KIM THE UNDERCOVER BARTENDER
by Hamlet



The Roebuck Inn a Wetherspoon pub in the centre of Nottingham could not
exactly be described as a dive, it was a cut above that, but it certainly was
not a smart uptown saloon either. It fell somewhere in between weighted more
heavily toward the dive end of the scale. It was located near the main square
on St James' St near the Old Market Square where most of the theatres and
restaurants in the city were located.

The clientele was a mixed group of theatre goers but also it had its fair
share of drunks and troublemakers out to become as inebriated as possible
especially on Friday and Saturday nights as well as some management types from
time to time during the day. The usual assortment of prostitutes that an
establishment like this attracts were there also.

The topic of conversation the last three days had been about the new
Norselandic female Bartender whose name was Kim the owner Mike O'Connor had
hired. It had been a long time since a woman like this had been seen in a
place like the Roebuck Inn. She was the tallest woman customers had ever seen,
towering at 6'6", her beautiful face was framed with thick blonde hair that
hung down to her shoulders. She had full red lips and lovely green eyes that
always seemed to have a twinkle in them as she bantered with the customers. No
one had obtained a good look at her except from the neck up. She always wore a
tight leather jacket, loose fitting leather trousers and thigh length high
heeled boots every night when she reported for work. Her prominent breasts
could be seen clearly outlined through the leather jacket.

She talked easily with the customers covering a wide range of topics from
sports to football to politics, to almost anything they could bring up. No
matter what the subject she seemed to be exceptionally well versed in it. She
smiled easily and often, and obviously had a photographic memory because not
only could she quote obscure statistics on a variety of topics but she could
remember customers' names and what

they were drinking so she never had to ask. Ii was clear she was actually
highly educated far more than the customers there having obtained a PhD in her
own Nation

What was more she having an extremely assertive manner with customers
expecting them to address her as Ma'am at all times or she would refuse to
serve them and expected them to treat her with the respect she deserved She
had gone so far as ordering drunken customers out of the bar for the slightest
misbehaviour and even barring them from the pub altogether and they had
dutifully obeyed.. Mike stood in the back and grinned as he saw his bar
business increase each night in the short time she had been there.

On her fourth night, three young managers from one of the local solicitors
stopped in after work and sat at the bar. They were on their fifth round of
drinks and deep in a very animated conversation when one of them, Roy Wooten
gestured with his hands as Kim happened to be walking by. His hand brushed
against her breast. Now Roy was usually very shy around women, especially for
a reasonably good-looking young man and had he not been well under the
influence of alcohol he would have never done what he did next.

"Wow! What are you hiding under that leather jacket?" Roy asked his words
slightly slurred.

"Keep your hands off me and what's more you address me as Ma'am or else." Kim
said very quietly and tried to turn and walk down to the other end of the bar.

"Aw come on, honey, we just want to have some fun." Roy said and reached for
her again. His hands never got to their intended target. Kim reached out and
grasped his shirt front and tie in her right hand, pulling Roy towards her.
Her left hand formed a capable looking fist and became a blur as she snapped
in a short, powerful hook that smashed into Roy's jaw.

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!

Still holding his shirt in her right hand, she again smashed her left fist
into Roy's jaw.

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!

He slumped unconscious in her grasp. Slowly she lowered him to the barstool
and gently propped him up against the stool back. The whole event happened so
fast that no one except for Roy's friends saw what happened.

. "When he wakes up, I'll buy him a drink just to show that there are no hard
feelings but he'd better behave himself the next time or I will break every
bone in his body and bar him from this pub forever.", she told his friends. "
He should be a lot more sober then."

About twenty minutes later Roy started to stir. Kim stood in front of him with
a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

"I asked you not to touch me." she said in her low, throaty voice. " I had to
hit you as you misbehaved and tried to touch me, I'm here to serve you drinks,
talk to you, and laugh and have a good time, but not to touch. I expect
customers to treat me with respect as well as obedience and to address me
properly as Ma'am at all times My body is off limits unless I say otherwise!".

Roy smiled ruefully at her as he rubbed his swelling jaw. "Well, you
definitely made your point. I owe you an apology. I had a little too much to
drink". While Roy was apologizing the Kim had wrapped some ice cubes in a
towel.

She handed it to him and said, "Put this on your jaw, it will help reduce the
swelling and bruising. She brought him a cup of coffee, and picked up his beer
glass.'

. "I'll save this for the next time you come in. I think coffee is what you
need tonight."

Roy said, "I think you're right, I've had enough in more ways than one. What
do you say we start over again, beginning with me? Apology.". He held out his
hand. "My name is Roy Wooten."

Kim's eyes held his in a steady gaze for several seconds, then she smiled and
accepted his hand. "You can call me Kim I'm from Norseland which you can
probably tell from my accent". she said as they shook hands.

"What in the world did you hit me with, you sure pack a wallop.", he asked as
he kept the towel wrapped ice pressed to his jaw. Kim smiled at him again. She
seemed to smile a lot.

"A Woman has to learn to take care of herself,", she said.

Roy spent the next several minutes ignoring his friends and attempting to talk
to Kim as she worked. She would give him no information about herself except
that she came from Norseland where she was worked as a Personal Banker for a
multi-billion bank called the Bank of Domination from a city called
Dannesborg. She worked as a chambermaid during the day at the Premier Hotel in
Nottingham

.Roy finally gave up and asked for the bill. Kim returned with the bill and
tore it up.

"This on me," she said. "I think a sore jaw and a bruised ego is enough for
you to pay for tonight."

She handed him a fresh towel filled with ice cubes. "This is your one for the
road." Roy thanked her, apologized again, for his behaviour and left with his
friends. "He is quite sweet" Kim thought as he left the pub. She could tell
that his friends were already kidding him unmercifully about being knocked out
by a woman.!

Roy told his buddies about his conversation with the beautiful Kim. He related
everything she had told him', Although that was the story, she had given Roy
and everyone else, she had not told him the whole truth. Kim also worked
undercover for the Royal Overseas Judges the Norselandic Police Force that
operated throughout the world

She had been told by her Supervisor Judge Miranda Haarderqvist that large
amounts cocaine was coming into the UK from Eastern Europe through the Roebuck
Kim was one of a team of agents assigned to work the case trying to find out
how the cocaine was being shipped. The Roebuck Inn appeared to be the perfect
place to pick up information with of the location of the cocaine with its wide
mix of customers. She had already heard snatches of conversations that
possibly implicated a drug dealer of Albanian background.

One way the cocaine was transported was to pick it up at East Midlands airport
and bring it into Nottingham to the Roebuck where it would be sold in the bar
itself by drug dealers from the city's cosmopolitan population. Kim diligently
pursued any scrap of information that she could glean from the contacts she
was starting to make at Mike's.

Mike was thrilled with her. Since Kim had become a bartender business had
improved markedly. The more customers who came in, the better for Mike's
business and better for Kim to gather information. Slowly a pattern began to
take shape and some names started to surface.

Kim had developed a routine for each day. She had bought a membership in a gym
or the other side of Nottingham so it would be unlikely that she would bump
into any of the people from the area around the pub. She worked out very hard
every day as she had at the Gym and Fitness Cantref back in Dannesborg

She had a beautiful but very muscular body a result of years of athletics and
weight lifting. Her legs were huge columns of muscle, her thighs forming large
teardrops of muscle. Her belly was flat, hard, and rippling with abdominal
muscles. Her back was wide and powerful, her chest deep and thick. Her
shoulders were broad and capped with muscle. Her arms were massive as a Woman
of her size. When extended her triceps looked like they would explode from
under her skin and when she flexed them her biceps pumped into large, round,
hard balls. With all that muscle most people thought she must have had breast
implants because they were large with prominent nipples. They were wrong,
however. She was just a "freak" of nature as Kim called it. She was skilled in
all types of fighting arts and multilingual as well. All of that added to her
fabulous looks made her a very special package, especially in her line of
work.

. Shortly after becoming an undercover agent for the ROJ she had helped break
a major case. She also developed a reputation within the agency for
interrogating drug dealers. When she finished with them, Kim always had the
information she wanted and the drug dealers were usually candidates for the
hospital and plastic surgery she beat them so badly. This was her first case
after helping to bring in one of the biggest Colombian cartel members and his
American contact when she worked in Miami also as a bartender

She was anxious to bring this case to a close but that did not appear likely
at the moment. So, Kim established her routine. When the Roebuck closed at
3:00AM she hung around trying to pick up additional information from the now
inebriated patrons. Then she went to the flat she was renting and slept. In
the early afternoon she would get up and eat breakfast while catching up on
her paperwork and phone calls to potential informants and colleagues.

After that she would head to the gym and work out. After the workout she would
head back to her flat for a shower and change of clothes. She would have a
quick dinner and head for the area around the Roebuck. She would make the
rounds of other bars in the area searching for contacts or information until
it was time to get to the Roebuck to work her shift, charming the customers
and trying to gather any scrap of information that would help her
investigation.

TO BE CONTINUED

Any suggestions to norselandic@hotmail.com