was the uniform of all bar marshals ( BMs) which was the professional body all bar staff belonged to .Being a BM in this Nation was an honoured and respected profession  taking years of training and BMs not only served customers, but expected in turn to be treated with respect and deference by the customers themselves.BMs were all trained in Gym Kata and practiced it on any customer that caused any trouble, especially Oslanders!   On the upstairs floor was the karaoke stage .There was a karaoke Mistress or KM Samantha for the evening,  whose job it was to invite customers onto the stage and invite them to sing. Of course any customer who could not sing or was drunk or difficult would be ordered off the stage at once .She was standing in front of the customers in a really fetching outfit of a black leather bra and  long leather gloves and high heeled boots.   As we walked into the bar, we were met by a BM Yvette .She was a really attractive Norse Woman  and had blonde curly hair tied back in a pony tail.She smiled at us as we walked in and greeted us.   'Good evening My name is Marshal Yvette.I will be your BM for the evening. Where would you like to sit?'   'Actually We would like to go to the karaoke which is about to start Yvette.' said Angela.   'Certainly Ladies it's on the top floor. I see you have an Oslander with You .Has he remembered to bring his FAC( Foreigners Alcohol Card)?   'Yes certainly .We realise he's only allowed 6 units of alcohol this evening !'replied Angela.   'That's true. Every time you order a bottle of wine I will count how many glasses he has had to drink .Remember that one glass counts for two units of alcohol, that means he is only allowed 3 glasses in the whole evening .We monitor this very strictly as we don't want to lose our license!'   They talked about me as if I was just an object and my opinions were worthless!   'Also you have a minor with You .How old is She?'   'I'm 16 years old and My name is Christine' said Christine coming forwards   'Well Christine I will have to see your IC' said Yvette(Identity Card that had to be carried at all times or else!)   'Right Christine You can stay until midnight as a special concession as You are with your Mother but this is the last time! You will have to wait in future until you're 18!'   Christine did look resentful but at the same time realised She had to obey the Law scrupulously and that Yvette as a BM was well and truly in charge!   'Right .You can now go up to the karaoke bar. Ring me from the table when you are ready to order!'    All tables had phones where the numbers of the BMs could be called and they would come up at once. God what an efficient Nation this was .Everything worked like clockwork even more than Switzerland!   We all went upstairs. There was an enormous dance floor with hundreds of people pouring in ,a mixture of  Norse Women Man hunters ,Man victims ,foreign tourists especially Americans and Australians and later gangs of American sailors. I realised that the USS Ronald Reagan was nearby and these sailors would be coming out on liberty!   We all sat down near the karaoke stage as we knew it would start soon Samantha was getting ready. She was a big tough Norse Girl and would take no nonsense at all from customers especially Oslander scum.   Angela called Yvette .We were ready to order. We were going to have  2 bottles of Gronskull  Creek white wine ,a large jug of pineapple juice with ice and 6 smorgasbord. Angela .Christine and I ordered chicken smorgasbord ,Laura pork and Peggy and Helga ordered beef.   The food and drink was brought up in 5 minutes .Service was with military efficiency .As usual the helpings were gigantic far more than I could eat!   In this Nation the bar itself was also afraid of getting into trouble with the RO( Restaurant Officer) for the bar Madame Karma Vaksdahl who was known to be really ruthless  and the responsible Judge Sheila Burgesson .She was also a member of the Foreign Sailors Unit (FSU) and was known also to be really vicious too!     Just then the Karaoke Mistress Samantha stood up and addressed everyone   'Good evening everyone. I am Karaoke Mistress Samantha and I am in charge of the karaoke this Saturday evening at Rattans Bar. We will be going on all night and I expect most of you to stay all night and sing and dance heartily. I will of course not tolerate bad singing at all!Anyone who can't sing I will order off the stage at once. I have a qualification  in music and I sing myself so I know all about music!'   ' We will start the karaoke the first song is from Carla who will song 'White Flag 'by the English singer Dido.'   Carla got up to sing .She was dressed in shiny black rubber calf length boots and rubber gloves .She was clearly on a Man Hunting Expedition with Her 3 Friends in the corner.   She got up and sang beautifully. As She was singing the dance floor began to fill up and all 5 of us got up to dance in a group. Christine held me from the front moving Her leather gloved fingers up and down my crotch.Laura then came from behind moving Her hand up and down my backside and fingering my arse!   As we were dancing an Australian tourist called Geoff got up to sing a song by Elvis Pressley ' Blue Suede Shoes'.It was quite clear that he could hardly sing a note .After about 2 minutes Samantha ordered him off the stage to the boos and hisses of the crowd!   'Get off the stage now you Australian areshole! That was appalling! It's obvious you can't sing a note! I've a good mind to have you thrown out of the Bar for making a noise like that!'   He walked way looking so ashamed of himself to more boos from the crowd!   Helga was up next to sing. She sang 'One of these days 'by Emmy Lou Harris .She had a wonderful strong voice .The whole dance floor was packed to the strains of the song!   She sang lustily as Her voice  carried right across the dance floor   'I won't have to chop no wood I can be bad or I can be good I can be any way that I feel One of these days!'   The dance floor was getting more crowded as literally hundreds of people were now flooding in.     Just then the worst happened. A bunch of American sailors 20 in all walked in .It was clear that they had just come off the USS Ronald Reagan having been issued with Entry Passes by the Judges who monitored their behaviour and made sure that they were on the aircraft carrier by 2 AM.   They were determined to have a wild time having been couped up on the carrier for 2 weeks .They had just come from Yokohama in Japan where there was a red light district and plenty of prostitutes. Vikingsborg was quite different with no strip clubs at all as they were illegal and strict controls on drunkenness.   It was clear they were all really frustrated and were determined to meet some women at all costs .As soon as they entered they shouted out.   'What time does the show start!'   'Turn that country crap off !We want some blues music!'   'Get the god dam beers in!'   They were largely ignored by the people there as they joined in the chorus with Helga singing lustily.   'One of these days it will be all over cut and dried'   'And I won't have this urge to go all bottled up inside!'   Being ignored  made them even more aggressive as they pushed forwards on the dance floor. Suddenly they came upon us dancing away.   One of them shouted out   'Mind if we muscle in. We like the leathers!'   Angela went up to them and confronted them.   'Why don't you get lost or well call the Judges and have you thrown out!'   'Judges who are they Judge Dredd!' one of them laughed out.   Angela then phoned judge Sheila Burgesson on Her mobile.   'Judge Burgesson ,We have your number to contact in case there is any trouble. There are a bunch of American sailors behaving like arseholes .Can You come round to the karaoke bar at Rattans and deal with them?'   'Certainly May I have your name?'   'It's Miss Angela Spiteful. I'm here with my Sister, my Niece and 2 Friends .Actually Judge Burgesson we'd rather like to beat the crap out of them ourselves. I do know it's legal to fight Oslanders in a secluded place provided a Judge is present. Could You supervise the fight? I am  a JSO ( Judge Support Officer)and have some authority  but realise You  as a Judge must be there!'   'You're right Angela, the Law states fights can take place with Oslanders ONLY, but only in a secluded place provided there is no danger to persons or property .I will be there to supervise the fight. It will take place in the Rattans car park and I would like to join in!'   Meanwhile Peggy had one of the biggest sailors in an arm lock in the presence of everyone on the dance floor. Helga stepped down from the stage to join in .It was clear a fight was about to begin Yvette had also come up and was quite prepared to evict them as a BM.   Soon Judge Sheila appeared. She  was lovely to look at with the reddish blonde hair that was typical of the North. She looked stunning in Her black leather Judges Uniform. She was brilliant bodybuilder and a Grade 1 in Gym Kata.   She strode up to the sailors who had gone quiet seeing their friend in agony as Peggy continued to hold him in a vice nearly breaking his arm. He was groaning in pain!   'Right you lot you're all under arrest. Normally I would take you outside and throw you  all in the Judge Wagon and then hurl you all on the carrier and then stamp all your Entry Papers all on My own. However these Women here, whom you have wronged, want to take action against you .We will fight you in the car park 20 of you against 6 of us. Of course you will be sent back to the carrier as cripples but you've got to learn your lessons!'   She yelled at them so She could be heard right across the dance floor.   'COME OUTSIDE AND FIGHT!'     Any comments to Norseland@hotmail.com   SITES   ANGELA   www.miss-spiteful.com]     CHRISTINE   www.madamechristine.cz   PEGGY   www.peggyschoolcraft.com   HELGA   www.ms-abby.com     LAURA SAMANTHA KARMA CARLA   www.owk.cz/ladies only They all have blonde hair!Laura is Madame Loreen   SHEILA   www.hilda.thevalkyrie.com or Sheila Burgess wrestling in videos and movies!   USS RONALD REAGAN   www.reagan.navy.mil or look it up in Google or Yahoo.