SPIDERA
by Hamlet



Friday March 5th had at last arrived as Spidera awaited the Opening Night of
Votans the new Norselandic bar that was called a Taste of Paradise in East
London.

The whole pub that was once the Langthorne had been transformed totally. Every
single piece of furniture table and glass and every bottle was thrown away
into the dustbin .The dreary days of the Langthorne were over! The memory of
the past was well and truly over !

The pub had been refurbished totally at a cost of nearly ##15000. She had
raised this money easily from a loan from a Norselandic bank called the
National Norselandic Bank. She knew the East London Manager Ms Vera Fearssson
very well and She had told her that the bank would easily get its money back
from the takings of the Opening Night .At least 600 people were expected to
come tonight spending at least ##20 each so the Bank would soon get all its
money back in one night!

The whole place was positively glistening. It was full of brand new IKEA
furniture with bright polished bare floor boards .There was a massive colour
portrait of the Queen Goddess at the entrance dressed in shiny black leather
with a golden crown on Her head.There was an enormous Norselandic flag a green
cross on a white back ground to which all visitors had to bow down to.

All the walls were covered in art work and full scale colour photographs of
Norseland showing just what a beautiful earthly paradise it was .There were TV
screens that would show a full range of Norselandic television programmes and
sports such as Aerobics and Gym Kata for all those Norselanders who pined and
were homesick for their Nation.The bar would only serve Norselandic beers such
as Jaalsborg and Volssons and spirits such as Norselandic whisky and rum and a
full range of wines such as Gronskull Creek.

The whole place had been divided into a restaurant area and a dancing area The
dance floor was enormous ready for the full range of entertainments Spidera
had prepared for. There was a large stage for the bands and for
karaoke.Tonight the country band the Valhallas would perform.There would be a
full range of bands to perform and there would also be karaoke and singing
competitions.

Spidera had all Her staff ready for the evening. The 3 Portuguese staff Joao,
Maria and Marena had been cleaning the floors and tables day and night under
the ruthless supervision of Lola Spidera's Papian slave She had also
disciplined Arnold the former manager training him as a toilet slave making
sure he cleaned the toilets until they were spotless

She now presented a formidable figure even though she was a slave to Spidera
herself.She always wore a black leather sahini with a long slit up the side
knee length, high heeled boots and leather gloves .She made al the staff
address her as Miss Popatoa .After experiencing so many beatings herself she
was determined to get her revenge. She particularly enjoyed beating Arnold and
ramming his face down the toilet bowl while she cropped his arse!

The 2 Papian chefs were cooking th2 Papian chefs Ieio Tahini assisted by his
wife Mahia and Stefi Uaakatua .the meats were cooked on a huge open barbecue
and spit roast that lay along the dining area .They were cooking a choice of
meats beef, chicken, pork ,lamb horsemeat ,whalemeat and crocodile

At their sides Ieio's wife Maha was preparing the salad with 15 ingredients
making sure they were all fresh and that everything was drowning in dressing
and mayonnaise.She was also chargrilling the potatoes almost to a cinder .With
the range of meats, sauces, salad ,potatoes ,pasta and fruits and sweets this
was a veritable feast that no one in the area had seen before ! Anyone could
eat as much as they liked until they had a heart attack!What was more it was
prepared by expert Papian chefs who were world renowned.

Finally Spidera had built a Whipping Block at the back of the restaurant with
rubber straps where any miscreant would be thrashed mercilessly in font of the
other customers.She wanted everyone to thoroughly enjoy themselves at the same
time She would be totally ruthless with bad behaviour or drunkenness.

Everyone knew the Rules of the Bar and violating them would bring strict
punishment on the offender! It was not enough to bar someone from the pub as
they were in England They had to be thrashed mercilessly to show the
disapproval of the Manager.In serious cases of misbehaviour She was quite
prepared to call the ROJ ( The Royal Overseas Judges)who would take the
offender to the Headquarters to be put to be tortured if necessary to death!

Spidera was ready to greet the 4 Marshals dressed in Her Cow Person outfit
which was the National Costume of the Nation. She had just recruited two new
Marshals from Her home city in Norseland Kristianskobing in addition to
Firefly and Her Parner Kristen

Spidera looked really stunning. She had put on lots of mascara and shiny
lipstick She wore a black leather stetson. She also wore a leather studded
collar and silk scarf .She wore a skin tight black leather jacket with
tassels. She also wore a tight leather skirt and knee length boots with high
heels and steel toe caps .Around Her waist she wore a holster with 2 guns with
real ammunition, a cat o nine tails ,a crop, knuckledusters and handcuffs.To
complete the effect She wore shiny black leather gloves. She wore a badge;

SPIDERA SPITEFUL THE MANAGER

SPEAK TO ME!

What a truly magnificent sight !

The 4 Marshals arrived They looked as gorgeous as Her dressed in their Cow
Person costumes .In fact the only difference between Kristen and the Women in
appearance was that the Women wore skirts and the Men had skin tight leather
trousers and the Men had their bulges in the front whereas the women had
theirs in the front!

Their full names were Firefly who was going to be the Associate Manager and
Her Partner Kristen .Like all Norse Women She Did not take the husband's
surname Also they did not always live together as Firefly and Kristen lived
separately as did their children

'Right Marshals welcome to the Vampire Bar the second Norselandic bar in east
London This will be where you will be working from now on .Your work will be
to serve customers meals and drinks and to supervise them and even to
accompany them when they go to the toilet especially to make sure they wash
their hands. You must understand that unlike England being a waiter and bar
person is a skilled and noble profession in our Nation.' said Spider
addressing them.

'You are in charge .You will be addressed as Sir and Madame always. You will
ruthlessly enforce the Rules of the Bar .No nonsense will be tolerated! You
must understand that this is effectively Norselandic territory and our Law not
British law applies

'In particular you will not tolerate drunkenness at all .You will only serve a
drink with food only. You will keep a tab of each customer and they may only
consume 4 alcoholic drinks in one evening and no more- after that it's soft
drinks only! Anyone caught drunk you will use your crop or cat to sober them
up!'

'As a Norselander like you I loathe dirt or mess of any kind .I detest bad
table manners particularly eating with dirty hands of fingernails. If you see
anyone eating with dirty hands or fingernails you have My full permission to
drag the miscreant in the toilet and forcefully wash their hands and cut their
nails. This applies to scruffy jeans too. If you see anyone with dirty jeans
you have My full pernission to rip them off and crop the miscreant over the
table and then kick them out of the door!'

'In the toilet there is the toilet slave Arnold .He used to be the manager
here before I took over and was absolutely bloody useless. You should have
seen the state of the place before I took over!. It was a complete shithole!If
you see him slacking or if you see the toliet is not spotless you have My full
permission to shove his face down the bowl and flush the toliet His job is to
work !'

'There are also 43Papians working here to as well as My slaveant Lola ,2 chefs
Teio and Toni and Teio's wife Maha They are here to work and as Papians to do
as they are told. They must NOT fraternise with customers.If you see any of
them fratenising you are to crop them and the customer too!This does not apply
to Lola My slave she is the kitchen supervisor If you see her cause any
trouble which I'm sure you won't you will report her to Me to be dealt with'.

.There are also 3 Portugueses.They come directly under Lola the Kitchen
Supervisor. However I want you to supervise them too. They are here to wash up
clean the kitchen and to clean the tables. Like the Papians they are here to
work hard in silence. If you catch any of them slacking or talking, you have
My full permission to crop them either in front of the customers or in the
kitchen!'

'I want customers to have a great time and to enjoy themselves .If you see
anyone sitting down while the dancing is going on you will confront them and
tell them to participate. In particular if a Norselander asks an English
person to dance he or she must dance. You are here to enjoy yourself and there
is no such word as No!.,

.Finally you will see a Whipping Block This is where I will put customers over
if there is serious misbehaviour such as fighting, extreme drunkenness or
making rude remarks about the Nation or the Queen Goddess which will not be
tolerated Only I and Firefly the Assistant Manager will be allowed to beat
customers over the Whipping Block .You are to report misbehaviour to Me or
Helga at once I am quite prepared to give 30 strokes!'

'Is that fully understood?'

YES SPIDERA they all said at once.

It was now 6.30 PM.As Spidera's special friend and slave Christopher was the
first person to be invited .She came right up to him He was really excited
looking at Her in Her leather cow person outfit.

'Christopher sweetheart it's so good to see you! '

She gave him a long Welcome Kiss fondling his crotch and putting Her tongue
right down my throat.

'So what do you think Christopher ?'

'It's fantastic Mistress Spidera. It's the smartest restaurant and bar I've
ever seen in my life .What a contrast to the Langthorne!

'I know Christopher that dump is a memory .You will not mention it ever again.
Now help yourself to a free complimentary drink. Remember it's only 3 more
alcoholic drinks after that! As My special friend you can eat as much as you
like for only ##10!'

'Christopher from now on I want you to concentrate on eating rather than
drinking .Get away from this English habit of drunkenness and enjoy yourself
being sober! Also tonight I'm sure a gorgeous Norse Woman or Brunhilde will
ask you to dance .You must accept as is the tradition in our Nation .She Will
almost certainly like to feel down your crotch You must oblige Her! She might
even take you to one of the Love Rooms upstairs to debauch you. You look very
smart in your stetson and jeans .You must enjoy yourself tonight sweetheart!.
'

As She said this She gave him another kiss on the lips.

HAVE A LOVELY TIME SWEETHEART!'

TO BE CONTINUED

Any comments to norselandic@hotmail.com