SISTER EVA'S OPENING SPEECH by Hamlet IN THE TRIAL OF ROLAND DAVENPORT After Sister Eva had begun her cross examination of Roland Davenport at St Agatha Convent in Eastry Kent England , the Mother Superior Very Senior Sister Athena Lydiasdottir, then addressed the Catechision Court. 'Ladies and Gentlemen Good Morning.' 'Chief Prosecutor Professor Senior Eva Harvastad will now present the case for the prosecution of the prisoner Professor Roland Davenport '..' Sister Eva stood before the court looking so impressive and muscular dressed in latex from head to toe with her high heeled boots in her Nun's habit and high heeled boots 'Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen I am Senior Sister Eva Harvested Professor of Apologetics at the University of Kristianskobing. I feel so privileged to prosecute Davenport the academic fake why stands before this court on the very serious charges of blasphemy and promoting atheism.' As Sister Eva was speaking Roland Davenport continued to sit shivering in the court in just his underpants He was now becoming so scared knowing that the cameras of the world were trained on him and demonstrate that he had gone from being a proud Professor of Biology at Oxford to being a shivering wreck showing off his puny body to the world . Meanwhile the Court Bailiff and Supervisor Sister Marisa was gripping his neck in her latex globed hand digging her sharp nails into him while at the same time bringing her razor-sharp boot heel up and down his leg. He began to yell once more in agony YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Sister Eva continued 'What is the meaning of Apologetics? It certainly does not mean to apologise for our Christianist faith. In fact it comes from the Greek word apologia which means to defend our faith in a Court of Law like this one the Catechision Court The Bible commands us to defend our Faith against unbelievers like Davenport here.We are urged to be prepared to make a defence to anyone who asks you for the hope that is in you but to do this with gentleness and respect (Peter 3 15)' Just as she was speaking Sister Marisa dug her nails that were sharper than knives right into Davenport's testicles YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'You'd 'better listen to every word Sister Eva says Davenport or you won't have any testicles left!' Sister Eva continued 'We Sisters of Mercy or Warrior Nuns believe that the best form of defence is attack and we are engaged in a Holy War Against Crime and Terror from which we as God's representatives will emerge victorious We are treating Davenport with gentleness and charity in allowing him to be on trial at the Convent and giving him three meals a day.' '.' 'The questions why are we bringing Davenport to trial here? 'This is because it is an essential part of a Holy War and Davenport here represents everything we are fighting against as Warrior Nuns. ' 'We are engaged in a spiritual struggle for the souls of mankind .Secularism as represented by Davenport here is our enemy the world humanist view he represents that allows no room for the supernatural, miracles, Divine Revelation and is hell bent on eliminating all Faith and God himself from all public life and would like to eliminate all Faith entirely.' 'This is in contrast with my Nation NorseLand where the Royal Christianist Church headed by Her Divine Majesty the Queen Goddess is supreme and were the Faith is indoctrinated into children. It explains why we are the most moral Nation on earth. where crime is effectively non-existent.' 'My aim is to totally destroy the arguments put forward by Davenport in his book God Does Not Exist his unfortunate bestselling book.' Sister Marisa dug her nails into Davenport's testicles once more Are you listening Davenport? He yelled in agony AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHH YYYYESSSS SSSSSISSTTER MMARISA!!!! Any comments to norselandic@hotmail.com