NORSELAND AN EARTHLY PARADISE - part one
by Hamlet

I would like to tell you my experiences with my friend Angela Spiteful the
Norse Woman and Valkyrie. I would like to describe her adventures since she
has been over here in England and how I have effectively become her personal
slave.

I have known her for a year now ever since I have corresponded with her in
Norseland the country she comes from. It all started off when I joined the
Norselandic Admiration Society which exists for people all over the world who
admire Norselanders and want to go to Norseland.As a result, she became my pen
friend. It has over 600,000 members worldwide, mainly women.

In case anyone does not know Norseland is a country situated in the Pacific
Ocean about 80 miles north west of Hawaii.

I have never been there though Angela has invited me over there and I would
love to stay in her flat. It is apparently a very beautiful country. The whole
island is a little bit smaller than England with a population of nearly 100
million which makes it one of the most densely populated countries in the
world.

The name of the whole island is Pacifica. It shares the island with a smaller
country called Papia .Its capital is Stefansholm a city of 20 million the
fourth largest city in the world after Beijing .There are many other large
cities such as Vikingsborg the second largest city, Varense, the main
industrial city Kristianskobing a major port and Haraldshus a major
meatpacking centre in the agricultural area of the centre known as the
Prairies

.It is divided into 21 Provinces

I have seen pictures of it and it is a lovely tropical island with palm trees
white sand beaches and mountains and plains in the interior.It is a country
that is beautifully clean and tidy .It has by fast the highest standard of
living in the world .It is a country where everyone is affluent ,where there
is no poverty or unemployment or homelessness at all.

It has had a Social Democratic Government for the last 101 years.(The SDP is
in many ways similar to the British Labour Party though unlike the Labour
Party it is implacably opposed to abortion, gay rights and transgenderism
.)The Government ensures that everyone is cared for from the cradle to the
grave.There is excellent free education, everyone is educated to very high
level ,everyone is employed and is paid well in the jobs they do.It is a
country where everyone is well housed in subsidised State accommodation.There
is an excellent National Health Service.It has a clean efficient and
subsidised public transport system that is the envy of the world

.The streets are pristine clean and there is a £100 penalty for dropping a
scrap of paper on the pavement. It is enforced ruthlessly by the Police known
as the Judges .This is a country where everyone is rich and there is no real
inequality, where it is illegal to not work ,to be homeless or to beg on the
streets and the penalties are very severe indeed for breaking the Law.

It is also a country where crime is effectively non existent.This is not only
because the population are educated to a very high level where they are taught
to be social to their neighbours.It is also because the Police the Judges have
total and complete power.They operate as judge. jury and executioners. If a
criminal is arrested, he/she is taken to the Judge Headquarters where he/she
will be punished and most probably executed for his/her crimes.

All crimes have a statutory penalty e.g. jay walking gets 6 strokes of the
leather crop administered by a Judge at once. More serious crimes such as
burglary get 50 strokes on the first offence and lifetime at a Detention
Centre and death on the second carried out by strangulation with a leather
chord. Judges have total power to administer the Death Penalty. There is a
policy of total Zero Tolerance.

In such a society there is no need for courts Prisons are called Detention
Centres where prisoners are subjected to a living Hell of beating and torture
by the Judges that makes the Nazi concentration camps look quite pleasant!
Norselanders cannot understand criminals having rights such as defence lawyers
and police being cross examined in court. As far as they are concerned if you
are arrested by a Judge, the Judge is infallible and you will be found guilty
as charged and punished at once They cannot understand terms such as being
'innocent until being proved guilty'. As far as they are concerned if you are
arrested you are guilty. It is as simple as that!

Naturally the Judges will not tolerate any misbehaviour from foreign tourists
especially Australians English and Americans. What's more misbehaviour
includes dressing in a scruffy way such as wearing tees shirts, shorts,
getting drunk in public etc..

Recently Angela told me of a recent incident where an Australian and English
tourist was laughing at the Line Dancing organised for tourists in
Vikingsborg. They were immediately arrested a Judge called Judge Helga
Angstrom She took them to the Judge Headquarters and gave them 15 strokes each
with a with a leather crop. They were screaming with pain. She then tied them
up on her motorbike, took them to their hotel, ordered them to pack, stamped
them passports and threw them on the next plane out of the country all on her
own! It just shows you what power a Judge has!

What's more Norselanders abroad all come under the authority of Norselandic
Police not the local police These are called the Royal Overseas Judges They
will not put up with foreign police arresting their own people! Recently 2
Norselanders were arrested for disorderly behaviour in a pub in London. They
were taken to the local police station. Naturally the ROJ did not tolerate
this and went immediately around to the police station and demanded their
immediate release. They were taken away from the police station to the ROJ
headquarters next to the Norselandic Embassy and given 15 strokes of the crop
and punished properly for their misdemeanours! The Norselandic

Government warned the British Government this was a serious breach of the
Britisn Norselandic Treaty and threatened military action and economic
sanctions.against the UK

The Norselandic Government will not tolerate any hostile activity by a foreign
Government against Norseland.For instance if The Norselandic Queen Goddess
Anna Christiana visits the UK and there are hostile demonstrations the Justice
League, the elite anti terrorist force, will take hostile measures against the
ringleaders of the demonstrations including arresting them and if necessary
kidnapping them and taking them back to a Detention Centre in Norseland,almost
certainly to the Nander Detention Centre in the Bothnian Islands where they
will be subjected to a living Hell far worse than Guantanamo Bay If there is
any trace of Anti Norselandic activity in the UK the Justice League will be
prepared to go as far as kidnapping a Minister in the British Government if
necessary

As fas as life in Norseland is concerned I have already said it is a Social
Democratic or Socialist state in the true sense of the word.The State looks
after its Citizens .It not only ensures everyone of its Citizens is well cared
for and educated and housed.It also looks after the social needs of its
Citizens.

Social Oficers or Sosialoffiseren in Norseland do not just look after the need
of a few unfortunate people like they do in England such as one parent
families'They look after every Citizen's needs . Every Citizen is a member of
a Herd or Hoda a unit of 50 people that governs every aspect of the Citizen's
life so that children are cared for by the Horda and are the property of the
Queen Goddess not the parents,rather like elephant society The Head of every
Horda is the Sosialoffiser or Sosialoffiser Every single person in the country
has a Sosialoffiser.Most Sosialoffisers just like everyone else in authority
are Women ,a subject I will deal with later.Their job is to look after the
social needs of their subjects.A Sosialoffiser will ensurethat her/his
Subjects are healthy, happy ,socially well balanced and live clean and pure
and Godly lives.

A subject will be visited regularly by his/her Sosialoffiser.The
Sosialoffiser. will ensure that his/her flat is spotlessly clean.The view
taken is that your flat does not belong to you but to the State .This is
because even if you rent it it is part of the Nation and therefore should be
spotlessly clean and tidy, and there is no dirt anywhere .It is actually
illegal to live in squalour and persistent offenders can get up to 6 months in
a Detention Centre as punishment.

The Sosialoffiser will also ensure her/his subject is patriotic to the
Nation.That means that all flats/houses must have large portraits of The Queen
Goddess and the National Flag which is a Green Cross on a white background.The
portrait and Flag must be treated with respect at all times.It is illegal to
be unpatriotic and severe disrespect for the Nation and the Queen Goddess
carries the Death penalty and is equivalent to Treason

The Sosialoffiser will also ensure her/his subject is well balanced physically
and mentally.She/he will ensure that her/his subject is healthy and doing
regular sports and exercise.Norselanders are health and fitness fanatics.That
means anyone not having a sport of any kind is considered a social
deviant.Also the Sosialoffiser will ensure that her/his subject is eating a
proper diet that consists of plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, brown bread
fresh meat and fish.

Most important of all the Sosialoffiser will be fully trained as a
psychologist and therapist. She/he will ensure that her subject is treated if
they are suffering from any kind of depression or mental illness.If her/his
subject has sexual problems the Sosialoffiser will refer her/his subject to a
Sex Therapist free of charge.As well as enjoying good health , diet it is
considered essential that every Norselander should have a healthy and
fulfilling sex life too!

TO BE CONTINUED

Any comments to norselandic@hotmail.com